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New CEO Cairo Tiger announced today that the Tigers' current ladder position is the result of years of meticulous planning by the administration, and Coaching department.
"We wanted to model ouselves on the St Kilda football club who have mastered the art of rebuilding their list through draft concessions in recent years." Cairo said "In order to achieve this, we needed to spend a few years at the bottom of the ladder and collect some priority draft picks."
"Unfortunately, it was going to prove difficult emulating St Kilda's record of one wooden spoon every four years but our brilliant recruiting department of Diggler, Oxx and Wrennyboy devised an ingenious plan to ensure that we achieved these targets with a minimum risk of success.
Step 1. Use our first round draft picks on players like Fiora and Pettifer. We knew that by selecting players of this quality with our first round selections it would ensure a longer period of mediocrity and help our supporters embrace life at the bottom of the ladder.
Step 2. Use other selections to draft a group of recycled, underperforming rejects that are delisted by other clubs.
Step 3. The appointment of the lovely Froars as our new footy manager. Froars had been asked to ensure that the players were soft and played like a bunch of girls.
Froars has also saved the club mega $$ on medical expenses as all the players line up after a game so she can kiss their injuries better.
Rest assured all Tiger fans The club is exactly where we want it to be...
"We wanted to model ouselves on the St Kilda football club who have mastered the art of rebuilding their list through draft concessions in recent years." Cairo said "In order to achieve this, we needed to spend a few years at the bottom of the ladder and collect some priority draft picks."
"Unfortunately, it was going to prove difficult emulating St Kilda's record of one wooden spoon every four years but our brilliant recruiting department of Diggler, Oxx and Wrennyboy devised an ingenious plan to ensure that we achieved these targets with a minimum risk of success.
Step 1. Use our first round draft picks on players like Fiora and Pettifer. We knew that by selecting players of this quality with our first round selections it would ensure a longer period of mediocrity and help our supporters embrace life at the bottom of the ladder.
Step 2. Use other selections to draft a group of recycled, underperforming rejects that are delisted by other clubs.
Step 3. The appointment of the lovely Froars as our new footy manager. Froars had been asked to ensure that the players were soft and played like a bunch of girls.
Froars has also saved the club mega $$ on medical expenses as all the players line up after a game so she can kiss their injuries better.
Rest assured all Tiger fans The club is exactly where we want it to be...
