Official Team Thread The Official Team Thread of the Gold City Royals - Season 33 - "On today's Royal agenda, digging up dirt clots to throw at our school chums

[PMBangers]

Attention friends, family and foes

I have literally just finished adding up all the BnF votes on my abacus and will be proceeding the presentation shortly. To the surprise of no one this is a largely procrastinated task, so instead of pre written stuff I'll be doing it on the go!

Hooray!

Love from Bangers

 

[PMBangers]

Round 1 v Baghdad Bombers
We started our Season 33 campaign by hosting the ever gracious Bombers at the Golden Throne, and whilst they have a reputation for being unsociable troglodytes, the Bombers actually weren't that bad for the most part. Whilst there were plenty of sly jabs thrown and words exchanged, the real story of the build up was an enthralling music debate between our own Ulahoopski and Noidenous (rip) which went for an astonishing 400 odd posts!

Unfortunately it seems the Royals spit all their fire pre-game as we went down by 29-points to the Bombers in our opener, continuing our long tradition of being s**t in our opening home game each season.

Debutant weltschmerz played well in their first SFA game, registering 16 Disposals, 5 Marks and a goal, with Season 32 All-SFA representatives krakouers (28 Disposals, 2 Goals), GreyCrow (22 Disposals, 15 hitouts) and spookism (7 Kicks, 5 Goals) all returned from the off season in perfect form, and of course fan favourite Paddles_ was arguably best afield with 26 Disposals, 10 Marks and a goal!

Round 2 v Coney Island Warriors
After a disappointing start to the season, we set off on the road to take on the Warriors at their Theme Park themed park. I'll be honest, like a lot of the things Warriors the build up was forgettable, I played one of those ring toss games at their outside stands and got mad jibbed because the rings were smaller than the bottle necks, but when I asked for a refund Tonga Bob took me out back and beat me with a sandal.

Perhaps wanting revenge for their Captains mistreatment at an away venue, or maybe just gelling together better, the Royals went on to collect W number 1 with a 36 point victory over the Warriors, holding one of their rookies to donuts all game.

Ligma came into her own in her second game, with a move from the pocket to the wing seeing a nice return of 21 Disposals, 7 Marks and 2 Goals. Ulahoopski thrived with a mid match move to the midfield collecting 21 Disposals, 5 Marks, 8 tackles and 2 goals, whilst captain PMBangers was INSPIRING with 22 Disposals, 9 Marks and a goal.

Round 3 v Dragons FFC
With the taste of victory and cotton candy fresh on our lips, the Royals were hungry for more as the Dragons flew in to the Golden Throne. I'm not sure if anyone has seen Game of Thrones, if you haven't you should, and if you are afraid of spoilers maybe just skip this anecdote because it's heavy on the spoilers for it.

Symbolic of the Game of Thrones finale when Danaerys flys in on her Dragon, Drogon, to claim the iron throne but last minute gets stabbed by her nephew John Snow, The Royals did exactly that to the Dragons as a late goal was not counted due to a sim bug that has remained unfixed despite the sim being around longer than I have, as we won the game by 3 points in the end despite trailing at all other breaks.

Our new full forward king spookism enjoyed another day out with a bag of 6 (from 6 kicks), with star Wingers nahnah (29 Disposals, 6 Marks, 1 Goal) and Ligma (30 Disposals and 9 Marks) starting to stamp their authority on the competition as well. GreyCrow may not have won the battle of the Rucks against Strigoi, but contributed strongly nonetheless with 22 Disposals, 11 hitouts and a goal

 

[PMBangers]

Round 4 v Las Vegas Bears
Now on a high after 2 wins in a row, in what felt like forever, the Royals were getting greedy for more, and an away trip to Las Vegas loomed as an exciting opportunity for this band of misfits to take another scalp. The week was enjoyable, with what I'm sure were some riveting quips from the likes of Father Suns, Muddiemoose, Senor M and tony, but nothing was funnier than PMBangers missing the teamsheet deadline due to a tinder date. The jokes made were plentiful and of a high quality, and with that debacle out of the way, it was time to lace up the qoots and play

It was all the Bears in the first quarter, and at quarter time it was The Filth Wizard who delivered an awe inspiring message of motivation to get us back in it, as we stampeded our way to a huge 43 point victory.

spookism took the p155 a bit with a 9 goal haul, utterly embarrassing the entire bears back 6, but the work of nahnah can't be understated with 25 Disposals and 9 Marks. GreyCrow took offense to the positional loss the prior week and returned with a fury, registering 19 hitouts, 17 disposals and 3 goals

Round 5 v Mount Buller Demons
With well loved captain PMBangers OUT due to a suspension, the Royals were nervous heading into the match, and the build up showed it with our usual suspects not as trigger happy, or perhaps the pleasantness of the complimentary herbal tea from Headless and manangatang made us rather placid, idk.

