Defending Wayne Carey

[Axl Rose]

It seems to me that there is a tribal witch hunt here for a bloke, whom I must admit did a terrible and ghastly thing to his teammate and his footy club in general but consider the facts -
this sort of thing has gone on before and will probably will do so again -

if a mediocre player say um, Brett Kirk of the Swans was having an 'relationship' with Paul Kelly's missus, i doubt it would have even one tenth of the coverage of Carey's case.

Also how does Kelly Stevens escape scrutiny. She was also part of this, and probably betrayed Anthony just as much, if not more, than Wayne Carey.

Wayne Carey is actually a decent guy in real life i believe, does a lot of work for kids with social problems, and whilst he left in disgrace, his repuatation as the greatest player ever should never be tarnished.

I do feel very sorry for Tony Stevens and Sally Carey, and i hope they can sort their differences out, but it would be a shame if Carey never played again.

 

[The Boot]

Got to agree with you Axl. Blokes are blokes and will have a go at anything in a skirt if the opportunity is given them. Why is Carey getting ALL the blame? 90% of the blame should be on the temptress.

 

[Lionel Lyon]

Originally posted by The Boot
Got to agree with you Axl. Blokes are blokes and will have a go at anything in a skirt if the opportunity is given them. Why is Carey getting ALL the blame? 90% of the blame should be on the temptress.

LOL! YOu gotta be jokin' right? Perhaps I'd settle for 50%, but 90%?? He's the captain for cryin out loud, and he was porkin' his friend and comrade's wife, not some floosey he met in the bar! Sure, we all have temptations, even real bad ones, but we must resist them or face the consequences. In the US Army if you are an officer and commit adultery, you go before the Court Martial, and it's curtains for you. No ifs no buts. Now as far as I am concerned a team is like a platoon of crack troops fully committed to each other. Especially senior players.

 

[Z_K]

Originally posted by Lionel Lyon


LOL! YOu gotta be jokin' right? Perhaps I'd settle for 50%, but 90%?? He's the captain for cryin out loud, and he was porkin' his friend and comrade's wife, not some floosey he met in the bar! Sure, we all have temptations, even real bad ones, but we must resist them or face the consequences.

Spot on

It wasn't a spur of the moment thing. Wayne had the time to know what he was doing was wrong, and continued the fling. That is bull****, and so incomprehensivly stupid that I have not been able to get my head around it all week

 

[Diego]

As much as its pathetic what Wayne did, but it's just a male being a male.

Its true though, he did have time to think about what he was doing and yet continued
until he was caught in the act.

But what about the other party in this soap drama? She consented to having sex knowing well who he was and what he meant to the football public and especially her Husbands best friend. Also she had just had a child as well! Who knows if this has been going on for a lot longer!

No disrespect to Anthony but she is just as low as Wayne but yet she has not been mentioned that much.

 

[Lionel Lyon]

Originally posted by Diego
No disrespect to Anthony but she is just as low as Wayne but yet she has not been mentioned that much.

This is true--morally they are equally culpable because they each broke the vows of loyalty they made to their spouses before God and man. However, Carey is additionally culpable because, unlike her, he (1) transgressed his vow of loyalty to his teammate, and (2) junked his (implicit) vow of respectability and exemplarity to the public. They say royalty has it easy. Wrong. They're there to inspire, unite and hold fast by their noble and impeccable example--not easy--else we may as well get rid of them. Carey's the King, right?

 

[Macca68]

Originally posted by The Boot
Got to agree with you Axl. Blokes are blokes and will have a go at anything in a skirt if the opportunity is given them. Why is Carey getting ALL the blame? 90% of the blame should be on the temptress.

What a completely stupid thing to say...

1 - He was the captain of the club
2 - He is married
3 - Anthony Stevens was one of his best mates
4 - He continued the affair for some time knowing the consequences if their seedy little fling was revealed
5 - He is a role model to many young men
6 - He has let down his club, teammates, supporters, friends and family.

Carey is wrong on so many levels.... but he has paid his price and he should be left alone now to get his life together....

90% is Kelli Steven's fault??.....thats ridiculous...its at least a 50/50 split.

To hear people justify what he did as 'blokes being blokes' is completely laughable and pathetic.

 

[Lionel Lyon]

Originally posted by Macca68
Carey is wrong on so many levels.... but he has paid his price and he should be left alone now to get his life together....

Agreed; the punishment fit the crime. Now he must move on and make good of the situation.

 

[Mudholian]

I think unless you are know every possible fact about everyone involved it is difficult to lay blame.

My view is that it is fine to pass judgement on him as long as people are willing to accept the same standards of judgement on themselves.

Mud

 

[Lionel Lyon]

Originally posted by Mudholian
I think unless you are know every possible fact about everyone involved it is difficult to lay blame.

