Family & Relationships Mothers

[exe ex machina]

.....

 

[DroopStDanny]

This bloke might be your dad.

 

[Plugger35]

GG laying the groundwork so he can hook up with people's mothers.

 

[UFO Tatsu]

I was born in Amarillo, Texas, many decades ago. I never knew my mother. Was abandoned at birth and taken in by nuns. Sister Dolores was the one who named me and essentially raised me in those earliest years. But I imagine my real mother was some dirty teen Spanish-speaking whore.

Tell me about your mother. Her first name, what she looked like, what she was like, what did she do for work, and any other interesting stories and information pertaining to her as a girl, a young woman. Good or bad.

GG.exe is a funny name to give a baby

 

[Gough]

I was born of virgin birth to a simple woman named Mary.

 

[Footypie32]

GG.exe is a funny name to give a baby

I believe he was originally GG.zip, but the nuns unpacked him.

 

[Beerfish]

My mamma is so fat, when she got on the scales it said 'I need your weight not your phone number'.

 

[Billy ray]

My mamma is so fat, when she got on the scales it said 'I need your weight not your phone number'.

My mamma so fat when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctors gave her 10 years to live!

 

[SwampCreature]

My mum came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing and spitting at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mum but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I need like seven gatorades. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the ****ing **** are they losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a ****ing breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Labron to win a title for The Land. I cannot ****ing deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought they were supposed to steal one in the Oracle???? This is so ****ed. Later that week I was bragging to my mate about my brush with mum. Showed him some pics from the day. It was not my mum that had brought me chicken nuggets.

It was Stephen King.

 

[rippersnipper]

My mamma is so fat, when she got on the scales it said 'I need your weight not your phone number'.

But is she massive enough to cause hydrogen atoms to fuse into helium and have other objects revolve around her in stable orbits?

 

[Beerfish]

But is she massive enough to cause hydrogen atoms to fuse into helium and have other objects revolve around her in stable orbits?

Nah and that would just be mean and rude to even suggest tbh.

 

[rippersnipper]

Nah and that would just be mean and rude to even suggest tbh.

Well we know she kicked pluto out of the planet category so i dunno, could be accurate

 

[perthblue]

yo mama so fat she got on the scales and it said 'damn, one at a time!!!!'

 

[Perth gal]

I saw yo mumma kicking a can down the street and i said what you doin mumma and she said, moving!

 

[little graham]

I was born in Amarillo, Texas, many decades ago. I never knew my mother. Was abandoned at birth and taken in by nuns. Sister Dolores was the one who named me and essentially raised me in those earliest years.

George thorogood credits a sister Dolores for the song.

 

[exe ex machina]

Probably a more apt song....

 

[rippersnipper]

Just to ruin the vibe here for one second. Fat isn't as massive as muscle and scales don't provide a reading of weight, but mass. Mass is equal to volume multiplied by density so she might not be increadibly large, but instead very dense (see neutron star). Incredible density often leads to immense magnetic fields. Having said all of that, your mother is so dense that she can strip the magnetic stripes off of your credit card from the orbit of the moon

 

[Spongebob]

Just to ruin the vibe here for one second. Fat isn't as massive as muscle and scales don't provide a reading of weight, but mass. Mass is equal to volume multiplied by density so she might not be increadibly large, but instead very dense (see neutron star). Incredible density often leads to immense magnetic fields. Having said all of that, your mother is so dense that she can strip the magnetic stripes off of your credit card from the orbit of the moon

Thank you Sheldon.

 

[exe ex machina]

....

 

[worbod]

I was born in Amarillo, Texas, many decades ago. I never knew my mother. Was abandoned at birth and taken in by nuns. Sister Dolores was the one who named me and essentially raised me in those earliest years. But I imagine my real mother was some dirty teen Spanish-speaking whore.

You too? I think we may be half brothers.

 

[perthblue]

Just to ruin the vibe here for one second. Fat isn't as massive as muscle and scales don't provide a reading of weight, but mass. Mass is equal to volume multiplied by density so she might not be increadibly large, but instead very dense (see neutron star). Incredible density often leads to immense magnetic fields. Having said all of that, your mother is so dense that she can strip the magnetic stripes off of your credit card from the orbit of the moon

nice try you ****ing fatty boomba!!!!

 

[Perth gal]

So my mother........

I thought I had a fairly idyllic childhood. I lived with my mum ,dad and younger sister. We lived in a nice street and saw our family often enough. I was a very confident child and although sometimes my mum seemed a bit cold my Dad was a great Dad.

Suddenly at the age of 6 it all changed. I didn't so much as hear one fight before it was all over. I don't remember the leaving part just remember ending up at some old ducks hoise with my Dad ,my sister stayed with Mum.

Dad became super religious and so began a life of church going, albeit in a nice church communion with a very depressed Dad , controlling and a bit unkind.

Mum became a raging alcoholic, got a boyfriend and so started the merry dance of pubs and parties, arguing and all round good times for my sister . My mum in the 10 year period I lived with Dad never came to see me , I went there on school holidays . The fights and boozing continued when I got there and after I went back at 16 . Why I did that I'll never know.

Anyway my mum has been diagnosed a narcissist by me. Just this year as a matter of fact. A more selfish, self obsessed person you'd be hard pressed to find. A master manipulator and likes to play head games. Oh and did I mention nasty. Case in point....I had a friend who told me via text nearly a year ago the friendship was over. That's another story . Anyway during the time we were friends they never bothered with each other. Now suddenly whenever we run into this person at sporting stuff both our kids attend she just has to make a point of saying hello. And telling me about it.

Why don't I just cut ties? Oh I'd love to . But unfortunately the offspring who is totally manipulated into thinking she's king Dick ....well I just can't.

I'd give anything to have a loving ,caring mum that you can actually trust not to constantly hurt you. But you see, I don't.

 

[exe ex machina]

.....

 

[perthblue]

So my mother........

I thought I had a fairly idyllic childhood. I lived with my mum ,dad and younger sister. We lived in a nice street and saw our family often enough. I was a very confident child and although sometimes my mum seemed a bit cold my Dad was a great Dad.

Suddenly at the age of 6 it all changed. I didn't so much as hear one fight before it was all over. I don't remember the leaving part just remember ending up at some old ducks hoise with my Dad ,my sister stayed with Mum.

Dad became super religious and so began a life of church going, albeit in a nice church communion with a very depressed Dad , controlling and a bit unkind.

Mum became a raging alcoholic, got a boyfriend and so started the merry dance of pubs and parties, arguing and all round good times for my sister . My mum in the 10 year period I lived with Dad never came to see me , I went there on school holidays . The fights and boozing continued when I got there and after I went back at 16 . Why I did that I'll never know.

Anyway my mum has been diagnosed a narcissist by me. Just this year as a matter of fact. A more selfish, self obsessed person you'd be hard pressed to find. A master manipulator and likes to play head games. Oh and did I mention nasty. Case in point....I had a friend who told me via text nearly a year ago the friendship was over. That's another story . Anyway during the time we were friends they never bothered with each other. Now suddenly whenever we run into this person at sporting stuff both our kids attend she just has to make a point of saying hello. And telling me about it.

Why don't I just cut ties? Oh I'd love to . But unfortunately the offspring who is totally manipulated into thinking she's king Dick ....well I just can't.

I'd give anything to have a loving ,caring mum that you can actually trust not to constantly hurt you. But you see, I don't.

bigfooty is your mum now : - )
<3

 

[Perth gal]

bigfooty is your mum now : - )
<3