Post BF Upgrade Feedback - Click Here

Remove this Banner Ad

Ghosting

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Free Agent

Free Agent

Norm Smith Medallist
Veteran
Joined
May 25, 2017
Posts
5,903
Reaction score
8,064
AFL Club
West Coast
Have you ghosted people for whatever reason just decided to disconnect all contact with some old friends ect. Is it ok or is it unacceptable. I've done it before and to be honest have felt pretty guilty about it.
Sometimes you just know with some people there's no other way to cease contact then create unnecessary conflict by saying some hard truths on why you are ghosting them.

Is this right or wrong.
 
I don't think so. I have certainly ended relationships kind of abruptly in the past but I don't think I've ever done it without warning (unless you count generally drifting apart).

I do feel that ending a longstanding relationship requires some kind of explanation, although the detail offered is probably contingent on the extent to which it is useful.

As I have got older I have become more adept at having difficult conversations with people, and I would say that unless someone is quite seriously mentally unstable there is almost always a way to communicate problems in a manner that is constructive and effective, and doesn't create unnecessary conflict. Most people can take negative feedback as long as you phrase it appropriately and ensure they continue to feel feel safe and respected during the conversation.
 
Free Agent said:
Have you ghosted people for whatever reason just decided to disconnect all contact with some old friends ect. Is it ok or is it unacceptable. I've done it before and to be honest have felt pretty guilty about it.
Sometimes you just know with some people there's no other way to cease contact then create unnecessary conflict by saying some hard truths on why you are ghosting them.

Is this right or wrong.
Click to expand...

firstly,
i'm sure you meant etc (the abbreviation of etcetera) ; ect is the abbreviation of electro convulsive therapy ... however, as narcissists tend to ghost during a discard phase, and because you've admitted to having ghosted before, i think you really need to look inside yourself and question the reasoning for your ghosting of an old "friend".
do they deserve your withdrawal without explanation,
or are you choosing to shut them out to avoid being confronted with home truths in regard to yourself, your own behaviour, which although you may even own up to, whilst providing excuses in the absence of any sincere apology, is it simpler to ghost and move on to another unsuspecting, accepting the flaws in your own behaviour because they are too painful to acknowledge?
are you ghosting to avoid the huge, perhaps impossible endeavour to change something about yourself that would yield better results not only for yourself, but for other "friends" past, present AND future?


[emoji187]imho
 

Log in to remove this Banner Ad

Youve made friends with someone
You realise they are nice but completely different to you in a million ways.
If you tell them, it breaks their heart..... if you drift into the ether, with the occasional get together it slowly fades...life goes on
 
I find people who complain about ghosting as insecure, needing validation from every personal encounter they have. What is with some people's expectation that the person you just met randomly once or twice now owe an explanation for not wanting to see you again? It reminds me of people who hound HR departments when they don't get a job.

Granted, ghosting someone who you have been with on a regular basis for an extended period of time is quite low but ghosting someone who you barely know is a non-issue.
 
I had a friend ghost me at the start of the year. It was quite disconcerting but I got over it and moved on. But about a month ago he sends me a message, "Hey, rough few months. Wanna catch up?" I didn't even bother responding to it.
 
Perth gal said:
Why ?
Click to expand...

Why didn't I respond? Why would I respond to someone who ignored and ghosted me for 6 months then out of the blue wants to reconnect?
 
I've written off a couple of friends- its just too ****ing hard organising anything and I'm truly sick of it.

It really does hurt but end of the day you can't force people to spend time with you.
Instead I'm focusing on the ppl that do.
 

Remove this Banner Ad

I'm not sure about ghosting but there been people in past where I just no longer desire to spend time with, but it usually is not out of the blue. They had to have done things over time to make me just think, I have no desire to spend any time with them anymore as we just not on same page.

In my twenties I eventually just stopped staying in contact with old high school friends. There was one person in our group I could no longer stand so if my other school mates wanted to socialize with him, I was no longer going to spend time with them.

Breaking up with girlfriend is a lot trickier though as they need a proper explanation and because it has deeper emotions, it bloody hard to do.
 
I kind of ghosted a friend after nearly 20 years of friendship. However she let another friend come between us and was disloyal. She deserved it.
 
If we are talking about dating and stuff, if you've met someone even once and they weren't a complete loon, I'd say have a bit of courtesy and just say you didn't feel a connection if they try for another date or something
It gets tougher when people can't take hints and you're forced to be more blunt
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Remove this Banner Ad

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Back
Top Bottom