Sorry about that but it didn't come across like that in the original post. While you mentioned you met him a couple of months ago, you never said you have been flirting with each other on a regular basis. I took it that you just spoke a couple of times. I learnt a long time ago not to trust men until I knew them very well and I'm still of the same opinion, even though I have a wonderful husband. Good men are not that easy to come but the same can also be said for good women. You sound very hurt by it and I have been in the same position, so the only advice I can give you is not to get involved too emotionally before you know someone well. I would probably have asked him why he waited so long to tell me.
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Guys and dating
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Sorry about that but it didn't come across like that in the original post. While you mentioned you met him a couple of months ago, you never said you have been flirting with each other on a regular basis. I took it that you just spoke a couple of times. I learnt a long time ago not to trust men until I knew them very well and I'm still of the same opinion, even though I have a wonderful husband. Good men are not that easy to come but the same can also be said for good women. You sound very hurt by it and I have been in the same position, so the only advice I can give you is not to get involved too emotionally before you know someone well. I would probably have asked him why he waited so long to tell me.
Umm okay. Did you ever think that maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend at all. Maybe it's just his way of saying he doesn't want to get involved. Some guys and girls do that because they find it easier than telling someone they don't want to go out with them. Surely if he was serious then it would have happened before now. No one can be THAT shy!
If he started an affair with you and lead you to believe he was single I could understand your point, but he didn't. He gave you his number and flirted with you. If I took notice of all the females that flirted with my partner I'd be a jealous wreck. It's flirting that's all. I do it all the time. It's harmless. It means nothing.
But if it really upsets you then ask him why he did it.
LOL We aren't all like that.
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The smartest thing anyone has said in this thread.
Females and males try to generalise. They do it too much, and they try and make it like a war between the two sexes, and point out all the bad stuff, then exaggerate it. What does that do? It plants the seed into your brain that it'll happen every time, and when it does happen, you continue to whinge.
I've been cheated on and lied to and hurt, etc. I reckon 85% of males are pricks who wanna use females. But I haven't seen any evidence that it doesn't go the other way. Guys just don't sook about it as much, and try to get on with life.
Also, girls bring it upon themselves. I know so many girls who fall for guys, and are so blind and stupid, and they can't see the flaws which will break their heart. They don't see the things I can see a mile away, and just fall into a trap and then complain when they get hurt. It's a shame, but if people use forsight into what they are trying to get into, then people wouldn't be hurt as much.
By the way Sly, all this advice and tactics, yet you are single.
The Hitman
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Originally posted by sapaul
Did I at least sound half interesting in the chatroom last week?
sprry sapaul wrong state
And The Hitman's loveline is now open. Brett will take your calls on 1-800-IMASNAG. Now, here's Celine Dion ...
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Geeze I'd hate to see how good this galloper is going to be in the Spring carnival, prices are getting slashed for a Cup's double and theres talk of tackling the World's best at Dubai early next year.
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Yeah I considered that, but I think you'd have to have been there through all this to realise it's fairly unlikely.
Anyway, I'm glad I started some discussion about all this, because it has given me some insight into the dating game (believe it or not!). I really just wanted to know if a lot of guys string you along for a while before telling you they've got a girlfriend (and don't get me wrong, I'm glad I found out before anything serious happened!)
And tomorrow I'm supposed to be going out with some guy I met on Saturday night, so I obviously bounced back fairly quickly! Easy come, easy go!
Yeah, but when will the owners put me out to stud, dammit?!Originally posted by Pieman7
Geeze I'd hate to see how good this galloper is going to be in the Spring carnival, prices are getting slashed for a Cup's double and theres talk of tackling the World's best at Dubai early next year.
We all know you're a gelding.
Half volley, deserved to be smacked to the boundary, and it was.
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So many bitter women out there today...bitterness and negativity... know the fastest way to get a guy to lose interest in you? Just say that, "All men are bastards" or something along those lines! It's like saying that all women are bitches! Its generalising, and more often than not its usually the other way around! I know a girl who is living with one guy, screwing an ex, and screwing a new boy. And i know another girl who has deliberately chased a married man because he "is hot". Not good enough girls, no one is perfect, and someone once said to me, "All men are bastards, its just the level of bastardry that you're willing to put up with". Also unfair. We all have our bad points, and we all have to compromise, although sharing a sexual partner with their girlfriend or being stuffed around like that isnt something that appeals to me either. What i am saying is, you have that negative outlook, you will attract those sorts of people... start thinking more highly of yourself, it'll emit, and those sorts of people wont approach you because they'll know that you're not that type. The flirtier you are, the more sleazebags you're going to attract, its unfortunate but true. But for every 5 of those sleazebags, there is a nice guy.. only i bet he doesnt get a second glance.
You are a stud?
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The whole pub scene is a whole different ballgame. IF we are talking about actually taking a serious interest in them, playing "the" game is not acceptable. HOWEVER, if we're talking about chatting someone up at a pub games are played on both sides - its a mutual abuse of other.
You want someone who is his own man, an individual, but insist on him being the one to 'make the effort' to get the relationship started. But not too much! Or he's too clingly. Oh, why won't he call? Oh, why does he call all the time?
You misinterpret my writings - I've never insisted a guy be the "one" to make the effort - I merely stated that in asertaining how genuine a guy is in his interest - you must give him the opportunity to take a stance on the situation - that stance being "making and effort" to contact you. A guy contacting you is not exclusive to the "needy" ones.
So men change. Why? Because they want sex. What do they change into? They try to be what women want them to be. Why? Because they want to have sex with the women..
I'm not the best one to answer this b/c I want my men to be men and I have never illuded otherwise (and if I have that was unintential)
The short answer - as I've said before - is that women haven't got a clue what they want.
