Your official BigBasketball 2015/16 NBA season preview - now with 15% more childish humour

[stewie griffen]

Team Record: 50-32, 4th in Southwest, 7th in Western Conference, lost 4-1 to Rockets in first round

Team Stats: Ranked #5 offensively, ranked #20 defensively

Team Leaders: Monta Ellis (18.9 ppg), Tyson Chandler (11.5 rpg), Monta/Jameer (4.1apg)

In the danger zone: DeAndre Jordan, Deron Williams, Wesley Matthews, Zaza Pachulia, JaVale McGee, Samuel Dalembert

Goosed: DeAndre Jordan, Monta Ellis, Rajon Rondo

Drafted: Justin Anderson

Notable: Got DeAndre... then lost DeAndre,

So... Dallas, or i have heard them referred to this off season ' The Treadmill of Mediocrity'

Thankfully this guy is gone.

Replaced with this guy.

So thats a plus right, getting rid of a clashing personality and locker room cancer?

Oh.

Nevermind.

Whether you put much stock in the CARMELO mathematical predictions or not I think its fair to say that the majority of guys on the roster are on the downward slope of their careers, or have some major injury questions. Williams is 31, Matthews is 29 coming off an achilles, Dirk is like a thousand years old and Parsons is 27 having just allegedly had microfracture surgery. Even Zaza and Devin are on the wrong side of 30. Still at least they'll have cap space right? Oh so will literally the entire league... um s**t. Could it get worse? Oh they owe the Celtics a 1-7 protected first rounder next draft.

I guess we should break things down. At point we have Deron. A guy who hasn't been successful and healthy for 2 years. Finding himself on a Rick Carlisle coached team could be a blessing, as the pace will pick up and should be much more suited to his game. He's a decent shooter from the corner and is passable from 3 around the arc. The knock on Deron has always been getting to the rim, and last season his finishing at the hoop was deplorable, 33 and 48% on each side of the rim. What Deron shows up this season? I have no idea, but if he's healthy he can be a 15/7 type guy again. At least they have some decent backups..... oh wait JJ and Fatty? Well in the words of Clay Davis...



At least Deron has some playoff experience....



So moving to the 2 we have We$ and Devin Harris. Basketball can be a cruel game sometimes... having a career year, contract year pushing to make some noise in the playooffs.... until everything came crashing down on one fast break in March. Thankfully (for Wes at least) he got his payday, but what do we expect from him this season? As noted by Deadspin's Kyle Wagner in 2013, the history of players recovering from Achilles injuries is onerous. The average player saw aplayer efficiency rating drop of 4.64 points his first year returning from injury while playing more than five fewer minutes per game. Applying that to Wes, he'd an above-average player to being below replacement level. To say his recovery is paramount to Dallas' future might be an understatement. That said, there's no more driven player in the league than Wes, so I'll back him in to make a full recovery.

For a more complete article on Matthews see here - http://grantland.com/features/wesle...quette-university-deandre-jordan-free-agency/

Devin Harris... ok then.

Chandler Parsons had a busy summer, between hybrid microfracture surgery and flirting with DeAndre. If fit, he promises to be one who benefits from the additions of Williams and Wes, allowing for more driving lanes with the spacing on the floor, at least with the starting unit.

In games where Chandler took more than 15 shots (there were 13 such contests), he averaged 22/6/3 whilst shooting 46% overall and 42% from 3. Dallas was 9-4 in those games. When Monta was injured in March Parsons went for 18.3ppg on 53% shooting, and 38% from 3. So the potential is there for Chandler to take a much larger role on offense. Ultimately, it all comes down to health, seems to be a recurring theme here.

http://www.mavsmoneyball.com/2015/9/3/9253517/chandler-parsons-dallas-mavericks-breaking-out-nba

Anderson could be a steal. He showed some nice things at Summer League, putting up some healthy numbers 17.5ppg and 4.2rbg. Ultimately, he's a rookie, so anything he provides will be a bonus. He's shown some range, has a nice first step going left and could work in some pick and pop with Dirk.



Dirk, what more can you say? I'll let Flula speak for me... 'He isnt just outside the box, he eats the box, poops it out, makes a milkshake and makes you drink it'





So we get to the 5.

