ROYAL RUMBLE V: Main Event

[Marlowe]

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM POSTING UNTIL IT’S YOUR F**KING TIME

RULES

1. Start time and date sent via PM, there may well be a warning of the start time prior.

2. Entrants will be put into a hat and their individual start times will be posted. There will be predetermined hourly gaps between each entrant (closed between 9 p.m. to 9 a.m.). All times will be AEDT.

3. Entrants have to post at least once in 24 hours after figuratively entering the ring or they will be eliminated. Either the judges will see this, or however, you may earn yourself an elimination if you first point it out to the judges after X hours has expired that another player has failed to post. First in, best-dressed. (I love this rule).

4. Posting before your designated start time will see you be red carded immediately. You must post in the 24-hour window starting from your designated entrance time.

5. If you are eliminated your name will appear followed by a picture of a red card. You will not be able to post again and if you do, you will feel the wrath of the Sweet FA admin who will come down on you like the hammer of Thor, and the thunder of their vengeance will echo through these corridors like the gust of a thousand winds. There will be a side-thread for discussion. Take it there. Don't be a dick.

6. Only the judge and entered posters will be allowed to post once it officially gets under way. Seriously. Don’t be a dick, dude. C’mon.

7. You must be affiliated with a team in the SFA or, have recently departed one to be eligible to compete.

8. Above all else, personal attacks and unacceptable comments towards each other will see yourself being the person carded.

9. The judge’s decision will be final.



ENTRANTS;

Jan 7:-

#1. Hatchy1992 9 a.m.
#2. PVF 9 a.m.
#3. okeydoke7 9 a.m.
#4. zackah9 a.m.
#5. Frankston Rover 11 a.m.
#6. Nakia 1 p.m.
#7. Citroin 3 p.m.
#8. Footypie32 5 p.m.
#9. Andonis1997 7 p.m.
#10. ClarkeM 9 p.m.
#11. gym4life 9 p.m.


Jan 8:-

#12. Golumless 9 a.m.
#13. RU_ 11 a.m.
#14. LicoruceAllsorts 1 p.m.
#15. brahj 3 p.m.
#16. BigJoeD_ 5 p.m.
#17. Blacky 7 p.m.
#18. The Filth Wizard 9 p.m.


Jan 9:-

#19. Millky95 9 a.m.
#20. toxic 11 a.m.
#21. Easty 1 p.m.
#22. Karnezis_13 3 p.m.
#23. Quivorir 5 p.m.
#24. Gee Dub 7 p.m.
#25. HaroLad9 p.m.

 

[Hatchy1992]

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

Entering the ring in at #1, Hatchy1992 appears from backstage keen to build from the promising foundations he created in his debut rumble with multiple eliminations of Son of God although they were deemed invalid.


As we await the second entrant we have Hatchy sitting on the turnbuckles taunting his awaiting opponent

 

[zackah]

HELLO RUMBLE BITCHES!!

get the good ones out of the way early I guess!

I must say I am very proud to be a participant this year. The rumble and the sfa in general needs diversity to grow. Thoughts and opinions of those with different backgrounds and experience all help us grow as a community. As one of (the only?) the comps only gainfully employed flogs I bring a wealth of experience not developed by 12 hours of Xbox per day. I hope you will enjoy it (may not care).

I will endeavour this year not to uppercut myself over the top rope like last year but I make no guarantees.

Sincerely, z.

* may not post much more until tonight - you know, that whole I have a job thing.

 

[okeydoke7]

#3
​

Well, you may have heard of me before. I don't need an introduction, though there's a good chance I'll give you one.

I've participated in 2 Royal Rumbles. In Royal Rumble II I won, having made the first elimination and the last elimination of the rumble. A feat I hope to emulate. I knocked out 1/3 of the competition single handedly. In Royal Rumble IV I was eliminated by the eventual winner in Marlowe, for 24 hours without a post. My bad. A mistake I won't make again, and a mistake that gifted Marlowe a win by eliminating the biggest threat.

