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Northern suburbs residents

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portentous

portentous

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Location
amongst the gum trees
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Port Adelaide
No idea which board to put this on, so put it here to TRY and keep FF happy.

Justin Westhoff will be appearing at the new NAB branch opening at Munno Para on Tuesday, 27th January.

Sorry but I don't know what time he will be there or who else will be there. I only know what NAB and Justin's mum tell me! :D
 
I thought you were going to say this.

A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake measuring 5.8 on the
Richter scale hit Elizabeth in the early hours of Friday with its
epicentre in Elizabeth Way, Elizabeth.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately $30.00 worth of
damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Salisbury
Riots were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were
woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. The Elizabeth Local
Paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered
and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something
interesting had happened in Elizabeth.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my
bedroom crying. My youngest two, Kevin and Jason slept through it all."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried
on as normal.

The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship
4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken
locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have
found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care
Cards, Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: baseball
caps, tracksuits, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Reebok
boots
or any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, baked
beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.

Donations $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s and a
lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Elizabeth Uniting Church has cancelled their local "Nativity Display"
due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin.

Please don't forward this to anyone living in Elizabeth- oh, stuff it,
they won't be able to read it, anyway!
 

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Rory said:
haha very good, although the 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers should be replaced with 4,000 crates of Woodstock Blues :p
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Woodie Blues... DID SOMEONE DIE IN THE HURRICANE? last time we had Woodies Centrals won the SANFL Grandfinal! we only keep that for special occasions and since when have they been blue?
 
Andre said:
It was good :thumbsu: If we can't poke fun at the bogan's in soceity then what's the world coming to? :p
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I guess you would consider me and every Port supporter living in the Salisbury Elizabeth area bogans? I live in Salisbury, and it is no where near as bad as you make it sound.
 
Troy Wingate said:
I guess you would consider me and every Port supporter living in the Salisbury Elizabeth area bogans? I live in Salisbury, and it is no where near as bad as you make it sound.
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The thing is a joke! :confused: The whole thing was obviously written to exaggerate every single stereotype about the area and people living there that's been ever said.

As for calling everyone there a bogan, it's the same as calling all Port supporters crim's, crows fans chardonnay sipping yuppies (ok that one's true) or collingwood fans toothless. Ie. not to be taken seriously or get offended by ;)
 
Andre said:
The thing is a joke! :confused: The whole thing was obviously written to exaggerate every single stereotype about the area and people living there that's been ever said.

As for calling everyone there a bogan, it's the same as calling all Port supporters crim's, crows fans chardonnay sipping yuppies (ok that one's true) or collingwood fans toothless. Ie. not to be taken seriously or get offended by ;)
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He was calling them bogans? I thought he was describing frugal folk who know how to have a good time on the cheap!
 
bwhahahah! Thats gold.

and true.

Sorry Andre, but statistically the Northern suburbs of Adelaide are behind in nearly every social wellbeing statistic available.
 
RangaInTeal said:
Woodie Blues... DID SOMEONE DIE IN THE HURRICANE? last time we had Woodies Centrals won the SANFL Grandfinal! we only keep that for special occasions and since when have they been blue?
Click to expand...

Maybe you can only get Woody Blues in the fine regions of Salisbury South and Parafield Gardens :cool:
 

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I've had to work in Salisbury on occasion and IMO it's an absolute shytehole. I've lived in Melbourne and there's nothing that even comes close to Salisbury in my view. It makes Paralowie and Elizabeth look like Unley Park! (yeah, I've got friends that live in all those places before someone goes off again-also have friends that live in Sunshine in Vic too)

I've never worked anywhere else where I've been too scared to go out at lunchtime in broad daylight, but that's Salisbury!

As an aside, Hoff's appearing at Munno Para on Saturday now. It got changed but I didn't know as I wasn't at work. Sorry for any inconvenience......
 
That was a bad report right from the first line.

For it to be a Hurricane it would need to be water borne and if it was there would be a few other suburbs that would have copped it first with much more devastating effects.

Tornado would have been a better fit. ;)
 

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