Resource Mental Health

[Dramoth]

Hi guys,
As you know, I like to have a joke and be a bit of a sh*t stirer normally, but I didn’t know this thread existed, and credit to those who created it.

I’ve been a psychologist for over twenty years, in private practice, and I take mental health very seriously. I’m hoping I can contribute something to this really important thread, and maybe something I post can help someone, even in a small way.

Anxiety has been mentioned a few times here. Firstly, please understand anxiety is not a flaw. There’s nothing “wrong” with you if you feel anxiety. It is a vital part of our survival. Anxiety is what stops us taking another step if we’re on the edge of a cliff. Anxiety becomes problematic when it’s prolonged, and impacts our ability to function in everyday situations.
If you line up a thousand individuals who suffer with anxiety, it’s very possible each of those people will have their own very specific circumstances that have led to their anxiety.
However, there is one thing they will all have in common. UNCERTAINTY. Anxiety feasts on uncertainty. And uncertainty feasts on our anxiety. Our anxiety ignites our panic centre (the amygdala) and creates an “elaborate production” when it grips us. It’s lights and sirens, and car chases and alarms going off. But not words. Just the production. We’ve all heard the expression “fight or flight response”. This is quite literal. Our panic centre wants us to fight for our life, or run for our life. In order to ensure we limit ourselves to these two options, our amygdala starts to shut down the thinking, reasoning part of our brain. It does this to preserve energy, and prevent us from assessing any other options. In the majority of these cases, the “production” is significantly disproportionate to our reality.
Every person is different, and how they manage anxiety will depend on their unique circumstances, strengths, weaknesses, abilities, etc.
However there are a couple of things everyone can do to immediately address moments of anxiety.
1. Breath. I’m not saying meditate, or ground yourself (although these are great techniques for many people). What I’m referring to here is to find a breathing exercise that you can implement. There are a number of these, and you can choose one that works for you. I like the 3,4,7. Breathe in for the count of 3, hold for 4, out for 7. This does two things…
A) Regulating your breathing lets your mind know that you’re not in any physical danger.
B) The fact that you need to count, ignites the thinking part of your brain (frontal cortex), which has been “turned off” by our panic centre.

This won’t eliminate the anxiety, but it gives you the best opportunity to deal with it in the moment. You can now “translate”.

2. Translate: Now that you’ve brought a level of rationale, you can begin to translate. Ask yourself questions, and answer them. Don’t accept vague, generalisations as answers from yourself. Be specific.
“Why am I anxious right now?”
“Because of the crowd”
“What about the crowd?”
“There’s too many people”
“Can they hurt you?”
“No”
“Then what is it?”…

You do this until you can find a sharp point. You sharpen your answers until you find the real source of the anxiety. In the majority of cases, you’ll find the “production” is completely disproportionate to the sharp answer you’ve established. This will calm you. It will also leave you feeling “silly”, but that’s a good thing, because your mind will start to see your anxiety as “silly”, and therefore much less frightening and powerful.

3. Bring as much certainty into your moment as possible. Again, the anxiety and uncertainty feed off each other. So create certainty in any small way you can. Check the time, that’s certain. Look at a picture of a loved one, that’s certain. Any small thing that is unequivocal.

These techniques are not a magic “cure” to anxiety. And you should work with your mental health professional to understand the underlying cause of your anxiety. But they will help you remove some layers of anxiety in a moment. Consistency over time, and they become easier and easier to do. And they can make a significant difference to your immediate situation.

Again, these are just small, handy tips that can help in a moment. Not a magic cure. Please continue to work on managing your anxiety in ways that work for you.
Hope this helped, even a little.

As I said in my post, I went and saw my pshrink yesterday... a psychologist like your good self... she is currently working with me on mitigation strategies for the next year. Nothing is going to really change for me until after my mother passes because I have to care for the person who has been abusing me for the last 54 years. She is never going to change and as a result, I am still subject to mental and emotion abuse from her on a daily basis.

It's going to take a while for me to get over the deeply ingrained conditioning, but in the end... it will all be worthwhile I think.

 

[TENACIOUS]

Happy Fathers day to all the Dad's, Step Dad's, Uncles and Mum Dad's out there...

What a day today has been for me... Happiest I have been in years...
Love my wife and kids so much, they are what keep me wanting to keep going

Hope everyone else had an awesome day...

 

[Coona Blues]

Happy Fathers day to all the Dad's, Step Dad's, Uncles and Mum Dad's out there...

