PhenomenalV1
The Deletion Artist
- Jan 3, 2017
- 11,837
- 24,307
- AFL Club
- Carlton
- Other Teams
- Dragons FFC, Matt Hardy
1 INT. LIVING ROOM
[In the corner of a warmly living room, PHENOMENALV1, a kind-hearted young man, sits in the corner. Sitting on the couch next to him is THECOACH16, PHENOMENALV1's qooty-father]
PHENOMENALV1: Qooty dad?
THECOACH16: Yes qooty son?
PHENOMENALV1: Qooty dad...I think it's time for me to leave the nest.
[THECOACH16 leans forward], aghast]
THECOACH16: What do you mean, young Phenom?
PHENOMENALV1: Well, it's just that I've grown so much as a poster, and I want to leave home to prove myself!
[THECOACH16 moves over to PHENOMENALV1]
THECOACH16: Phenom, I'm your Qooty-dad, you can tell me if Are you being bullied by that Elton kid again?
PHENOMENALV1: No, there's nothing wrong! I just want to move on from the Bombers for a bit.
THECOACH16: I see, Qooty-son. I see...
2 INT. LOCAL EATING ESTABLISHMENT
[THECOACH16 is sitting with his friends; TONY LYNN 15, a deep fried food enthusiast, and KOHPHI, a pervert. THECOACH16 is dejectedly eating his dinner.]
THECOACH16: I just don't understand it! Phenom's trying to leave when he's got it so good with us...
[KOHPHI and TONY LYNN 15 exchange glances.]
KOHPHI: You know Coach...sometimes, you have to let your qooty-son go. He has to seek out his own identity, and sometimes, that means switching clubs. Maybe he'll even open his own cafe.
TONY LYNN 15: Yeah, preferably a deep fried food shop!
[THECOACH16 is heartened by his friends efforts to console him.]
THECOACH16: Yeah...you're right KohPhi...maybe we have been smothering him...if it's his choice to leave, then so be it.
KOHPHI: I'm glad you're both happy with Phenom's decision! Now let's check out some of these beauties...
[KOHPHI pulls out a folder of disturbing gifs. THECOACH16 and TONY LYNN 15 crowd around him to take in the perverse images flashing before them. The establishment's owner, KNIFEY SPOONY walks to the table]
KNIFEY SPOONY: Excuse my sirs, but you'll have to leave the premises.
3 INT. LOUNGE ROOM
[PHENOMENALV1 has his new friends CAMMO6556, HATCHY92 and BLAZESTORM over for trade negotiations. Enter THECOACH16, KOHPHI and TONY LYNN 15]
THECOACH16: Phenom, I've...who are these people?
PHENOMENALV1: They're hopefully going to be my new teammates!
THECOACH16: New teammates?! Phenom, I was...
[Enter HAROLAD, an obnoxious edgelord]
HAROLAD: F O U N D Y O U , Y O U T R A I T O R O U S C U C K . P R E P A R E T O D I E !
[PHENOMENALV1 stands up to defend himself, but HAROLAD falls flat on his face]
PHENOMENALV1: Ha, serves you right!
[Enter PREGNANT MIGGS]
PREGNANT MIGGS: How could you leave Phenom? With our baby still to come!
TONY LYNN 15: Phenom's baby? I thought you said that I fathered the child!
KOHPHI: I think you'll find that I'm the father, Tone!
THECOACH16: Now listen here, you two can stop fighting over my son's child!
PHENOMENALV1: Stop speaking for me, Coach! You're not my real Qooty-dad!
[The BluCrew start fighting amongst themselves. PREGNANT MIGGS watches in shock. CAMMO6556, HATCHY92 and BLAZESTORM are still in this scene, but have no real role. Meanwhile, HAROLAD has recovered, and has recruited a SECOND EDGELORD to help him]
HAROLAD: D I E , D I E , D I E !
[HAROLAD prepares to swing his katana, but he is interrupted by a VOICE]
VOICE: What's going on here!
[Enter NON-PREGNANT MIGGS]
NON-PREGNANT MIGGS: What's all this fuss about my alias Pregnant Miggs?
[In the awkward silence that follows, the SECOND EDGELORD seizes his chance and stabs HAROLAD in the back]
PHENOMENALV1: My god! The second edgelord is a fake! Now to find out who's under the mask...
[PHENOMENALV1 pulls off SECOND EDGELORD's mask to reveal...]
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