Oh wait, he changed his mind? Not only did that cost Dallas the services of Jordan, it arguably cost them Chandler as well. You can argue as to whether Jordan was even worth the 4/80 that he had agreed on, but that flip flop has altered the course of this franchise over the next couple of seasons.

After that debacle Dallas swiftly moved on trading for Zaza Pachulia. Zaza's a decent enough player, but the most intriguing thing i can recall on him is how he bought the Bucks old court and shipped it to Georgia to be installed in a basketball academy. Apart from that, he'll get you 7/7 type numbers with the odd double double, but he's no game changer.

Backing up Zaza we have...

Oh damn things are worse than i thought.

Cuban's one of the most polarising owners in sports. Brash, loud, outspoken, yet you can't argue that he loves his franchise. Recently, in reaction to deaths of older ex players, he started a free heart screening program for former Mavs player over 50. But you can't not like a guy for calling out the flog that is Broussard...

https://twitter.com/mcuban/status/619229130744172545?ref_src=twsrc^tfw

Is a Gun - Its a worry when your best player is 37, but Dirk is still by far and away the best player on this roster.

In the Gun - Deron Williams. I think Wes and Parsons will get back to at least near their best, but ultimately they need Williams to get back to his All Star level play to be a shot at anything this season. Somehow i doubt that happens

Improvement - Dallas will never be a defensive powerhouse with a 37 year old Dirk on the floor, but they need to find a way to stop teams from scoring somehow. The addition of Wes and Deron will help in regards to spacing the floor

Question - Will the playoff dream be dead before the season gets off the ground? Son of Skeletor put it succintly 'At the risk of side-tracking into some actual analysis, Dallas don't even seem fit for pre-season. Pre-season is as pre-season does, but it's hard to see them making the same flying start that they did last year. They might be out of playoff calculations within a month...'

Experts opinions - Kidd Vicious

I can answer any question on Dallas that isn't "Can you explain how the team will make the playoffs?"

So how will Dallas make the playoffs?

I was unable to PM you, so if you dont mind answering some questions, just tag me in the answers in here and ill cut and paste in.

Alternatively, how do you see Deron fitting in with the new look backcourt?

Do we see the return of Wes and Chandler to pre-injury levels?

Whats your prediction for the season?

And some friendly word association -

DeAndre

Doc

Blake Griffin

Chris Broussard

Chandler Parsons

Lesbian

Prediction - I'm leaning towards a 35-40 win season and missing the playoffs.

 

[peternorth]

You forgot the kardashian curse sos :-D

I know, I realised just before it finished it. Then with the Odom situation plus the fact that it was already a longarse preview as it was, I just let it go.

I figure it'll probably get a run in the weekly threads anyway

lord dissek. tick.
brucey jenner. tick
lamar. tick
kendell jenner. thank god she's still pure

its a shame kanye doesnt basketball.

 

[peternorth]

Chandler Parsons

currently traversing south china (home of the guangdong tigers feat. yi jianlian, NBAs greatest all time Haitian jeff adrien, and current nbaer emmy mudiay). stumbled across a li-ning store with a large poster of none other than CP. wanted to take a selfie with it, then thought better of it

 

[Oliver King]

its a shame kanye doesnt basketball.

 

[Son of Skeletor]

Great preview stewie griffen.

I know I committed initially to contributing to the preview, but Ive had second thoughts. Another online basketball identity, a more socially aware identity, has asked for my services aswell. He is a basketball savant and has a maniacal commitment to fantasy basketball rules.

But I will honour the verbal commitment I gave to you because I am a man of respect and integrity. Unlike Jordan and the BF Clipper army that has increased to a total of 7 (an increase of 7 from 3 years ago) I will fulfill my informal contractual obligations.

If that spanner wants to go play for more money, in a better city, with a better team...wait, how the **** did we ever get him to agree anyway?

Oh yeah. *flutters*



Conference realignment to the east.

Inexplicable and incessant airline tragedies befalling 12 other Western teams.

A slight change to the playoff seeding. Rather than just the top 8 teams in a conference regardless of division, the top 15 teams in each conference make the playoffs.