It ended up being a game to forget though, with the Royals never really looking in it as we went down by 46 points at home.

It wasn't a great game for most, but nahnah had 24 Disposals and 6 Marks, whilst Smartys Power put himself up forward for a spell and snagged 4!

Round 6 v Furies
The Furies team from Round 6 now resembles a graveyard to a degree, with TJASTA no longer with us and a few other unknowns, it feels wrong to speak disrespectfully about those no longer with us, but if you ask me they can GAGF the idiots. Anyway it was a surprisingly pleasant thread considering the opposition, and perhaps the pleasantness let the Furies guard down.

With the Captain returning, the Royals put on a good displau with a 21 point victory to the eventual spooners (maybe?)

The conditions made it a difficult game for anyone to impact consistently, with nahnah once again in the bests taking away 15 disposals, 8 marks and 4 tackles, and a well rested PMBangers having 21 Disposals and 6 Marks. SarahSmiles may have been removed from his usual FP role to the bench, but still managed to find the big sticks 3 times!

 

[PMBangers]

Round 7 v Roys FFC
A team that is always enjoyable and relaxing to come up against, our good old friends at the Roys were welcomed to the Golden Throne with open arms, we even set up an inaccurate map of Sweet for Mobbs to grovel at.

Unfortunately our hospitality was TOO kind if anything, and it lead to a fresh Roys side taking us to the cleaners a bit. Whilst it wasn't a drubbing in the end, as we only went down but 15 points, it's fair to say the Roys effectively shut down some our major players.

GreyCrow was one of the regular contributors that wasn't phased though, returning 12 Hitouts, 26 Disposals and 2 Goals for his efforts, whilst spookism managed to stay Fred medal relevant with 3 goals in the loss. The real surprise packet of the day came from Blacky, who despite his circular midgety figure starred on the wing with 23 Disposals, 7 marks and a goal

Round 8 v Gumbies
After the first loss in a while, the Royals travelled to the home of the perennially s**t Gumbies, already chalking up the 4 points in the ladder and dreaming of fianls, it's fair to say we got a shock when the game started.

It was a stellar first half that set up the Gumbies for a 40 point win, as they slotted 11 majors to our measly 3, making a valiant second half fight somewhat meaningless despite outscoring them.

There was little to celebrate after the loss, however spookism still found 5 majors despite the lack of service!

 

[Mobbs]

Ahh I remember that day like it was earlier this year.

 

[PMBangers]

We've reached the halfway point people, well almost, and it's time to look at the current BnF standings, or at least the top 3.

Leading our votes at the halfway point of the season is unsurprisingly last seasons winner spookism with 58! Spooks made the whole club proud when he demanded the Full Forward spot at the start of the season, exclaiming "If I can't win a Mobbs with the * off good season I had last time, I want to try and win the Fred". Unfortunately for spooks, he still hasn't won either, but we wait in anticipation to see what S34 may hold for him positionally, perhaps he will attempt to win the Frankston Rover Award?

Coming in second is last years 3rd place GreyCrow, the ever reliable Ruck for the Royals may not have reached the All-SFA heights of S32 in S33, but continued to give our mids premo service from stoppages, and was once again one of the best Rucks around the ground in the competition, acting as a 4th midfielder for many of our games. When asked what makes him so good, GreyCrow simply answered, "Raisins"

In 3rd, we have one of the incoming captains nahnah, whose spectacular season on the wing saw him given All-SFA honours for the first time in his career, rewarded for his tireless efforts along the wings all season. nahnah credits Red Bull Energy Drinks for his success in Season 33, saying 'Redbull may not give you wings, but it makes you a great one!"

