how do i fix this ****bag up?

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

At the moment i am fighting with just about everyone which is probably a good thing as i am cleaning up my msn list from people who i have never really liked anyway and changing my phone number to get rid of hangeroners that i am sick to death of.

Anywayz there is one hoe who i just can't get rid of as unfortunately i have to work with her. This girl is the female equivalent of the Freo dweeb that was on millionare who joins the footy shows long list of people they get on just to take the **** out of.

Anyway from day one of moving into the new department i had barely been there a minute and already she had the boss e-mail me to stop talking to the spunk who sits next to me. Now everyday its stop talking to him blah blah blah do i have to put up a dividing wall between you two to separate you two then the hoe tried to split us up by changing all our break times so we couldn't go together This girl wears a navy blue polkerdot suit to work...collot pants that are too short and show her pathetic elf boots and odd socks not to mention the fact she needs some make up, major hair straightening and contact lenses plus talks like shes got a **** in her mouth yet HOW on earth does she have such a high opinion of her presense around the place better still how does she even have a boyfriend

To cut a long story short how can i get this hoar off my back without killing her (like i almost did today as i leapt for my little fruit knife in my drawer and made stabbing motions at her) Do u think its better to smash her and lose my job, highlight what a social misfit she is even more? or simply just get better stats than her and make her look even more foolish than the whole place already thinks she is?

 

[Goo]

Buy her a vibrator!

 

[lioness]

Yeah you could smash her and lose your job and that would probably be fun (and if it was me who worked with her, sounds like I'd consider it too ) but that's going to have consequences for you like when you go for another job, so not really worth it coz she wins anyways.

I'd just work heaps hard and make her look pathetic, much more fun and nothing bad happens to you.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by lioness22
I'd just work heaps hard and make her look pathetic, much more fun and nothing bad happens to you.

True, already did this with one annoying little fly that started on the same day as me and i actually got promoted and she didn't so to see her face now looking DOWN on her hehe is quite fun. Just afraid i won't resist the temptation with this one as my tongue is quite loose 99% of the time!

 

[Goo]

-Fill her pencil drawer up with packing foam!

-Shave any cactii that reside on her desk!

-Glue the caps to her biros!

-Glue her knees together!

-point your fruit knife at her and mutter 'yer momma was a blowfiiiish!

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by Goo
-point your fruit knife at her and mutter 'yer momma was a blowfiiiish!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHA! or i could try the yr 8 german class period trick again...the old red ink on the chair 'accidental' spillage

Somehow though i dont think i will feel quite at ease until i tell this occa (that a word?) wot i think of her!

 

[Bee]

Steal her boyfriend!

 

[luthor]

Originally posted by Bee
Steal her boyfriend!

Doubtful remedy.

From your description of your adversary, it sounds like any male who was unfortunate enough to be her boyfriend wouldn't actually be worth stealing!

Better to find out who her boyfiend is and then forge a letter, from him to her, saying it's all over because he's fallen for a one-legged, Himalayan hunchback who shares his love of flying kites and collecting Butterflies.

 

[Bee]

Originally posted by luthor
Doubtful remedy.

From your description of your adversary, it sounds like any male who was unfortunate enough to be her boyfriend wouldn't actually be worth stealing!

Don't bet on it! Mental cases like her usually have the most sexiest and best looking men. Easy pickings, really!

 

[luthor]

Originally posted by Bee
Don't bet on it! Mental cases like her usually have the most sexiest and best looking men. Easy pickings, really!

Thanks for that.

No wonder my past gilfriends were all nut cases

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by Bee
Don't bet on it! Mental cases like her usually have the most sexiest and best looking men. Easy pickings, really!

Exactly! and the fatsos get all the good men who do everything for them!

Her boyfriend lives in Sydney though ha go figure, hes probably gettin his bit over there then not having to look at her pathetic face with her being in another state!

oooh did i mention she had a lisp so when she bVags aVout her Computer PVogVamer boyVfthrend it comes out like that

 

[Katthawk]

Cor blimey Spides you are vindictive !!

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
True, already did this with one annoying little fly that started on the same day as me and i actually got promoted and she didn't so to see her face now looking DOWN on her hehe is quite fun. Just afraid i won't resist the temptation with this one as my tongue is quite loose 99% of the time!

Well then you could always SAY things to her, away from everyone else, and make her snap and go sick at YOU, then you come out looking good and she looks more mental. Sometimes things like little comments and doing better than her can REALLY get to people, so it's worth thinking about.