My view is that it is fine to pass judgement on him as long as people are willing to accept the same standards of judgement on themselves.

Mud

This is true, Mud. We have to know all the facts, and in this light maybe I have talked too much. But we have to uphold certain values, too. I am not saying that under similar circumstances I would not do the same as he, but we have to delineate clearly between right and wrong. Or else we nudge nudge wink wink ourselves into a relativistic moral vacuum.

 

[Joel]

Originally posted by Diego
As much as its pathetic what Wayne did, but it's just a male being a male.

BULL****!!! Its an arseh*le male committing adultery. Don't generalise, just because there are some pathetic low life scum bags males out there, it doesn't mean we are all like that!!!

 

[Dan26]

Adultery is a basic human failing and he should not be hung for it. Whilst not being an expert on the mental state of males and females, I am aware that it's not natural for males to only be sexually active with one female. There is a sub-conscious desire to spread our seed. What he did may have been morally terrible, but one could argue that it was totally natural. Our society deems it unacceptable, but at the end of the day, it's only sex.

A lot of women don't understand that man can EASILY separate their love for one partner and their sexual desire (not love) for another. When one gets right down to the nitty-grity, Wayne probably doesn't love Kelly Stevens, but was able to separate his physical attration to her, from his LOVE (and physical attraction) for his wife. The problem was he got caught doing something that is a basic human failing, and something that is natural (but unacceptable) for all males to do - spread the seed.

Sub-consciosuly, I think woman can't understand why men can separate their love for one person from their physical attraction to another. It seems natural for men to be able to separate this, but not for women.

 

[The Boot]

At least Carey did the right thing in falling on his sword. Look at the crap that's happening with the Eagles, two guys get recorded by the WA police ordering cocaine from a drug dealer, then the whole team gets attacked in the press because the two who were caught by the police won't own up.
It's as bad as GGs cover up of his paedophile priests to protect his church.

 

[The Boot]

Dan 26 said


A lot of women don't understand that man can EASILY separate their love for one partner and their sexual desire (not love) for another. When one gets right down to the nitty-grity, Wayne probably doesn't love Kelly Stevens, but was able to separate his physical attration to her, from his LOVE (and physical attraction) for his wife.

I agree with you, I do'nt think Carey really loves Kelly, otherwise he wouldn't have been having it off with her in a toilet at the party, while both their partners were in another room nearby.
He would have shown her more respect if he really loved her.
I agree it is our animal nature that God has given us that provoked him to perform such unnatural acts over a long period.
But she shouldn't have egged him on.

 

[SMW]

IMO, Careys a victim of his own high profile. But that's what you've gotta deal with when you're club captain and the highest paid AFL footballer in the world. Obviously if say, a 19 year old recruit did this. He'd still probably resign but there wouldn't be the media frenzy that there is now. And that's the sad thing, it's probably the biggest story in years and because of that we are probably eventually going to find out those nitty-gritty details which will harm his reputation further.
So mayby that's why Mrs. Stevens (if she still goes by that name) is apparantly getting off scott-free as far as laying the blame goes. It's because she's not the best footballer in the land and basically, the media don't care about her part in the whole saga.

 

[liz]

Surely the 'crime' that Carey has committed in respect to his position of captain of his club is to betray the trust that his team mates - and vice captain and best mate - placed in him. I agree that condemning him for having an affair is hypocrytical, at least for some - but that's not why he's been judged so poorly. Had he just wanted a fling - or needed to respond to the urge to 'spread his seed' - he could have done it with any one of a million or so females in Australia. By doing it with the wife of a senior colleague and friend he showed an amazing lack of judgement. That's why he can no longer be captain of the Roos, or indeed play with them. Its not about apportioning blame for the affair itself, but just about understanding what the consequences were for his professional position.

And he's not the first person to have to leave their job for an intra-office fling - just that most don't have to do it in the spotlight of the national media. That bit is tough on him and he should now be left alone by the media to pick up the pieces. That much he does deserve.

I also would love to see him back playing in a year's time. It would be a shame if the career of such a great player finished on this note.

 

[Foxtrot]

Strange stuff to be talking about on a footy board but here's my 10 cents.

Steven's wife has certainly not got off scott free. Anyone who knows her will have lost all respect for her after these events. AND she has a young child and husband whose lives she has potentially screwed.

Carey get's it harder because millions more people know who he is AND his actions have consequences on an entire footy club - not just those involved in the affair. Obviously he get's more media attention as a result.

Boys will be boys explanations aside, it was a pretty careless choice of extra-marital affair partner by Carey- his friend and team mate. If he really just couldn't contain his libido surely he could have looked further afield. Carey got married only a year ago. Pretty poor form IMO.