 

[PMBangers]

In Season 32 I had the great honour of naming an award after Blacky, a club legend and the clubs highest goal scorer, after he threatened to destroy both my knee caps and steal my beans for the winter. Blacky has registered 357 Goals at the Royals, and aslong as we don't fall for Filths demands to keep him in FF, should hold that for quite some time.

In Season 33, spookism took over the reigns at FF this season, and unsurprisingly is winner of the Blacky Trophy with a brilliant 65 Goals

Please raise a glass in celebration for Spooks!

 

[nahnah]

Never knew Blacky had such nice legs

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Oh you know I'm back in FF PMBangers.

 

[PMBangers]

Round 9 v Wonders
After a disappointing couple of Rounds for the Royals, the selection axe was swung down hard and true, with PMBangers moving to CHB to replace the underperforming BRAB, and S32 2nd place in the BnF krakouers replacing him in the centre. With such drastic changes, the Royals were hoping that the Wonders preparation would be thwarted.

It turned out to be a stroke of pure genius from the selection committee, with PMBangers swapped to the bench for BRAB early in the game, and krakouers performing well, the Royals churned out an incredible 68 point victory at home, with the spectators happy to finally witness a win at the Golden Throne in a long time.

While there were plenty of admirable performances, it was spookism who drew all the attention from the crowd as he treated everyone to an 11 goal haul, with 3 behinds to keep himself modest. GreyCrow (14 Hitouts, 27 Disposals), weltschmerz (29 Disposals, 10 Marks) and krakouers (31 Disposals, 8 Marks) all performed well, and former captain The Filth Wizard finally found some form in the midfield with 26 Disposals, 11 Tackles and 3 Goals

Round 10 v Swamprats
It was an exciting game for both sets of fans, as the inaugural SarahSmiles Cup was amongst us, and was the only notable side story of the game. Both clubs were keen to win this one, the Rats for Revenge and the Royals for smiles, and the Golden Throne was packed out despite some soggy conditions

And like every fairytale, love shined through all adversity as the Royals clinched a nail biting 1 point victory at home, despite leading at all breaks by a fair margin, but hey, we love the theatrics!

GreyCrow must have been spiking his raisins around this time of season, as he registered another BOG performance for the Royals with 33 Disposals and 3 Goals, whilst The Filth Wizard (25 Disposals, 9 Tackles and a Goal), Marlowe (27 Disposals, 2 Goals), krakouers (26 Disposals, 7 Marks) and Paddles_ (28 Disposals, 9 Marks and a Goal) flexed their muscle to dominate the midfield battle

Round 11 v Phoenix
And this is where it started going a bit pear shaped for our season, after such a strong start and being on the right end of some close wins, we were bound to lose one eventually.

Despite a strong first half to the Royals, the Phoenix would fight back well and end the game as 8 point winners at the Eyrie, the dogs.

It wasn't a day to remember for most, but the class of nahnah was on show with 20 Disposals, 6 Marks and 2 Goals, with former captain The Filth Wizard continuing his rich vein of form collecting 19 Disposals and 7 Tackles. Honourable mention to PMBangers who registered 15 Disposals and 4 Marks in the backline, that guys alright!

 

[PMBangers]

Round 12 v Bombers
As the repeat fixtures came around, it seemed the Royals had already started thinking about finals and would begin to pay dearly for the complacency. Despite the Bombers missing a few crucial members due to ban hammer commitments, we unfortunately came up 22 points short in our trip to the prison

MrPremiership must have black mailed GC about the PED's in the raisins, taking his ruck role for the game and registering 11 Hitouts, 33 Disposals and a Goal, whilst spookism once again snagged 6 casual ones.

Round 13 v Warriors
The curse continued in Round 13, with the Royals suffering another close loss to the Warriors, giving up a quarter time lead to finish 4 points behind the Warriors, ironically the same amount of Premiership Points they gained from the win.

