Roast Grumpy Old Thread- 10k posts of whinging

[Twinkletoes]

Had a massive verbal stoush (one way mind you) with an Indian Aussie Farmers Direct driver, who does our local area twice weekly, tonight. The prick virtually drives on two wheels as he takes the backstreet corners at high speed, usually while chatting on his phone to his homeland. Tonight was the third time the prick has come VERY close to mowing me down on my bike as he turns blind at high speed around corners, and this one was by far the closest call with me hurtling down a steep hill on a wet road and about 100m from a T-intersection, causing me o fishtail to a stop with his front bumper within a foot. I suspect he'll seek a move back home for fear of his own life after the spray I delivered. F*** it was a close call.

 

[chugginon]

Had a massive verbal stoush (one way mind you) with an Indian Aussie Farmers Direct driver, who does our local area twice weekly, tonight. The prick virtually drives on two wheels as he takes the backstreet corners at high speed, usually while chatting on his phone to his homeland. Tonight was the third time the prick has come VERY close to mowing me down on my bike as he turns blind at high speed around corners, and this one was by far the closest call with me hurtling down a steep hill on a wet road and about 100m from a T-intersection, causing me o fishtail to a stop with his front bumper within a foot. I suspect he'll seek a move back home for fear of his own life after the spray I delivered. F*** it was a close call.

Gee whiz..... glad you are ok . ......

 

[Jimmy's Hot Dogs]

Had a massive verbal stoush (one way mind you) with an Indian Aussie Farmers Direct driver, who does our local area twice weekly, tonight. The prick virtually drives on two wheels as he takes the backstreet corners at high speed, usually while chatting on his phone to his homeland. Tonight was the third time the prick has come VERY close to mowing me down on my bike as he turns blind at high speed around corners, and this one was by far the closest call with me hurtling down a steep hill on a wet road and about 100m from a T-intersection, causing me o fishtail to a stop with his front bumper within a foot. I suspect he'll seek a move back home for fear of his own life after the spray I delivered. F*** it was a close call.

Sees image of the Bard on the phone to Majak.

 

[Gasometer]

Had a massive verbal stoush (one way mind you) with an Indian Aussie Farmers Direct driver, who does our local area twice weekly, tonight. The prick virtually drives on two wheels as he takes the backstreet corners at high speed, usually while chatting on his phone to his homeland. Tonight was the third time the prick has come VERY close to mowing me down on my bike as he turns blind at high speed around corners, and this one was by far the closest call with me hurtling down a steep hill on a wet road and about 100m from a T-intersection, causing me o fishtail to a stop with his front bumper within a foot. I suspect he'll seek a move back home for fear of his own life after the spray I delivered. F*** it was a close call.

What about high beamers at this time of the year....I am talking Utes with headlights plus floodlights on high beam on a straight road of 5kms in length.

 

[koshari]

What about high beamers at this time of the year....I am talking Utes with headlights plus floodlights on high beam on a straight road of 5kms in length.

Was beginning to think i was in the wrong thread and you were talking about Jennifer Aniston style high beamers.....

then i saw the thread title and it was obvious you ware talkin about headlights :-(

 

[Twinkletoes]

Gee whiz..... glad you are ok . ......

Yeah, nothing wrong with me Chugga, but I did hold my breath as I fishtailed headlong with wheels locked at the turd in the speeding truck.

Sees image of the Bard on the phone to Majak.

That's a bloody good likeness actually except I didn't stop for ten minutes, with the eyes bulging and forehead veins popping out of my bonce as I did so.

It only ended when this meek voice replied "so sorry mate, I promise I'll slow down in future", followed by a threat that he'd better do so or make sure he kills me next time as I'll certainly kill him if still mobile.

What about high beamers at this time of the year....I am talking Utes with headlights plus floodlights on high beam on a straight road of 5kms in length.

The only high beamers I see late at night are shitbox cars with lights that don't work unless the high beamers are on. But, being the heartland of Canyonero Country around these parts, the low beams with HID and LED lights are blinding enough.