I think some people are trying too hard to defend his actions. You can still think of him as the greatest footy player of all time if you like - but he is definitely not the victim here.

 

[windyhill]

A.F.L
State League
Suburban
Country......
Footy s luts are everywhere.Carey has had women throw themselves at him for years,Kellie Stevens had stars in her eyes.The whole story has not come out on this,pardon the pun,The Wayne is very stiff over this matter,some very unstable characters involved.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

if a mediocre player say um, Brett Kirk of the Swans was having an 'relationship' with Paul Kelly's missus, i doubt it would have even one tenth of the coverage of Carey's case.

I didn't know Kelly's missus was attracted to brushy sideburns.

 

[FreoGirl]

I don't think we have a right to judge. We all make mistakes in life and some of us are lucky enough not to have the eyes of Australia on us when we do it.

I am sure he is not the only one who has been sticking his 'old fella' where he shouldn't have been...he just got caught.
It doesn't make it 'right" but it isn't that uncommon.

he really did chose the wrong woman to do it with though

as a parent, I find the issue of drugs and football players to be more disgusting. It's hard to educate your children not to participate in drug taking when there's a strong possibility some of their heroes are!

 

[goal_umpire]

Originally posted by FreoGirl
I don't think we have a right to judge. We all make mistakes in life and some of us are lucky enough not to have the eyes of Australia on us when we do it.

I am sure he is not the only one who has been sticking his 'old fella' where he shouldn't have been...he just got caught.
It doesn't make it 'right" but it isn't that uncommon.

he really did chose the wrong woman to do it with though

as a parent, I find the issue of drugs and football players to be more disgusting. It's hard to educate your children not to participate in drug taking when there's a strong possibility some of their heroes are!

have to agree with you there FreoGirl. I told my parents the exact same thing.

 

[Rocky]

All that I will say is that it takes TWO TO TANGO!!!!!she is a guilty as Carey,but as Mick Malthouse commented...."Leave it alone,its all over....its history"

catch you all

 

[mandy]

I don't think any of us can judge the situation. As far as I can tell, we're all reading the same articles and getting our information from other people who have no clue of the actual events.

And as easy as it is to say forget about it and move on, the people involved are making that a bit difficult by continually making statements to the press.

Herald Sun Friday "I love my wife" - Wayne Carey.

Herald Sun Saturday "I'll talk to Wayne" - Sally Carey.

I think it's all a bit tacky and they should sort it out amongst themselves. It's none of our business.

I do wish them the best of luck though in sorting the whole mess out.

 

[CyberKev]

Alrighty then, I think I've got a handle on the line of argumentation presented in this thread...

A) Its naturally blokey for men to want sex whenever, wherever and however they can get it so it really should be open slather on the buffet for all men regardless of circumstances.

+

B) Women are naturally sex objects and should do more to stop the inevitable and unavoidable advances of men... Dressing in suits and wearing fake moustaches wouldn't go astray in many cases.

+

C) The female partners of males should expect that men are psychologically prone to rogering any and every female that glances sideways at them and they should accept their spouses indiscretions with suitable good grace.

=

D) Self-control is clearly a commodity that is surplus to need in contemporary society.


Ah, the boofhead tradition is alive and well in footy, bless it.

Is it any wonder that Carey has had the kind of past he has had...

Lewd and offensive behaviour on tap; becoming one of the exalted few to be thrashed with a feather for a drink driving offence; affair with his best mate's wife...

This time, as with other times, we've had fellow footballers and leeches like Nixon on hand to defend him to the hilt (whenever they haven't conveniently looked the other way, of course)!!!

Its a bit hard to get self control when the people close to you continually ignore, excuse, or glorify your marked lack of it...

Kevin

 

[Bee]

I feel sorry for all four people involved in the mess.
Extra marital affairs, cheating happens all the time, it doesn't make it right, but it does happen all the time.

Because Carey is a well known person the whole thing has been played out in public.

It must be devastating for Sally Carey and Anthony Stevens to have to endure the public scrutiny of their personal lives.
They are the innocent people in it and it is bad enough to realise that someone you love has been cheating on you, without the whole lot of it being aired in public.

Having said that I also feel for Carey and Kelli Stevens. Although it is their own fault that the affair began in the first place they still don't deserve the public exposure it has received. If it was just some ordinary "Joe" then nobody would be interested.
I can imagine how Kelli Stevens feels at the moment. She is probably a sweet and respectable person but from now on she will always be thought of as someone with no morals or scruples, and Carey will probably be remembered as someone who was bonking his best mates wife. The man is an absolute champion and deserves to be remembered for that and not some sordid sex scandal.

The irony of it all is those that are throwing stones especially those within football circles are probably running scared at the moment that they too may be caught out. Because you can bet that Carey is not the only one! He was just the first one to be caught out.