Opinion Classic Commentator One Liners

[DV2000]

A few more from Cometti for those that are fans:

"Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona."

"Farmer may have an injury to his calf ... hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem."

"Spider had both his legs taken out from under him - leaving only the other six to balance on."

"Ball to Barker to Barlow - The Hawks are attacking alphabetically."

On Melbourne's Adam Yze: "A terrific player . . . terrible scrabble hand."

"Cousins, runs away from Carr ... not the first time we've seen that this season."

About Cameron Cloke who was timing his ruck work badly, something along the lines of: "He leaves his messages before the ‘beep’."

"Hay is bailed up on the boundary line."

"Walker to Carr . . . that's a step up."

"He's made a typo! - he wanted Bickley and he's got Buckley!"

"The Magpies ought to be kicking themselves right now, but with their luck, they'd probably miss."

After Darren Gaspar hits the post from 40 metres out: "Gaspar, the unfriendly post."

"Ashley McIntosh, like a good hair spray ... capable of a subtle hold."

"Ball in dispute, Lamb, now Yze the meat in the sandwich. Really Lamb should be in the sandwich."

Great post mate. Cometti can make any footy match interesting to watch, no matter what's going on in the actual game.

 

[Strangled Cat]

"The days of domination are over" (2010)

The short and long term irony of Tim Lane's proclamation that "The days of domination are seemingly over" will never be lost on me. I mean, the fact that we proceeded to beat the Bulldogs by over 100 points on that very game which Tim made the comment is one thing, but in 2011 we dominated many sides including, but not limited to, the coach-sacking 186 point margin against Melbourne. Sure, we may not "dominate" teams any more per se, but I'm sure that four years on and another premiership later, Tim Lane's ill-fated comments would still resonate inside his head - current equal first ladder position notwithstanding!

 

[Bobby_]

"The days of domination are over" (2010)

he followed it up the very next year with this pearler

 

[manboob]

Should play for the Suns!

 

[you pick one]

Chappy say it with me Chappy! Krock.

 

[Lana]

The short and long term irony of Tim Lane's proclamation that "The days of domination are seemingly over" will never be lost on me. I mean, the fact that we proceeded to beat the Bulldogs by over 100 points on that very game which Tim made the comment is one thing, but in 2011 we dominated many sides including, but not limited to, the coach-sacking 186 point margin against Melbourne. Sure, we may not "dominate" teams any more per se, but I'm sure that four years on and another premiership later, Tim Lane's ill-fated comments would still resonate inside his head - current equal first ladder position notwithstanding!

What we need most from the media is for him and others to publicly declare us as being past it, preferable on prime TV or in a large article in the newspaper. That would show us.

 

[allrighty]

The books, the radio show, the videos and the fillum. All great. Douglas Adams hero worship.

Arthur: "It's times like this I wish I'd listened to what my mother said all those years ago"
Ford: "What was that?"
Arthur: "I don't know, I didn't listen"

Brain the size of planet ...

True - I left a gig recently and on the way out said "So long and thanks for all the fish". Not surprisingly I got some odd looks.

 

[Teriyakicat]

Arthur: "It's times like this I wish I'd listened to what my mother said all those years ago"
Ford: "What was that?"
Arthur: "I don't know, I didn't listen"

Brain the size of planet ...

True - I left a gig recently and on the way out said "So long and thanks for all the fish". Not surprisingly I got some odd looks.

They obviously are just uneducated

 

[bigfarter]

A favourite of mine, both for Dennis Commetti's set-up and my Dad's punchline:

COMMETTI: David Mensch! He's the swiss army knife of Geelong!

DAD: Why? Because he has so many tools and no idea how to use them?

 

[FredLeDeux]

Hahaha! That last one reminds me of a quote from "A Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy"- talking about the Vogon ships:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."

Widely regarded (*and in my opinion, rightly so) as the greatest of the great man's one-liners.
Dead about 40-50 years too soon.

* From Bernard Montgomery, 1st Viscount Montgomery of Alamein And the Lord said unto Moses, and in my opinion, quite rightly...