He will give us 55 games of 13 and 6 mediocrity, and plenty of peternorth mixed ethnicity references.


Giving a 29 year old a 80m/4 year contract coming off an achilles is the worst decision in franchise history.

Parsons will be an All Star next year. He's a 20/5/5/ player when he gets the ball in his hands.


Lots of injuries. Parsons and Wes come back at Xmas. Deron hurt a lot. The centers hurt. Dirk hurt. My feelings hurt.

I see a 28-54 season coming up.


Campaigner.


Not even a real doctor.


Good 6th man. Could spell Dirk.


Needs to embrace his inner femininity.


Might.


I'd say Ron but your readership would immediately fall asleep, and your threads deserve more respect.


We're closer to being one of the 7 worst teams and keeping our pick than making the playoffs.

It was worth the wait

Quack Rivers has a certain (non-championship) ring to it.

 

[stewie griffen]

I laughed so hard I almost cried :-D

 

[thegrach]

Doc

Not even a real doctor.

[

 

[stewie griffen]

Lakers preview in one vine

 

[djrossie16]

 

[Scallop Industry Thug]

Lakers preview in one vine

Im choosing to believe there was still 16 on the shot clock.

 

[peternorth]

stewie skelator?

 

[djrossie16]

stewie skelator?

stick to your movie reviews brew

 

[Son of Skeletor]

I'm totally making this my tombstone.

 

[peternorth]

stick to your movie reviews brew

i make david and margaret look like the knicks of the movie review world

 

[djrossie16]

i make david and margaret look like the knicks of the movie review world

it always goes back to the Knicks on this board

 

[didaksrightfoot]

Just had to quote this clip for emphasis.

Dirk, what more can you say? I'll let Flula speak for me... 'He isnt just outside the box, he eats the box, poops it out, makes a milkshake and makes you drink it'

I think Dallas can make the playoffs... it just depends on one guy. Is Deron able to miraculously get back to being Utah Deron? And can he maintain it throughout the whole season? This is his chance to show that Brooklyn was just a bad situation/him being disinterested, and not that he's permanently dropped from allstar to also-ran both physically and mentally. Not sure how likely that is to happen though? Odds are though, its more likely that Brooklyn Deron shows up... which would result in the 35-40 wins that you've predicted.

 

[didaksrightfoot]

Team Record: 55-27 (2nd in Southwest, 5th in West), lost 4-3 to Clippers in first round

Team Stats: Ranked #7 offensively, ranked #2 defensively

Team Leaders: Kawhi Leonard (16.5 ppg), Tim Duncan (9.1 rpg), Tony Parker (4.9 apg)


Popped in: LeMarcus Aldridge (4/84), David West (1/min), Jimmer Fredette (1/min), Boban Marjanovic (1/min), Jonathan Simmons (2/min), Ray McCallum (trade)

Spurned: Tiago Splitter (Hawks), Cory Joseph (Raptors), Marco Belinelli (Kings), Aaron Baynes (Pistons)

Draft: C Nikola Milutinov (#26), F Cady Lalanne (#55)

Notable: Re-signed Kawhi Leonard (5/95), Danny Green (4/45), Tim Duncan (2/10), Manu Ginobili (1/3) & Matt Bonner (1/min)

The Lowdown

Well...

That was a nice five minutes when we could dream about the Spurs becoming just another NBA team. After winning five titles, their division every other year, roughly three billion games and routinely schooling the league in the game of drafting and international scouting, now San Antonio has decided to dominate free agency too. Awesome.

For the rest of us success-starved NBA plebs...



So, look - the Spurs made this work by sacrificing. Sacrificing depth, sacrificing money, sacrificing ego. Ergo, as ever it's hard to begrudge them their off-season coup and ongoing success. San Antonio have given their aging Big Three a fillip in the quest for one last title whilst simultaneously ensuring that the team will remain a power long into the future, and they've done it all without out-spending their rivals.

In the short term there will still be dilemmas to solve - the depth that kept Duncan, Parker and Ginobili in cotton balls during the regular season in recent years has dissipated, while the interior defence may not be as fearsome as it once was. There will likely be an adjustment period for all the new recruits and revamped line-ups too.

