Analysis The Small Things

[Portia]

What is a successful team? What drives that success? What inspires people to participate fully and give their best?

Every successful team has one thing in common. Respect. The people in that team respect each other, and they show that not just with the big things they do for each other, but for the little things too.

Fos Williams said in the Creed that each member of the team will suffer personal sacrifices for the common end. Sacrifice. Because you respect the club, and the team, and each other. You make sacrifices for each other.

Do you remember when Port were shit a few years ago? We had divisions among the players and the coaches and the board, because they were all talking shit about each other behind their backs. Because they didn't play for each other. Because no one felt they could rely on the club to have their back and give them a genuinely fair go. And they fell apart because they weren't willing to make sacrifices for each other - they were OK at the big ones, but not the little ones..

If you won't help your mates off the ground, if you won't block or shepherd for them, if you won't check in on them when they're under the pump, if you won't stick up for them when they're copping attention...if you won't do the small things, then how is anyone going to think they can count on you for the big ones? How are they going to feel respected when no one looks out for them when doing so is easy?

Refusing to take on responsibility for the welfare of others in the team is anathema to football clubs. A champion team beats a team of champions. Its a lesson as old as football itself.

The reason we know this is absolutely true is that its just like that for any community.

If you won't do the small things for other people, if you won't consider them or stick up for them when it costs you virtually nothing, then how is anyone going to think that you have their back for anything that matters?

The cost of showing respect is nothing. Nothing.

So now, on a very related note, lets talk about the sexist remarks that get thrown around here all the time.

Do any other long time posters remember when we used to have multiple women posting on this board? I do. Where have they all gone? What caused that? You know exactly why...its the small things. The constant shit that comes up any time women are mentioned in pretty much every capacity - their looks, or their sexuality, or femininity is mocked or used to shame men. Its misogyny, and its all over the place, and who here is saying that behaviour is not good enough for this community?

In any community, if you won't accept tiny, insignificant impositions on yourself to look out for other people, then how can you ever expect someone to count on your when they need help?

Now, I know one of the first thing some people will want to do is hang shit on me personally, and here you go, take your shot, this is where I'm going to reveal my worst post on Bigfooty...or I would if I could find it, but I know what it was - what they were.

My worst posts on Bigfooty were every time I chucked a fruity about being moderated/censored for having used the word `******ed' (ie. the derogatory term for someone with a developmental disability if this is being filtered) about something.

I was annoyed because I had been using the word since primary school, and I don't like modifying my behaviour. Who does? So I acted like I was on some kind of a righteous crusade for free speech or some shit, and that is one of the most pathetic moments in my life, because at the end of the day, what is the real cost to me? How much effort does it take for me to show the smallest respect to people already being shat on by the world?

I haven't used the word in years, and my life has not been measurably impacted by thinking about what I was saying. I don't even have to self-censor any more, the word just doesn't come to mind any more due to lack of use.

Here's another: when Adam Goodes was getting crazy booed earlier this year, I had the same reaction to calls to modify behavious. I didn't want to give up my right to boo people, but you know what? I reckon I've booed someone at the football maybe 5 times in my life, and I reckon those were all umpires in any case. So to keep a champion of the game around, what is the real cost to me personally? What is the cost to me to not disrespect Aboriginal people by proxy, and Goodes specifically?

What shit decisions they were. I didn't consider at all how little it cost me to show a bit of community spirit; its shameful to me, and I'm trying to be more conscious about when I might be adding to the shit of other people for no reason, for no benefit, when not doing so costs nothing. I hope you will try too.

So from right now, when you want to make a joke at the expense of women, think about what it would cost you if you didn't. When you want to discuss women doing anything, think about it when your first response is to talk about them like objects. When you think a chick is hot, maybe just give it a rest rather than start an ogling crew in a thread.

And if you flat out refuse to consider modifying your behaviour in any way, even in a way that costs you virtually nothing, take a good hard look at yourself.

 

[edgie]

I have thought of replying - but in the spirit of things, I figured I lose absolutely nothing by not voicing my objections.

So there ya go.

 

[Andre]

That all sounds nice in theory, until you sit back and take it that it the very 21st century affliction of 'I'm offended therefore you have to change'. I'd say that the strength of this board is not that people are not deliberately set out to offend others, but it's largely run on Voltaire's (well not really his) - I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Certainly I put that up as the embodiment of freedom of speech / expression, which to me is the underpinning of a forum such as this (and Western democracy as a whole). Just lighten the discussion.

