FB statuses decoded.

[NSWCROW]

You know what i mean.
Someone posts something and you're like - " Yeahnar bullshit "

#1 - ( Insert females name ) IS SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW !!!
Decoded - " I just ****ed that new bloke i dumped my ex for...and he was BIGGER !!! "


Add your own.

 

[Tiff]

Jane Doe had such a great time in Bali!!!!!!111

*Jane Doe has dengue*

 

[thecatattack]

#2 - status - (insert females name here) I'm so fat and ugly!
Reality - I'm ****ing hot and have an awesome body but I feel like some compliments.

 

[Docker Clint]

"I'm so sick of drama and games, getting rid of the people in my life who cause crap"

= I'm the cause of the drama and have been kicked out of the group.

 

[quin_stick]

Anything involving being hungover = I'm hell cool coz I got really drunk last night

 

[CrippsonBlue]

*[insert female name] changed her relationship status to 'single'*

Decoded = I just had a fight with my boyfriend and will soon post that he is the greatest guy in the world.

 

[Poseidon]

Daniela has the best boyfriend in the world! :*

Decoded: My boyfriend bought me some flowers from the deli.

 

[cheesedogg]

Like for a rate/inbox/like back/etc


Decoded-"I'm 12" or "I'm a flog"

 

[Poseidon]

"**** da police/damn pigs ruined the night!/stupid cops go f yourselves!"

Decoded: I was stupidly speeding/drink driving/generally breaking the law and was picked up for it through nobody's fault but my own, but it is the cop's fault for doing his job.

 

[quin_stick]

"At home on a Friday/Saturday night watching *insert lame TV show/movie*, YOLO!"

Decoded; I want to get heaps of likes on a status

 

[d0gs]

Anything involving being hungover = I'm hell cool coz I got really drunk last night

HATE these. Have a few repeat offenders of these ones, always on a Sunday morning and will always end with "why do I keep doing this? I say ill stop every week LOL"
Best is when someone writes something along the lines of "nobody gives a shit" which then gets double the amount of likes than the actual status.

 

[Dazb86]

"Just got back from the gym, Im going to be sore tomorrow"

aka - I'm a ****ing annoying ****

 

[radiojake]

Apostrophes are not used to indicate plurals

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Christ I'm glad i dont have Facebook

 

[Stratton_Gun]

Anything to do with going to the gym

"Girls, I am getting genetic freak and hit me up if you want the D"

 

[treefingers]

so confused atm y do u do this to me..? really dont noe if im doing te right thing. my hearts telling me yes but my head no... arrrhgg gonna b another sleepless night
legitimate facebook status i just saw

 

[Silent Alarm]

"Would love cuddles right now," is especially interesting. It's obvious what 'cuddles' truly entail. But I reckon those chicks feel like they've hit the jackpot when it's raining as well, because their thinly veiled 'someone, let's root!' status isn't as seedy as they intended.

And I won't lie, I'm interested in what kind of PMs those statuses get...

 

[Quivorir]

"is unreasonable exhausted after only 4 hours of work.. i don't get it!"

"just in case anyone else lost track... 9 sleeps till i leave, 10 till i get to Alice! " - This type of thing, at least twice a day

"just a warning to ppls, i have turned into an even bigger bitch than normal recently, and this behaviour is likely to continue for a cpl more weeks.. don't cross me because i will hold nothing back!"

"This is ****ing bullshit!! I swear, if shit doesn't get sorted soon, I will be coming to Alice with the sole purpose of kicking someone's ass in less than 2 weeks."

"i want to be in alice already. i want to go out drinking with friends, for just one night, not worry about bills, forget the stress and all the issues from the last 3 months and just relax and come home with my boyfriend, not go to bed alone."

"wide awake and completely bored.. considering going for a drive but idk where? anyone else awake?"


Sall the same person.

 

[radiojake]

this shit is rivetting..

makes me wonder why I have been denying myself the pleasure of the facebook world

 

[BotsMaster]

"Looking back over my friends list and have decided maybe it's time for a deleting session. Only have the good people in my life on here til I get better mentally.
Hmm...to do it or not?"

 

[carn tigez]

I tend to hate most facebook statuses unless they are news breaking, genuinely funny or analytical.

All the rest are attention seeking, boring and unnecessary.

 

[Simple Jack]

this shit is rivetting..

makes me wonder why I have been denying myself the pleasure of the facebook world

I had myspace and thought it was stupid, then when facebook came out (i.e. the exact same thing) I decided I wouldn't ever bother with it.

Based on this thread, I have been vindicated.

Did have to put up with this sort of shit on myspace though, and after reading through them and ing the whole time my brain started to hurt just thinking about the fact that so many people can be so moronic.

 

[Quivorir]

People don't seem to understand you can chose your friends on facebook. You dont have to have the whiny little 12 year old talking shit every three minutes.

 

[Donners]

Christ I'm glad i dont have Facebook

It's actually pretty good if you have decent people on it. Most of the complaints I've seen about FB could be resolved by having some standards about who is added as a friend.

 

[Thistle]

"I'm so upset "

I'm not going to tell you why because I only made this status for attention