 

[Gasometer]

Yeah, nothing wrong with me Chugga, but I did hold my breath as I fishtailed headlong with wheels locked at the turd in the speeding truck.



That's a bloody good likeness actually except I didn't stop for ten minutes, with the eyes bulging and forehead veins popping out of my bonce as I did so.

It only ended when this meek voice replied "so sorry mate, I promise I'll slow down in future", followed by a threat that he'd better do so or make sure he kills me next time as I'll certainly kill him if still mobile.



The only high beamers I see late at night are shitbox cars with lights that don't work unless the high beamers are on. But, being the heartland of Canyanero Country around these parts, the low beams with HID and LED lights are blinding enough.

Yeh i am talking about floodlights that shine for 10km and arent turned off.

They can see me.

They just being pricks.

Blinding that the only option is to stop.

 

[Groin guru]

There needs to be more awareness about drivers watching out for cyclists when opening there doors. Last night coming home from work a car was parked and his door was slightly ajar. I thought "good, he's seen me and is waiting for me to cycle past" then at the last minute his door flys open. There was a car just behind me in the next lane. Half a second too late and i go flying into a door or if the car next to me is a bit faster i end up underneath it as i swerve to miss the door.

 

[Groin guru]

Find myself at a work function and some ******* hole called Bounce. Trampolines and ******* 15 yeats old boys piffing dodgeballs at my head. Now we're off to ******* Chadstone food court for dinner. Better see a mod meeting there or I'll go ******* postal

We did that last year for a work function. I was very apprehensive because a lady at work went with friends a few months back and ****ed up her knee. Dodgeball was great. Nothing feels better than destroying co-workers with balls - legally. I was suprisingly ****ed (didn't think it'd be so tiring) but i pushed through the pain barrier just so that i could hurl more balls at faces. I got one of the admin girls in the privates and she just gave me a look of "you ****head, it's a game"...it wasn't a game when she ****ed up my pay a few months prior and made me wait an extra fortnight. Also, take no prisoners. I got a co-worker in the head about 6 times. I don't like him and he got the hint after i aimed for him at the start of every game. He's a richmond supporter and he ruined the 'walking dead' for me a while back = fair.

Everything else after that was shit though. I saw the young workers doing flips and it got my competitive juices flowing. I thought id give it a go so i jumped on one of the angled ones and instead of flipping i kneed myself in the head and hit the deck. Then the next day my knees and elbows were covered in burn marks from skidding across the trampolines.

Upon reflection it would be shit if you went with people you didn't have it in for. Suprised they have so many locations.

 

[koshari]

We did that last year for a work function. I was very apprehensive because a lady at work went with friends a few months back and ****** up her knee. Dodgeball was great. Nothing feels better than destroying co-workers with balls - legally. I was suprisingly ****** (didn't think it'd be so tiring) but i pushed through the pain barrier just so that i could hurl more balls at faces. I got one of the admin girls in the privates and she just gave me a look of "you ****head, it's a game"...it wasn't a game when she ****** up my pay a few months prior and made me wait an extra fortnight. Also, take no prisoners. I got a co-worker in the head about 6 times. I don't like him and he got the hint after i aimed for him at the start of every game. He's a richmond supporter and he ruined the 'walking dead' for me a while back = fair.

Everything else after that was shit though. I saw the young workers doing flips and it got my competitive juices flowing. I thought id give it a go so i jumped on one of the angled ones and instead of flipping i kneed myself in the head and hit the deck. Then the next day my knees and elbows were covered in burn marks from skidding across the trampolines.

Upon reflection it would be shit if you went with people you didn't have it in for. Suprised they have so many locations.

Note to oneself. Dont get a job where gg works.

 

[Bigeasy]

Yeh i am talking about floodlights that shine for 10km and arent turned off.

They can see me.

They just being pricks.

Blinding that the only option is to stop.

My car has auto high beams. They are cool.

 

[Gasometer]

I anticipate another round of car v cyclists BF arguments coming..

