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Society & Culture Reddit LOL's

  • Thread starter Thread starter Quivorir
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Quivorir

Quivorir

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Avoided this site like the plague until Yesterday, couldnt resist the temptation of finding out the cum box story. Now im hooked.

Post the funny shit here in this one thread.

Original Post:

I tried finger banging wife (girlfriend at the time) and another girlfriend at the same time. My rhythm is way off so I just ended up looking like a jackass in what was supposed to be a really sexy moment.
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Reply:

http://i.imgur.com/Ss1W3.gif

Lost my shit at that. 5 mins not stop laughter at work.
 

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In reference to a game called Sneaky Poo, where the aim of the game is to hide a poo somewhere in the house.

I heard about some roommates who played this game.

The hiding places kept getting more elaborate until one day they couldn't find the poo no matter where they looked. They eventually forgot about it until one of them was making a sandwich. They noticed some brown streaks in the butter, dug around a bit, and found a nice big **** in the container they'd been eating butter out of for weeks.

That quickly put an end to their games of Sneaky Poo.
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Quivorir said:
Cum Box Story

Thanks to Poseidon for the link
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dovtqp.jpg
 

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You're all gonna be super jelly. I wrote a comment that people liked and they started gifting me reddit gold like it was going out of fashion. /boast
 

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woopedazz said:
You're all gonna be super jelly. I wrote a comment that people liked and they started gifting me reddit gold like it was going out of fashion. /boast
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I'm yet to pull any gold but every now and then i'll post a comment that gets a few hunj upvotes. It's all internet points but it does make you feel good watching that number rise.
 
zimma said:
It's merely higher on the chain of reposting, seems to be a step below the Chan sites, but above facebook and other shitty comedy based sites like the chive, cracked etc.
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If you avoid the default subs it isn't too bad.
 
Holy shit.

In college I had a bit of a dry spurt, so I went to craigslist to try and get some quick, easy sex. I went to a big school with a lot of other schools in the area, so I figured I'd probably find someone in the same situation as me on the other side of the fence. I'm the type that would bang anything, so I responded to every ad on there.
There were a bunch of bots that sent replies...and one actual girl who responded. She was 19 and described as a BBW and boy was she right. When she sent her body pic, it looked like she took up the entire bed. I mean she was huge, at least 300 pounds and 6 feet tall. I'm a big guy myself, standing 6'2" and weighing about 200 (give or take 15 pounds depending on the season) but this girl looked way bigger. That night when she responded I told her I only had a couple hours which she convinced me wasn't enough time, so we set up a **** session for later that week at her dorm.
I made sure to set up the appointment for during the day as I didn't want her to figure out my name from the security desk where you have to give your ID to go up into the building past the lobby. I get to her room and she answers the door and jesus christ is she huge. Easily makes me look like a small guy, and she was taller too. It felt like I was Princess Leia with a dick about to stick it into Jabba's sand pussy. Holy **** what was I getting myself into?
We sit on her bed and have some awkward small talk, she whips out a bowl and we smoke. Eventually she asks me if this was the first time I'd answered an ad like that (it was) and I ask her the same (it wasn't) and catching this as a queue I whip my dick out and she gets to work. This was honestly the best blow job I've ever received. She did everything perfect, from working the head and the shaft, cupping the balls, doing crazy shit with her tongue. If everything that happened after didn't happen, I would've called her forever for blowjobs. She even said she loved giving them, and could do it for hours.
Eventually though she wants to get ****ed, and I was not ready for what came next. She gave me a condom and while I strapped it on she assumed the doggy position and this awful, foul stench seeped out of her pussy. It was a combination of general lack of hygeine, a history of abuse, and maybe an STD. (I got checked afterwards, if there was one there...thank god for condoms.) For a second I froze; all my instincts told me to get all my clothing on and run out of there.
While I hesitated she popped up and said "oops, forgot something!" and went under her bed. From there she pulled out a giant, black and red tarp and laid it over the bed.
"Uh...what the **** is this?" I asked.
"I'm a bit of a squirter."
Instinct to run: gone. At this point I had never been with a squirter, and even though this woman was foul in all other way, I manned up and got behind there. As I entered, it didn't feel good and the smell got worse but I kept on trucking. Meanwhile she's honking and hollering and I am starting to gag. Literally gagging as I'm humping this behemoth. I grab my shirt and wrap it around my face and it barely helps, but that little bit is keeping my lunch in my stomach so I continue.
She turns back as I'm ****ing her doggy to see me now wearing this shirt as a face-mask bandana thing, and somehow this turns her on and she starts orgasm. And I was not ready for what came next.
"I'm a bit of a squirter"
A geyser erupted. Juice literally exploded from her vagina, and everything behind her was covered: me, the tarp, the bed posts, the wall, her random goth-band posters, her desk from the splash, my clothes on the floor the same way...if it was in the line of sight of that vagina, it was covered. I pulled out and surveyed the damage for a second and momentarily freaked out.
"Jesus christ, what the **** just happened?"
"I'm not done."
Without hesitation I jumped back in and for the next hour, maybe two hours I humped the shit out of her in every position possible, catching the worse angles and grinding against the grosses of boils while she covered everything in that room with cum. She hit the ****ing ceiling at one point, it was like someone cut the major cum artery.
It was absurd and, while one of the grossest experiences of my life, one of the greatest as well. She was one of the most disgusting people I've ever met and for sure the most disgusting I ever ****ed, but making someone cum like they're Ol' Faithful for hours on end made me feel like a man in some ****ed up way. Yeah, that was MY dick that was making you gush, ha ha ha! Someone give me a steak!
When we were done she sucked my dick until I came. I only came once. The smell was so grotesque that I had a hard enough time not puking let alone staying hard while we were ****ing; by the end, though, I was so tired from all the work I put in I pretty much was half asleep in a puddle of her nasty-ass vagina juice while she sucked every last drop from my dick. It was insane.
I put my clothes on, left, and grabbed a bus back to my apartment. When I sat down, a couple people actually got up and moved to another seat cause I smelled so bad, but I didn't care. A couple weeks later we met up and ****ed again at her place, but it wasn't the same, I focused more on her flaws instead of the insane surprise of that fire hydrant between her legs.
3 months later I bought acid from this kid and she knew him and came in during the deal, tripping herself. We went back to her room and she sucked my dick while the walls melted. After that I never saw or talked to her again.
tl;dr I ****ed jabba the ****, she was a squirter, holy christ. also, **** your stupid lochness monster
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