JoseMourinho
Not A Manager
Welcome to Jose's Cold Hard Tips! A tipping guide that isn't based on some crappy squiggle that shows where teams were when they won the flag or some tipping system based on beans and betting agencies.
This tipping system is based on pure gut, pure stupidity and sometimes just pure brilliance. There is no hocus pocus or whatever. This system will not guarantee that you will win any bets and will probably result you in going 0/9 at some points.
This tipping system may cost your whopper aswell. If you're into free food (like me
)
This is based on how I feel and how the teams I have watched play in the last few weeks.
Anyways lets start the show
Hawfs v Bitchmond
Jose's Tip - Hawfs
Margin - 48 points
They spanked Fremantle, Sydney (at their home) and Carlton. Bitchmond had a brave loss to Fremantle but they have no hope against bloody Hawks. Hawthorn's defence is immense and their rebound 50 leads to so many goals.
Richmond may start playing a zone under the Dimma but that does nothing to Hawthorn. They shepard players and critical parts of the zone and send the ball down the corridors.
Handbaggers v Lions
Jose's tip - Handbaggers
Tommy Hawkins is ******* Hungry but so is Brion the Lion. Brisbane have been disappointing and fall off massively in the 4th quarter. I expect Tomahawk to kick a bag and Motlop might 20 and 3.
#Brave v Dees
Jose's tip - Dees
I have ******* tipped #brave the last 3 weeks and all they give me is big fat donuts. Darcy Moore is a silver lining but Dees should easily win this. After 3 weeks, i've seen enough #brave won't make the finals.
Colas v Crows
Jose's Tip - Crows
Colas were non-existent against the Eagles and Hawks. Embarrassing. It will continue, Sydney's top 4 hopes will be ended by the Crows. No spear chucking dance will save the Colas.
Carlton v Norf
Jose's Tip - Norf
I wouldn't be ******* surprised if Norf decides to norf this one up but Carlton are equally as bad. Once Norf puts up a 3 goal lead on the Blues, the game is over. You'll never know with norf.
West Coke v Sold Coke
Jose's Tip - West Coke
If you tip Sold Coke, you are stupid and deserve to lose this tip (and your whopper). Sorry, I have to be hard on idiots who try to pick upsets. This won't be one of them. No Ablett, No Sold Coke.
Poort v Burnt Dwarf FC
Jose's Tip - St Kilda
This will be the upset of the round! Everybody thinks Port is back after narrowly beating Essendon. However, reality soon strikes at the Saints towel them up and end their finals chances. Longer, Weller and Membrey are players to look out for.
Jamestown v Dishlickers
Jose's Tip - Dishlickers
The dishlickers proved me wrong (or #brave proved that they are all about brave losses). Jamestown were horrid against a patchy Poort side. Dishlickers will win this with Tory Dickson kicking a bag, more if dusty is playing. You can't play Old folks against this small forward and James Hird will probably try it and get completely annihilated.
Purple NTTAWWTs v Giants
Jose's Tip - Purple NTTAWWTs
Considering GWS's last time in Perth, they were towelled up by a mediocre West Coast side (which were out of confidence). This won't be any different. They will get wrecked by 100+ and we'll have Basil or whatever going on about that GWS can't win in WA. Congratulations, you can pick out a pattern, Basil
.
NTTAWWTs have been patchy but that win against Richmond will have lit a spark.
This tipping system is based on pure gut, pure stupidity and sometimes just pure brilliance. There is no hocus pocus or whatever. This system will not guarantee that you will win any bets and will probably result you in going 0/9 at some points.
This tipping system may cost your whopper aswell. If you're into free food (like me
)This is based on how I feel and how the teams I have watched play in the last few weeks.
Anyways lets start the show
Hawfs v Bitchmond
Jose's Tip - Hawfs
Margin - 48 points
They spanked Fremantle, Sydney (at their home) and Carlton. Bitchmond had a brave loss to Fremantle but they have no hope against bloody Hawks. Hawthorn's defence is immense and their rebound 50 leads to so many goals.
Richmond may start playing a zone under the Dimma but that does nothing to Hawthorn. They shepard players and critical parts of the zone and send the ball down the corridors.
Handbaggers v Lions
Jose's tip - Handbaggers
Tommy Hawkins is ******* Hungry but so is Brion the Lion. Brisbane have been disappointing and fall off massively in the 4th quarter. I expect Tomahawk to kick a bag and Motlop might 20 and 3.
#Brave v Dees
Jose's tip - Dees
I have ******* tipped #brave the last 3 weeks and all they give me is big fat donuts. Darcy Moore is a silver lining but Dees should easily win this. After 3 weeks, i've seen enough #brave won't make the finals.
Colas v Crows
Jose's Tip - Crows
Colas were non-existent against the Eagles and Hawks. Embarrassing. It will continue, Sydney's top 4 hopes will be ended by the Crows. No spear chucking dance will save the Colas.
Carlton v Norf
Jose's Tip - Norf
I wouldn't be ******* surprised if Norf decides to norf this one up but Carlton are equally as bad. Once Norf puts up a 3 goal lead on the Blues, the game is over. You'll never know with norf.
West Coke v Sold Coke
Jose's Tip - West Coke
If you tip Sold Coke, you are stupid and deserve to lose this tip (and your whopper). Sorry, I have to be hard on idiots who try to pick upsets. This won't be one of them. No Ablett, No Sold Coke.
Poort v Burnt Dwarf FC
Jose's Tip - St Kilda
This will be the upset of the round! Everybody thinks Port is back after narrowly beating Essendon. However, reality soon strikes at the Saints towel them up and end their finals chances. Longer, Weller and Membrey are players to look out for.
Jamestown v Dishlickers
Jose's Tip - Dishlickers
The dishlickers proved me wrong (or #brave proved that they are all about brave losses). Jamestown were horrid against a patchy Poort side. Dishlickers will win this with Tory Dickson kicking a bag, more if dusty is playing. You can't play Old folks against this small forward and James Hird will probably try it and get completely annihilated.
Purple NTTAWWTs v Giants
Jose's Tip - Purple NTTAWWTs
Considering GWS's last time in Perth, they were towelled up by a mediocre West Coast side (which were out of confidence). This won't be any different. They will get wrecked by 100+ and we'll have Basil or whatever going on about that GWS can't win in WA. Congratulations, you can pick out a pattern, Basil
.NTTAWWTs have been patchy but that win against Richmond will have lit a spark.
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I liked that 
