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Best Mum joke you've heard

  • Thread starter Thread starter Runk
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Your Mammas' Sooo Fat......

that when she was walking down the street, I swerved to miss her and ran out of petrol.


gr8 topic btw
 

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Your mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Your mama's so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Your mama's so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Your mama's so fat she accidently got a 747 caught in her teeth

Your mama's so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
 
Anyone seen the move 'Remember The Titans'?

The really huge guy walking around hunched over and holding his back, someone asks him what's wrong...

"Man, I just gave your momma a piggy-back ride and she weighs twice as much as I do!"
 
It aint really funny, but it crack me up every time I hear it:
from an Ice T track:

your momma's got two feet on her t***ies....she fell over and hit the ground running.

actually, Flava Flav weighs in on Fear of a Black Planet with the lyrics: your mumma's got gold nipples!

hmmmm?
 

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Ya Mum's so fat she's got her own postcode.

Ya Mum's so hairy it looks like she's got Matty Scarlett in a headlock.

Ya Mum's so fat that when she wears a striped dress, people queue up for the circus.
 

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Someone says 2 you that you have put on a bit of weight say thats casue everytime is sleep with your mum she gives me a cookie.
 
your mama´s so fat she was baptized at sea world.

your mama´s so fat that when i had sex with her i burnt my arse on the light bulb.

your mama´s so fat that after i had sex with her i rolled off........................................................................twice.
 
Your mum is so poor, the last time she smelt hot food was when a rich person farted.

Your mum is so ugly, her dildo packed up and ran away from home

Your mum is so ugly, when she was little, your grandma had to tie some sausages around her neck so that the dog would play with her

Your mum is so ugly, if I ever cracked a fat for her I'd amputate my ****
 
Best joke my Mum ever told was when I had a mate around and we watching the Tigers v the Wildcats and Dennis Commeti was doing the commentary for 7.

Dennis: "Grabs the ball. Looking for Gaize. Looking for Gaize"

My Mum: "Is this the basketball or a gay bar?"

Not bad when we were 13!
 

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