But here we are in the 5th Rumble, and I couldn't be any more confident. I didn't quite know what to expect, until I found this:

HELLO RUMBLE BITCHES!!

get the good ones out of the way early I guess!

I must say I am very proud to be a participant this year. The rumble and the sfa in general needs diversity to grow. Thoughts and opinions of those with different backgrounds and experience all help us grow as a community. As one of (the only?) the comps only gainfully employed flogs I bring a wealth of experience not developed by 12 hours of Xbox per day. I hope you will enjoy it (may not care).

I will endeavour this year not to uppercut myself over the top rope like last year but I make no guarantees.

Sincerely, z.

* may not post much more until tonight - you know, that whole I have a job thing.

You start by referring to us as "rumble bitches" before talking about how proud you are to be a participant in it. You're proud just to participate? You posted in the ****ing sign up thread that you wanted to be a part of it. Nobody chose you. You weren't drafted. Marlowe didn't sit there devising the best possible 25 candidates and thinking to himself "well, we'd best get zackah in, that's who we are really missing here." YOU SIGNED UP TO THE BLOODY THING.

Have some ambition. I almost feel sorry for you. You've missed the memo, I suppose, that you need to come in firing or you will quickly be put on your ass. There's no room for the meek and mild in this competition, and being "proud" to be a participant will not get you anywhere.

I'll be proud to win the thing. That's the ambition. That's my aim. Any less would be a disappointment. I certainly am not proud of the fact I get a participation ribbon all because I posted that I wanted to play with the big boys.

What is this shit about diversity and rainbows doing in a rumble? IT'S A RUMBLE! And who the hell possibly gave you a job? It's hard to believe there's actually someone more stupid than yourself.

Sincerely, o.

*no wait, that's a shit way to finish a post.

 

[Frankston Rover]

I guess my reputation precedes me...

All I've found is three pairs of soiled shorts.

Is anyone here?

 

[okeydoke7]

I guess my reputation precedes me...

All I've found is three pairs of soiled shorts.

Is anyone here?

Well I wasn't going to double post. Hatchy1992 was vanilla and zackah was horrendous. I've said what I needed to say about Zackah's underwhelming entrance.

What a ****ing disgusting start to a Royal Rumble. Worst in a long, long time.

As a result of the horrid start and lack of replies, your entrance was greatly overrated. A smart ass remark about the 3 that have actually managed to enter the ring while others hide. In fairness, the first two did sweet **** all in their entrances. 8 people are eligible to be involved at the moment yet only 3 had posted before your remark. Maybe the ones that haven't even shown their faces are the ones with the soiled shorts.

The good news is, it is nearly the end of the working day for zackah so he can come and meet his immediate doom.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Well I wasn't going to double post. Hatchy1992 was vanilla and zackah was horrendous. I've said what I needed to say about Zackah's underwhelming entrance.

What a ******* disgusting start to a Royal Rumble. Worst in a long, long time.

As a result of the horrid start and lack of replies, your entrance was greatly overrated. A smart ass remark about the 3 that have actually managed to enter the ring while others hide. In fairness, the first two did sweet **** all in their entrances. 8 people are eligible to be involved at the moment yet only 3 had posted before your remark. Maybe the ones that haven't even shown their faces are the ones with the soiled shorts.

The good news is, it is nearly the end of the working day for zackah so he can come and meet his immediate doom.

Are you sick, okey? That's the shortest post I've seen you make.

 

[okeydoke7]

Are you sick, okey? That's the shortest post I've seen you make.

I could have had a stroke, been mostly paralysed, confined to a wheelchair and only able to communicate via a bell and I could still take out anyone in this ring. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

 

[Frankston Rover]

I could have had a stroke, been mostly paralysed, confined to a wheelchair and only able to communicate via a bell and I could still take out anyone in this ring. I've done it before and I'll do it again.

Reading your posts, it's quite obvious you've been having a stroke for quite some time now...

It's been great of you to introduce everyone but I'm pretty sure the "Washed Up Hack" role is being played by The Filth Wizard this season.

See you next Rumble.

 

[okeydoke7]

Reading your posts, it's quite obvious you've been having a stroke for quite some time now...

