Autopsy The famous 2024 Whipping Boy Thread

[sr36]

Which of our players do you think drank the most bathwater over summer.

I reckon it's the two "great stories" Cox and Oleg.

FFS. Stop telling them it's a great story. Tell them the truth. "You're pretty ******* s**t and have been for years.'

 

[frizzle]

It’s amazing how a first up loss can get the frothers in a frenzy.

It’s like the flag never happened.

There is a possibility you are missing the point of the thread. It's a piss take for almost all of us.

 

[jmac70]

There is a possibility you are missing the point of the thread. It's a piss take for almost all of us.

I know that, given I created the original one years ago.

 

[noideaatall]

I think Shultz is what you'd get if you put Checkers through an Oompa Loompa conversion machine. (I'm pretty sure that Bunnings stock them)

Given that Checkers is an Oompa Loompa version of a full sized KF this is concerning. I blame fly and all this happy clappy scheisse. Apparently empowered people believe themselves taller than they are. Need a coach willing to cut their platform shoes down to size.

 

[frizzle]

I know that, given I created the original one years ago.

Then what's with the - It's as if the flag never happened line? Is there somebody in particular the comment was aimed at?

 

[jmac70]

Then what's with the - It's as if the flag never happened line? Is there somebody in particular the comment was aimed at?

Just a general comment aimed at the mouth breathers in the game day thread.

 

[manicpie]

There was a cult hero of Russian origin who was pretty bloody awful last night.

RASPUTIN?

 

[Markfs]

Cox aint going anywhere. We need Cox against Grundy. I feel like Cameron is going to get easily out-bodied by Grundy in the ruck contests. Grundy's tactics aren't going to work on Cox because of his reach.

Did you watch the game yesterday? The big american was effectively a witch's hat. I know he played his best games last year since 2018. Well, we're going to have to wait another 5 years until he plays another good game. If he wants to play the big strong man role by disrupting the opposition pregame, then he needs to grow a couple of gonads for the game.

 

[jmac70]

I think we can all agree that it’s time to bring back Bucks as playing coach.

 

[frizzle]

I think we can all agree that it’s time to bring back Bucks as playing coach.

I think Tony Shaw deserves another chance. This time we will keep his play book locked in a safe.

 

[memoryofmchale]

There is a possibility you are missing the point of the thread. It's a piss take for almost all of us.

“Almost all of us” … Jesse White has entered the chat.

 

[sr36]

I think we can all agree that it’s time to bring back Bucks as playing coach.

Fly's contract says he doesn't coach until Round 1, which is why the spuds coach the preseason games.

Buckley was coaching last night, hence the ******* shambles.

 

[Captivating]

It’s amazing how a first up loss can get the frothers in a frenzy.

It’s like the flag never happened.

you think this thread is bad, take a look at this frothy mess

Roast - Zero Round, Zero Clue

Zero round is not a great concept Dillion. Collingwood win the flag, and we play away in the first game to promote your team. We are going to bounce back and win it all anyway!

www.bigfooty.com

 

[noideaatall]

you think this thread is bad, take a look at this frothy mess

Roast - Zero Round, Zero Clue

Zero round is not a great concept Dillion. Collingwood win the flag, and we play away in the first game to promote your team. We are going to bounce back and win it all anyway!

www.bigfooty.com

I am over smashing frothies, too slow. I favour a cold white. Can't see the issues with this thread. In the face of an apocalypse posters have responded with calm, accurate analysis that paints a clear path forward.

1. The whole team needs to hold down Markov and shave those downward bits of his mo. Team building.
2. Sack the coach. There is a long precedent for teams improving once you get rid of the coach. Guaranteed way to improve our win loss ratio by end of season. Tony Shaw head of the line. Hell, bring back Mick.
3. Send Schulz to Germany for leg extensions. The current situation makes us a laughing stock and, lets face it, is downright discriminatory. Its on a par with dwarf throwing.
4. Get one of those super jumbos and squeeze Cox in. Send back to Texas as ambassador for Royal Shows. Or lock him in a petting zoo in the middle of the MCG and open it to all teams for a pat. Get some real anger going, not youtube likes.
5. Track down Charlie from the Choco Factory and get a reverse oompa loompa machine. Use on JB, bring him back as FF.

What other threads on this board have come close in their analysis? Not that one you linked.

 

[Sea fog]

Too many distractions for many in the off seaon. Less of this pouting and more punching onfield!

 

[northcotehead]

On Schultz:
They said explosive
They said fast
They said tackling machine
They said lock in 40 goals
Watched the game with Didak Wine who stubbornly defended him until that Tony Shaw style shot at goal.

