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Drunken Mistakes

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My best mate woke up pissed as ten Irish men on St Pat's day and wandered to my other mate's bedroom, just opened up the fly and started pissing once he'd taken a step inside the bedroom. My other mate was in bed with some girl so it put a slight dampener on their evening.
 
A Swallow said:
got ridiculously f*cked up with a mate and ended up at a gay guy's penthouse apartment, let's just say I had to push this guy off me because I came to and he was blowing me.
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Well at least we know where your username came from.
 
SugarShane said:
Well at least we know where your username came from.
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Haha I think someone said something similar when I explained the full story of that night in the other thread. Wild evening.
 
Haven't made a lot of drunken mistakes personally. Or if i have, i don't remember them. Drunken success stories are more my thing. Had a steady partner since high school so I don't have the endearing range of picking up stories, just more like things that you do while drunk that you wonder how you got away with it.

Was at an engagement party a few months back and got suitably hammered. Got dropped off at home with the wife at about 2 in the morning in the pouring rain, and go to enter the front door. Doesn't work. Drunkenly look at my keys with one eye closed to double check that i'm using the right key, which i surprisingly am. Give it a try again, realise that the bolt is unlocking and the handle is working, but our screen door has two security latches at the top and bottom that have apparently given up, and won't unlock.

Well shit. It's 2am and it's raining. And we can't go through the garage door because the remotes are safely in our cars, locked in the garage since we weren't driving. My only option is to scale our 6 foot fence. Never normally a problem, but usually my reflexes are a bit better, or so i thought. By now I'm the right amount of drunk to still think it's a brilliant idea, be relatively impervious to pain, but still have enough coordination to attempt it.

So **** it, i go up to the fence, and do the usual jump and lock my arms in place so i can get over. The fence is cold and slippery but i waste no time in swinging my legs over to jump down in one action. It was pitch black and i couldn't see a thing, but on the way down my feet hit an unsighted wheely bin first, and some how my reflexes have put the wet tyres on in my mind and i land perfectly like a cat on a slippery as shit wheely bin.

As i climb off the bin, my shoes start to slip around on the lid. All the while I'm wondering how the hell i stuck the landing on that bloody thing. From there i open the garage door and we get in the house through the back door.

By all rights i should've ate shit that night, but somehow my subconscious took over and saw me majestically pirouette over the fence and stick the landing to all 9.0s and an 8.5 from the Russian judge. One of my favourite drunken wins that one.
 

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HirdyLannister said:
Well ill add one of my least embarrassing end of year work party stories.
We all got to the pub about 11am and by 4pm in the arvo we all were pretty smashed; my supervisor/boss had his kids there for who knows what reason I think he wasn’t drinking and going home soon. Anyhow we were talking about the birds and the bee’s and I was trying to explain it to my bosses kids the circle of life, I was doing my best to explain how it all starts by tuning a chick. I called over one of my female colleagues and asked her to sit on my lap an I explained to her what I was trying to teach these kids, she was all smiles after hearing about the good deed that I was doing. So I place my hand on her thigh and started to gently rubbing her leg and I suggested we should show them the next stage. We started pashing in front of the boss and his kids, she then turned around and straddled me and we made out for the next 10minutes.

Let’s just say it was very awkward for me every time I crossed paths with that female colleague for the first 3 months of the new year. An my boss always looked at me weird for a month in the new year, like he was proud of me with what I did but I also could of be done with sexual harassment if she knocked back my smooth moves.
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I would leave my job.
 
And_ROOS said:
Tried to sleep with my friend. Failed. Got a text from her mum about 2 hours after. Got a sympathy shag. Probably not one of my finer moments.
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SugarShane said:
Haven't made a lot of drunken mistakes personally. Or if i have, i don't remember them. Drunken success stories are more my thing. Had a steady partner since high school so I don't have the endearing range of picking up stories, just more like things that you do while drunk that you wonder how you got away with it.

Was at an engagement party a few months back and got suitably hammered. Got dropped off at home with the wife at about 2 in the morning in the pouring rain, and go to enter the front door. Doesn't work. Drunkenly look at my keys with one eye closed to double check that i'm using the right key, which i surprisingly am. Give it a try again, realise that the bolt is unlocking and the handle is working, but our screen door has two security latches at the top and bottom that have apparently given up, and won't unlock.