Nevertheless with Kawhi, Aldridge and Danny Green all locked up through 2019, the Spurs look to have the blueprint for the ultimate smooth succession plan all drawn up. Oh yeah, and naturally they might give the title a shake this year too.

It's just not fair dammit.

So the championship banners go up there, right?


The Roster

GUARD: If you're looking for chinks in the formidable Spurs' armour, then this'd be the place to start.

Tony Parker is coming off possibly the worst season of his career. Dealing with a succession of niggling injuries, TP posted a pedestrian PER of 15.9, with a negative +/- rating and capped by a poor playoff performance where he shot just 36%. Age has no doubt contributed in curtailing his previously electric speed, but the major reason for Parker's decline can be gauged from looking at his shot chart:

It doesn't look terrible (particularly that three point shooting), but a critical part of the Frenchman's arsenal has always been his mid-range pull-up. This is the shot that has kept defenders honest when TP slalomed his way to the basket, but as you can see he shot it a LOT last season, and at a severely reduced accuracy compared to his career. In short, defenders don't need to honour that shot any more and can wall off the basket when he attacks - when combined with reduced athleticism, this is a blow to Parker's efficiency. He's basically become an anti-analytics guy, a non-three point shooter who can't get to the basket as often or the free throw line either.

On a brighter note Danny Green had a tremendous season, knocking down 191 treys at a sizzling 42% and posting career bests in virtually all statistical categories. Not bad for a former second round pick discarded by Cleveland, not bad at all. Of course with the Spurs being the Spurs, they were able to re-sign him at a surprisingly reasonable rate, but what can you do eh? Having two prime defensive hounds at the wings, San Antonio are able to cover Parker's defensive shortcomings more than adequately...

Speaking of defensive shortcomings, Patty Cakes will be back in black and asked to step up his contribution in the wake of Cory Joseph's departure. Mills isn't exactly the gun defender that the latter was, and in truth had a pretty awful season where he struggled with his shot... he did however give San Antonio a major boost in the playoffs, knocking down 16 treys at 57%. With Parker's struggles and a new post weapon in Aldridge to play off, the Spurs will be counting on Patty to deliver more consistently.

San Antonio also need to replace the departed Marco Belinelli, who helped limit Ginobili's minutes during the regular season. Manu's more of a default point guard than a gunner these days, and ideally Popovich would like to keep his minutes below 1500. Joseph and Belinelli gave him that luxury in recent seasons; this year it might become incumbent upon Mills and summer-league standout Jonathan Simmons to help share the load. The latter has decent handles and a flair for the dramatic.


FORWARD: For a cool $180 million, the Spurs might just have locked up the best forward combo in the league.

Kawhi... well, I can't tell you anything here that you don't already know. Finals MVP, Defensive Player of the Year, Baptizer of Souls: Dr Claw will get you next every time.

Just in case 25 years worth of David Robinson and Tim Duncan wasn't enough for you, San Antonio is now home to post-artist extraordinaire LaMarcus Aldridge. As to how he'll fit with the Spurs' core, one would suggest that he shouldn't have too many troubles.

Aldridge's two major offensive strengths are his pick and pop game and his expertise in quickly reading the defence when double-teamed in the post. The latter skill should endear him to his Spurs team-mates who are already will drilled in a system predicated upon precise ball movement, while the former skill might make LMA the key to re-establishing Parker's pick-your-poison game.

Meanwhile, speaking of bona-fide artists...

Everyone's favourite fat Frenchie returns for another season. In all seriousness Diaw is pretty important to the Spurs, as he gives them a different dynamic offensively, is probably underrated defensively and enables them to go smaller when the situation calls for it. He also generally steps it up in the playoffs too.

There's also some guy called David West who's been tagged to fill in a few minutes here or there off the bench. If LMA doesn't work out as a pick and pop partner for Parker, Pop could always give Mr. West a try...

CENTRE: For one season at least, there can be no debate - Tim Duncan is the Spurs' centre.

Entering his 19th season, there's been few signs of decline in the old master yet. His post game is not quite as unstoppable as it once was, but that's OK because he plays with a guy called LeMarcus Aldridge now. Duncan is still an elite force defensively, while his passing prowess has arguably never been better. And as the playoffs showed, he can still take over a game.