What a day today has been for me... Happiest I have been in years...
Love my wife and kids so much, they are what keep me wanting to keep going

Hope everyone else had an awesome day...

Second best Father’s Day ever my son was born on FD 32 years ago( has given 2 grandson’s), my eldest (daughter) this morning advised that she is expecting my first grand daughter in March. Combined with being spoilt by my 5yo daughter and her Mum, it has been a ripper. (Yep unique age dynamic)

 

[Wickzki]

Congrats TENACIOUS and Coona Blues .

Today was a ripper for me too.

Since I began dating my current partner and met her son there has been absolutely no pressure from either of us to make me appear to be his stepfather. It's been clear for a couple of years that I am the most important male in his life. However, kid has a father (less said the better) so didn't want to ever force that upon him. In fact, quite the opposite. We've always encouraged him to call me by a name that he was comfortable with which he has always done.

Fathers Day has been special for a couple of years though. We always do something family-oriented. But this morning he asked Mum if he could give me my present. So Mum took him into her office where it was waiting for him. He comes out all proud and stuff and says "Wick. You're my step Dad. You love me and you're here for me. Look at this card. You're my superhero."

For a kid with ADHD, Autism, global development delay, etc. he also got an amazing report from his teacher last Monday. Fortunate to be able to go to parent teacher interviews. I'm on the P&C (parents and citizens) team so his teacher is familiar with me but she said "all I've heard for the past month is that you're in hospital. He won't stop talking about you."

Hit me right in the feels.

 

[myblueroan]

Congrats TENACIOUS and Coona Blues .

Today was a ripper for me too.

Since I began dating my current partner and met her son there has been absolutely no pressure from either of us to make me appear to be his stepfather. It's been clear for a couple of years that I am the most important male in his life. However, kid has a father (less said the better) so didn't want to ever force that upon him. In fact, quite the opposite. We've always encouraged him to call me by a name that he was comfortable with which he has always done.

Fathers Day has been special for a couple of years though. We always do something family-oriented. But this morning he asked Mum if he could give me my present. So Mum took him into her office where it was waiting for him. He comes out all proud and stuff and says "Wick. You're my step Dad. You love me and you're here for me. Look at this card. You're my superhero."

For a kid with ADHD, Autism, global development delay, etc. he also got an amazing report from his teacher last Monday. Fortunate to be able to go to parent teacher interviews. I'm on the P&C (parents and citizens) team so his teacher is familiar with me but she said "all I've heard for the past month is that you're in hospital. He won't stop talking about you."

Hit me right in the feels.

View attachment 1227632

Well I teared up. Well done Wick!

 

[Coona Blues]

Well I teared up. Well done Wick!

You’re not the only one……..

 

[myblueroan]

You’re not the only one……..

Ya big softie coona!
How are you doing?

 

[Dramoth]

My stepdad was the most important male influence in my life, along with my grandfather. My real father left when I was about two, the parental figures were divorced by the time I was 3. I was talking about my mum’s treatment of me and my sister and how he was manipulated into disappearing from our lives when I was about 4.

I told my father about my mum putting me out of the car and driving off with me standing in the sidewalk… at 3 years old. Just because I was crying and wouldn’t shut up. My father responded with a string of exclamation marks… he couldn’t believe that someone would do that to a child.

My stepdad put up with a lot of shite from my mum over the decades they were together before he left.

8-12 months… that’s all she has left now from what I can gather from her oncologist. I’m still trying to please her and make her happy. I’m one of pavlov’s dogs now!

 

[Wickzki]

R U OK?

 

[Blue Pulse]

Congrats TENACIOUS and Coona Blues .

Today was a ripper for me too.

Since I began dating my current partner and met her son there has been absolutely no pressure from either of us to make me appear to be his stepfather. It's been clear for a couple of years that I am the most important male in his life. However, kid has a father (less said the better) so didn't want to ever force that upon him. In fact, quite the opposite. We've always encouraged him to call me by a name that he was comfortable with which he has always done.

Fathers Day has been special for a couple of years though. We always do something family-oriented. But this morning he asked Mum if he could give me my present. So Mum took him into her office where it was waiting for him. He comes out all proud and stuff and says "Wick. You're my step Dad. You love me and you're here for me. Look at this card. You're my superhero."

For a kid with ADHD, Autism, global development delay, etc. he also got an amazing report from his teacher last Monday. Fortunate to be able to go to parent teacher interviews. I'm on the P&C (parents and citizens) team so his teacher is familiar with me but she said "all I've heard for the past month is that you're in hospital. He won't stop talking about you."

