It's the off-season for us.
#1 - Eagles
Naturally. Majestic, native apex predator that shits on everything below it.
#2 - Lions
Much like the above but not native and with a poorer pooping range.
#3 - Tigers
Lions with less hair and no friends. Makes a nice rug, admittedly.
#4 - Demons
Could be higher on the list but the plural suggests a lack of uniqueness common to the lower ranks of the infernal hierarchy. May be demonic equivalent of bin men.
#5 - Kangaroos
The only part of the coat of arms pulling its weight (looking at you, wattle). Can * you up if they want to. Can pause pregnancies, which is a neat trick.
#6 - Crows
Big brains. Can use tools. Black is stylish.
#7 - Magpies
Also big brained but too associated with Collingwood to be higher.
#8 - Swans
Scrapes into the 8 by virtue of being WA's state emblem. Otherwise look good but are dumb as a post and are essentially bottom-feeders.
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#9 - Giants
Useful for reaching things on high shelves, changing light bulbs, etc. Traditionally eat people however.
#10 - Bulldogs
Inbred, can't breath without wheezing, useless legs - basically the Hapsburgs of dogs.
#11 - Cats
Never met one that wasn't utterly neurotic.
#12 - Dockers
Not even what we call them here. Can't be used alone without infringing on a trademark for terrible pants.
#13 - Saints
Seriously? No, seriously?
#14 - Suns
The sun is my skin's mortal enemy. The thought of more than one fills me with disgust and the urge to stay indoors.
#15 - Hawks
Just eagles from Wish.
#16 - Power
It isn't everything. It isn't a good nickname for starters.
#17 - Bombers
Rendered militarily obsolete by ICBMs and armed drones, now only conjures images of terrorists murdering scores of people.
#18 - Blues
Proof that the only creative thing about Carlton is their bookkeeping.
What are your rankings?
#1 - Eagles
Naturally. Majestic, native apex predator that shits on everything below it.
#2 - Lions
Much like the above but not native and with a poorer pooping range.
#3 - Tigers
Lions with less hair and no friends. Makes a nice rug, admittedly.
#4 - Demons
Could be higher on the list but the plural suggests a lack of uniqueness common to the lower ranks of the infernal hierarchy. May be demonic equivalent of bin men.
#5 - Kangaroos
The only part of the coat of arms pulling its weight (looking at you, wattle). Can * you up if they want to. Can pause pregnancies, which is a neat trick.
#6 - Crows
Big brains. Can use tools. Black is stylish.
#7 - Magpies
Also big brained but too associated with Collingwood to be higher.
#8 - Swans
Scrapes into the 8 by virtue of being WA's state emblem. Otherwise look good but are dumb as a post and are essentially bottom-feeders.
_______________
#9 - Giants
Useful for reaching things on high shelves, changing light bulbs, etc. Traditionally eat people however.
#10 - Bulldogs
Inbred, can't breath without wheezing, useless legs - basically the Hapsburgs of dogs.
#11 - Cats
Never met one that wasn't utterly neurotic.
#12 - Dockers
Not even what we call them here. Can't be used alone without infringing on a trademark for terrible pants.
#13 - Saints
Seriously? No, seriously?
#14 - Suns
The sun is my skin's mortal enemy. The thought of more than one fills me with disgust and the urge to stay indoors.
#15 - Hawks
Just eagles from Wish.
#16 - Power
It isn't everything. It isn't a good nickname for starters.
#17 - Bombers
Rendered militarily obsolete by ICBMs and armed drones, now only conjures images of terrorists murdering scores of people.
#18 - Blues
Proof that the only creative thing about Carlton is their bookkeeping.
What are your rankings?
