Funniest spectator wisecrack

[Dogs_r_barking]

I have heard some really clever witty wisecracks at footy games, many of them like jokes I tend to forget after awhile. But one I remember from last year whilst we played at AAMI one Sunday afternoon in May was "You should have taken your mother's out for lunch Port Adelaide" to a gloomy, loosing crowd.
One of the Port Adelaide supporters held up a sign at that game which read "Chocco to Bagdad - immediately!!!"
What gems do other supporters remember?

 

[Bulldogsroar]

Dogs were getting a baeting during the Rhodes experimment..........
a burly doogy supporter yells out " come on dogs I am miising the Gilmore Girls to watch this"

1997 final v eagles , the blokes behind me were giving it to Jackovich about being on drugs, when he came near the fence one of them yelled out ....
" jackovich , how big is your d*ck after all those steroids ?"

 

[#1 Dogs Fan]

I remember i sign at a bulldogs game that had on it Peter Rhode Our Master Mind HA THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE

 

[The Coon Dog]

In 1996 we played a night match at the MCG against North Melbourne. They were bad that night but we were worse, the highlight being Chris Grant's game at CHB on Wayne Carey (that was the year Grant got 2 votes in R22 & Hird got 3 to tie with Voss. A late goal to Mercuri was the difference between Grant & Hird winning a Charlie).
Towards the end of the game after Grant had outmarked Carey in a 1 on 1 duel, someone yelled out, "You won't need a shower after the game Carey, you've already had a bath!"
Loved it.

 

[Pembleton]

A late goal to Mercuri was the difference between Grant & Hird winning a Charlie).

Why did Kritter kick across the ground? Why did Libba keep backing away on Mercuri's mark? Why do so many of my Bulldog memories end in gut wrenching sadness?

 

[cammo78]

To the umpires - "at least take us out for dinner before you f**k us"...GOLD.

 

[scooter600x]

Just before Malcolm Blight got the chop at St. Kilda, the St. Kilda cheersquad had a sign that said "He's not the Messiah, he's a naughty boy"

 

[Go_Dogs]

"Kick it to your mother, she's loose" in reference to a power player.

 

[INSIGHT]

Salmon (probably Ian not Paul after doing something stupid) you are the fish that John West rejects

 

[dogbowl]

Fat Essendon bloke with strangely high voice, after their dud ruckman got dragged: "You ought to be nailed to the bench, Alessio".

Doggies supporter at end of Q3 in last year's demolition final of Pies, to early-departing Pies fan: "Hey mate, they might give you a refund if you ask nicely at the gate!"

 

[Riverat]

When one of our blokes went down with an injury, opposition suppoter yells out 'Bring out the screen and shoot the bastard'

 

[stevebiscuit]

During Johno's 250th game against Brisbane at the dome.

Johno tries to do a little bit to much and ends up kicking the ball out on the full, Brisbane guys yells out, 'How many games does it take to learn Johnson, 251?'

 

[westdog54]

During West Coast's warm up at Optus Oval a few years back, a dogs supporter yells out "Your brother owes me money Jakovich!"

A few rounds earlier against Hawthorn, Paul Salmon goes down clutching his leg, "Gee, hope ou don't need to go to hospital Salmon, cos your mate Jeff sold 'em all!!"

 

[D Mitchell]

Jon Dorotich had been caught doing a Brodie Holland in a car. during teh game, he trosts towards teh boundary line at a throw in on the members wing at teh Westerrn Oval.

"Show us yer slug, Dora."

 

[Mofra]

Lockett in his St Kilda days, when Hawkins was kicking a few from the forward pocket at the other end.

Lockett gathers, baulks, fends, deflty swings onto his right to snap the ball though.... straight through for a behind.

Voice from the crowd, "Who the f*** do you think you are Lockett... Doug Hawkins?" (E J Whitten stand loved it).

Different game, same FF, at half time goaless with gloves Campbell doing well. Campbell walks up the race and is greeted with a fan screaming, "Ya killing him ya big ****!"


Umpire Peter Cameron walks around the boundary during a reserves match, coming back after his injury (kicked by a horse). 20 mins before the game has even started someone screams out "The horse should've finished you off Cameron!". Even he had to chuckle.

 

[wires on fire.]

get a hair cut barry! (hall). get it? cause he's a baldy.

 

[Dry Rot]

At the SCG, Swans vs Pies in their spoon year (99?).

Pies were atrocious, Buckley really good.

Pies supporter yells out to Buckley whenever he has the ball "Kick it to yourself, Bucks!"

 

[fred cook]

At pricess Park one day Kernehan kicks a goal against us and has a big smile on his face

A doggie fan yells out


What are u smiling at sticks while you kicked that goal my mate was robbing your house and stealing your Status Quo albums

 

[NW2]

At pricess Park one day Kernehan kicks a goal against us and has a big smile on his face

A doggie fan yells out


What are u smiling at sticks while you kicked that goal my mate was robbing your house and stealing your Status Quo albums

We have a winner.

 

[always right]

Suburban game between local Frankston side and The Pines. Bit of a dustup on the field and supporters from both sides start giving it to each other verbally. Fair bit of welfare receivers amongst The Pines supporters and after one of them had one too many cracks at the Frankston supporters, one of the Frankston guys yells back....."Shut the F*** up or I'll put up your rent"!

 

[westdog54]

Umpire Peter Cameron walks around the boundary during a reserves match, coming back after his injury (kicked by a horse). 20 mins before the game has even started someone screams out "The horse should've finished you off Cameron!". Even he had to chuckle.

I've actually met Peter Cameron, great bloke, got a fantastic sense of humour.

 

[desipura]

When Fitzroy were playing their last season in the AFL in 1996, they had not won a game in months. Playing them the Whitten Oval some Fitzroy supporter started yelling abuse at our players to which I replied "When's the last time you won one in a row?"

 

[Bulldogsroar]

Umpire comig off the ground at half time is copping usual abuse , " go read the rule book you blind white maggott ...."

the umpire relied " there isnt a brail edition "

 

[itchyrichie]

last year against st kilda, there home game at the dome, there were these 2 blokes, carlton suppoters standing next to us, good blokes, funny ba$tA0$ were giving it to st kilda players,,, and a st kilda member in front of us (had an empty seat next to him) stared giving it back to the carlton guys, then one of them said to him, " i dont blame ur missus from divorcing ya" then the st kilda bloke was going off his head, and then this other pussy looking st kilda supporter tapped him on the shoulder and said " ur making the rest of us good st kilda members look like ********s,,, shut up"...

it was a classic the loser didnt know what to say... i really dont like st kilda supporters

 

[itchyrichie]

last year against st kilda, there home game at the dome, there were these 2 blokes, carlton suppoters standing next to us, good blokes, funny ba$tA0$ were giving it to st kilda players,,, and a st kilda member in front of us (had an empty seat next to him) stared giving it back to the carlton guys, then one of them said to him, " i dont blame ur missus from divorcing ya" then the st kilda bloke was going off his head, and then this other pussy looking st kilda supporter tapped him on the shoulder and said " ur making the rest of us good st kilda members look like d!<Khead$,,, shut up"...

it was a classic the loser didnt know what to say... i really dont like st kilda supporters