It's been great of you to introduce everyone but I'm pretty sure the "Washed Up Hack" role is being played by The Filth Wizard this season.

See you next Rumble.

See you next Rumble? You've had enough already FR? I thought Frankston boys would be made a little more resilient to be honest. I don't know how you've survived. If you're going to rumble the way your locals play football, I wouldn't be surprised if you've tucked a knife into your socks.

It's a shame you've brought a knife to a gun fight.

Also, let's not tag people into this that can't defend themselves. It's a bit like the heroes in the discussion forum having a go before they have entered. We'll see how they go when their entrance time comes along.

I'll ensure you end up in the wheelchair this time with the rest of them. Perhaps more pertinent than a stroke, I will ensure a nervous breakdown is the end of you.

Not just you, either. The underwhelming Hatchy1992, the disgraceful entrant in zackah who I already have dangling from the ropes, and the 4 pissants that are in hiding and haven't even bothered to enter yet. They're the ones with the real soiled shorts.

 

[Hatchy1992]

Hey fella's i'm still here. Coming in at #1 wasn't ideal but I'm still intending to uphold my own against the likes of 2 past it hacks like yourselves.

When zackah entered in at #2 that was a load of bull. I was looking forward to a bit more competition. I held up well against SOG last year and i'm looking forward to building from that. In fact, if it wasn't for a rigged rumble, he was gone.

HELLO RUMBLE BITCHES!!

get the good ones out of the way early I guess!

I must say I am very proud to be a participant this year. The rumble and the sfa in general needs diversity to grow. Thoughts and opinions of those with different backgrounds and experience all help us grow as a community. As one of (the only?) the comps only gainfully employed flogs I bring a wealth of experience not developed by 12 hours of Xbox per day. I hope you will enjoy it (may not care).

I will endeavour this year not to uppercut myself over the top rope like last year but I make no guarantees.

Sincerely, z.

* may not post much more until tonight - you know, that whole I have a job thing.

Ha! A wealth of experience? Who are you? I do remember your overenthusiastic participation last year where you oh so quick to knock yourself out. If you want to make a bigger impression this time around (although i'm not sure if you could or not) you've got yourself a a hell of a lot of work to do. Why don't you get off your x-box and come out of hiding? Hiding in the corner isn't going to work well. It might on x-box, but not here.

If you can't make any guarantees why even enter in the first place? I will enjoy witnessing the first elimination of this years event. Go home buddy. Your done.

 

[Frankston Rover]

See you next Rumble? You've had enough already FR? I thought Frankston boys would be made a little more resilient to be honest. I don't know how you've survived. If you're going to rumble the way your locals play football, I wouldn't be surprised if you've tucked a knife into your socks.

It's a shame you've brought a knife to a gun fight.

Also, let's not tag people into this that can't defend themselves. It's a bit like the heroes in the discussion forum having a go before they have entered. We'll see how they go when their entrance time comes along.

I'll ensure you end up in the wheelchair this time with the rest of them. Perhaps more pertinent than a stroke, I will ensure a nervous breakdown is the end of you.

Not just you, either. The underwhelming Hatchy1992, the disgraceful entrant in zackah who I already have dangling from the ropes, and the 4 pissants that are in hiding and haven't even bothered to enter yet. They're the ones with the real soiled shorts.

Yawn.

I'm not sure what's more pathetic. The people who haven't posted or your hamfisted efforts.

This stuff might have been 'cutting edge' back in Season 12 but, much like your career, we've all moved on.

If you want to continue waving your knob around the ring, please go right ahead. I'll wait over here for when a real opponent decides to turn up.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Hey fella's i'm still here. Coming in at #1 wasn't ideal but I'm still intending to uphold my own against the likes of 2 past it hacks like yourselves.

When zackah entered in at #2 that was a load of bull. I was looking forward to a bit more competition. I held up well against SOG last year and i'm looking forward to building from that. In fact, if it wasn't for a rigged rumble, he was gone.


