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Song Contest Part XII, Host: roo2macca, Theme: Precious Gems/Metals Noms Due: Monday 8:00pm AEST

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When I was in Singapore, I wrote out ten postcards to send home. My hand was killing me by the end of it! I simply don't handwrite much at all anymore, suffice for shopping lists and random notes. Kinda sad really :(

Yeah I think that's one of the reasons my handwriting has gone to shit as I don't practice it as much as I used to back in school, I barely write at all nowadays and when I do it's mix between printing and running writing which resembles a scribble.
 

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IMO Lungs is a bit of a dodgy nom. You don't go to hospital because you have lungs. It would be like nominating ZZ Top's Legs because something could be wrong with your legs.
You'll hear the word "lungs" in hospital more than anywhere else I can think of.
 
This is what Ula was looking for.

Theme: The Hospital.
Titles that include something you associate with hospitals.

I want things/people you find in a hospital. Not how you feel about them.

Lungs, flowers both good. Someone said they had banana knocked back. Not sure why. Fruit baskets are a popular gift in lieu of flowers.
 

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This is what Ula was looking for.





Lungs, flowers both good. Someone said they had banana knocked back. Not sure why. Fruit baskets are a popular gift in lieu of flowers.
No bananas nommed. Was using it as an example. You're right though.
 
While we wait lets present one of our more puzzling admissions for our resident doctor(s)?
Our medical team here at Ulahoopski General are arguing amongst themselves with several different diagnoses being put forward. Our admission notes for the patient by the name of "Carcass" are as follow:

Miasmic fungus infests the small intestine
Vitriolic juices burn through the stomach wall
Bursting carcinosis as chylase melts your guts
Crepitating neoplasm erupts with gore...

Maturating boils, the canker emmenagogic
Grume decays to a frothing sludge
Dermatital pustules suppurate with cancer
Caustic sepsis coagulates the blood...

Necrolytic digestion, rancid plasma is released
Automaceration of the carcass incites pyogenesis
Globular tissue decomposed, hydrogen sulphide is evolved
Reek of putrefaction secreted by necrotrophic mould...

Excrete and disgorge the festering pus
As your skin erupts with corrosive decay
Urticaria vents infested sanies
Slime from burst ulcers spurts and sprays...

The innards decompose, putrify to jelly
The dermis ruptures with sialagogic cruor
Green putrified offal explodes with the discharge
Bubbling viscera is splattered over the floor...

Visceral organs infested by rampant hungry larvae
Gnawing tattered giblets as sanies solidifies
Enterisis dissolves the gut, self-digestion is undergone
Autolysis of body tissue, enzymes macerate the bones...
[Solo: smeared organic mess] ...

Tumours erupt ...With infestation of grubs ...
Ulcerous carrion maturates ...
As the bacteria vitiates ...
Tumours erupt ...With infestation of grubs ...
Effervescing core ...Cankerous corpse

Any ideas MWPP ?

I personally think it's just a common cold.
 
Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pen and paper.



Why was the constipated accountant fired?

He just couldn't budget.



What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her handbag?

I wonder which arseh*le's got my pen.


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OOOOH MATRON
 
Murphy's ****ing law strikes again. First time I've hosted for months and my pc decides it's the perfect opportunity for this:
image.jpeg
 

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As long as I dont get Golden Staph I shall be happy.
This has given me a thought. Instead of the Billy, what about the Golden Staph? Or the MRSA?
 
This has given me a thought. Instead of the Billy, what about the Golden Staph? Or the MRSA?
Unfortunately some of the images are not that pretty. This is as much as I want to post as a possible avatar

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Boted

I think I need to be admitted to hospital for ear poisoning after listening to that playlist, some godawful stuff there.

Hopefully mine doesn't do the same in the next 2 and a half hours.

I usually postpone it when it tries to do updates as it takes bloody ages and you don't notice any difference when it's finished anyway.
 
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