- Joined
- Mar 29, 2005
- Posts
- 8,407
- Reaction score
- 949
- Location
- Glen Iris, Victoria
- AFL Club
- Sydney
- Other Teams
- Bushrangers, Liverpool, Celtics
For mine, counting down from 5:
5. Kent Paul (VC/SA)
4. Carl "CJ" Johnson (SA)
3. Cesar Vialpando (SA)
2. Woozie (SA)
1. Mike Toreno
Toreno is easily the best character in all the GTAs, James Woods does a great job voicing this witty genius.
Toreno: "This history is all wrong! It says that Hitler killed himself, and that we nuked Japan. Well... Whatever helps them sleep at night."
Toreno: "Okay, Carl. Once you get in, I cannot help you. "
CJ: "Can you help me now?"
Toreno: "Um... no actually... no"
Toreno: These guys think they can help the 'overseas situation' by financing militaristic dictators in exchange for arms and contracts.
CJ: Hey, ain't that exactly what you do?
Toreno: Well, kind of, but we get to pick our dictators.
CJ: Why won't these guys come after me?
Toreno: Oh, they can't because they're all posted on me. One DEA, one FBI, one Russian, a Cuban double agent and my pay masters. Checks and balances. Nobody is watching anybody watching nobody. You know what I mean? Go.
Toreno: You know, after what you've done for me, it's like you're a pro now. I got double agents in Panama who want to put a price on your head. A Russian spy - a little, fat, Boris looking guy - he's asking for clearance to interrogate you, Russian style. Calipers on the genitals. Feels good, you'd like it.
Toreno: Now look, I spoke with the big man. You've got clearance to eliminate these f***ers. How's that?
CJ: Huh, man, kill Government agents?
Toreno: Kill, schmill! Come on... don't look at it that way, will you? Think of it as pest control. It works for me.
Toreno: Do not be a ____ing smart-ass with me. I work for a government agency. It is not important which one. I will try not to confuse you. Yes, when we last met, I was involved in battling threats in Latin America, by any means necessary! That does not make me a drug dealer. Now, the money that we raised, the friends that we won over, have helped us immeasurably in our overseas interests.
Toreno: "Carl, learn to fly."
CJ: "I'm on it, man, I swear!"
Toreno: "'I'm on it, man, I swear' Same old broken record, Carl. But that?s fine... because your brother's getting a new cell mate tonight ? Horse ____ Harry. And I'm sending a present, little wedding present - a big tube of lube."
CJ: "Shit, dude, okay! Okay! I swear, man, I'm gonna be the best pilot!"
Toreno: "I'd love to hear you, Carl, I can't hear you. All I can hear is your brother's love cries as 8 kilometers of ____ find its way up his ass.
'Aaooowww?' That's your brother, okay? No big problem."
CJ: "Wait! Please, man!"
Toreno: "That was my last motivational speech, understand? Am I being too spiritual for you, Carl?"
CJ: "OK, man, I get the message."
Toreno: "Roger that, Big Monkey, I got a 13-6 fat vulture. Need to acquire a drowning baby. Over."
What a legend.
5. Kent Paul (VC/SA)
4. Carl "CJ" Johnson (SA)
3. Cesar Vialpando (SA)
2. Woozie (SA)
1. Mike Toreno
Toreno is easily the best character in all the GTAs, James Woods does a great job voicing this witty genius.
Toreno: "This history is all wrong! It says that Hitler killed himself, and that we nuked Japan. Well... Whatever helps them sleep at night."
Toreno: "Okay, Carl. Once you get in, I cannot help you. "
CJ: "Can you help me now?"
Toreno: "Um... no actually... no"
Toreno: These guys think they can help the 'overseas situation' by financing militaristic dictators in exchange for arms and contracts.
CJ: Hey, ain't that exactly what you do?
Toreno: Well, kind of, but we get to pick our dictators.
CJ: Why won't these guys come after me?
Toreno: Oh, they can't because they're all posted on me. One DEA, one FBI, one Russian, a Cuban double agent and my pay masters. Checks and balances. Nobody is watching anybody watching nobody. You know what I mean? Go.
Toreno: You know, after what you've done for me, it's like you're a pro now. I got double agents in Panama who want to put a price on your head. A Russian spy - a little, fat, Boris looking guy - he's asking for clearance to interrogate you, Russian style. Calipers on the genitals. Feels good, you'd like it.
Toreno: Now look, I spoke with the big man. You've got clearance to eliminate these f***ers. How's that?
CJ: Huh, man, kill Government agents?
Toreno: Kill, schmill! Come on... don't look at it that way, will you? Think of it as pest control. It works for me.
Toreno: Do not be a ____ing smart-ass with me. I work for a government agency. It is not important which one. I will try not to confuse you. Yes, when we last met, I was involved in battling threats in Latin America, by any means necessary! That does not make me a drug dealer. Now, the money that we raised, the friends that we won over, have helped us immeasurably in our overseas interests.
Toreno: "Carl, learn to fly."
CJ: "I'm on it, man, I swear!"
Toreno: "'I'm on it, man, I swear' Same old broken record, Carl. But that?s fine... because your brother's getting a new cell mate tonight ? Horse ____ Harry. And I'm sending a present, little wedding present - a big tube of lube."
CJ: "Shit, dude, okay! Okay! I swear, man, I'm gonna be the best pilot!"
Toreno: "I'd love to hear you, Carl, I can't hear you. All I can hear is your brother's love cries as 8 kilometers of ____ find its way up his ass.
'Aaooowww?' That's your brother, okay? No big problem."
CJ: "Wait! Please, man!"
Toreno: "That was my last motivational speech, understand? Am I being too spiritual for you, Carl?"
CJ: "OK, man, I get the message."
Toreno: "Roger that, Big Monkey, I got a 13-6 fat vulture. Need to acquire a drowning baby. Over."
What a legend.
