Oops your slip is showing!

[raskolnikov]

commentating mistakes

And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago" (David Coleman)

"Once Tony Daley opens his legs you've got a problem" (Howard Wilkinson)

"Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman)

"We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite" (Murray Walker)

"After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought" (Bobby Robson)

"And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand" (David Coleman)

On the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country" (Ian Rush)

"Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand." (Ted Lowe)

"Ah! Isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew" (Harry Carpenter)

Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables:"I think it's 50-50."

"Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds - totally against the run of play" (Peter Lorenzo)

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalised" (Ian McNail)

"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat" (Ron Atkinson)

"I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost" (Frank Bruno)

"Henry Horton's got a funny stance. It looks as if he's ****ting on a sooting stick." (Brian Johnstone)

"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes." (David Coleman)

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people" (David Coleman)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical"(Murray Walker)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"(StuartPearce)

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father" (Greg Norman)

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious" (Alan Minter)

"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running" (Ron Pickering)

"Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers" (Murray Walker)

"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales" (Ron Greenwood)

"A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin" (Jo Sheldon)

"The French are not normally a Nordic Skiing Nation" (RonPickering)

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect" (Ted Lowe)

"Bobby Gould thinks I'm trying to stab him in the back. In fact I'm right behind him" (Stuart Pearson)

"I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right" (Marlon Starling)

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again" (Terry Venables)

"I can't tell who's leading - It's either Oxford or Cambridge" (John Snagge - Boat Race)

"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests - absolutely round." (Tony Crozier)

 

[lamby29]

 

[catattack]

FUNNY!

 

[Richmondfan#1]

Originally posted by DonFan

"A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin" (Jo Sheldon)

Haha ... they're all gold.

 

[jikost]

great stuff!

 

[Port1978]

Ha ha, nice ones!

 

[Bomber Spirit]

As Peter Willey faced up to the bowling of Michael Holding, Brian Johnston from BBC - "The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willey."

 

[Pedro]

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
>embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before
>she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true
>story... We had a female news anchor
>who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
>weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last
>night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too
>they were laughing so hard!.

sort of fits the thread.

 

[hotpie]

Originally posted by DonFan
commentating mistakes

"Fred Davis, the doyen of snooker, now 67 years of age and too old to get his leg over, prefers to use his left hand." (Ted Lowe)

"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect" (Ted Lowe)

Another classic from Lowe is

"Davis is now on the pink ball. For those of you watching on black and white TV the pink ball is the one just behind the green"

 

[the fly]

In threads like this you can't go past the great man Murray Walker.

"Do my eyes deceive me or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough"
"Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place"
"As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboeto is 5th"
"and this is the third placed carabout to lap the second placed car"
"and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position...in fact he's lapping 2.5seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position"
"Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best Formula 1 driver that grand priz racing has ever produced"
"And there's a dry line appearing in the tunnel"
"Mansell is slowing down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't. It's a lap record."

more of these at the Murray Walker quotes page

 

[BomberGal]

Originally posted by DonFan
"Watch the time -it gives you an indication of how fast they are running" (Ron Pickering)

Well duh...

 

[benny's buddy]

Originally posted by the fly
"and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position...in fact he's lapping 2.5seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position"

that actually can happen.

 

[NICK THE PIE MAN]

A great one I heard was a bloke in the US who signed for a struggling club and he said to the media: "We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees."

 

[Weaver]

Originally posted by the fly
"and Blundell is doing very well in sixth position...in fact he's lapping 2.5seconds faster than Blundell who is in fifth position"
[/URL]

Obviously confusing Martin Brundell and Mark Blundell. Was odd there for a while.

 

[Yabba]

Jason McAteer… and these are among the other highlights of your brilliant career so far.

1) After dumping Jase, former girlfriend Donna Air told an interviewer, "I wouldn't date any more footballers - they're not the brightest of people." Which is saying something as Donna is famous for once asking brother-and-sisters bodhran botherers The Corrs how they met.

2) On spotting another famous face in a Dublin nightclub, Jason decided to make the star feel welcome by yelling out a catchphrase he would naturally be familiar with. What snooker’s Jimmy White made of the sudden cry “One hundred and eighty!” is sadly not recorded.

3) Jason’s nickname is Trigger, after the Only Fools And Horses character (“If it’s a girl, they’re gonna call it Rose, after Del’s mum. And if it’s a boy, they’re gonna call it Rodney, after Dave”). This caused problems when he first arrived at Liverpool as Rob Jones, then regarded as the least cerebral player at Anfield, already owned the name. In recognition of his superior claim, however, McAteer was later christened ‘Double Trigger’.

4) According to former Blackburn team-mates, Jason’s greatest moment came on a squad night out to an Italian restaurant. Asked by the waitress whether he wanted his pizza cut up into eighths, McAteer is alleged to have replied, “Nah, I’m not that hungry – just cut it into four.”

5) In another possibly apocryphal (that means it might be made up, Jason) story, McAteer is reckoned to have asked a Liverpool team-mate what to put in the space marked ‘Position In Company’ on a credit card application form. According to legend, the source of McAteer’s confusion was that “I’m a central midfielder but the boss is playing me at right wing-back.”

6) Jason is a keen gourmet. After Ireland qualified for the second stage of the 1994 World Cup finals, he spent the night eating Chicken McNuggets while sitting on the bonnet of a stretch limousine in New York’s Times Square in the company of U2 bassist Adam Clayton. Among his happiest memories of first club Bolton are “getting out on my own and going down to Tesco to buy my favourite biscuits”. Jason also believes Gerard Houllier’s biggest mistake at Liverpool has been ordering the players to abandon their morning ritual of eating toast before training.

7) Many cruel folk have suggested that Jason doesn’t know much at all. But according to the voiceover on his bewildering 1998 Head And Shoulders advert, “Jason knows he can have it all”. In this case, “it all” appeared to involve soaping himself homoerotically with the well-known salve for the flaky-scalped. L’Oreal hawker David Ginola was said to be “not losing much sleep” over our boy’s performance.

8) Jason calls his best friend “a deep thinker… he could easily be a news reporter”. Jason’s best friend is Phil Babb.

9) Ireland’s otherwise unremarkable World Cup warmup match against Sanfreece Hiroshima was memorable for two things: a dreadful late foul upon our hero by Tulio and Jason’s subsequent assessment of his injury, picked up expertly by Sky’s pitchside microphones for broadcast to the watching millions back home: “My knee’s f***ed! My knee’s f***ed!” Needless to say, it wasn’t.

10) Ireland team-mate Ian Harte says: "The other week Jason gave a Ralph Lauren polo shirt to his mum to wash and those shirts are longer at the back than at the front. His mum didn't spot this until after she'd washed it, thought she'd shrunk the front, and so cut the back to make both sides equal. He says that's where he gets his stupidity from."

He really isn't the brightest

 

[the fly]

Enough with Murray, here's some Martin Brundle quotes.

"That strap on Hakkinen's shoulder has been holding his head on all race."
"The lap will be one race shorter."
"Hockenheim: four and a quarter miles of torturous tarmac. Part show-business through the stadium, part magical mystery tour into the forest."
"Basically there's three ways of getting these cars off the line: 'Granny leaving the supermarket', 'Boy Racer' and 'Control Freak'. Granny is the winner closely followed by Control Freak."


Martin Brundle's Racing Lines