Behind Duncan though one finds the second significant chink in the Spurs' otherwise formidable armour. Part of the cost of acquiring LMA was in letting Tiago Splitter depart for Atlanta. While the oft-injured Brazilian big-man sometimes frustrated Spurs fans, there's little point arguing that he generally helped the team on the court.

Where Splitter will really be missed is at the defensive end - he was a masterful pick and roll defender, and both an excellent foil and substitute for Duncan. His departure means that Aldridge now becomes the second-most accomplished interior defender on the roster, and this has a myriad of knock-on effects. For starters, it probably dictates that LMA will spend some significant minutes at centre, simultaneously ensuring that his time shared on court with Duncan will be slashed. It also leaves the Spurs without a true defensive anchor in the event of Duncan getting injured or into foul trouble - part of the reason he has been able to avoid the former was Splitter's presence as a secondary defensive anchor.

The Spurs did draft Nikola Milutinov with the 26th pick, but he won't around any time soon. Another big Serbian however has found his way to the Alamo in the person of Boban Marjanovic. One doubts that he'll fare too well chasing speedy NBA guards around, but woe betide the first intrepid midget to challenge him at the basket...





Pick & Pop - where we pick out one of Pop's best coaching qualities: clear communication

In the Gun: TP phone home.

When your standard of play declines to the point of becoming decidedly mediocre, then folks are less likely to excuse you your faux pas; for instance turnstile defence or seduction of other people's wives. "But I'm French!" is not a bullet-proof fallback defence either, just FYI Tony.

Is a Gun: Tim Duncan

None shall pass in his quest to become the greatest player of his generation.




Needs improvement: Late game execution

It's hard to quibble with a team who have done - and won- everything. They did have their moments in some close games last season though, including the playoffs.

Big Question: Is the balance of San Antonio's much ballyhooed front-court right?

Duncan, LMA, Diaw, West - that's one hell of a talented group. However who relieves Duncan as the defensive anchor and/or ensures that he remains well-rested for the playoffs? Aldridge seems the most logical candidate, but he has an avowed aversion to playing centre and is not really a shot-blocker of note. How the Spurs juggle their stable of big men and in particular Duncan's minutes will be keenly watched by fans and pundits alike.


And now, a word from our sponsors:

The Magic Eight Ball:

Call it a hunch, but I think the Spurs might be pretty good...

Actually I wouldn't be surprised if the Spurs had a (relatively) underwhelming regular season - Parker, Manu and Duncan are all missing their invaluable stunt doubles from last season (Joseph, Belinelli and Splitter respectively), and Pop is unlikely to sacrifice a shot at a title for a few regular season wins. Of course when we're talking about the difference between 55 wins and 65 wins, it's not exactly the end of the world.

San Antonio won't be invincible, but they'll have as good a shot at the title as anyone. Ultimately this off-season was as much about safeguarding the future of the Spurs dynasty as it was about keeping the immediate title window open... and it's hard to argue that they haven't ticked both boxes. Bastards.

Very good write-up on the Spurs.

I was looking at the "popped in" list thinking there was someone missing... I realise it's coz I was counting Anderson as a new addition really.

I think Anderson is gonna be a big key this year. We are lacking our usual depth at the 1-2-3 positions and that will be worse if Manu and/or TP struggle with injury. (Having said that, Pop has historically been pretty good at bringing in guys who can easily step up to be that depth. If Anderson can continue his summer form, then he automatically becomes Kawhi's backup. He can also takeover from Belinelli (and spell Manu) as the additional playmaker for the 2nd unit... because that really isn't one of Mill's strengths. The less minutes that Manu plays, and the more backcourt support that Mills gets the better - and that is going to be dependent on Anderson. (Or Simmons).

As you said - In the frontcourt Splitter is going to be a much bigger loss than many people realise. I would much rather have lost Diaw. But having said that, its not like any of these guys will be front court liabilities, and with Green and Kawhi on the wings - the team should still be able to get defensive stops when it matters.