 

[Gasometer]

My car has auto high beams. They are cool.

Yeh so?

Unless you have four floodlights on top of your roof i don't care.

 

[Only Forwards]

What about high beamers at this time of the year....I am talking Utes with headlights plus floodlights on high beam on a straight road of 5kms in length.

People who incorrectly use their lights give me the shits.

Especially in suburban areas. WTF do you even need fog lamps? Just because the sun has gone down doesn't mean you need every light on your vehicle on. Especially when you're driving down well lit streets. Regular headlights are fine you f***wits.

 

[Only Forwards]

We did that last year for a work function. I was very apprehensive because a lady at work went with friends a few months back and ****** up her knee. Dodgeball was great. Nothing feels better than destroying co-workers with balls - legally. I was suprisingly ****** (didn't think it'd be so tiring) but i pushed through the pain barrier just so that i could hurl more balls at faces. I got one of the admin girls in the privates and she just gave me a look of "you ****head, it's a game"...it wasn't a game when she ****** up my pay a few months prior and made me wait an extra fortnight. Also, take no prisoners. I got a co-worker in the head about 6 times. I don't like him and he got the hint after i aimed for him at the start of every game. He's a richmond supporter and he ruined the 'walking dead' for me a while back = fair.

Everything else after that was shit though. I saw the young workers doing flips and it got my competitive juices flowing. I thought id give it a go so i jumped on one of the angled ones and instead of flipping i kneed myself in the head and hit the deck. Then the next day my knees and elbows were covered in burn marks from skidding across the trampolines.

Upon reflection it would be shit if you went with people you didn't have it in for. Suprised they have so many locations.

This is a superb post.

 

[Gasometer]

People who incorrectly use their lights give me the shits.

Especially in suburban areas. WTF do you even need fog lamps? Just because the sun has gone down doesn't mean you need every light on your vehicle on. Especially when you're driving down well lit streets. Regular headlights are fine you f***wits.

Fog lights look kewl.

 

[Bigeasy]

Yeh so?

Unless you have four floodlights on top of your roof i don't care.

Im not a red neck

 

[Groin guru]

Note to oneself. Dont get a job where gg works.

I didn't know they had dodgeball. I just thought we'd be jumping around like kids (I'll admit doing a flip and landing in foam was pretty fun). The social clubs fault. Normally these things dissolve after 1 event but the higher ups are big on team building. At the start of the year we went 10 pin bowling. I've done it a few times but not for a while. Winner got $200 worth of woolies gift cards. I went down the sunday before and booked in an hour of coaching. I thought it would give me the edge. Turns out a co-worker plays in a league every tuesday night and has done for over 10 years. w***er bowled 200+, had a glove and his own ball...

Worst of all my partner told a co-workers wife that i practiced a week before now it's a running joke at work. "Social club coming up this week groin. How much practice had you had...lol" bunch of nerds. I won't forget if we go to bounce again.

 

[Twinkletoes]

Upon reflection it would be shit if you went with people you didn't have it in for.

Yeah, that reminds me of the time a few of us Inner Scrotes went paintballing with the North players in Port Melbourne. There was no way I was going to blast a North player in the face at point blank range, rendering him blind and incapable of playing well for North, so all aggression was turned toward my fellow scrotes OR, very seldom, towards a North player who'd picked me off and left me with a bruise on my fingers/hands/ or neck as retribution.

That was the day they called a free for all elimination contest to finish and the final two combatants standing were Car Keys and Daniel Pratt who, despite warnings not to do so due to safety concerns, walked headlong at each other until they could reach out and touch, blasting the other with paintballs to the head and body throughout.

Both bloody nutters!

 

[Groin guru]

Yeah, that reminds me of the time a few of us Inner Scrotes went paintballing with the North players in Port Melbourne. There was no way I was going to blast a North player in the face at point blank range, rendering him blind and incapable of playing well for North, so all aggression was turned toward my fellow scrotes OR, very seldom, towards a North player who'd picked me off and left me with a bruise on my fingers/hands/ or neck as retribution.