 

[Markfs]

I am over smashing frothies, too slow. I favour a cold white. Can't see the issues with this thread. In the face of an apocalypse posters have responded with calm, accurate analysis that paints a clear path forward.

1. The whole team needs to hold down Markov and shave those downward bits of his mo. Team building.
2. Sack the coach. There is a long precedent for teams improving once you get rid of the coach. Guaranteed way to improve our win loss ratio by end of season. Tony Shaw head of the line. Hell, bring back Mick.
3. Send Schulz to Germany for leg extensions. The current situation makes us a laughing stock and, lets face it, is downright discriminatory. Its on a par with dwarf throwing.
4. Get one of those super jumbos and squeeze Cox in. Send back to Texas as ambassador for Royal Shows. Or lock him in a petting zoo in the middle of the MCG and open it to all teams for a pat. Get some real anger going, not youtube likes.
5. Track down Charlie from the Choco Factory and get a reverse oompa loompa machine. Use on JB, bring him back as FF.

What other threads on this board have come close in their analysis? Not that one you linked.

I can appreciate your lighthearted approach to football, but some of us are in a state of depression after yesterday. It's been months since our last win and I cant see that changing in the foreseeable future.

I havent been this depressed since an unwanted camper parked himself in my front yard and started using it as his latrine. The neighbourhood dogs might be happy but the stench is as bad as the crap radiating from the fly's press conferences. The gig is up, mate. That folksy casual attitude is about as palatable as an hour with steve irwin's son. I think Ash Johnson has infected the whole club with his "i dont care, I got my contract" attitude...

 

[Markfs]

View attachment 1924316Too many distractions for many in the off seaon. Less of this pouting and more punching onfield!

well at least we'll have a decent modelling team with will kelly, at the end of the season...

 

[jmac70]

you think this thread is bad, take a look at this frothy mess

Roast - Zero Round, Zero Clue

Zero round is not a great concept Dillion. Collingwood win the flag, and we play away in the first game to promote your team. We are going to bounce back and win it all anyway!

www.bigfooty.com

At least it’s aimed at the right person!

 

[Markfs]

Darcy Moore

30

Darcy Moore

Age

28

Ht

203cm

Wt

100kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.1

3star

K

7.0

3star

HB

4.1

3star

M

4.8

5star

T

1.6

4star

MG

169.1

3star

D

13.9

3star

K

7.3

3star

HB

6.6

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

0.7

1star

MG

182.0

3star

D

6.8

2star

K

4.2

2star

HB

2.6

3star

M

2.6

3star

T

1.8

4star

MG

87.4

2star

turned into a bunny in the headlights about a month before the finals started last year and he has only gotten worse since Tonto went down with a head knock in the grand final. I suspect he'll be in sydney drinking lattes by the end of next year...

 

[Markfs]

I know he's got artificial legs and other disabilities, but he had no reason to laugh after the match. If he had any, I'd tell him that it was time to put his shoulder to the wheel...

 

[noideaatall]

I can appreciate your lighthearted approach to football, but some of us are in a state of depression after yesterday. It's been months since our last win and I cant see that changing in the foreseeable future.

I havent been this depressed since an unwanted camper parked himself in my front yard and started using it as his latrine. The neighbourhood dogs might be happy but the stench is as bad as the crap radiating from the fly's press conferences. The gig is up, mate. That folksy casual attitude is about as palatable as an hour with steve irwin's son. I think Ash Johnson has infected the whole club with his "i dont care, I got my contract" attitude...

Markfs, I am afraid you are out of touch with current social values and the reality of your fanbase as a keyboard warrior. As an experienced landlord I can tell you unwanted tenants have every right to demand a portable toilet. Not there yet but bordering on fanatic.

I take this situation very seriously. I have sent a letter to brown i detailing the structure needed for Mason's petting zoo. Recommended they ring Kenny re oversize portable for Cox.

 

[Vicky Park]

View attachment 1924316Too many distractions for many in the off seaon. Less of this pouting and more punching onfield!

It’s not quite a pout - it’s pout-adjacent.

It’s also verging on sulky face, and we can’t have a sulky captain, although he might be sulking because he’s lost his jumper. The club is hopeless.

 

[Markfs]

It’s not quite a pout - it’s pout-adjacent.

It’s also verging on sulky face, and we can’t have a sulky captain, although he might be sulking because he’s lost his jumper. The club is hopeless.

it looks to me like he is undergoing "transformation"....

 

[Vicky Park]

it looks to me like he is undergoing "transformation"....

Transformation into what? A capable footballer?