As is to be expected, there wasn't much to write home about for the Royals players, but nahnah was once again exceptional with 22 Disposals, 8 marks and 2 Goals in a BOG performance, with GreyCrow (21 Disposals, 16 Hitouts and a Goal) and Marlowe (20 Disposals, 7 Tackles and 2 Goals) also aiding the All-SFA winger

Round 14 v Dragons
Much like the last game, the Dragons got revenge for #sirengate all the way back in Round 3, with a #sirengate of their own to walk away with a one point victory at their home, whatever it is called. Interestingly, serial_thrilla confessed to me later on in the season that he hacked into the SFA mainframe to guarantee their win in that matter, make of that what you will

Club Legend and founder Easty managed to register a huge 30 Disposals, 6 Marks and 2 Goals in one of his 2 appearances for the season, with nahnah (29 Disposals, 8 marks and a Goal) all but securing his All-SFA spot, GreyCrow (19 Hitouts, 28 Disposals) and CakeEater (19 Disposals, 8 marks, 3 Goals) all putting in games to remember as well

 

[weltschmerz]

While there were plenty of admirable performances, it was spookism who drew all the attention from the crowd as he treated everyone to an 11 goal haul, with 3 behinds to keep himself modest. GreyCrow (14 Hitouts, 27 Disposals), weltschmerz (29 Disposals, 10 Marks) and krakouers (31 Disposals, 8 Marks) all performed well, and former captain The Filth Wizard finally found some form in the midfield with 26 Disposals, 11 Tackles and 3 Goals

important to note that I'm our smallest of small forwards at 163cm

 

[PMBangers]

Round 15 v Las Vegas Bears
You're probably getting tired of reading this, but once again the Royals were unlucky with a close result, with the Bears showing us up at our home deck by 2 points (making our last 3 games a total of 7 point losses) in a game that was tight throughout.

A masterstroke move to move omgfridge into the Ruck Rover role proved effective, with the cooling machine getting 25 Disposals and 9 Tackles. GreyCrow was once again influential with 10 Hitouts, 26 Disposals and a goal, whilst mid season draft pick Memphis tore up the wing with 26 Disposals and 6 Tackles!

Round 16 v Demons
After a hard 4 weeks, and two must win games to keep our finals hopes alive, incoming co-captain nahnah pulled the team in for a chat prior to the game. I can't repeat what was said, but it was inspirational, and it was clear that everyone was gee'd up afterwards as we head out for the first bounce

With the speech fresh in our minds, the Royals ran out as 38 point victors by the final siren, although Headless is on record crediting the result to PMBangers asking nicely earlier in the week, it was 100% nahnah's speech

No one was more inspired by said speech than nahnah himself, with 26 Disposals and 11 Marks he proved a key playmaker for the Royals in a crucial win. omgfridge continued to have fans asking why he wasn't moved into the midfiel earlier with 22 Disposals, 5 Tackles and 2 goals a nice return, with The Filth Wizard almost mirroring those stats, just with one less kick

Round 17 v Furies
This was it, a do or die final Home and Away game for the Royals to make finals, and looking to replicate the result from last week nahnah once again took the stage for an inspirational pregame speech. This one wasn't as compelling, as it quickly became clear that it was actually as a pitch for a MLM that nahnah had fallen into, something about Prime performance drink, apparently a couple of youtubers made it or something? I don't know, he had samples and they tasted pretty bad.

If the speech and the tasters weren't bad enough, it seemed we'd spent all our petrol tickets the prior game, going down by 82 points to the Furies in what was convincingly our worst performance of the year. the only performance of note came from the outgoing Marlowe, with 22 Disposals and 9 Marks in his what may have been his final time in Royals colours, it was a sad day for us all....

 

[PMBangers]

Acknowledgements
Before I present the BnF to our very deserving winner and place getters, I want to get a few words out of the way.

I want to start off by giving my best wishes to some of our outgoings in Marlowe, omgfridge and Ligma, thanks for your service to the Royals over the season, i wasn't easy at times but you stuck through and we appreciate that, good luck in your next ventures and I hope you all feel a draw back to the Golden Throne some time.

Marlowe especially has been a staple at the Royals forever, even during his hiatus, he's been a part of the fabric of the club for a long time and will remain a part of it for an even longer time into the future, hopefully we get him back posting every day at some stage, the league will always be better off for it.

Secondly, apologies for going MIA this season, as I'm sure everyone can understand sometimes life gets in the way, and as I develop more IRL commitments (and seemingly keep adding more to drive myself crazy) I unfortunately can't commit as much time to this place. I want to thank The Filth Wizard for stepping up a lot this season in my absence after just recently leaving the captaincy post, and know that both nahnah and CakeEater will do a brilliant job in driving this club forward in ways I couldn't, we're in very good hands

And finally, a big congratulations to nahnah, Ulahoopski and omgfridge for their All-SFA selections, you make us all very proud!

