Best Mum joke you've heard

[Runk]

when she gets in a lift it HAS to go down!!

 

[beleevdat]

Your Mammas' Sooo Fat......

that when she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her and ran out of petrol.


gr8 topic btw

 

[Runk]

Originally posted by beleevdat
gr8 topic btw

Cheers!

Here's another: she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

 

[beleevdat]

hehe !!

here's another -

Your Mum's so fat,

her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side".

 

[Bobby Giovanni]

Your mama's so fat, I'd have to think twice about having sex with her.

 

[ViperV10]

....that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

 

[marcuz]

Your mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Your mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Your mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Your mama's so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

Your mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

 

[Runk]

if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it.

 

[P_D]

Your Momma so fat, when she goes to the restaurant, she looks at the menu and says "Yes, Please!"

 

[Thewlis Dish]

Anyone seen the move 'Remember The Titans'?

The really huge guy walking around hunched over and holding his back, someone asks him what's wrong...

"Man, I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!"

 

[Dogwatcher]

It aint really funny, but it crack me up every time I hear it:
from an Ice T track:

your momma's got two feet on her t***ies....she fell over and hit the ground running.

actually, Flava Flav weighs in on Fear of a Black Planet with the lyrics: your mumma's got gold nipples!

hmmmm?

 

[vindor]

your mum is so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomarang.

 

[Possumisagun]

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Ya Mum.



Yeah.. I just made that up.

 

[mansize rooster]

yo mumas so fat that when she goes down the street in a yellow raincoat ppl yell out "TAXI"

 

[brampta]

Yo mama's so fat that when she was lyin on the beach greenpeace tried to haul her back into the water!

 

[brampta]

Yo mama so fat that when she steps onto the scales it screams "one at a time please!"

 

[beckybiglands]

your mamma's so fat when she gets on the scales they say "to be continued"

 

[Scottroo]

Your mums so fat, last time she say 90210 was on the scales...

 

[Rodion]

Ya Mum's so fat she's got her own postcode.

Ya Mum's so hairy it looks like she's got Matty Scarlett in a headlock.

Ya Mum's so fat that when she wears a striped dress, people queue up for the circus.

 

[Rough_Edges]

O i got a good one

Your Mums so dumb that she starved in a Supermaket!

 

[yikes]

Someone says 2 you that you have put on a bit of weight say thats casue everytime is sleep with your mum she gives me a cookie.

 

[tomaraya]

your mama´s so fat she was baptized at sea world.

your mama´s so fat that when i had sex with her i burnt my arse on the light bulb.

your mama´s so fat that after i had sex with her i rolled off........................................................................twice.

 

[dogman22]

Your mum is so poor, the last time she smelt hot food was when a rich person farted.

Your mum is so ugly, her dildo packed up and ran away from home

Your mum is so ugly, when she was little, your grandma had to tie some sausages around her neck so that the dog would play with her

Your mum is so ugly, if I ever cracked a fat for her I'd amputate my ****

 

[TheFoxhat]

" Can you tell ya MUM to get some new Biscuits"....

 

[Hit And Rum]

Best joke my Mum ever told was when I had a mate around and we watching the Tigers v the Wildcats and Dennis Commeti was doing the commentary for 7.

Dennis: "Grabs the ball. Looking for Gaize. Looking for Gaize"

My Mum: "Is this the basketball or a gay bar?"

Not bad when we were 13!