 

[Stromageddon]

That all sounds nice in theory, until you sit back and take it that it the very 21st century affliction of 'I'm offended therefore you have to change'

It's actually more of a 'society is realising its mistakes and actively trying to fix them' but hey.

 

[charcolechaddy]

I gave up drinking nearly two years ago because of the impact on my family, in life we have choices, being human sometimes we take the right ones often the wrong.

But everyone has a different degree of moral compass.

I believe woman deserve equal rights that of men, but don't think for one minute I can or will curb my right to enjoy the butey of a woman.

As the scorpion said "its in my nature".

 

[Kingfish73]

Prejudice should never be tolerated. Respect peoples feelings and know when a joke has gone too far and apologise from heart. But walking on egg shells is not warranted and important to voice opinion and have the right respectful judgement. Otherwise nanny state city

 

[Andre]

I don't think it's about people thinking you can't enjoy the beauty of whichever (or both) of the sexes you like, but whether you consider commenting on it is appropriate. Do you fall under the view that commenting on it means that's how you define that sex or commenting on it is just commenting on it is just that and doesn't mean it's how you define a person as a whole. I take the latter view.

When I'm at the footy and I hear (more then once during the season), one of the nearby female supporters yelling out to Boak 'go you sexy man', I assume she finds his looks attractive, but not that this is the complete view she's got of him or men in general.

 

[Magus]

When I'm at the footy and I hear (more then once during the season), one of the nearby female supporters yelling out to Boak 'go you sexy man', I assume she finds his looks attractive, but not that this is the complete view she's got of him or men in general.

Guilty.As.Charged.

 

[*PAF]

I've just sccepted that everyone on BF is a campaigner or campaigneirette and love everyone by ignoring most posts and writing silly replies due to having speed read and not paid enough attention to the posts I reply to.

Onya Portia I too recall some epic female, and some male, posters that sadly don't seem to post any more. No need for mames as we know who they are.

 

[Portia]

That all sounds nice in theory, until you sit back and take it that it the very 21st century affliction of 'I'm offended therefore you have to change'. I'd say that the strength of this board is not that people are not deliberately set out to offend others, but it's largely run on Voltaire's (well not really his) - I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Certainly I put that up as the embodiment of freedom of speech / expression, which to me is the underpinning of a forum such as this (and Western democracy as a whole). Just lighten the discussion.

Except this board has nothing to do with free speech.

For at least a decade this board has operated on the principle that it is for Port supporters to talk about Port, and that interlopers coming in to trash talk Port or Port supporters are not welcome and will be moderated out. And banned if they can't managed the self control not to come here.

Are you saying you don't support that staple of this board? Are you saying that Port supporters are more deserving of protection from bullshit permeating every thread than the ogley, judgey bullshit women are copping, even when those women are Port supporters?

Is the cost of maybe considering that it is unpleasant to be in an sexist environment, and actively deciding not to be part of it, really so high for you?

It takes less effort than putting on deodorant, I bet you do that. Less effort than wearing clothes, or maintaining a driver's license, or any one of the tiny things people do every day to be part of society.

 

[ash_78]

I agree with the gist of what you're saying, but I'm a little unclear on where you think the line is. I think I recall you making comments about O'Shea being attractive (as do I to be honest ) and that's absolutely fine by me and probably most others on here - but where is the line that defines that you're ogling him as opposed to just a light-hearted comment about how hot he is? There is certainly some common sense to be applied but the occasional bit of banter about someone's looks is perfectly acceptable IMO. Perhaps I've missed a couple of posts you're specifically referring to.

 

[Papa G]

And the dog in the coppertone ad? Same deal, Dad?

 

[Andre]

Opposition supporters are welcome to come here and post in a non-critical fashion. It is after all a board for Port supporters. I don't go out looking to make posts that are critical of women (or any other groups, other then Crows supporters and the SA media), but if an opposition supporter comes on here and their entire post history here consists of ogling our players, I'd soon enough stop reading their posts, but I wouldn't deny them the right to post here. If they came in and their posting consisted of disparaging our players looks I'd be against that.

Similarly if anyone wants to post appreciative comments on non-players Females OR Males on this board, be it about their looks, intelligence, wealth or any other attribute that's fine. I'd agree with disparaging based on looks, but that's not just against women. I'm sure this board (and Bigfooty in general), has had more jokes about Cameron Lings looks and ability to 'punch above his weight' then about any particular non-football persons (male or female) looks.

