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I stumbled across this summation of Carlton's list on another site. ****ed myself laughing, especially the bit on Justin Davies. Was apparently put together by a Richmond supporter. Would love to see his analysis of the present Richmond list...................
Denis Pagan has announced that every player on the senior list at Carlton is up for trade. For interested buyers here is a short summary of each player's current status.
Matthew Allan - Currently the best ruckman at the club, which is like being the prettiest woman in Iraq.
Callan Beasy - At this rate will bring up his 100th game in 2037.
Simon Beaumont - I think he once had a good half against someone.
Blake Campbell - I don't know enough about footy to know about him.
Scott Camporeale - Wants out and who could blame him.
Cameron Croad - Recruited under the ******* brother rule.
Justin Davies - Attempted to escape mid-season but only made it as far as Shepparton before he was caught.
Andrew Eccles - Traded for Kris Massie. Game, set, match : Adelaide.
Brendan Fevola - Very reliable, strong character. Carlton plan to build a team around him.
Brad Fisher - Promising forward with bright future if he doesn't get trampled by Lance.
Simon Fletcher - Hopes to finish his career back with Geelong Reserves if his form lifts.
Anthony Franchina - Back in the ones. He hasn't improved, everyone else has got worse.
Scott Freeborn - Supposed to be de-listed in 2001 but the paperwork got lost.
Barnaby French - Great catching skills, could end up in the Bangladeshi slip cordon.
Adrian Hickmott - So much happier now.
Ryan Houlihan - One of Carlton's toughest, now doesn't that say something.
Darren Hulme - Unhappy and uncontracted.
Anthony Koutoufides - His knee is as pretty as his wife.
Matthew Lappin - Hates Pagan Loves Beer
Luke Livingston - Will inherit Mick Martyn's position, as League's most unskilled player.
The Mighty M's - Manton, Martyn, Mathews, McKernan, Merrington, Murphy and McKenzie - All to be de-listed.
Andrew McKay - In career best form or is it just an illusion? Check the meaning of contrast to find the answer.
Karl Norman - Like the flowering hibiscus he was born, flourished and faded all in a single day.
Jim Plunkett - 'Jim Plunkett', one of the great names in NFL, not so great in the AFL.
Ian Prendergast - Great aerobic capacity which will come in handy chasing opponents over the next few years.
Brett Ratten - See Adrian Hickmott.
Kade Simpson - "I think I may have over estimated this Simpson fellow" - Montgomery C. Burns, Dental Plan episode.
Trent Sporn - They say he's great, I say how do you know?
Bret Thornton - I'm confused, who's better him or Wiggins.
Simon Wiggins - I'm confused, who's better him or Thornton.
Jarrad Waite - Courageous lad. Has had to overcome the personal tragedy of playing for Carlton.
Lance Whitnall - Carlton fans love him and there'll be more of him to love in 2004.
Laurence Angwin - My client pleads not guilty Your Honour.
Tom Hedge - Who!!
Jon McCormick - Good young lad, should get out while he can.
Sean O'Keefe - Has done enough to get de-listed and re-drafted again.
Michael Stinear - No idea who he is but he must still be a chance to win the Carlton B&F this year.
The last laugh may be on us if Brittain entices any of them over to Tigerland...............
Denis Pagan has announced that every player on the senior list at Carlton is up for trade. For interested buyers here is a short summary of each player's current status.
Matthew Allan - Currently the best ruckman at the club, which is like being the prettiest woman in Iraq.
Callan Beasy - At this rate will bring up his 100th game in 2037.
Simon Beaumont - I think he once had a good half against someone.
Blake Campbell - I don't know enough about footy to know about him.
Scott Camporeale - Wants out and who could blame him.
Cameron Croad - Recruited under the ******* brother rule.
Justin Davies - Attempted to escape mid-season but only made it as far as Shepparton before he was caught.
Andrew Eccles - Traded for Kris Massie. Game, set, match : Adelaide.
Brendan Fevola - Very reliable, strong character. Carlton plan to build a team around him.
Brad Fisher - Promising forward with bright future if he doesn't get trampled by Lance.
Simon Fletcher - Hopes to finish his career back with Geelong Reserves if his form lifts.
Anthony Franchina - Back in the ones. He hasn't improved, everyone else has got worse.
Scott Freeborn - Supposed to be de-listed in 2001 but the paperwork got lost.
Barnaby French - Great catching skills, could end up in the Bangladeshi slip cordon.
Adrian Hickmott - So much happier now.
Ryan Houlihan - One of Carlton's toughest, now doesn't that say something.
Darren Hulme - Unhappy and uncontracted.
Anthony Koutoufides - His knee is as pretty as his wife.
Matthew Lappin - Hates Pagan Loves Beer
Luke Livingston - Will inherit Mick Martyn's position, as League's most unskilled player.
The Mighty M's - Manton, Martyn, Mathews, McKernan, Merrington, Murphy and McKenzie - All to be de-listed.
Andrew McKay - In career best form or is it just an illusion? Check the meaning of contrast to find the answer.
Karl Norman - Like the flowering hibiscus he was born, flourished and faded all in a single day.
Jim Plunkett - 'Jim Plunkett', one of the great names in NFL, not so great in the AFL.
Ian Prendergast - Great aerobic capacity which will come in handy chasing opponents over the next few years.
Brett Ratten - See Adrian Hickmott.
Kade Simpson - "I think I may have over estimated this Simpson fellow" - Montgomery C. Burns, Dental Plan episode.
Trent Sporn - They say he's great, I say how do you know?
Bret Thornton - I'm confused, who's better him or Wiggins.
Simon Wiggins - I'm confused, who's better him or Thornton.
Jarrad Waite - Courageous lad. Has had to overcome the personal tragedy of playing for Carlton.
Lance Whitnall - Carlton fans love him and there'll be more of him to love in 2004.
Laurence Angwin - My client pleads not guilty Your Honour.
Tom Hedge - Who!!
Jon McCormick - Good young lad, should get out while he can.
Sean O'Keefe - Has done enough to get de-listed and re-drafted again.
Michael Stinear - No idea who he is but he must still be a chance to win the Carlton B&F this year.
The last laugh may be on us if Brittain entices any of them over to Tigerland...............