Its not straight down the line "equality" we are after, however females would like to be treated with respect. Respect shown for who we are, for our contributions, for supporting men over thousands of years whilst they receive all the accolades.
Here's a qn for you - does it annoy you that you're expected to mow the lawns, take the garbage out, be the one to do all the "manual" (pls note the intended use of quotation marks) etc etc? Because it should, just as a "womans" role is expected of us. I can mow my own lawns, I can change my own oil and I have no expectations that anyone else should do it for me -( sure its nice to have a guy offer to do it for me - but thats more a sign of "humanity" to me.) . However, to have a male boss EXPECT me to make coffee, or file or go buy his lunch - when there are males equally apt at doing the tasks but are never asked - furiates me and other like minded females.
The out and out calling of all men being assholes is just as unjustifiable as men saying "women" dont know what we want. I have had healthy relationships with men old and young my entire life, men who I respect and look up to. Sheeeesh - I even prefer male friends to female ones in general.
Could argue for hours but I'm hungry and have no man at home to cook for me
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Heh, good call. I feel like saying "need help with the suitcases on the way out?", when they come up with that. But I usually end up with "I'll accept that if you agree that all women are bitches".
Had a woman who came out with the old faithful line on the first date. Obviously it was going nowhere after hearing in detail what her ex did to her.
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Originally posted by Sly77
Could argue for hours but I'm hungry and have no man at home to cook for me
Dan already cheating on you?
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I don't understand women . . .
Though, I am interested in some female perspective of a recent scenario with me and a girl at work... We'd often chat and seemed to get along well, and although I'm usually pretty naive about these things, I could tell that it was more than just friendly chatting (I was flirting and she was flirting). After a couple of months, I decided I'd ask her out, though I was too shy to ask her at work, so I rang her at work one time when I had the day off, and asked whether she liked to go out sometime, get to know each other better . . .
She said thanks but she had a boyfriend, OK that's cool, I thought. But, ever since then she's totally snubbed me. Everytime I see her, all she ever says hi and then makes it known she doesn't want to speak further. I heard that she no longer goes out with the guy she used to go out with, I'm just baffled as to why she seemingly hates me nowdays
When she said no, I was fine and just hoped that we could still be friends, but for some reason she doesn't want to have anything to do with me nowdays.
I don't understand!
Though, I am interested in some female perspective of a recent scenario with me and a girl at work... We'd often chat and seemed to get along well, and although I'm usually pretty naive about these things, I could tell that it was more than just friendly chatting (I was flirting and she was flirting). After a couple of months, I decided I'd ask her out, though I was too shy to ask her at work, so I rang her at work one time when I had the day off, and asked whether she liked to go out sometime, get to know each other better . . .
She said thanks but she had a boyfriend, OK that's cool, I thought. But, ever since then she's totally snubbed me. Everytime I see her, all she ever says hi and then makes it known she doesn't want to speak further. I heard that she no longer goes out with the guy she used to go out with, I'm just baffled as to why she seemingly hates me nowdays
When she said no, I was fine and just hoped that we could still be friends, but for some reason she doesn't want to have anything to do with me nowdays.
I don't understand!
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Ever considered that men like the companionship and friendship side of it as well? If it were about non-stop sex, we'd all be dead by 35.
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Originally posted by Sydneyfan
I don't understand women . . .
Though, I am interested in some female prospective of a recent scenario with me and a girl at work... We'd often chat and seemed to get along well, and although I'm usually pretty naive about these things, I could tell that it was more than just friendly chatting (I was flirting and she was flirting). After a couple of months, I decided I'd ask her out, though I was too shy to ask her at work, so I rang her at work one time when I had the day off, and asked whether she liked to go out sometime, get to know each other better . . .
She said thanks but she had a boyfriend, OK that's cool, I thought. But, ever since then she's totally snubbed me. Everytime I see her, all she ever says hi and then makes it known she doesn't want to speak further. I heard that she no longer goes out with the guy she used to go out with, I'm just baffled as to why she seemingly hates me nowdays
When she said no, I was fine and just hoped that we could still be friends, but for some reason she doesn't want to have anything to do with me nowdays.
I don't understand!
The problem is that too many people like the CHASE! Once you've caught them, you lose interest (that's from my limited experience anyway, and both of our stories seem to prove it)
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Originally posted by The Hitman
By the way Sly, all this advice and tactics, yet you are single.
The Hitman
Single by CHOICE my friend. I could quite realistically have been married for 3 years and sprouted off a child or two by now. Just because I'm single doesnt mean I have no experience my boy
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Some people are game players and some people aren't. The disadvantage with being a non-player is that players will try to take advantage when you lay your cards on the table. On the other hand, if you just go about your business, you will soon come across your non-playing match.
I am a good example of this. I hate girls who play games. A little bit is okay, but doing the 'hard to get' routine from page 62 of Cosmo annoys me. The message I get from this is that they will probably continue playing games throughout the relationship.
Now, a honest snag like me has the decency to tell girls pretty much straight away that I am after sex with no strings attached. You would be surprised at how many girls respond to this. And, after all these years, I have only had the one complaint/psycho bitch who tried to run me over.
Originally posted by Sydneyfan
When she said no, I was fine and just hoped that we could still be friends, but for some reason she doesn't want to have anything to do with me nowdays. I don't understand!
Neither do I! Maybe you read her wrong in the first place? I've had male friends who I have good fun with and some people could think it's flirting, but it isn't. It's easy to read the signals wrong, especially if it's you that had the feelings for her.
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Originally posted by Docker_Brat
Ever considered that men like the companionship and friendship side of it as well? If it were about non-stop sex, we'd all be dead by 35.
Errrrrrrrrrr Docker Brat - that was DCFC's quote - not mine.
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