OT:Funny one

[Damp Squarie]

An old prospector walks his tired old mule into a western town one day.
He'd been out in the desert for about six months without a drop of whiskey.
He walked up to the first saloon he came to and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a gunslinger walked out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance. I just never wanted to." A crowd had gathered by then and the gunslinger said, "Well you old fool, you're gonna dance now", and started shooting at the old mans feet. The old prospector was hopping around and everybody was laughing.

When the gunslinger fired his last bullet he holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man reached up on the mule, drew his shotgun, and pulled both hammers back making a double clicking sound.

The gunslinger heard the sound and everything got quiet.

The crowd watched as the gunslinger slowly turned around looking down both barrels of the shotgun.

The old man asked, "Did you ever kiss a mule square on the ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No, But I've always wanted to."

 

[Damp Squarie]

snip


LOL

Thanks...this ones not bad

(Fictional story)
Last night, some of my mates and I went to a Gentleman's Club.
A bunch of officers were there, too.

A Lieutenant there wanted to impress the rest of us, so he pulled out a $10 bill. When the dancer came over to us, the Lieutenant licked the $10 bill and stuck it to her ass cheek!

Not to be outdone, a Commander pulls out a $20 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to her other ass cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, the Captain pulls out a $50 bill and calls the girl over, and licks the bill.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately he just stuck it to one of her ass cheeks, again.

My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the girl gyrates over to me!
Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the girl's egging me on to try to top the $50.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of her ass, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went and bought another bundy.