 

[Magus]

A lot of behaviour that goes on in social media and on this site, I would consider to be quite cowardly. Would sexist comments, homophobia or racism be accepted by anyone if it were yelled out in the public domain? If you have that social filter that reminds you that you should probably keep your mouth shut as to not get it punched, then it should be no different from behind the keyboard. There is a certain kind of circle jerking that goes on on this board sometimes where people work themselves into a sort of hysteria where anything goes and they rely on the safety net of their clique to make personal jokes and be extra offensive towards individuals. I highly doubt they'd behave this way in the real world. Sometimes they just need to check themselves and calm down for a minute.

 

[Portia]

Perhaps I've missed a couple of posts you're specifically referring to.

Start here - Port Adelaide Female AFL team

 

[GreyPower]

I hadnt particularly noticed anything of what Portia was discussing, but I hadnt previously had a look at the women's AFL league discussion thread....I had a real quick look there before, I assume thats what she is mainly referring to.

 

[Doctor Feel]

I for one, was glad to see America possibly adopting the right for women to serve in all roles of the armed forces. If they meet the criteria then all power to them, some chicks are tough as nails, and I actually prefer women in leadership roles at work because they seem to keep their head under pressure and are not so quick to blame subordinates for their decisions.

Growng up it was three sisters and myself, I've seen the best and the worst of them and I can say they are obviously different to men (der) but they are most certainly not weaker in the fashion some people are trying to claim in the womens team thread.

 

[TheFVK]

Casual sexism is (admittedly) only too easy to ignore, especially when compared to the more extreme examples such as the sickeningly misogynistic posts on the Richmond board Dustin Martin chopstick thread; doesn't make it any better. Decent point that most of the female posters aren't about anymore.

 

[MrMeaner]

Start here - Port Adelaide Female AFL team

I've stayed away from that thread after reading the first few posts. That was enough for me.

I agree that it would be nice if some here could shut down their reptilian part of their brains for a moment to discuss something, anything to do with women without reducing it to physical attractiveness. It would make this board a more pleasant place for all.

 

[Lagooner]

I agree with the gist of what you're saying, but I'm a little unclear on where you think the line is. I think I recall you making comments about O'Shea being attractive (as do I to be honest ) and that's absolutely fine by me and probably most others on here - but where is the line that defines that you're ogling him as opposed to just a light-hearted comment about how hot he is? There is certainly some common sense to be applied but the occasional bit of banter about someone's looks is perfectly acceptable IMO. Perhaps I've missed a couple of posts you're specifically referring to.

Let's just start with refraining from the AFLW and LFL comparisons and work our way from there.

P.S. I will not refrain from using the #jizzy4oshizzy hashtag!

 

[Waspy79]

Women don't go to the footy to look at men.

 

[raman]

I agree with the gist of what you're saying, but I'm a little unclear on where you think the line is. I think I recall you making comments about O'Shea being attractive (as do I to be honest ) and that's absolutely fine by me and probably most others on here - but where is the line that defines that you're ogling him as opposed to just a light-hearted comment about how hot he is? There is certainly some common sense to be applied but the occasional bit of banter about someone's looks is perfectly acceptable IMO. Perhaps I've missed a couple of posts you're specifically referring to.

I think that the line is somewhere between someone saying "Public Figure X is hot" and the circle-jerk that often follows when someone replies with "Yeah but not as hot as Public Figure Y, here are pics to prove it". I'm guilty of participating in countless such discussions, and looking at it objectively it is kind of... icky.

 

[PatientMental]

Unfortunately some people need guidelines on how to avoid casual sexism and even casual racism because I wouldn't be surprised if they don't even realise that they're doing it.

 

[Waspy79]

Do men go to any sport (real sports, not jelly wrestling) to look at women?

Speaking personally, yes. I have seen live women's volleyball and hockey and whilst I enjoy to watch both sports as sport in isolation, I also enjoy watching the physiques of these girls in action. You can't tell me Sabina Altynbekova isn't worth a second look. Girls do the same, whether it be watching sport, movies, film clips or whatever. They are generally more subtle though, it has to be said. It must be the off-season.

 

[Killer Power]

I hadn't ventured into that thread prior to now, can see where you are coming from Portia

Change comes slowly to some and the internet has provided a great platform for people to regress. It is particularly concerning to me when I see / hear younger man behaving in a sexist way, it shows that their role models are failing them and that we still have a long way to go to rid society of overt sexism, let alone the casual type. I recall a couple of years ago taking umbrage at the use of the term "rape" on here in relation to umpiring decisions or a team's dominance over another. Such an aggressive term that I know upsets many women when it is used to describe something as trivial as a sporting contest and yet there were many defending their right to continue its use on here.