Well shit. It's 2am and it's raining. And we can't go through the garage door because the remotes are safely in our cars, locked in the garage since we weren't driving. My only option is to scale our 6 foot fence. Never normally a problem, but usually my reflexes are a bit better, or so i thought. By now I'm the right amount of drunk to still think it's a brilliant idea, be relatively impervious to pain, but still have enough coordination to attempt it.

So **** it, i go up to the fence, and do the usual jump and lock my arms in place so i can get over. The fence is cold and slippery but i waste no time in swinging my legs over to jump down in one action. It was pitch black and i couldn't see a thing, but on the way down my feet hit an unsighted wheely bin first, and some how my reflexes have put the wet tyres on in my mind and i land perfectly like a cat on a slippery as shit wheely bin.

As i climb off the bin, my shoes start to slip around on the lid. All the while I'm wondering how the hell i stuck the landing on that bloody thing. From there i open the garage door and we get in the house through the back door.

By all rights i should've ate shit that night, but somehow my subconscious took over and saw me majestically pirouette over the fence and stick the landing to all 9.0s and an 8.5 from the Russian judge. One of my favourite drunken wins that one.
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I normally enjoy reading your posts.

This put me to sleep.
 
Told a fat chick that she had a big beer gut when I was 18.

Walking on the freeway and about to go over the harbour bridge after taking the wrong footpath en route to home on a drunken walk home. Had to climb a fence to get back on a footpath.
 
Was on schoolies and my girlfriend was still in Melbourne - ended up getting pretty blind and this solid 8/10 girl was keen on me...so what do I do? I text my girlfriend something like " this hot as girl wants to root me, what should I do?" or something equally ridiculous (riddled with spelling mistakes of course).

I ended up restraining myself and nothing happened, but woke up the next morning I was greeted to about 15 text messages and 20 missed calls and felt like an A grade w***er. Managed to get away with it but things were on thin ice anway and we broke up a few months later.

Come to think of it I've sent plenty more incriminating and embarrassing drunk texts in my time - there should be a breathaliser app for the iphone...
 
treefingers said:
Was on schoolies and my girlfriend was still in Melbourne - ended up getting pretty blind and this solid 8/10 girl was keen on me...so what do I do? I text my girlfriend something like " this hot as girl wants to root me, what should I do?"
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Haha, were you expecting her to say "go ahead" or something? Never mind. A drunken 8 is most likely a sober 2.
 

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treefingers said:
Was on schoolies and my girlfriend was still in Melbourne - ended up getting pretty blind and this solid 8/10 girl was keen on me...so what do I do? I text my girlfriend something like " this hot as girl wants to root me, what should I do?" or something equally ridiculous (riddled with spelling mistakes of course).
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I broke up with a girlfriend a week before schoolies, it was a wise decision. Karma got me two years later when the same thing happened to me.
 
Me and my gf at the time booked into a motel in northbridge for the night before flying out to bali, we hit the piss and pretty hard as well as a bit of recreational drug use (had to get rid of it before flying to indonesia) woke up at about 4am busting for a piss but being shitfaced and semi concious for some reason instead of going to the toilet in the room I walked out the into the hallways completely naked staggering around trying to find a dunny. Lap after lap iwith my Dick swingin in the breeze and I couldn't find one anywhere so decided I couldn't hold on any longer so let it flow all over the carpet.feeling massively relieved I turned around to head back to my room but I was lost and couldn't remember what my room number was, they all look the bloody same :mad:
After what seemed like an eternity stumbling around in the hallways with nothing on I finally found my room and my gf let me back in with a very puzzled look on her face. It wasn't till the morning as we were about to check out I noticed all the security cameras around the place and could only wonder who was in the office watching my every move :oops:
 
SugarShane said:
Haven't made a lot of drunken mistakes personally. Or if i have, i don't remember them. Drunken success stories are more my thing. Had a steady partner since high school so I don't have the endearing range of picking up stories, just more like things that you do while drunk that you wonder how you got away with it.

