SMS messages...

[oh_my_hat]

*bump* anyone received any good sms messages lately to add to this list?

 

[Kid Dynamite!]

Got some a while back, been sitting in my outbox for yonks 'cause they're just too funny!

"Why do cows look so depressed while being milked? Well if someone woke me up early, rubbed my **** for two hours and didnt **** me, I'd be ****ed off too!"

"Optus would like to advise that your birth was a mistake. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience. Thankyou."

"You're summoned to Cupids Court for being sexy as hell and invading my fantasies. If found guilty, you are sentenced to five hours of passionate sex. How do you plead?"

 

[evade28]

picture of a chicks **** followed by 'do not lick the screen, the fone is not waterproof'

 

[lioness]

I got a flashing one that says 'Masturbation can disturb your vision........'

 

[topdon]

This is my personal fav:

"

 

[topdon]

This is my personal fav:

"WHAT DO A DECK OF CARDS & A WOMAN HAVE IN COMMON? ----> U NEED A HEART 2 LUV HER, A DIAMOND 2 MARRY HER, A CLUB 2 BEAT HER, & A SPADE TO BURY THE B!TCH"

 

[Mooster7]

Originally posted by lioness22
I got a flashing one that says 'Masturbation can disturb your vision........'

Is that what it said?

 

[Hawkers_here]

Originally posted by topdon
This is my personal fav:

"

Before I read the post after this I was trying to get the joke lol...thought it might've been the KISS principle

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

Originally posted by NICK THE PIE MAN
An absolute gem.

"Hi, this is your mobile. I just wanted to get out of your pockets for awhile because the stink coming from your testicals is atrocious. I think your penis shrivelling up."

LOL
Classic


I have had a few funny, and I say funny as in haha, sms messages in my time. They are too rude to post up here though.

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by goaldrush
They are too rude to post up here though.

Awwwwww c'mon Suzi........

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

Originally posted by lioness22
Awwwwww c'mon Suzi........

No. I will not be posting them on here.

there are some other ones that are ok.

I got one from one of the guys here and it said "Pull My Finger"

 

[BomberGal]

I like this one:

This time I'm sure about what I feel & I'm gonna say it.
*scroll* (and scroll between each line here)

I

I l

I lo

I lov

I love

I love y

I love yo

I love young guys with huge ****s


also:
GOD created the world in SIX days but it took him CENTURIES...

to come up with someone...

as "hot"

as "sexy"

as "f***able"

...........AS ME!

I used to have another one, can't remember exactly how it goes now, but something like:

2 4 6 8, feeling horny can't wait, 3 5 7 9 want your body next to mine, q r s t come and lay on top of me, u v w x call me when you feel like sex!

 

[Renegade]

police just found the corpse of a badly burnt male without a brain and a minute penis, text me back so i know you're ok!

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

Originally posted by vanders
Suzi, i think you mean 'what do they have in common?'

No it was posted exactly as I posted it. I copied it from my phone.

 

[Lockyer24]

Funniest one I got was from a friend..went something like

<Searching your phone book for hot bitches...>
.
.
.
<Still searching...>
.
.
.
<NONE FOUND!>
.
<Suspected sexuality: Homosexual!>

 

[roosforever]

Originally posted by Lockyer24
Funniest one I got was from a friend..went something like

<Searching your phone book for hot bitches...>
.
.
.
<Still searching...>
.
.
.
<NONE FOUND!>
.
<Suspected sexuality: Homosexual!>

That is Great!
All of these are so funny, there must be more good ones out there.

 

[the fly]

I'm a little mouse named Keith
I circumcise men with my teeth
I don't do it for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
But just for the cheese underneath

 

[Tigers_Goddess]

NEWSFLASH
Police are looking for someone described as gorgeous, sexy, intelligent, funny and amazing in bed. You're safe - But where the **** am I gonna hide??!

We will now upgrade your SEXLIFE, please wait...
Searching...
Searching...
Still searching...
ERROR: No SEXLIFE found, sorry!

Come over here, take off your undies and get on top of me. Enjoy me until you are satisfied.... Lovingly yours,

|
"''|___ "TOILET"
_.("""")
__)__(

 

[vanders]

"Hey whats wrong with your phone? I keep trying to call you and it says "Operator having sex, wait your turn"

 

[Nicski]

Originally posted by Kid Dynamite!

"You're summoned to Cupids Court for being sexy as hell and invading my fantasies. If found guilty, you are sentenced to five hours of passionate sex. How do you plead?"

Love it, did someone "sexy as hell" send this to you?

My lastest is a "great" pickup line which has probably been done to death:

Do you like whales?

next screen

How bout a humpback at my place?


Dodgy I know.

 

[carn_the_nmfc]

Originally posted by the fly
I'm a little mouse named Keith
I circumcise men with my teeth
I don't do it for leisure
Or sexual pleasure
But just for the cheese underneath

lol

 

[coxon]

i bought a palestinian sex doll the
other day... when i got home, the
f*cker blew itself up !

 

[masked magpie]

bump

 

[Kid Dynamite!]

Originally posted by Nicski
Love it, did someone "sexy as hell" send this to you?

I don't know who you're thinking of but I never get anyone messaging me, let alone someone who's "sexy as hell" I just scabbed it out of my mates phone.

 

[maccas_no1]

This is a great thread, pity I dont have any good ones to share with ya's but those that have keep em coming