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Family & Relationships Heartbreak

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SA you dun goof'd. You've made a horrible decision, lettuce be reality.
 
Dunno, you make it sound like it was a great thing you had going. Maybe, if you were already in the mindset that it was going to end, it wouldn't have hurt to have tried long distance anyway? 4 hours really isn't that much when you think about it.
 
nicky said:
Are you sure you made the right decision?
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edgie said:
Dunno, you make it sound like it was a great thing you had going. Maybe, if you were already in the mindset that it was going to end, it wouldn't have hurt to have tried long distance anyway? 4 hours really isn't that much when you think about it.
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wtf people this man doesn't need no extra doubt yo. Silent you is making the right decision. **** that long distance bullshit, yall will just end up resenting one another. You will see her again though, maybe you will get a chance to reignite, maybe she'll be married, maybe you'll be married but I assure you that shit is gonna happen.
 

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Mate, I dont want you to doubt your decision but I will put in my two cents.

You make it sound like you have a really good thing going. To be fair, 4 hours is not that far at all. Some things are worth the difficulty. Good on you for doing what you think is the best thing for both of you, that definatly takes alot of courage. Having said that if you both wanted to make it work I think you definatly could considering its only 4 hours
 
Yep, sent her a message last night. I'm going to her house this morning before I leave. I think we'll patch things up well. I just made an irrational decision. Here's hoping it goes well....
 
yeah 4 hours is a tricky distance, probably not quite far enough to call it off, but still a long way to go every weekend

good luck with whatever you choose

also, just a question, would she consider moving away to be with you?
 
Silent Alarm said:
Yep, sent her a message last night. I'm going to her house this morning before I leave. I think we'll patch things up well. I just made an irrational decision. Here's hoping it goes well....
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Good luck mate, give it a crack, im sure you can make it work. At least you will never be left wondering what could have been. Let us know how it goes.
 
I've had a couple of LDR's and they were absolute shit. Could not recommend at all.

That said, they were all much further than 4 hours away. That's not stupidly far, just inconvenient really. Give it a crack IMO.
 
The first breakup is hard.l know my first breakup was really tough l did'nt really see it comming,well at the time l didnt.Really strange time around the break up her dad died few months before.Both her sisters r/ships broke up aswell then us.took awhile to get over.

There was another breakup.What kinda made it hard the girl had a kid which l liked very much and me and kid got on really well,so that was hard.but l got over the girl quiet fast and started seeing new girls.
 
A 4 hour flight is much harder and longer than a 4 hour drive. By the time you've effed around the airport at either end and get to/from your homes its easy a 6 hour trip...
 
I would not be a teenager again for anything !!!!

For what it is worth, when I started a relationship with my now wife. She lived in Bunbury, (only on a 1 year contract to be honest) and I lived in Kardinya. I know that is a fair bit closer than Albany, but we enjoyed the time away from each other and then really enjoyed the time together. The coach services between the SW and Perth are pretty good meaning visits are not too difficult.

My daughter lives in Kansas with her fiance and studies at WSU. She is looking into doing her honours next year and will probably have to move out of the state to another college. She said that she will move wherever she needs to to get her career going and while she will miss him. She believes the time apart will not be such a bad thing.

Long distance relationships can work, especially with modern communication methods.

One does need to think things through in life and you are clearly somebody that analyses everything which is a good thing. But over analysis can be harmful too.

Sometimes we just have to suck it and see :thumbsu:

Good luck.
 

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i cannot stress the importance of skype sex sessions in a long distance relationship. use every modern convenience you can
 
Good luck. Sounds like you're doing it in a mature manner. However, I would certainly advise against breaking up with someone because of what 'might' happen. Especially if you love them a lot.

I was in a similar position in my early 20s. We were very close for nearly 18 months. We were both from Boston and lived in that area.

Long story short, I changed schools and went down to California for a job opportunity. It's pretty much on the other side of the country. We thought we could make it work, but after a couple of weeks we just grew used to life without each other. We still talked every night. Skyped, MySpaced, all that. When I went back over the Summer holidays though, it just wasn't the same. We lost something. We both acknowledged that what we had was passed us, and split. Sad, but understanding.

I've since graduated and moved to Australia. Still keep in touch with him.

With that said, I know plenty of people that have long distance relationships and are incredibly successful. Some people can just be apart from each other and not lose the spark. Others can't. But I wouldn't break-up with someone without knowing which type of person you are.
 
Silent Alarm said:
Yep, sent her a message last night. I'm going to her house this morning before I leave. I think we'll patch things up well. I just made an irrational decision. Here's hoping it goes well....
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Hope it turns out well. But if I know women, what you did last night may have changed something within her towards you.

Her doubts about you and your r'ship may begin then linger, this doubt could turn into trust issues, trust issues into resentment, resentment into lack of respect....and somewhere along the way the initial spark, perhaps within her for you, may have died.

But like JimDocker said, if you over-analyse things, you begin to lose perspective, although what I have just written is an over-analysis of what could happen.

Here's hoping for the best :thumbsu:
 
I went to her house today and kind of took it all back. The word that seems fitting is 'content'. I'm back to being confident and excited about uni, rather than scared and angst-ridden.

She's moving up next year. But I'm moving to Melbourne next year, whilst she will be in Perth. And there's really no way I could see that kind of relationship working.

Certainly a weird time. It's nice to be back with her, but I feel this relationship might run it's course this year. At least we gave it a go. And I'm not willing to give it up now.
 

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Silent Alarm said:
Certainly a weird time. It's nice to be back with her, but I feel this relationship might run it's course this year. At least we gave it a go. And I'm not willing to give it up now.
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Good to hear it's back on! Long distance relationships can work (my wife and I started out in different states, 13 years together, 8 married, 2 kids and still happily together), but I'd give one proviso on that.

If you don't think one of you will be willing to move to the other at some point (it doesn't have to be right away, but once both of you are finished travelling / studying) then I'd say the break up now is going to be easier then down the track.

I think the US is better in some respects for this, with so many states and people moving for college /university that moving states is not the big deal it is here. Admittedly from afar they don't seem to have the strong state attachment / parochialism Australia has.
 
I just got dumped by my missus a month ago....I kind of flipped out

- Have sent 900 text msgs to her since the breakup
- Made her 3 mix CD's of love songs
- Have rocked up at her work
- Her dads work
- Stalked her brother at his high school to get information
- Wrote a 30 page letter trying to win her back
- Sat in my car in 40 degree heat for 6 hours waiting for her to come out of her house (she refused to)
- Threatened to kill myself
- Threatened to kill her pet cat I bought for our one year anniversary
- Bought her an engagement ring
- Climbed through her window and waited until she got home and she called the police (got charged with harassment, trespassing and possessing a concealed weapon because I had a knife on me)

She still wont see me
 
cats81 said:
I just got dumped by my missus a month ago....I kind of flipped out

- Have sent 900 text msgs to her since the breakup
- Made her 3 mix CD's of love songs
- Have rocked up at her work
- Her dads work
- Stalked her brother at his high school to get information
- Wrote a 30 page letter trying to win her back
- Sat in my car in 40 degree heat for 6 hours waiting for her to come out of her house (she refused to)
- Threatened to kill myself
- Threatened to kill her pet cat I bought for our one year anniversary
- Bought her an engagement ring
- Climbed through her window and waited until she got home and she called the police (got charged with harassment, trespassing and possessing a concealed weapon because I had a knife on me)

She still wont see me
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And why aren't I surprised?
 

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