 

[Son_Of_God29]

There is a Pig at Full Forward

 

[BotsMaster]

Best from Rex

 

[The rabbi]

I remember listening to the footy on the radio (think it was MMM) and the topic of discussion at that time was the appropriateness of women in a coaching role. I cannot remember exactly who made the comment (I think it may have been Brian Taylor. I am fairly certain that it was not Sam Newman), but the comment was along the lines that a woman as an AFL coach would not be suitable because it would be embarrassing to a player to be "pulled off" by the coach.

Straight after that comment, I think that it was Gary Lyon who belted out "you carn't say that!".
I could not believe my ears.

 

[The rabbi]

Sam Newman did not exactly cover himself in glory on this particular day when he responded to a caller after the game.

"A technical glitch" indeed.

 

[winty]

 

[Goggin Our Best]

I listened to a Geelong game on the radio - when Brian Brushfield was doing the special comments - and Teddy was calling the game

There was a pack of players - and one player got thrown out of the way

Brushfield said - " He got picked up and thrown out of that Pack - like a piece of gherkin being thrown out of a Big Mac " - even Teddy laughed at that

 

[Teriyakicat]

Sam Newman did not exactly cover himself in glory on this particular day when he responded to a caller after the game.

"A technical glitch" indeed.

A bit touchy, isn't he?

 

[Cyclone Larry]

Ted Whitten on Sunday footyshow reviewing the cats game and Gary Ablett's dominance: "He was kicking goals out of his coit"

 

[The rabbi]

I listened to a Geelong game on the radio - when Brian Brushfield was doing the special comments - and Teddy was calling the game

Brian Brushfield on K-Rock used to annoy the hell out of me.
Geelong would be up by 3 or 4 goals at 3/4 time and Brushy would pronounce the game 'over'.
At the end of the game when Geelong had lost he would be expressing his confusion over how the game was slipped from their grasp. I always thought that Brushy was trapped in the 1950's. He just did not seem to understand that 3 or 4 goals is not a big lead in the modern game.

 

[winty]

Brian Brushfield on K-Rock used to annoy the hell out of me.
Geelong would be up by 3 or 4 goals at 3/4 time and Brushy would pronounce the game 'over'.
At the end of the game when Geelong had lost he would be expressing his confusion over how the game was slipped from their grasp. I always thought that Brushy was trapped in the 1950's. He just did not seem to understand that 3 or 4 goals is not a big lead in the modern game.

Mitho does the bolded now too. Annoys the hell out of me.

 

[Turbocat]

"Billy Brownless. The monkey is off your back" my favorite commentator, Sandy Roberts, after Billy kicked the winning goal after the siren in the 92(?) QF

"Judd, Kerr and Cousins are so lucky having big Cox" - Drew Morphett, I believe.

"What more can you say?" Sandy Roberts again, this time on Ablett

Probably my favourite.

 

[Farmer2Goggin]

Love the Commetti - isms.
Couple from my younger days

Harry Beitzel used to cross on radio to Tommy Lahiff who would be in the Rooms after the game. Tommy was very old , partially deaf and had a classic high pitched Aussie voice :
Harry - Are you there Tommy?"
Tommy - ' You'll have to speak up Harry ! "
Harry - " Why Tommy?"
Tommy - " They've locked me in the Toilet Harry ! "

Rex Hunt commenting on a Cats v Blues game when Matthew Clape had about 40 possessions - " Ball kicked to Clape , on his own again - anyone would think he had it..........."

 

[darren forssman]

did i hear bazil z say something along the likes of:

"fisting his way"

 

[winty]

Ian Robertson in a State of Origin match between the Big V and NSW at the MCG, after Ablett senior and Mick Gayfer were wrestling for a mark, and Ablett took it one handed: "Marking contest. There was no contest."

Dennis Cometti on an Ablett one-hander: "That was a party trick, not a mark."

 

[Teriyakicat]

Cats vs Melb R 19, 2011

"It's more than a training drill! It's a game against witches' hats!"