Hit me right in the feels.

View attachment 1227632

Brilliant! Kids are a great judge of character Wick

 

[VeinGlorious]

Posted this on another board and given my penchant for helping people and my want to make the world a better place, I thought posting it here would be nice for anyone that chooses to read it.

Good morning friends, I hope you are all well on this fine day in the land of Bigfooty

As most of you already know, today is R U Ok day in Australia. It’s a very serious, important and worthwhile day which is focussed on suicide prevention and encouraging discussions of social isolation and mental health issues, and to promote awareness on these issues.

Starting today and spanning into the foreseeable future I will be giving out free hugs and positive vibes to anyone who feels like they need a little cheer added to their day.

These vibes can come in the form of a personalised gif, a carefully crafted shoop, or just some kind words about the specific posters persona.

It’s ok to reach out and chat if you aren’t feeling right.

It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and in need of a helping hand.

It’s ok not to be ok, but it’s not ok to stay that way.

Much love, Vein xo

 

[Wickzki]

Having a cystoscopy tomorrow. Also because I'm a huge needlephobe (trypanophobic) I'm getting my first Covid jab, a Libre (diabetic sensor that gets implanted in the arm) and blood tests taken tomorrow.

Therefore I probably won't be around much for a couple of days.

I hope I don't miss too much.

Wishing you all the best ahead of time.

 

[myblueroan]

Having a cystoscopy tomorrow. Also because I'm a huge needlephobe (trypanophobic) I'm getting my first Covid jab, a Libre (diabetic sensor that gets implanted in the arm) and blood tests taken tomorrow.

Therefore I probably won't be around much for a couple of days.

I hope I don't miss too much.

Wishing you all the best ahead of time.

Best of luck Wick!
Breathe and visualise calm.

 

[Wickzki]

Hospital system is frustrating.

Told for a week and a half for tomorrow then my registrar comes and bumps me a week.

 

[Coona Blues]

Hospital system is frustrating.

Told for a week and a half for tomorrow then my registrar comes and bumps me a week.

Yup. Sorry to hear Wick, does that give you weekend release? Of course that may stuff GF weekend. Didn’t affect me, but saw a number of “roomies” on standby lists forced to fast on successive days in case of openings etc.

 

[Wickzki]

Yup. Sorry to hear Wick, does that give you weekend release? Of course that may stuff GF weekend. Didn’t affect me, but saw a number of “roomies” on standby lists forced to fast on successive days in case of openings etc.

Yep. Grand Final weekend is now screwed. But yes, registrar said I can go home tomorrow.

I have Foxtel Go on my phone so I'll be able to watch it on the TV here and then on a better screen later if it's a good game.

May see if I'm allowed to go to the dining hall and watch it on their big screen television. A few footy fans in here so hopefully its an option.

Would be nice and almost as good as home. Make an Uber Eats order and make an evening out of it while being in a safe environment.

 

[Wickzki]

The physio advised me that if I wanted to build strength in my legs that I should commit to doing lunges. I don't know about you but that seems like a big step forward

 

[Coona Blues]

The physio advised me that if I wanted to build strength in my legs that I should commit to doing lunges. I don't know about you but that seems like a big step forward

You bloody lunatic…….get some sleep. I’ll be doing my lunges in the pool today. Tide times wrong for the ocean given wifey’s work time.

Thinking Paula Abdul has our theme song down pat. On numerous levels.

 

[myblueroan]

The physio advised me that if I wanted to build strength in my legs that I should commit to doing lunges. I don't know about you but that seems like a big step forward

Fine form mate.
Keep it up.
A small step for giants
But a giant step for Wicki kind.

 

[Wickzki]

You bloody lunatic…….get some sleep. I’ll be doing my lunges in the pool today. Tide times wrong for the ocean given wifey’s work time.

Thinking Paula Abdul has our theme song down pat. On numerous levels.

Nice.

I woke up in the middle of the night and took a bit to get back to rest.

Good luck at the pool today.

 

[Wickzki]

Just out of a successful surgery and dinner bedside with partner and stepson.

I'll share but if don't like medical stuff read no further.

Hopefully spoiler tags work here.

Spoiler

Cystoscopy discovered the issue with my bladder. Hole from urethra to bladder was decreased in size from my spinal surgery. Potential surgery to fix this issue with the hope of solving incontinence. Need to discuss with urologist in a few days.

