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Friend Etiquette

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checkraiseulite said:
40 mins each way probably. longer depending on traffic. typically he's booked an early flight to save $15-20.

so if one of your mates who you wouldn't consider in your 5-10 'best mates' rang you up and asked you to drive him and his gf from geelong to tullamarine leaving at 6:30am friday morning you'd snap accept?

also i can't assume he'd definitely do the same for me.

edit: it will take me 40 minutes there, at least 80 minutes on the return as it'll be coming into peak hour city-bound traffic.
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I have done this without thought for friends of mine, mainly close friends, but to grade them inside the top 10 friends i have would be hard. I would say they would be in the top 5-10 sure but i ca nsay i have picked people up/driven them to Tullamrine 3 times in the last 18 months from Geelong. twice to Avolon which is only about 30 minutes away. So for me it was easier.

I am a uni student have time and was happy to do it for these friends. If they are my friends then it shouldnt matter, i think the problem is you dont see yourself as friends with this guy/girl. limiting favours to close friends is dumb imo. Why have so few close friends, why number them? it is only limiting how many good friends you do and the people who would do the same for you.

Also i know my fiends will give me money for Petrol, the friend who i am probably least close to but still good friends with got me a bottle of rum through duty free for the favour without me asking for it at all ect so i guess it is a karma thing and i tend to like karma, what goes around comes around. If you arnt willing to help people out they wont help you out in return mate and your life will be harder for it.

i know i can ask these people for favours and lifts ect when i need it, mates moving, lending/helping mow lawns when needed, lifts all been provided without fuss in the last 12 months
 

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MrNatural said:
I don't mind doing favors for mates if there's been a history of them doing things for me or a good change they will replicate.
Although in my younger days i was a bit of a push over.
I remember when i first got my license at school, i was one of the first, so i used up a fair bit.
The main issue was, i was earning like $70 a week, which barely covered my fuel for a week, and i had mates who expected me to drive them home for nothing.
Whenever I'd ask for petrol money, i'd be labelled a tightarse, however, those who did call me a tight arse never drove me anywhere, didn't had to earn their own money, and when they got their licenses, they never drove me around.
I recently had a mate who asked me to help him move house. Turned out to be a whole Saturday devoted to helping him move, that's ok. He shouted me a feed that night and gave me $50 for my time, so that was nice. Hopefully when i need to move, i can employ him for the day.
As for the OP, I'd be happy to drive a mate to the airport, so long as he maybe chucked in a few bucks, or atleast offered something, and then when you need a lift to the airport, he doesn't dodge it.
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I had a mate do this for me, turned up at about 10 one day to help us move house stayed ALL day, one of my less reliable housemates who was moving with us didnt turn up until 3:30 that day. one mate helped who had no involvement but being a good bloke the other was living in said houses, and didnt move shit..... only had this day with trailer hire ect so need the hand. Bought said mate a steak ect for dinner and beers deal done. I will help him with whatever in future no worries. Just shows the difference between people imo.
 
A lift to the airport is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things, even if you live on the other side of the city.

My best 20 or so (maybe more, just a number I plucked out) mates I would drive to the airport, probably would help any of them move house too.
 
Bunk Moreland said:
Seems like a strange thing to ask internet advice on TBH.
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If you read the OP I wasn't asking for advice as to whether to take them or not. Was trying to see different people's opinions on what's acceptable for people to ask their friends to help them with.

Seems like most of big footy gd are great blokes/door mats though which is interesting. Let me say I probably wouldn't even ask my close mates for this favour. I'd just eat the $65 rather than inconvenience them.
 
checkraiseulite said:
If you read the OP I wasn't asking for advice as to whether to take them or not. Was trying to see different people's opinions on what's acceptable for people to ask their friends to help them with.

Seems like most of big footy gd are great blokes/door mats though which is interesting. Let me say I probably wouldn't even ask my close mates for this favour. I'd just eat the $65 rather than inconvenience them.
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Fair enough... imo, it’s perfectly acceptable mate behaviour. It’s a favour, of course that’s what friends do.

I’d ask my mates to do this if they could... and would offer to do it for them if I was free.
 
I would definitely do it, but I'm the type of moron who lends a mate $550 for rent knowing I'll never see it again. Twice.

I would never ask a mate to do what this bloke is asking you to do. I would feel like I was being a nuisance and find my own way there. I also wouldn't book a flight that departs from Avalon ffs.
 
If he isn't a close friend then there's no obligation to do it.

