Bernie's tips for picking up at Fredricks

[crazyhouse]

Come on Bernie, give us you secrets to picking up the grannies of the North West burbs!

 

[brother_desbo]

Come on Bernie, give us you secrets to picking up the grannies of the North West burbs!

Yeah come on bernie, wat r your secrets???

 

[THE DREBSTER]

*** i must have missed this thread,alright gentlemen here's a couple of tips,we will start off with grooming eh

Get the blow dryer and hair spray out and create a nice bufonte,tips and a perm are also winners but please no fuken bryl creem boys

Tightish white chinos with a pair of Kiaks or boat shoes and no socks,or head into the Vic market as i believe they still sell Faberge's

Mustard silk shirt with only and i stress only the bottom two buttons done up with packet of Viscounts/Craven A's in top pocket

Linen/cashmeere sports jacket,sleeves pushed up or brown leather aviator jacket ala Maverick in Top Gun.

Jewelery such as diamond stud,in left ear of course,copper wrist band(you know the one for arthritis) and an abundence of goldchains gleaming in your chest hair goes without saying.

Ribbed condoms,i find black always highlights THE DREBSTERS magnificent sword.

and finally a reservation at Fredericks motel in the deluxe suite with a bottle of Spumante on ice for arrival,If no vacancy then Formular One will suffice

Cheers THE DREBSTER(note the above will guarantee some freaky action,so remember to take your watch off as you wouldnt want to lose it )

 

[THE DREBSTER]

Oops i nearly forgot a key factor in my grooming tips,smelling good and fresh breath

Blue Stratos,Brut and Old Spice are all great scents that will be sure to moisten up the stretch marked snatches of the mature lady your preying upon,or if your after that european masculine effect then Pino,you know that little fuken green pine cone shaped bottle,should be your weapon of choice.

Also a little pocket sized mint breath spray is a good idea and if you chew gum none of this new age extra shit,a good ole fashioned packet of yellow PK is the way to go.There are also denture friendly gums available on the market please consult you local 7-11 store manager for further details

 

[The Mongrel Punt]

a good ole fashioned packet of yellow PK is the way to go.There are also denture friendly gums available on the market please consult you local 7-11 store manager for further details

Surely a pack of Juicy Fruit will suffice?