Injury My Mental Health

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I haven't slept in days.

I'm in st Vincent's mental hospital.

This place is like a ******* prison.

I want to go home.

It's only making me worse.
 
I will try to write something tomorrow.

I am just so sad.
 
I can't give 'likes' to posts so sad. Good to hear you are safe, mate, even if it's not the kind of safety you were seeking. Sounds as though there has a least been recognition of your situation. We are concerned about you Temploar and hope you can gather together some optimism despite the negativity you are experiencing. Hopefully there is a hidden agenda meant to help you rather than further depress you. Hang in there, my friend!
 

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This is mental torture..

They took my laptop and books away because they think im gonna hurt myself with them.


Yeah, great plan dickheads. Who hurts them self with a laptop?
 
Temploar said:
This is mental torture..

They took my laptop and books away because they think im gonna hurt myself with them.


Yeah, great plan dickheads. Who hurts them self with a laptop?
Click to expand...

That does sound Stupid and could make you worse.

Guess you could hit your Head with the Laptop, They worried about Paper Cuts Too?
 
TradeDraft said:
That does sound Stupid and could make you worse.

Guess you could hit your Head with the Laptop, They worried about Paper Cuts Too?
Click to expand...

Sorry Temploar and Dave but your last line made me laugh. Love your work Dave.

I am not good at words like you and Bad Horse or Walter and especially TheGreatGrundy but one thing you said the other day has stuck with me.

You mentioned the Black & White tunnel you’re going through......it sounds like you’re currently in the Black section.

Hang in there mate because the White part is coming up next......and that’s the best part.
 
Temploar said:
This is mental torture..

They took my laptop and books away because they think im gonna hurt myself with them.


Yeah, great plan dickheads. Who hurts them self with a laptop?
Click to expand...
What books did they take? Maybe the subject matter concerned them! I recall you saying you are not a big reader, so I shouldn't imagine you taking in 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' or something similar. Have to admit I chuckled at Dave's suggestion of hurting yourself with paper cuts. Even Thai prisons allow paper and books, though not photographs for the reason Dave mentioned.

As for the laptop, I would be concerned I'd at best knock myself out but do irreparable damage to one of my most prized possessions. A mobile phone is no substitute when it comes to posting on big footy or Facebook.
 
TheGreatGrundy said:
What books did they take? Maybe the subject matter concerned them! I recall you saying you are not a big reader, so I shouldn't imagine you taking in 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest' or something similar. Have to admit I chuckled at Dave's suggestion of hurting yourself with paper cuts. Even Thai prisons allow paper and books, though not photographs for the reason Dave mentioned.

As for the laptop, I would be concerned I'd at best knock myself out but do irreparable damage to one of my most prized possessions. A mobile phone is no substitute when it comes to posting on big footy or Facebook.
Click to expand...


Oh I can't remember the books that I took. I know one of them was "the best jobs to work for in Australia" .... So the subject matter isn't an issue.
 
It was the 13th anniversary of my dads suicide today.

My whole family are celebrating on Facebook like he died an honourable death or some s**t!!

I just commented that I couldn't care less.
Waiting for the Inevitable backlash.

No. He's not a man that should be ******* praised.

While I sit here in a ******* mental hospital, he took the easy way out.

* him. He left two sons behind.

I am genuinely angry. Couldn't give a * if my family hate me for this.

Where is he now?????!!! Whys he not helping me now?!!!.

He was never there for me.
 
Thanks Jasper84

For helping me out with some funds.

Get around Douglas Reynholm !!
 
Every hour of every day they check on me.
Make sure I'm not dead, feed me meds.
Forcing me to eat, 7am and it's get on your feet.
Mind foggy, and I feel in a daze.
It's all designed this way, that's why this hospital is a maze.
No different than life, just another game depending on how you play it.
It doesn't take me to say it, but some people think otherwise.
I'm trying to find the joy in here, but word to the wise.
Why did I take this as a surprise?

Writing this sh1t so my mind doesn't go to sh1t.
P1ss, tick, boom.
My buddy fester asked for ice cream, but I feel like I just want to ******* scream.
Nobody here is lively, and the place is a dive.
Now that I think about it, that crazy woman at breakfast was right.
Bacon and eggs would have been nice.

Not phased by much
It's obvious I engaged in risky stuff
They thought I was crazy, and now it's like I'm locked up.
They call it mental health, but everyone in here is just lacking wealth.
So I put my pen to the page
Despite my age, I've been stuck in this dark place.
Youngest mother*er in here make me realise how much time I have left.
Just last week I thought it was the end.
Yeah, the end of the journey
The end of the journey
The end of the journey
But then I realise,
This is just all part of the journey.
 
Just some raw s**t I cooked up in 10 mins so that I don't ******* pull my hair out.
 

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Temploar said:
Just some raw s**t I cooked up in 10 mins so that I don't ******* pull my hair out.
Click to expand...

Keep writing.

Stream of consciousness writing and talking can be like sculpting in the air.

When you feel like it, you might also try writing about something you hope to do or experience.

For some people, the core of depression is the absence of hope.

Thinking about things you would like, gently, can restore hope.

The medicos at Vinnies will want to see emotional self-control - speaking at a normal pace, not expressing anger etc - to be convinced you will look after yourself.