Ha! A wealth of experience? Who are you? I do remember your overenthusiastic participation last year where you oh so quick to knock yourself out. If you want to make a bigger impression this time around (although i'm not sure if you could or not) you've got yourself a a hell of a lot of work to do. Why don't you get off your x-box and come out of hiding? Hiding in the corner isn't going to work well. It might on x-box, but not here.

If you can't make any guarantees why even enter in the first place? I will enjoy witnessing the first elimination of this years event. Go home buddy. Your done.

Is there a shallow end of the ring?

That's where you need to be, sunshine.

 

[okeydoke7]

Hey fella's i'm still here. Coming in at #1 wasn't ideal but I'm still intending to uphold my own against the likes of 2 past it hacks like yourselves.

When zackah entered in at #2 that was a load of bull. I was looking forward to a bit more competition. I held up well against SOG last year and i'm looking forward to building from that. In fact, if it wasn't for a rigged rumble, he was gone.


Ha! A wealth of experience? Who are you? I do remember your overenthusiastic participation last year where you oh so quick to knock yourself out. If you want to make a bigger impression this time around (although i'm not sure if you could or not) you've got yourself a a hell of a lot of work to do. Why don't you get off your x-box and come out of hiding? Hiding in the corner isn't going to work well. It might on x-box, but not here.

If you can't make any guarantees why even enter in the first place? I will enjoy witnessing the first elimination of this years event. Go home buddy. Your done.

You're*

But I can agree with you. Zackah's entrance was abhorrent. His opening post was so bad he has just about eliminated himself. Only 4 of us have shown our faces and we already need to clear out the deadwood. Zackah, you're gone mate. But at least you can be "proud" of being an entrant.

For the record Hatchy, you won't win this rumble by complaining about rigged rumbles. Cop out.

Yawn.

I'm not sure what's more pathetic. The people who haven't posted or your hamfisted efforts.

This stuff might have been 'cutting edge' back in Season 12 but, much like your career, we've all moved on.

If you want to continue waving your knob around the ring, please go right ahead. I'll wait over here for when a real opponent decides to turn up.

Well I wasn't really around in Season 12, so I'm not sure what "cutting edge" was back then. I suppose I'm like you, I had a period of relevance in Seasons 9-11 and then another period of relevance in Seasons 15-present.

You were relevant back when you had your one season as admin. You disappeared and of course absence made the heart grow fonder. Then you wanted to return, but there were obstacles. The main obstacles were the Sweet FA captains, who could not vote with a majority to accept your return with the Warriors.

So your entire future in this competition all fell into my hands. And you begged and you pleaded and you grovelled, and I was your maker. I brought you back to life. The lord giveth, the lord taketh away.

Also, "I'll wait over here for when a real opponent decides to turn up" is easily translated in rumble talk to: "I've had enough of this exchange now, and would like to preserve myself, because I'm running out of things to say and should pick on an easier opponent."

 

[Hatchy1992]

Is there a shallow end of the ring?

That's where you need to be, sunshine.

The "shallow end of the ring" as you put it is reserved for those irrelevant nufties who are still cowering backstage. This is for the big boys.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Well I wasn't really around in Season 12, so I'm not sure what "cutting edge" was back then. I suppose I'm like you, I had a period of relevance in Seasons 9-11 and then another period of relevance in Seasons 15-present.

You were relevant back when you had your one season as admin. You disappeared and of course absence made the heart grow fonder. Then you wanted to return, but there were obstacles. The main obstacles were the Sweet FA captains, who could not vote with a majority to accept your return with the Warriors.

So your entire future in this competition all fell into my hands. And you begged and you pleaded and you grovelled, and I was your maker. I brought you back to life. The lord gives, the lord taketh away.

Also, "I'll wait over here for when a real opponent decides to turn up" is easily translated in rumble talk to: "I've had enough of this exchange now, and would like to preserve myself, because I'm running out of things to say and should pick on an easier opponent."

Did you win that Rumble by boring people to death?

I've been in the ring with you now for about 20 minutes and so far you haven't stopped talking.

