Family & Relationships Breaking up with your SO

[ash_1050]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

 

[SugarShane]

Best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

 

[BALKAN]

Dump the body
Burn the evidence

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

Do you have a good group of mates?

 

[ash_1050]

Do you have a good group of mates?

Fortunately yes. I've made plans to get out of the city for a bit and visit friends for the weekend. On top of that everyone has been keen to go out and try and plug the gap with alcohol and messy nights out as a form of therapy.

 

[kfc1]

Reckon Rough_Edges is the man to ask
(hope you're still alive brah)

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Fortunately yes. I've made plans to get out of the city for a bit and visit friends for the weekend. On top of that everyone has been keen to go out and try and plug the gap with alcohol and messy nights out as a form of therapy.

It's really good to keep yourself busy and I've no doubt that you're going to go out, get smashed and pick up a girl to help you get over it... but depending on how you feel about the relationship that can be a bad idea.

How do you feel about the breakup? Relieved, upset, devastated, happy?

 

[Freofalcon]

All part of the living experience.

It probably wont be the only time it happens. The first couple of months will be tough but that goes pretty quick.

Get around your mates and keep busy.

 

[ash_1050]

How do you feel about the breakup? Relieved, upset, devastated, happy?

It was my call to end things but at the moment it's a complete mix of everything feelings wise. It's for the best long term but short term things are going to suck while finding my own place, moving stuff, finding my own feet etc.

 

[ManWithNoName]

"Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

It was my call to end things but at the moment it's a complete mix of everything feelings wise. It's for the best long term but short term things are going to suck while finding my own place, moving stuff, finding my own feet etc.

It will be tough but being confident in your decision will help. Stay busy, try to drink moderately if you're going to drink at all, look after yourself.

 

[kfc1]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

become a chronic masturbater

 

[HBF]

It was my call to end things but at the moment it's a complete mix of everything feelings wise. It's for the best long term but short term things are going to suck while finding my own place, moving stuff, finding my own feet etc.

It'll get easier mate. Just do the hard yards and you'll be fine.

 

[Shell]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

Tbh my own experience is so not the norm it's probably not even worth going into great detail.

But as for the old "time heals all wounds" just be cautious about that. I felt fine for a number of months after my break up, then it hit me like a tonne of bricks later that year. Honestly, I have NFI how I didn't take a lot of time off work at the end of 2012- basically my existence was getting up for work, going to work, coming home, crawling back into bed until the next day, and weekends were pretty much bed bound as well. And just when I thought I was okay, at the beginning of 2014 I wasn't and the same cycle happened as I just described.

Anyway, I'm okay now. But yeah just wanted to say the whole "grieving" process might not be so linear or as simple as you might expect.

 

[Bomberboyokay]

Write threatening letters to her.

 

[GWBogan]

Have sex with a prostitute but make sure they haven't been ****ed by Charlie Sheen though.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Force yourself to spend time with other people, it's the best thing you can do.

Also meet new people - just as friends, doesn't have to be anything more.

 

[Dagless]

I too have had to face a harsh reality with my OS recently...

Spoiler

 

[little graham]

Best of luck, time does heal.

 

[edgie]

Fortunately yes. I've made plans to get out of the city for a bit and visit friends for the weekend. On top of that everyone has been keen to go out and try and plug the gap with alcohol and messy nights out as a form of therapy.

Personally, I'd prefer to keep the mates, but ditch the city and just stay in and drink piss and talk shit, with no closing hour or last call to worry about. The best way to. Keep things light and easy and personal.

 

[chelseacarlton]

Threesome with her bestmate or your bestmate.
Depending on what she's into.

 

[T2B_]

Write a break up song, TayTay style.

 

[exe ex machina]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

Some will say it's just the way I perceive the world/life, but deep down it's the truth.

