Oldies but Goodies...

[deliberate!!]

The season has started yet and the old gems have started surfacing again via email.........Thnx Tim......(5 and 6 are winners)

Q. Two Collingwood supporters jump off a cliff. Who wins?
A. Society.

Q. What do you call a Collingwood supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant.

Q. Why is three Collingwood supporters going over a cliff in a Ford a shame?
A. Because a Ford has four seats.

Q. What do you say to a Collingwood supporter with a job?
A. "Big Mac please".

Q. What does a Collingwood supporter use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.

Q. Two Collingwood supporters in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The policeman

 

[lids2004roar]

Hahaha

These are fresh too! Good find

 

[Parabola]

Legend!

 

[PHX]

Nice. 'Pies jokes never get old!

 

[Weaver]

Q. What do you call a Collingwood supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant.

or ...

Q. What do you say to a Collingwood supporter in a suit?
A. Please rise.

 

[tigerdan]

Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a Collingwood supporter?
A: A Doberman

So there is this guy with a brain tumour and the specialists say to him, "look, this is a really risky procedure, but to save your life we have to take out 50% of your brain". The patient goes, "OK, anything to save my life". So the doctors operate, but it doesn't go very well. They had to take out 90% of his brain, but they did save his life.

The surgen says "Geez, only 10% of a brain left, he's going to be a vegetable!" So they shake the guy and say "Mate, are you OK? Say something to us!"

And (of course), the patient starts mumbling "Gooood olllddd Collingwoood foreeeevvver...."

 

[TIOGAR]

What do you call 22 Collingwood supporters together in the same room? ..... a full set of teeth

 

[captain blood 17]

Q:What has two teeth, 200 legs and no brain.
A:the Collingwood cheer squad

 

[Crumden]

Mick Malthouse the coach of Collingwood Magpies gets wind of potential young recruit who lives in Iraq . Malthouse and the Magpies recruiting Manager catch a plane to the troubled Iraq capital Baghdad and track the young boy
down.

They risk life and limb dodging car bombs, bullets and grenades but finally find him and convince him to come to Australia .

The boy does a full pre-season, plays all the practice matches and gets picked on the bench in the seniors for the first game of the year.

Ten minutes into the first quarter, Nathan Buckley goes down with a severe knee injury. Malthouse turns to the boy and says "This is it son, go to the centre half forward and show us what you can do."

The boy proceeds to play the greatest debut game in AFL history. He kicks 9 goals, takes mark of the year, and kicks the winning goal after the siren from outside 50.

The Magpies chair him off the ground and give him three cheers back in the rooms. Malthouse tells the team what the boy from Iraq has been through and he is a model lesson for all.

Malthouse then pulls the boy aside and says "Go into my office son , ring your Mother and tell her what you did today."

He proceeds to do so. "Mum", he says down the phone, "Guess what I did today?"


"I don't care what you did today." His Mother replies. "I tell you what happened here today", she goes on. "Your Dad was stabbed and robbed, our house was torched, our car blown up, your sister was attacked and your brother was
abducted."

"Gee" says the boy. "I feel a bit responsible for what happened."

The Mother replies "So you should be, if it wasn't for you we would never have shifted to Collingwood."

 

[Darth_Tiger]

crumden that is pure gold mate rollin!

 

[PHX]

Haha that is classic! nice work.