And as much as I like being on "This is your Life" in slow motion, I've got bigger fish to fry. We all know the only decent decision you made in your entire Admin career was letting us in. The Warriors ARE the Sweet FA nowadays. As for the rest of your time at the top, I've seen more leadership from Captain Schettino.

Maybe you could give Hatchy1992 a 20 minute monologue on how you solved world hunger and cured cancer just by sniffing your own farts?

 

[okeydoke7]

Did you win that Rumble by boring people to death?

I've been in the ring with you now for about 20 minutes and so far you haven't stopped talking.

And as much as I like being on "This is your Life" in slow motion, I've got bigger fish to fry. We all know the only decent decision you made in your entire Admin career was letting us in. The Warriors ARE the Sweet FA nowadays. As for the rest of your time at the top, I've seen more leadership from Captain Schettino.

Maybe you could give Hatchy1992 a 20 minute monologue on how you solved world hunger and cured cancer just by sniffing your own farts?

So first you come in and complain about nobody talking, then you complain that there's too much talking?

This is going around in circles a little.

You're right though. The Warriors are a big deal nowadays. In fact, ever since you quit as captain they became relevant. And their quality improved. You can't really argue with that, as you've just admitted they "are the SFA NOWADAYS."

Don't pretend it's just me that can type the long-winder. We had to sit through your incessant whining about the Grand Final result of Season 19. A grown man complaining about another grown man possibly rigging the sim. You droned on and on and on and on and on and on and on. And I could go on. But I won't.

When it comes to leadership, you could learn a thing or two off me to be honest. You were admin for one season and couldn't handle it any longer, the league wasn't doing so amazing, someone better took on the job and "fixed" the league. You put together a bunch of bay 13 flogs and had to grovel for entry, you only got in because I gave you the chance, the club were disliked, but they came good when you finally handed the leadership over to someone more competent.

Sounds like everything improves when you hand the leadership over to someone else. Someone more capable.

 

[Footypie32]

Hatchy1992

Came in early talking about something that nobody else remembers from previous Rumbles and then tried flying under the radar. The oldest trick in the book.

Definitely suspicious IMO.

 

[okeydoke7]

Hatchy1992

Came in early talking about something that nobody else remembers from previous Rumbles and then tried flying under the radar. The oldest trick in the book.

Definitely suspicious IMO.

What entrance number are you Footypie?

 

[Footypie32]

What entrance number are you Footypie?

Number #8.

 

[okeydoke7]

Number #8.

PS - The "#" thing means you don't need to write "number."

 

[Hatchy1992]

Hatchy1992

Came in early talking about something that nobody else remembers from previous Rumbles and then tried flying under the radar. The oldest trick in the book.

Definitely suspicious IMO.

Hey buddy,

Talking about Werewolf in a Rumble? This isn't a game. It's real life. And if you don't want to take it seriously, you need to rethink why you entered in the first place.

Back to Werewolf for you. Your another irrelevant entrant that needs to be tossed over the ropes.

<-<-<-Werewolf game is that way

 

[Citroin]

Well hello everyone! I'm in, just like as it goes with the ladies. The Rumble will provide me with no challenge, no changes there.

 

[Hatchy1992]

Well hello everyone! I'm in, just like as it goes with the ladies. The Rumble will provide me with no challenge, no changes there.

I'm sure the ladies will be impressed when your tossed out just as quickly as you entered.

You wanted a challenge eh? Why didn't you stay and fight for a position at the Hawks and prove you deserve to be considered prominent? Instead you took the easy way out and decided to go for a change of scenery. This match isn't for the feint hearted.

 

[Footypie32]

Hey buddy,

Talking about Werewolf in a Rumble? This isn't a game. It's real life. And if you don't want to take it seriously, you need to rethink why you entered in the first place.

Back to Werewolf for you. Your another irrelevant entrant that needs to be tossed over the ropes.

<-<-<-Werewolf game is that way

Ugh, you have no imagination. But hey, look who I'm talking to; the captain of the most boring team in the league. No surprises really. Please keep telling me just how to treat the Rumble though; it's a really good tactic. You must be a real expert on RRs if you almost knocked Soggy out many times. Tell me more about your almost victories...



*You're