The regular season will be a tough one... but hopefully come playoffs the Spurs will still be somewhere around the mark and be able to make some noise.

 

[peternorth]

statistically the loss of splitter isnt a big thing. but he brings centre depth and intangibles. wide body protecting the rim and keeping big men away from duncan. defence wasnt great, but he suited the system. he didnt wanna leave, but that's business.

 

[didaksrightfoot]

statistically the loss of splitter isnt a big thing. but he brings centre depth and intangibles. wide body protecting the rim and keeping big men away from duncan. defence wasnt great, but he suited the system. he didnt wanna leave, but that's business.

Agreed. I don't think we were keen to lose him either, but if its a choice between Splitter and Aldridge then you have to do that. Although I think hes been much more important than Duncan defensively for the last couple of years, and you really noticed it when he was out.

Although I am very happy we got him to Atlanta (basically for nothing). He is with a coach and system that will know how to use him, and hopefully he has a good year alongside Horford. (who some analysts said wouldve been a bitter fit for the Spurs than LMA, if only we had the luxury of waiting a year)

 

[stewie griffen]

Oh the Lakers.

Team Record: 21-61, 5th in Pacific

Team Stats: Ranked #24 offensively, ranked #29 defensively

Team Leaders: Jordan Hill 12ppg, Lin 4.6 apg, Hill 7.9rpg

Future Kardashians: Brandon Bass (Boston), Anthony Brown (Stanford), Michael Frazier (Florida), Roy Hibbert (Indiana), Jonathan Holmes (Texas), Larry Nance Jr (Wyoming), D’Angelo Russell (Ohio State) and Louis Williams (Toronto).

Failed Auditions: Vander Blue (Free Agent), Carlos Boozer (Free Agent), Ed Davis (Portland), Wayne Ellington (Detroit), Jordan Hill (Indiana), Wesley Johnson (LA Clippers), Jeremy Lin (Charlotte) and Ronnie Price (Phoenix).

So that roster eh.

Clarkson was a second rounder who found his way into All Rookie selection, albeit it on a decimated Laker roster, yet when it came to draft day, the Lakers swung for the fences and drafted hybrid point D'Angelo Russell. What conclusions can you take from his numbers. 16/5/5 on a 52% TS% in March as a starting rookie is impressive, yet the Lakers were outscored by 5.7 points per 100 possessions with him on the floor. Clarkson ranked second in PER among rookies and 5th in win shares.

He's got a nice touch on the floater, attacks the rim and runs the ball in transition. His shooting has been a weak spot, some of that results from playing alongside Lin. The Boozer/Lin/Clarkson/Sacre/Young group was the second worst in net 3 point makes per 100 possessions at -5.8 and had the second worst 3pt% of any Lakers 5 man unit. His pull up shooting was 36%, far below the realms of the best points in the league. His per 36 pass numbers we lower than the other Lakers points.

http://bballbreakdown.com/2015/02/14/the-rise-of-jordan-clarkson/

Given what the Lakers have invested in DAR, its fair to say he'll find himself starting. Altho whether he finds himself alongside Kobe or Clarkson remains to be seen. Unless Byron goes all out with Kobe at the 3? His Sl numbers were meh, 11.8/3.2 with 5.1 TO's per game. The comparisons with Westbrook are obvious, i guess we shall see if it turns out that way... He did put up 21 against the Jazz, but he'll be up and down like a yo yo as a rookie.

Kobe

Whats that you say?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJNXiQqK08Q

Kobe played 35 games and was done for the year on January 21. It took another 2 months for Jordan Hill to overtake him as the team leader in FGA. All this while shooting 37%...

http://www.si.com/kobe-bryant-derri...-demar-derozan-shooting-percentage-shot-chart


I mean last years shot chart.....



Kobe's pet shot is from the right elbow

But as you can see last year he was down 3 percentage points

CAMRELO has Kobe rated at 236th in the league

And for the man labelled clutch

https://twitter.com/ESPNStatsInfo/status/551258370599313408?ref_src=twsrc^tfw

Kobe Bryant has not made a single clutch shot in the final five seconds of a game in almost three years. Thirteen straight misses, which if you like sound effects goes something like BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG, BONG. BONG.