I drove a mate to the Airport once, he was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane for a wedding and was really excited about flying for the first time. We were having a great chat on the way and he jumped out and I took off and three hours later when I charged my phone up I realised I had 26 unread messages and missed calls from him. I thought something bad must have happened or maybe his flight was cancelled so I call him back and he angrily informs me that I took off before he had a chance to get his luggage out of my boot.

Needless to say, I drove all the way back and met him there as he had managed to get a seat on a night flight, I did go halvies with him as an act of goodwill but I have not heard from him since.

This was six years ago.
 
AtomicBlonde said:
If he isn't a close friend then there's no obligation to do it.

I drove a mate to the Airport once, he was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane for a wedding and was really excited about flying for the first time. We were having a great chat on the way and he jumped out and I took off and three hours later when I charged my phone up I realised I had 26 unread messages and missed calls from him. I thought something bad must have happened or maybe his flight was cancelled so I call him back and he angrily informs me that I took off before he had a chance to get his luggage out of my boot.

Needless to say, I drove all the way back and met him there as he had managed to get a seat on a night flight, I did go halvies with him as an act of goodwill but I have not heard from him since.

This was six years ago.
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Actually LOL'd for about 10 seconds. Quality
 

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checkraiseulite said:
what's acceptable for people to ask their friends to help them with.
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Everything. For a friend, nothing's too much trouble.

But that presupposes that there is a reciprocal friendship there, and favours have been exchanged in the past or favours are likely to be exchanged in the future. That gets people on my close friends list and I'd do anything for them (well, almost ... I wouldn't rob a bank for them).

If I'm not doing anything I absolutely need to do (e.g. go to work), I'd gladly go out of my way to help a friend in need.
 
If he is a good enough friend that you catch up one on one then consider it if you can do it if he doesn't have a history of mooching. If you only ever see him through other people then tell him to **** off
 
If the airport is between 1 and 20 km away from you it is totally okay. They got to be special for anything up to 100k, if it is further than 100ks than they should have a damn good reason or better be damn best freinds with you.
 
checkraiseulite said:
He's only asked me to take them out there Friday morning, probably because he lives pretty close to me.
I told him I'd let him know tomorrow if I can do it, although I'm 99% sure I could do it if I wanted to. It will mean I have to get up earlier than usual and perhaps influence my Thursday night activities if I chose to commit to taking them.

He's not one of my close friends and has not done anything like this for me before. I have met his girlfriend probably 10-15 times. I would never have asked him for the same favour.

I may take them out there, but I certainly won't be picking them up. To me it seems a fairly dick move to ask.
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Out of interest is he a particularly tight individual?

I find the most frugal seem to be the loosest with social rules.

Airport pick up or drop off requests should be family members or close friends, otherwise just catch public transport/taxi.

That said, a favour is a favour..
 

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sabre_ac said:
Out of interest is he a particularly tight individual?

I find the most frugal seem to be the loosest with social rules.

Airport pick up or drop off requests should be family members or close friends, otherwise just catch public transport/taxi.

That said, a favour is a favour..
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No he's not ordinarily tight with money and when I've gone out with him he's always seemed fine. But again, I don't know him that well to say definitively. We live about 1.5km from each other so I guess that's why he's asked me, most of our mutual friends live over the other side of the city.

The only people I'd ask for this are housemates, gf and parents if they lived close enough to make this convenient. Otherwise I'd get a shuttle/cab.

I don't care about getting $10 petrol money either for taking him and I doubt he will offer this as it's not common amongst my group of friends. When I mention money I'm trying to price the inconvenience caused to me which is >$65 (cost of leaving his own car at avalon for 4 days) imo and why i don't want to do it, and why i would assume most people wouldn't ask friends they're not that close with for this.
 
The answer to the question in the OP is that it is cool to ask a friend to do anything you would be prepared to do for them. If a friend asks me for a big favour I take it as a compliment in terms of how highly he regards our friendship.

Being friends with someone doesn't place you under any obligation to do things for them. Rather, willingness to do things for someone is a measure of friendship. Do it, don't do it, whatever you want. Just be aware that the answer will either cause him to elevate or reevaluate your relationship.

In this specific situation I would probably just do it, if not out of friendship then at least for the accrued goodwill. It doesn't sound like there is anything particularly significant standing in the way, and it never hurts to bolster one's reputation as a generous person - not to mention obtaining a marker. You never know when favours owed may come in handy.
 
The OP's answer sounds more like they ae casual friends or acquaintances rather than thick as thieves kind of friends ..
 
morri said:
If the airport is between 1 and 20 km away from you it is totally okay. They got to be special for anything up to 100k, if it is further than 100ks than they should have a damn good reason or better be damn best freinds with you.
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If the airport was 1km away i'd tell him to walk it. lol.
 

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