Media Resistance is Futile

[Dav]

​

With the recent allegations arising from the podcast and The Jesus' media thread, I feel like its time to clear the air about the Bears and our supposed involvement in the league. TJ accused us of manipulating All-SFA positions, bringing the league into disrepute and generally using our influence to negatively affect the league. I can assure you it is much more serious than that.

You might think truth is a banned substance, TJ, but I'm more than happy to deal it out for free. The Bears are the singular most influential group in the league, and we are not afraid to throw it around.

Do you think it was just a coincidence that the Bears came from nowhere in Season 25 to become one of the most active clubs in the league last season? No club has had as many successful rookies in one season. Our captain won another Beez, in an absolute landslide. It wasn't even remotely close. We also dominated the EKA with a 1-2 finish, and made very sure 3 of us made the All-SFA squad. But awards are just an added bonus, a way to reward ourselves, I guess. Our real influence lies in the running of the league itself. We have people everywhere, in every facet of the league.

At the very top is JoshWoodenSpoon, the committee rep. He wanted gender neutral commentary, so it was immediately implemented. He wanted the player movement rules to remain loose so we could move Barrybran to the Gumbies, so they remained loose. In fact, most of Cloud_'s policies in the last 3 seasons have been heavily influenced or outright directed by JWS, who sits in the shadows carefully cultivating his beloved image while you all continue to give him beez votes. Through the podcasts and match posting, he affects your thoughts and opinions on the league and himself, soothing you with his velvet voice whilst feeding you our glorious propaganda.

Doctor Gero is our man in the simming committee, ensuring that select results go our way if we so choose. In Season 26 trade week, TJASTA refused to trade us Tigerturbulance for gordo2016. Gero ensured that the Furies would make it all the way to the Grand Final before brutally wiping them off the field, and then rolling that form into this season. And just for fun, we sent Barrybran to rebrand them in the off-season. From a cursory glance, their new logo and guernsey looks quite good. But if you look closely, you'll see we included an element in both the logo and guernsey that undermines the entire Furies organisation as well as TJASTA himself. The Warriors will win the Season 27 premiership, by the way. And after just one season, I assumed the role as the league's statistician (thanks for that Josh). I control the playing stats of everyone in the league and ultimately it is me that can dictate who makes All-SFA and who falls short. I can add or remove stats from any player that pleases or angers me. Finally, we have agents in other clubs. Dingster has effectively made the Wonders a vassal of the Bears, giving us an extra vote in the committee and another respected voice to help us shape opinion. We've also sent Barrybran to the Gumbies, as I mentioned earlier, to begin the process there.

So that should clear up some of the conjecture about the Bears and our meddling. We are the most influential team in the league, and don't forget it.

who ever likes this will get a +10% increase on all season stats

 

[Test Tickle]

Best S27 media piece.

 

[Ned_Flanders]

Best S27 media piece.

not a high bar

 

[I Dont Care]

not a high bar

About time you started some type of goon related media thread involving laughing at NaturalDisaster to raise it? Wouldn't hurt in any case

 

[TJASTA]

how could i refuse a trade as vc? i think i have found the plothole

 

[U2tigers]

FFS

Bombers please make some media threads.

I am sick of the Bears crap already.

 

[Tigerturbulance]

how could i refuse a trade as vc? i think i have found the plothole

don't spoil it, I like where Cadaver is going with this

 

[Ned_Flanders]

About time you started some type of goon related media thread involving laughing at NaturalDisaster to raise it? Wouldn't hurt in any case

im dry - sanction for defeat

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Doctor Gero is our man in the simming committee, ensuring that select results go our way if we so choose. In Season 26 trade week, TJASTA refused to trade us Tigerturbulance for gordo2016. Gero ensured that the Furies would make it all the way to the Grand Final before brutally wiping them off the field, and then rolling that form into this season. And just for fun, we sent Ba that NDErrybran to rebrand them in the off-season. From a cursory glance, their new logo andst shadow ewffects guernsey looks quite good. But if you look closely, you'll see we included an element in both the logo and guernsey that undermines the entire Furies organisation as well as TJASTA himself.

First there was toast that had The Jesus's image,

and now with with the use of my specially designed cyber-space forensic tool I have investigated the claim by Cadaver that the Furies jumper is cursed.
Judge for yourselves, is that just shadow from the photo shoot or something more sinister, look at the magnification of the jumper and you be the judge

 

[TJASTA]

this should be one of many for Cadaver

 

[Wosh]

how could i refuse a trade as vc? i think i have found the plothole

No, that would be the Warriors winning a Premiership. I almost believed until then.

 

[Dav]

No, that would be the Warriors winning a Premiership. I almost believed until then.

We can make other arrangements.

 

[Wosh]

We can make other arrangements.

I’ve resigned myself to collecting every badge on Bigfooty except that little gold cup. Meh.

 

[I Dont Care]

I’ve resigned myself to collecting every badge on Bigfooty except that little gold cup. Meh.

I had one of them badges! But then it disappeared

 

[Ned_Flanders]

I’ve resigned myself to collecting every badge on Bigfooty except that little gold cup. Meh.

I look forward to awarding you your naturaldumbarse endorsement for shitty media then (or have I already done that?)

 

[Wosh]

I look forward to awarding you your naturaldumbarse endorsement for shitty media then (or have I already done that?)

I never know wtf you’re talking about any more than you do, so no idea.

 

[philreich]

I’ve resigned myself to collecting every badge on Bigfooty except that little gold cup. Meh.

I'm sure many Roys players thought the same thing until a couple of seasons ago.

 

[Dav]

FFS

Bombers please make some media threads.

I am sick of the Bears crap already.

Highly ironic from the Wonder.

 

[fumbler]

Once me and JackNah_8 are the rulers of this place, cadaver will be a distant insignificant memory of some vegan millennials.

Then we will rejoice with muffins

 

[JackNah_8]

Once me and JackNah_8 are the rulers of this place, cadaver will be a distant insignificant memory of some vegan millennials.

Then we will rejoice with muffins

When are we taking over the league?

I can't wait to tell rfctiger74

 

[Ned_Flanders]

I never know wtf you’re talking about any more than you do, so no idea.

It's the sobriety

 

[WaynesWorld19]

FFS

Bombers please make some media threads.

I am sick of the Bears crap already.

Finally some appreciation .......

 

[WaynesWorld19]

Highly ironic from the Wonder.

Think you're living in yester-year if you truly believe the Bears are influential in any way .....by any definition the Bombers are the most influential ....the admin spends more time looking at the Bombers than any other club

 

[WaynesWorld19]

Once me and JackNah_8 are the rulers of this place, cadaver will be a distant insignificant memory of some vegan millennials.

Then we will rejoice with muffins

So is one season of media whoring ....deserved of any recognition at all .....surely there has to be longevity in the league B4 you're remembered

 

[Broken]

I especially like the part where the Bears removed some of their ribs to aid in their autofellation.