The killer stat for this team as a whole - The Lakers took 283 more contested jumpers than any other team last season, even with Kobe playing 35 games, and they have now added contested shot taker extraordinaire Lou Will.....

Lou Will is now in LA. Like they need another chucker.... He flourished in the iso heavy offense of Dwayne Casey and brought the Raps back into fame nailing deep 3's adn drawing fouls. Yet he there were also many instances of him needlessly chucking away.

But still... OVO's finest



Swaggy P. My favourite Laker.... who is scared of dolphins



Kobe burn



You cant not love this guy... unless he's on your squad

Randle is set for a breakout year coming off his horror rookie season, but is ineligible for ROY



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwi86vGldoA

He'll struggle on defense, which can be hidden to some degree with Roy behind him, but without Roy?

He has a 7 foot wingspan, not huge amongst todays NBA players, and showed below average defensive instincts in the NCAA. But offensively, he's show some nice skills at creating off the dribble, a bit over reliant on the left, but thats to be expected. What he doesnt have yet is a consistent jumper. That means teams can sag off, and for a guy who isn't great defensivley he'll likely be sharing the floor with Hibbert, which will kill the spacing. He's a decent rebounder with good athleticism and reminds me a bot of Bosh. He's basically a rookie so will be up and down as well, but I'm expecting big things.

Bass meh. He can hit a mid range jumper so he'll get minutes
Kelly meh. White Dukie, you get what you expect, or do you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKxAhXLViuk

Nance meh.

https://vine.co/v/evDarpJJ1HQ

He's a mature rookie so should be ready to go from day 1, whether he can force his way into the rotation remains to be seen, the Lakers are reasonably deep at the 4. He's not great in the post, or shooting off the dribble, but can hit a jumper. He's basically the anti-Randle as he had the reputation of one of the top defensive players on the west coast in college.

This is a joke right? Why oh why did they re-sign Metta?

Hibbert was dumped by Indy for nothing, and finds himself in a contract year. The good?

The bad? The roster is full of below average defenders. The Laker opponents score 19 field goals per game within 5 feet of the rim, 3rd most in the A.

Oh and

50% at the rim... man, for a 7 footer... thats all types of ugh

https://vine.co/v/OdIBZLAAibU

http://grantland.com/the-triangle/r...he-center-and-the-lakers-can-help-each-other/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jECd8HgdpOo

Tarik Black was a handy pickup and played some solid minutes last year, altho he figures to be buried deep in the rotation with the addition of Hibbert.

Edit - I also forgot the coach. Or as i will now refer to him... Dead Man Walking

https://twitter.com/BaxterHolmes/status/523211292081790978
https://twitter.com/BaxterHolmes/status/523232816121663488

Is a Gun - I think Randle is potentially the best player on the roster, I'm not sure what to make of DAR and how he and Clarkson fit together

In the Gun -

It's coming Kobe.....

Improvement - Everywhere. Offensive efficiency was poor, defense was worse

Question - Do they tank? This years pick is top 3 protected... thats a lot of losing

Experts opinions - to add peternorth (will DM)

Crystal Ball - Nostra Stewie foresees 24 wins in the future

 

[didaksrightfoot]

Any chance this is the year Kobe realises that the best thing for his legacy right now is to take a step back and focus on making guys like DAR and Randle better? A Kobe like that could be very useful to this team. (moreso for the future)

A Kobe chasing scoring numbers... Yeah thats not gonna be fun to watch.

 

[stewie griffen]

Any chance this is the year Kobe realises that the best thing for his legacy right now is to take a step back and focus on making guys like DAR and Randle better? A Kobe like that could be very useful to this team. (moreso for the future)

A Kobe chasing scoring numbers... Yeah thats not gonna be fun to watch.

How to answer this question...

Lets take a look at Kobe's first shot this pre season....

 

[stewie griffen]

Hmm i think i went overboard with the vines and youtubes lol, they won't all fit in one post

 

[peternorth]

Oh the Lakers.

oh no, my darkest fears

Team Record: 21-61, 45h in Pacific

is that supposed to be 45th in the pacific? if so, its believable

Team Stats: Ranked #24 offensively, ranked #29 defensively [/QUOTE]

yay! there's one worse team at D than us. wait, there's 30 teams in the nba yes?