I do also like the stealing her boyfriend idea, however let's be honest it's probably been done to her heaps of times before. Hmmmmmm is interesting about her boyfriend living in another state, you're probably right about him getting some on the side, maybe you should quietly mention that to her.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by Katthawk
Cor blimey Spides you are vindictive !!

it gets worse...

she told me she knows how to stuff the whole offices computer systems up in one hit, by putting a magnet on the computer apparently hmm might have to take a magnet in on monday and accidently drop it on her computer

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by lioness22
Well then you could always SAY things to her, away from everyone else, and make her snap and go sick at YOU, then you come out looking good and she looks more mental. Sometimes things like little comments and doing better than her can REALLY get to people, so it's worth thinking about.

I do also like the stealing her boyfriend idea, however let's be honest it's probably been done to her heaps of times before. Hmmmmmm is interesting about her boyfriend living in another state, you're probably right about him getting some on the side, maybe you should quietly mention that to her.

HAHA luv it!

since i was a little girl mum always told me how to handle bullies...catch them out on their own then they got no whitnesses and u can get away with it!

I should say that about her boyfriend she would go sick about that one!

Most pathetic thing about this girl is she tries to be a rebel like she reckons her parents kicked her outta home and that she is adopted and used to hang around druggoes etc etc. So today when she had guns n roses music on hold on one of her calls so i was like kool gimme their number so i can ring up and hear it and she rolled her eyes back sayin 'as if i havn't already heard enough of them when i was 16' im like wot dont u like metal eh? then she stops blinks like a donkey and says "more like jazz" pffft!

 

[Still Crowing]

Stink Palm her.

Failing that, try screwing with her head. Hide a tape recorder with voices on it, playing really softly. When she turns to you to say "do you hear that?", you reply "what are you talking about?".

Google a prank site. Start at no1, continue until she leaves or is removed. You are only limited by the size of your daring. Remember, only the meek get pinched!

Cheers,

Kasey

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Still Crowing

Failing that, try screwing with her head. Hide a tape recorder with voices on it, playing really softly. When she turns to you to say "do you hear that?", you reply "what are you talking about?".

YES!!!!!!! I love it. That's kinda what I meant, only more evil.

Maybe the voices could talk about her boyfriend or something else that will get to her.

 

[mantis]

Does she drive to work Spidey, if so, on one of your breaks when no one else is around, use a matchstick to let the air out of 2 of her tyres.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

lol actually she does often say she is losing her mind or feeling delerious so this would add to it!

haha dont think she does mantis seeing as the povo company insist on charging us almost more than our damn salary just to park under the building!

what i just cant get over with this little dilemma is the fact that i have come across such similar persons in just about every hmm wot do i call it...stage maybe, of my life. There was one in school like this, one at my tertiary course, then that freo guy on the footy show who was a replica and now this silly fool at work! They're like a plague. Kinda like the down syndrome family how they seem to have very similar characteristics its as if these people are somehow linked through their IQ's/social outcast type behaviour!

 

[myee8]

Take your keys and make a nice long scratch on the side of the car - preferably on the non-driver side so the chances of her noticing are longer!

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by myee8
Take your keys and make a nice long scratch on the side of the car - preferably on the non-driver side so the chances of her noticing are longer!

too weak and boring, need something that will confront her and something that she knows is coming from me so that she stops this ridiculous attitude towards me

 

[myee8]

Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
too weak and boring, need something that will confront her and something that she knows is coming from me so that she stops this ridiculous attitude towards me

Ok then:

Get a can of shaving cream and put it in the freezer for about a night. When you get it in the morning, cut it down the center about 5inches should do it, and about an inch wide. wait for a person you know is gonna be gone for a while. Then stick it in their desk/car/some nice enclosed space and with a couple hours it will expand and fill up!

Do you use lockers? Get a fake bloody tampon and put it in her locker.

Go to google.com and type in "prank sites", with the double commas included. There will be heaps of results.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by myee8
Ok then:

Get a can of shaving cream and put it in the freezer for about a night. When you get it in the morning, cut it down the center about 5inches should do it, and about an inch wide. wait for a person you know is gonna be gone for a while. Then stick it in their desk/car/some nice enclosed space and with a couple hours it will expand and fill up!

Do you use lockers? Get a fake bloody tampon and put it in her locker.

Go to google.com and type in "prank sites", with the double commas included. There will be heaps of results.

HAHAHHA

now u got me thinkin with this whole freezer thing. we got a filthy old fridge round somewhere that some ppl put their lunch in... need i say more ok i'll give u a clue...it puts 'rats' like this back in their place

 

[myee8]

This link is one of computer pranks. Check it out, you just have to download it and send it to a 'mate'.

 

[Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk]

Originally posted by myee8
This link is one of computer pranks. Check it out, you just have to download it and send it to a 'mate'.

my god perhaps Suzis post about internet pranks does actually have some merit