 

[PMBangers]

And now for our final top 10 for the Season 33 BnF, in 10th place is...
Ligma and omgfridge
Despite some time off during the season due to banhammer commitments, Ligma sneaks into our top 10 with 26 votes, the first year rookie was a POD in our match threads all season, attracting positive and negative reactions from opposition. omgfridge was a reliable presence in our back half for most of the season, but really lit up the midfield once moved in there, still managing to snare the HBF spot in the All-SFA

9th spot goes to CakeEater with 28 votes
CHF isn't an easy role to play, but Cakey continues to be a consistent presence for us in the forward half, not always getting goals himself, but unselfishly setting up plenty for our greedy, greedy full forwards

8th spot is krakouers with 35 votes
Being thrown around this season quite a bit, it's a credit to krak's team ethic that he never complained, just stuck his head down and did his bit for the team

Equal 6th spot is shared by PMBangers and Ulahoopski with 38 votes
Ula was the standout HFF all season, rewarded with an All-SFA spot for his efforts after an admirably 22 goals (second for the club) and 82 marks (also second for the club)

In 5th spot is Marlowe with 45 votes
Our ever consistent and reliable Ruck Rover, whoever follows in marlowe's footsteps has big shoes to fill next season, as he had another stellar season through the guts

and in 4th spot is The Filth Wizard with 54 votes
It took Filth some time to find his feet in his new role in the midfield, perhaps this was due to not doing a proper pre season after getting so used to the goal square, but when he hit his straps there were few better at what he did league wide. Filth lead the team for tackles this season with 75, which comes as no surprise to those that have fallen victim to his bear hugs

 

[PMBangers]

Finishing 3rd in our Season 33 Best and Fairest count, it turns out the kicking goals isn't enough apparently as the Season 32 winner spookism earns the bronze medal with 78 votes!

Spooks had an amazing season, and it's scary to think just how good he could've been with more delivery as he finished with 65 goals and 38 points, just an obscene amount of scoring shots, congrats my friend!

 

[spookism]

Finishing 3rd in our Season 33 Best and Fairest count, it turns out the kicking goals isn't enough apparently as the Season 32 winner spookism earns the bronze medal with 78 votes!

Spooks had an amazing season, and it's scary to think just how good he could've been with more delivery as he finished with 65 goals and 38 points, just an obscene amount of scoring shots, congrats my friend!

If I could kick straight we might have made the finals.
Might have also won the Fred.

Story of my life really.

 

[PMBangers]

In second place, and perhaps earning the title 'always the bridesmaid' is our number 1 Ruck and staple of the club, GreyCrow

Convincingly leading our club hitouts this season with 193, GreyCrow's service gave our midfielders a lot to work with through the season and played a big part in our wins, GC also lead us for handballs this season (175) and DT (1322)

 

[PMBangers]

And to the surprise of few, our winner of the Season 33 Easty Medal is the All-SFA Wing Extraordinaire nahnah!

In a season of many lows, nahnah was constantly high, leading the team for total kicks (198) and marks (89), he was an integral part of the side and a key playmaker in all of our games, with the All-SFA merely a formality given his success this season.

Congratulations nahnah, and good luck with Co-Captaincy alongside CakeEater

 

[spookism]

Congrats nahnah
Next time GreyCrow

 

[nahnah]

To the Post Your CV thread !

 

[nahnah]

Thank you PMBangers for your efforts as captain over the past few seasons, we look forward to many more seasons of having you at this club.
Congrats on fantastic seasons GreyCrow and spookism

Now we turn our heads to season 34 where we presumably win the flag

 

[PMBangers]

Thank you PMBangers for your efforts as captain over the past few seasons, we look forward to many more seasons of having you at this club.
Congrats on fantastic seasons GreyCrow and spookism

Now we turn our heads to season 34 where we presumably win the flag

To quote you after last seasons BnF

"I've already visualised our second flag"

 

[The Filth Wizard]

Bravo PMBangers, didn't quite go to plan for reasons out of your control but we've been able to reset on the go again and will do it with some new leadership, some who are also learning on the job.

 

[Headless]

Nice work, PMBangers.

Congrats, nahnah.