A small experiment for you - try using soothing language on the other patients in the clinic. Smile at them. Draw upon your resources/personality to make others there feel better.

If you keep reaching out things will be okay. xoxoxx
 
Good to see you being productive and also gives us a feel of the place and experience from your perspective. You won't get a sleep in while you are there and your routine will be punctuated by the dispensing of medication. No bacon and eggs! Bummer. Alfred Hospitals psych dept has lots of activities in the daytime. Do they keep you busy at St Vincents? Great to see you writing as it will help work some of your emotions out of your system.
 
TheGreatGrundy said:
Good to see you being productive and also gives us a feel of the place and experience from your perspective. You won't get a sleep in while you are there and your routine will be punctuated by the dispensing of medication. No bacon and eggs! Bummer. Alfred Hospitals psych dept has lots of activities in the daytime. Do they keep you busy at St Vincents? Great to see you writing as it will help work some of your emotions out of your system.
Click to expand...


They have a day activity. But I don't want to do anything except just sit in this room.

NO disrespect to anyone here but I am the most normal person here by a long margin.
That's why I don't want to mix with anyone.

I've been nice to everyone though. Even cleaned up a lady's spillage at lunch earlier.

Just got an x ray on my hand. I've broken my pinky finger from the events of last week, oh well haha!

I actually feel so much better after seeing everyone here. Once again no disrespect.

Maybe it's just the tiredness but I'm feeling pretty good right now, and they haven't doped me up or anything.
Just a small, 5mg dose of valium in the morning which is nothing... And I've been on that for a week so anyway.

Psych said his only option for me is to try antipsychotics which is stupid cuz I've never been psychotic. Never seen or heard anything unusual.

Been tried on seroquel before and turned me into a Zombie. Slept 26 hours.
Then risperidone when I left the royal Melbourne last year. Large dose of 2mg, I almost passed out on the tram home and slept for 30 hours..

Psych here wants me on risperidone again.....0.5mg though.
I heard the side effects can be terrible though.
Weight gain, gynaecomastia, heart problems, low blood pressure, high blood sugar. Low sex drive.

Sounds like a pretty ****ed up drug to be on long term!
Surely this can't be their magic ******* cure for me.

If that's the case then * that.

I think I'm just gonna get off the alcohol. Get off the marijuana. Go for walks. Take some vitamin d. And get the * out of here.

If anyone knows any more about risperidone then please let me know.
 
I just swore a lot in that previous post haha.
 
Temploar said:
I've been nice to everyone though. Even cleaned up a lady's spillage at lunch earlier.
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Only a guess, I'd assume that sort of stuff and normal conversations would only be a good thing i.e, they might stop medicating you.
I don't have any knowledge or first hand experience in what you are going through, but maybe some down time where you're warm, fed and can sleep in peace might be good for you?
Hopefully that's what they're trying to achieve.
 
Temploar said:
If anyone knows any more about risperidone then please let me know.
Click to expand...
Never heard of it but found this...
Stop taking risperidone and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
  • fever, stiff muscles, confusion, sweating, fast or uneven heartbeats;
  • restless muscle movements in your eyes, tongue, jaw, or neck;
  • drooling, tremor (uncontrolled shaking);
  • seizure (convulsions);
  • fever, chills, body aches, flu...
 
Anzacday said:
Never heard of it but found this...
Stop taking risperidone and call your doctor at once if you have a serious side effect such as:
  • fever, stiff muscles, confusion, sweating, fast or uneven heartbeats;
  • restless muscle movements in your eyes, tongue, jaw, or neck;
  • drooling, tremor (uncontrolled shaking);
  • seizure (convulsions);
  • fever, chills, body aches, flu...
Click to expand...


Yeah I've read too much s**t about people getting bad side effects.

I'm not sure if I want this.
 
Temploar said:
Yeah I've read too much s**t about people getting bad side effects.

I'm not sure if I want this.
Click to expand...
Ask them why - what is it designed to stop or start you doing?
 
Anzacday said:
Ask them why - what is it designed to stop or start you doing?
Click to expand...

It's because typical antidepressants make me go a bit silly.
 
Anzacday said:
Only a guess, I'd assume that sort of stuff and normal conversations would only be a good thing i.e, they might stop medicating you.
I don't have any knowledge or first hand experience in what you are going through, but maybe some down time where you're warm, fed and can sleep in peace might be good for you?
Hopefully that's what they're trying to achieve.
Click to expand...
I worked with a 13 yr old boy medicated with Risperdal which I imagine is a brand name. From memory it was an anti psychotic which was very contraversially being used on about 1000 teenagers. The boy had aspergers but a host of other behavioural problems and was on other drugs. I think anti psychotics are fairly often used in reasonably normal people.
 
Hi Temploar, I myself have been in hospital for mental health issues, i am a diagnosed schizophrenic. I have been put on risperidone which I found somewhat helpful but I felt quite a deal of side effects including weight gain but last time I was in hospital they put me on zuclopenthixol which was a game changer as side effects were virtually nil and it had a great effect on managing my depression and bad thoughts. I highly recommend you ask to be put on zuclopenthixol, you can't even get drunk on it, it will straighten you out big time. All the best with your struggles and if you ever need someone to talk to who has been through a lot of what you are going through I am here if you like. Cheers.
 
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