I've suffered from phimosis since I was a kid (foreskin too tight to roll back). They gave it an incision that will make inserting catheters much easier in the future. Potential full adult circumcision in the future. It's bandaged now but uro called it a "frill neck lizard."

 

[Stickitupthem]

Just out of a successful surgery and dinner bedside with partner and stepson.

I'll share but if don't like medical stuff read no further.

Hopefully spoiler tags work here.

Spoiler

Cystoscopy discovered the issue with my bladder. Hole from urethra to bladder was decreased in size from my spinal surgery. Potential surgery to fix this issue with the hope of solving incontinence. Need to discuss with urologist in a few days.

I've suffered from phimosis since I was a kid (foreskin too tight to roll back). They gave it an incision that will make inserting catheters much easier in the future. Potential full adult circumcision in the future. It's bandaged now but uro called it a "frill neck lizard."

Good to have you back always like your knowledgeable posts .
A question to ponder while your lying there
if your up to it .
Who should we chase to fill our assistant roles .

 

[Revenant1965]

Just out of a successful surgery and dinner bedside with partner and stepson.

I'll share but if don't like medical stuff read no further.

Hopefully spoiler tags work here.

Spoiler

Cystoscopy discovered the issue with my bladder. Hole from urethra to bladder was decreased in size from my spinal surgery. Potential surgery to fix this issue with the hope of solving incontinence. Need to discuss with urologist in a few days.

I've suffered from phimosis since I was a kid (foreskin too tight to roll back). They gave it an incision that will make inserting catheters much easier in the future. Potential full adult circumcision in the future. It's bandaged now but uro called it a "frill neck lizard."

All the best in your recovery. Thinking of you and yours.

 

[Wickzki]

Good to have you back always like your knowledgeable posts .
A question to ponder while your lying there
if your up to it .
Who should we chase to fill our assistant roles .

Have heard from multiple sources that we're short on options for next year but will get much better for 2023.

That means I'd be looking for potential diamonds in the rough. Now, i don't know everyone's assistants so if these guys are taken those are the ones I'd be looking at.

• Grant Birchall
• Shaun Burgoyne
• Nathan Jones
• David Astbury
• James Frawley
• Kade Simpson
• Tyson Goldsack
• Jarryd Roughead
• Scott Thompson
• Heath Grundy
• Jarrad McVeigh
• Dale Morris
• Liam Pickett
• Brad Sewell
• Lewis Roberts-Thomson
• Lenny Hayes
• Matthew Scarlett
• David Wojcinski
• Lindsay Gilbee
• Brady Rawlings
• Craig Bolton
• Mitch Hahn

Now as you can see I've just gone through the last decadd worth of retirements and looked a little into the qualities that make up a great coach type. Some of these guys are probably already in the system somewhere and others may not have the desire to coach but they all fit the age range of a coach.

I'd also be looking at a permanent mentor for Voss who also serves as a go between through the coaching list, the football department and the executive committee to ensure Vossy and the assistants are getting the full support of every staff member top to bottom as necessary

 

[Stickitupthem]

Have heard from multiple sources that we're short on options for next year but will get much better for 2023.

That means I'd be looking for potential diamonds in the rough. Now, i don't know everyone's assistants so if these guys are taken those are the ones I'd be looking at.

• Grant Birchall
• Shaun Burgoyne
• Nathan Jones
• David Astbury
• James Frawley
• Kade Simpson
• Tyson Goldsack
• Jarryd Roughead
• Scott Thompson
• Heath Grundy
• Jarrad McVeigh
• Dale Morris
• Liam Pickett
• Brad Sewell
• Lewis Roberts-Thomson
• Lenny Hayes
• Matthew Scarlett
• David Wojcinski
• Lindsay Gilbee
• Brady Rawlings
• Craig Bolton
• Mitch Hahn

Now as you can see I've just gone through the last decadd worth of retirements and looked a little into the qualities that make up a great coach type. Some of these guys are probably already in the system somewhere and others may not have the desire to coach but they all fit the age range of a coach.

I'd also be looking at a permanent mentor for Voss who also serves as a go between through the coaching list, the football department and the executive committee to ensure Vossy and the assistants are getting the full support of every staff member top to bottom as necessary

Your on the ball
Personally I’d look at someone who’s had to work hard for their lot ,someone who hasn’t had it easy eg Jones , reid
and bachar would be a great get a champion human being who could help galvanise our team .
Anyway it’s just footy ,you’ll love it when your back in your own bed