That was the day they called a free for all elimination contest to finish and the final two combatants standing were Car Keys and Daniel Pratt who, despite warnings not to do so due to safety concerns, walked headlong at each other until they could reach out and touch, blasting the other with paintballs to the head and body throughout.

Both bloody nutters!

Crazy bastards! Stuff that! Belted from head to toe. Pratt was probably laughing too.

Reminds me of the 'dirty sanchez' show when they tricked the main guy into taking 100+ shots from close range so that he could win a world record. He was so excited he called home and told his mum. Turned out it wasn't a record. He was black, blue, and red all over.

I got hit once in the waist and thought **** this I'm out of here. Ran around the corner and into a mate who was on the other team. Forgot about the 10 metre rule and unloaded 5 shots into him at close range as i panicked (only in the mid-section). Kill or be killed. Banned for the rest of the day and couldn't have been happier.

 

[Groin guru]

I anticipate another round of car v cyclists BF arguments coming..

Good. It'd be a non-issue if drivers didn't pretend like they rule the road and watched when opening car doors. I only ride in a single so it's not like I'm taking up an entire lane and i only ride during non-peak times. Time to share the road, people like to be active.

 

[Twinkletoes]

I got hit once in the waist and thought **** this I'm out of here.

On the day I raised Hank McIntosh did that. Hit once, chucked a tanty, and tossed in the towel while the rest of us shot shit out of each other for the ensuing hour or so.

 

[KiwiRoo]

. I got one of the admin girls in the privates and she just gave me a look of "you ****head, it's a game"...it wasn't a game when she ****** up my pay a few months prior and made me wait an extra fortnight. .

well you are the groin guru !

 

[thedolphin]

We did that last year for a work function. I was very apprehensive because a lady at work went with friends a few months back and ****** up her knee. Dodgeball was great. Nothing feels better than destroying co-workers with balls - legally. I was suprisingly ****** (didn't think it'd be so tiring) but i pushed through the pain barrier just so that i could hurl more balls at faces. I got one of the admin girls in the privates and she just gave me a look of "you ****head, it's a game"...it wasn't a game when she ****** up my pay a few months prior and made me wait an extra fortnight. Also, take no prisoners. I got a co-worker in the head about 6 times. I don't like him and he got the hint after i aimed for him at the start of every game. He's a richmond supporter and he ruined the 'walking dead' for me a while back = fair.

If I was there with mates dodgeball violence would not only be expected, it'd be a ****ing non-negotiable requirement. However when some uppity pubescent **** who look like a tall Sam McClure who you've never met before takes a ****ing cheap shot 2 feet from your face whilst you are being a good sport and walking along the edge after going out and smashes your 3 week old glasses beyond repair all over the area next to the trampolines, and the closest you get to an apology or compensation is "I didn't mean it", you tend to question why the **** you submitted yourself to an evening of public disrespect when it's readily available in the sanctuary of your own home.

Upon reflection it would be shit if you went with people you didn't have it in for. Suprised they have so many locations.

I love my job yet despise most people I work with. This episode reiterated why I go to the Christmas Lunch for free beer then **** off for 12 months until the next one. I made an exception for this one to keep a staff member I don't want to lose happy, but **** that, **** bounce and **** dodgeball if adults are going to prevent me from pummeling the child culprit. And **** off Sandra, your "well you shouldn't of worn your glasses" repeated 5 times after the fact doesn't help anyone, and gives a clear ****ing insight to why every time I walk past your office you're droning on to another poor sap about why your daughter doesn't call around much. And you wonder why I wait until you lot clear the tea room and are back facebooking before I heat my lunch.

Decent burger at Chaddy food-court though. But unless the mods are a bunch of 19 year old Asian girls taking selfies instead of hurrying the **** up and ordering a burger they're barely taking 3 bites of, I have no Mod Meeting Intel.

 

[thedolphin]

Where the **** do you work?

Kindergarten