Team Leaders: Jordan Hill 12ppg, Lin 4.6 apg, Hill 7.9rpg

and they've all left..... sigh.

Future Kardashians: Brandon Bass (Boston), Anthony Brown (Stanford), Michael Frazier (Florida), Roy Hibbert (Indiana), Jonathan Holmes (Texas), Larry Nance Jr (Wyoming), D’Angelo Russell (Ohio State) and Louis Williams (Toronto).

for their sake they better hope frankenstein (khloe) and middle sister syndrome (kourtney) are taken before being kardashianed. kendall is the one they must focus all their energies on (jenner not marshall)

Gone: Vander Blue (Free Agent), Carlos Boozer (Free Agent), Ed Davis (Portland), Wayne Ellington (Detroit), Jordan Hill (Indiana), Wesley Johnson (LA Clippers), Jeremy Lin (Charlotte) and Ronnie Price (Phoenix).

put them in a line up i reckon i'd recognise two of them, maybe 3.

At least the Lakers can lay claim to being the first NBA team to have 1.25 asians in their 3 point guard rotation (mandatory racial reference Kidd Vicious)

Kobe's pet shot is from the right elbow

as kobe ages his game evolves. that right elbow will be his staple this year. lock it in.

some great names to be compared to there. havlicek, dominique, AE....

He'll struggle on defense, which can be hidden to some degree with Roy behind him, but without Roy?

He has a 7 foot wingspan, not huge amongst todays NBA players, and showed below average defensive instincts in the NCAA.

7 foot wingspan you say? to me he remind me of kevin willis, the human t-rex.

am in china at the moment. will hunt that panda down.

Crystal Ball - Nostra Stewie foresees 24 wins in the future

you are very kind stewie.

Summary: gotta protect that top 3 protected pick.

 

[peternorth]

This seasons favourite for the bigfooty basketball pulitzer prize, stewie griffen, as asked for a more thorough analysis. Here are his questions:

How do you see the Clarkson/DAR backcourt working?
That's a terrific question, thanks for asking stewie.
I was astounded when Silver read out DARs name. Firstly, the initials DAR remind me of SARS, the respiratory disease that engulfed south east asia, and originated in the Guangdong province. Wait, Guangdong.....THAT'S WHERE I AM TYPING THIS POST FROM RIGHT NOW!!!!! Vale me.

Anyway, okafor surely was the better bet. I mean, a centre you can pair with randle!!! FFS they would be the next twin/freedom towers! jesus christ.

It's such a bad selection, but its here now so yeah, leaves the laker coaches in a tough position. As a no 2 pick he starts, but clarkson is a breakout star. Both need balls in their hands, and then kobe comes back. s**t. Unfortunately it means Clarko goes to the bench, something that may tear the team apart. Or slide kobe to the 3. May god have mercy.

Why oh why did you sign Metta?
i dont know

Is Byron Scott the coach to take LA forward or is he the next to be fired?
FIRE HIS ARSE!!!! Although in his defense what does he have to work with? I read with interest someone referring to the lakers as a bunch of misfits last year. square pegs in round holes. none of them knew what was going on. and neither did scott. I expect derek fisher to be the next head coach, a personal decision to be closer to his lover.

What expectations do you have for Larry Nance?
I dont mind the player. strong DNA, we've already seen he can jump. But he's so raw with no discernible post moves to speak of. Perhaps a spot up and shoot role is for him, like a diet coke version of pork-zingas.

i think he makes the roster however. newspaper editors will love him. slam dunk participant potential too.

Do you re-sign Roy Hibbert?
You mean the only guy who can play D? In that respect, yes. But if we're after kevin durant in the off season he maybe expendable.

And some Word association

Colorado derailed our season(s)
Clippers still irrelevant
Jim Buss campaigner nugget
Swaggy P mrs azalea
Iggy biceps
Dwight crybaby.gif
Chucking lou williams
Missed game winners see chucking
Overpaid boozer
Infidelity tiger woods
Non-warrior pass
Cursed Los Angeles Lakers