People mean nothing. Sexual/romantic partners mean nothing. Love is bullshit. People fall in and out of love every two minutes. People are sexually/romantically attracted to multiple people at once. People have that specific person-type (looks/personality) that they find attractive and fall in love with...but there are thousands of people who share that same looks/personality, literal dopplegangers who are everywhere -- same city, same country, same planet. People can be in love with someone, but many other people can be in love with that same person you are in love with, and/or, be in love with you tho you're already loved, and/or, the person you love loves the other people who are in love with them back, and/or you are also in love with the other people who love you tho you are already loved by someone else that you love.

In short, it SHOULD be really easy, like the snap of the fingers, to entirely and utterly and quickly MOVE ON from someone who has just died or you've broken up with. We ALL have that capacity in us. We all do it anyway AS SOON as we DECIDE to. In other words, the only thing holding anyone back from moving on quickly, seamlessly, painlessly, entirely from anyone is our OWN MINDS. Corrupting it with thoughts of love, feelings of attachment, habits, adding sense of meaning or purpose to a person or that relationship. It's seriously all bullshit. Just false emotion we attach to it, give greater significance to than what any of it actually has.

TL;DR = toughen up, literally switch off the sense of attachment, and move on, like shedding a skin.

Also, if not to look at the world as extremely and raw in truth as I do....there's still much benefit in what I preach. Simply learning to entirely, seamlessly, and quickly move on, helps greatly in ensuring you never become one of those whiny losers or stalkers, or worse, people who end up bashing or killing their ex-girlfriends/wives over romantic disputes like them sleeping with someone else etc. Worst thing a man can be is possessive toward the girl (or boy) he loves/lusts, in any little way. So learning to move on like the flick of a switch helps there -- both whilst you're dating and after you've broken up. Remember, you can still apply my attitude here of "flicking the switch", people mean nothing, in purely the context of AFTER you've broken up with someone, but considering the NEXT person you're recently dating as having meaning and love and purpose......and if you break up with them later, you do the same -- they immediately mean NOTHING, and you can still look at the next person as meaning something.

That's if you want to use the deep down truth that GG has given, but tweak it to fit your own perception/belief about "love", "relationships", "meaning", etc.

Lastly, it's all about YOU. Your own mind/life. You HAVE TO be happy and positive in yourself. You have to move on, learn to keep living and enjoying life, let no one bring you down. So harboring feelings of attachment/love/etc only harms that. Hurting yourself over someone who either hurt you, or wanted to stop being with you. So if they hurt you, why would you choose to keep hurting yourself, like taking on the character of the other person and hurting your own self over and over for months and years. That's truly pathetic. Never let anyone get under your skin. Never let anyone outside your own self affect how your self lives life. You owe it to yourself, you only have your own self from the day you're born to the day you die. Not to say go out and hurt/manipulate people to your own advantage. But when it comes to this sort of thing -- relationships -- if someone has done you wrong or chosen to get away from you, be with someone else, not be with you, not love you, etc....then you MUST have the "sporting fair play" attitude of "okay, we lost the game today, but we must regroup and look to the next game ahead". People are ALLOWED to hate you, not be attracted to you, etc, to want to move on to other people....so you should ALLOW them that right.....and just as importantly.....ALLOW YOURSELF that right too. Instead of punishing yourself and/or them like they're not allowed to or you're not allowed to, etc.

It's all weak, pathetic, and it's all bullshit -- as in LIES. Stop lying to yourself. Get a grip, snap the fingers, move on, rip that bandaid/skin off. Enjoy that new life awaiting you now, with new people, new challenges, new loves. Stop being such a whiny loser stalker or who feels "empty" -- empty?!! EMPTY???!!! OMFG that is a lie and lame.

 

[King Elvis]

I've recently broken up with my long term girlfriend and am now dealing with that 'empty' feeling that goes along with suddenly finding yourself single.

What have you done in the past to get over this hump or indeed make the process from taken to single a smoother transition? Over to you BF.

Depends how serious the relationship was; if it was big time, then travel.

 

[BALKAN]

Thanks for that GG *ties noose*