Best comeback lines

[benny's buddy]

I usually think of a really good comeback about three days later but some people are really quick.

What's the best you've heard or said yourself?

 

[EssJayW]

Its about speed of reply. Dont try to be to funny and whatever the subject is throw it straight back in their face.

 

[sabre_ac]

Its not so much what you say but as mentioned previously the speed, but also the tone and who else is listening.
For example I know a guy that can use the same come back "Ya mumma" to every insult and own his competitor.
Best way I find is to have a laugh at urself first then turn it around.

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

The best thing to do is to give them a taste of their own medicine.

If somebody is flying insults your way, then do it back to them. They will be shocked and they will know that the ball is in their court.

 

[markstaners]

Yeah generally it takes me about 2 minutes to come up with a ripping reply but thats 1 minute 59 secs to late. Dont get me wrong i can do quick replies but to do that you need a bit of intuition and gut feeling that your confident you know what there going to say. Having said that some can come up with good comebacks no matter what straight away all the time. Who knows perhaps they cope more, more often?

 

[noogie_da_sheep]

"I know you are but what am I" ...worst thing is, i still hear people using it

 

[EssJayW]

Originally posted by markstaners
Yeah generally it takes me about 2 minutes to come up with a ripping reply but thats 1 minute 59 secs to late. Dont get me wrong i can do quick replies but to do that you need a bit of intuition and gut feeling that your confident you know what there going to say. Having said that some can come up with good comebacks no matter what straight away all the time. Who knows perhaps they cope more, more often?

Its about not actually caring what others think. If you get over that then it becomes quite easy. And if you say something completely stupid. WGAF, just move on.

 

[dbcrow]

"The jerk store called, they're running out of YOU!"

 

[yikes]

Tell em that its funny but not as funny as they would look naked.

If they dont make a come back say nice come back

 

[jikost]

"nice face"

 

[catattack]

I usually have good comebacks against anyone, and they’re simply spontaneous and pop into the head at the perfect time. Can’t think of them now, but I know I’ve fired down a few rippers. Just the look on their face when they know they’ve been stumped, and the stuttered muttered reply is good enough for me.

 

[Katthawk]

No.... (well it usually works)

 

[GoalsFrom50Out]

"It's okay, you can give her a blowjob if you want." After I was payed about some girl I like, I said to him after I said I'd give his love interest a bong, and he's uber-against drugs.

Wasn't bad.

 

[mansize rooster]

Originally posted by noogie_da_sheep
"I know you are but what am I" ...worst thing is, i still hear people using it

its actualy "i know you are i said you are but what am i"?
ahh its a classic.

and noogie you use it everytime you argue!

 

[Damp Squarie]

I use two depending on the question / insult.

1. " How does G** F***** sound?"
2. "Scott!" and when they look at you quizzically you say " Scott F*** all to do with you!"

 

[choc_a_holic]

lol

wot bout

' wot r u gonna do when da monkey wants his ass bak?'

n there's 1 bout elton jons fanny pack????????
or sumtin bout ' elton john called, he wants his glasses bak'

 

[Kid Dynamite!]

One I used some months back, and it worked: "Sorry, I dont date outside my species."

Then there are my regular ones:
"Why dont you go outside and play hide and go **** yourself?"
"I'm thinking of a word. Starts with N, ends with O. Sounds like NO!"

 

[Docker_Brat]

Bloke I work with thought he was smart and called me a '****ter' in front of everyone, so I shot back: "you might think you can smell your own, but you're sniffing around the wrong a***hole mate." No more problems.

 

[WILKO_6]

Originally posted by Docker_Brat
Bloke I work with thought he was smart and called me a '****ter' in front of everyone, so I shot back: "you might think you can smell your own, but you're sniffing around the wrong a***hole mate." No more problems.

Thats a gem! Would have loved to see the look on his face.

 

[Magpira]

I had this classic senerio back in 99 after the football. We had once again lost to Carlton and were walking out of the G and this group of kids, 3 boys all of about 11, Carlton supporters, were kicking the footy around.

One of them starting being a moron and was kicking the ball into some parked cars along the way. My mother, nicely and in passing said, 'hey, be careful of the cars' and then it started.

For the next five minutes as we were walking along they were going at us about Collingwood and how we are sore losers etc... Then this other woman who was walking behind us made some comment of which I cannot recall, to which one of the boys replied 'shut up you stupid old biatch', then this huge bloke who just happened along behind her, said "Hey, watch your mouth little boy".

After the warning from the big bloke the boys quickened their paces up the road, still kicking the footy into cars and spraying abuse about Collingwood and the rest of us.

Then my moment of ultimate comebacks and quick thinking came. Finally, we got to the end of the road and the group of boys were starting to head the other way. Then one of the boys, and I kid you not he was all of 11, turned around to face everyone walking towards him and with hand actions and all, yelled at the top of his voice......"Suck my C**K"

To which I replied: "Come back in about 10 years honey, when you've actually grown one and I'll think about it"

The little shyt went as bright red as I've ever seen anyone go and I guess was just too dumbfounded to respond.

 

[evade28]

yeh, i am fortunate to be quite gifted with the spontaneous comebacks

my boyfriends brother was crapping on about how fat his **** was and im like 'yeh u kno that fat usually accumulates in areas that never get used' or something to that effect, haha he shutup after that lol!

an old one i like is:

THEM: what are you looking at?
ME: i dont know i havent got my animal book with me
THEM: oh haha, thats original/gee i havent heard that one before
ME: hear it often do you?

 

[Scottroo]

2002, roos beat port at footy park!

Some port feral after the game says "whos house is wayne carey sleaping at 2nite" to my dad...

My dad not known for comebacks cameback with

"atleast he has a ****n house, u pov ****er" was funny times

 

[Rodion]

Heard this one from a trolley boy in Geelong. Not the cleverest ever, but gotta give him marks for quick thinking.

****er in Holden: Hey trolley-push boy! Nice job you got there.
Trolley Boy: At least I have a job.
WIH: So have I.
TB: Sorry mate, the government doesn't recognize 'crack whore' as legitimate employment.

 

[Falchoon]

In the days of the Waverley car park an old battered Kingswood was forcing it's way to the front of the queue. Richmond knob in said car looks at my shiny new Falcon and says something along the lines of "you wouldn't want a scratch on that nice new car fella, get out of the way" I inch forward he says "I'll hit you, I don't care if my car gets scratched" I lean out and say "mate it's a company car, I'll leave it here and pick another one up Monday morning"

Funnily enough he didn't move.

 

[CowboyFromHell]

When someone comes at you with some sort of quip like "you suck", there's nothing better than saying something along the lines of:

"Well that's what your mum did to me last night".... or something along those lines. Hasnt' failed me... yet.