Was at an engagement party a few months back and got suitably hammered. Got dropped off at home with the wife at about 2 in the morning in the pouring rain, and go to enter the front door. Doesn't work. Drunkenly look at my keys with one eye closed to double check that i'm using the right key, which i surprisingly am. Give it a try again, realise that the bolt is unlocking and the handle is working, but our screen door has two security latches at the top and bottom that have apparently given up, and won't unlock.

Well shit. It's 2am and it's raining. And we can't go through the garage door because the remotes are safely in our cars, locked in the garage since we weren't driving. My only option is to scale our 6 foot fence. Never normally a problem, but usually my reflexes are a bit better, or so i thought. By now I'm the right amount of drunk to still think it's a brilliant idea, be relatively impervious to pain, but still have enough coordination to attempt it.

So **** it, i go up to the fence, and do the usual jump and lock my arms in place so i can get over. The fence is cold and slippery but i waste no time in swinging my legs over to jump down in one action. It was pitch black and i couldn't see a thing, but on the way down my feet hit an unsighted wheely bin first, and some how my reflexes have put the wet tyres on in my mind and i land perfectly like a cat on a slippery as shit wheely bin.

As i climb off the bin, my shoes start to slip around on the lid. All the while I'm wondering how the hell i stuck the landing on that bloody thing. From there i open the garage door and we get in the house through the back door.

By all rights i should've ate shit that night, but somehow my subconscious took over and saw me majestically pirouette over the fence and stick the landing to all 9.0s and an 8.5 from the Russian judge. One of my favourite drunken wins that one.
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what the **** is this? I dont even...
 

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treefingers said:
Was on schoolies and my girlfriend was still in Melbourne - ended up getting pretty blind and this solid 8/10 girl was keen on me...so what do I do? I text my girlfriend something like " this hot as girl wants to root me, what should I do?" or something equally ridiculous (riddled with spelling mistakes of course).

I ended up restraining myself and nothing happened, but woke up the next morning I was greeted to about 15 text messages and 20 missed calls and felt like an A grade ******. Managed to get away with it but things were on thin ice anway and we broke up a few months later.

Come to think of it I've sent plenty more incriminating and embarrassing drunk texts in my time - there should be a breathaliser app for the iphone...
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the first thing i wanna say is - why would you text her? Its only cheating if you get caught. you ****ing Stupe.
also, dont take your phone with you when you drink. you clearly dont have the required skill or judgement.
 
Catsmaninamerica said:
the first thing i wanna say is - why would you text her? Its only cheating if you get caught. you ******* Stupe.
also, dont take your phone with you when you drink. you clearly dont have the required skill or judgement.
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This was a couple of years ago now, I haven't done anything that stupid since. But yeah, **** knows why I would text that. Maybe I just wanted to piss her off. As I said things were on thin ice at the time
 
treefingers said:
This was a couple of years ago now, I haven't done anything that stupid since. But yeah, **** knows why I would text that. Maybe I just wanted to piss her off. As I said things were on thin ice at the time
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The last thing you should do is listen to his advice.
 
Had a mates cousin come up to me in my late twenties and tell me that she will never forget me for breaking in her virginity. Never had the heart to tell her it was only my three fingers.:eek:
 
I've firetrucked the bed in a couple of hostels overseas after getting blind drunk. In both cases it was my last night there so I just pulled up the doona or duvet to cover it up and checked out like nothing had happened. Made it someone else's problem.

The worst was when I firetrucked a couch at a party in Glasgow hosted by a trendy couple in a trendy apartment. I didn't even know them, they were friends of a mate of mine I was travelling around Scotland with. My mate hooked up with some chick there and ended up back at her place somewhere in Glasgow. Meanwhile I crashed out on the couch and proceeded to piss all over it during the course of the night.

I turned the cushions over so they looked dry and then lay casually across them before the trendy couple got up in the morning to offer me a coffee and then they both sat on the other couch chatting to me. It was awkward as hell and I was frantically texting/calling my mate to get him to come back ASAP so we could GTFO and drive back to London before I got sprung. After what seemed like ages my mate eventually rocked up and we got out of there.

Pretty sure they would've discovered my little thankyou gift after we left but by then I was long gone.

.
 

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