Michael Voss is 100% a shit bloke.

[The Cryptkeeper]

Is Michael Voss actually trying to kill Patrick Cripps

9

Patrick Cripps

Age

30

Ht

195cm

Wt

93kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

25.9

5star

K

9.8

4star

HB

16.1

5star

M

3.4

3star

T

5.8

5star

CL

7.4

5star

D

21.0

5star

K

10.1

4star

HB

10.9

5star

M

2.5

3star

T

3.8

4star

CL

6.3

5star

D

12.6

4star

K

4.8

2star

HB

7.8

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

3.2

5star

CL

1.4

4star

? Sending a guy who has been basically crippled by injury for the last two years into the ruck to be physically mugged by an actual giant is perverse.

I know Carlton have treated Cripps like garbage for pretty much his whole career but this is next level shithousery.

One must ask, is Michael Voss some sort of sociopath? Or just your garden variety shitcampaigner?

 

[zackah]

I saw him at a petrol station once and he didn't use the squeegee to clean his car window even though it had bird on it.

Shit bloke.

 

[juice t]

 

[Lethality]

Nobody ever discusses the epic amount of farting that must go on in every coaches box.

 

[HAPPY CHEFFY]

Carlton flogs to be bumping this thread en masse and kicking the shit out of him once Vossy is sacked midway through next year.

 

[Sqotty from office works]

Carlton flogs to be bumping this thread en masse and kicking the shit out of him once Vossy is sacked midway through next year.

In about 3 weeks

 

[Chief]

I know Carlton have treated Cripps like garbage

Haha - the burning hate.

Cripps will survive a tough game, I'm sure.

 

[Laphroaig]

Is Michael Voss actually trying to kill Patrick Cripps? Sending a guy who has been basically crippled by injury for the last two years into the ruck to be physically mugged by an actual giant is perverse.

I know Carlton have treated Cripps like garbage for pretty much his whole career but this is next level shithousery.

One must ask, is Michael Voss some sort of sociopath? Or just your garden variety shitcampaigner?

How's Mitch the saviour going trying to shop out Titchell and Chad for even a stale pack of Samboys?

Any takers yet? A late third for both maybe?

An Academic question for me, because neither would get a run at Carlton. We don't need a Give It To ME Crab OR a Lazy Selfish Show Pony.

In other news, the prevailing opinion is that Cripps has 17 Brownlow votes to date. Which would be more than the entire Hawthorn team I suspect.

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

How's Mitch the saviour going trying to shop out Titchell and Chad for even a stale pack of Samboys?

Any takers yet? A late third for both maybe?

An Academic question for me, because neither would get a run at Carlton. We don't need a Give It To ME Crab OR a Lazy Selfish Show Pony.

In other news, the prevailing opinion is that Cripps has 17 Brownlow votes to date. Which would be more than the entire Hawthorn team I suspect.

Are you lost friend?

This thread is about sociopath Michael Voss. What are your thoughts on him trying to kill Carlton’s greatest modern day player?

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Haha - the burning hate.

Cripps will survive a tough game, I'm sure.

Cripple will survive (for now) in spite of crazy Vossy.

When he falls over late in the season though, you know exactly who to blame.

 

[FISTO]

Well, yeah

 

[Chief]

Cripple will survive (for now) in spite of crazy Vossy.

When he falls over late in the season though, you know exactly who to blame.

Imagine putting a football player on the field! In a football game!

**** me! The world is gonna explode!

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Silvagni and Cripps in the ruck, flag guaranteed

Well played Crazy Vossy. Well played

 

[Cotchins Hair Piece]

I think it’s way harsher putting Silvagni in the ruck. He looks like he’s going to cry when he just runs onto the ground.

 

[Chief]

He looks like he’s going to cry when he just runs onto the ground.

He has that face, doesn't he?

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Nobody ever discusses the epic amount of farting that must go on in every coaches box.

Sooz tells me Cousin Brad used to let off some rippers and would hotbox the entire coaching staff.



These days he just farts into a tape recorder, slaps a label marked "ideas for improving the game" onto the tape and posts it to Gil.

 

[The Cryptkeeper]

Imagine putting a football player on the field! In a football game!

fu** me! The world is gonna explode!

Now Chief can you honestly say you were impressed when you saw Cripps running around last year in game after game when he was so obviously injured?

Now they stick him in the ruck to get mugged?

Oh boy, wowee.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Now Chief can you honestly say you were impressed when you saw Cripps running around last year in game after game when he was so obviously injured?

Now they stick him in the ruck to get mugged?

Oh boy, wowee.

This would explain everything:

Walls back at the Blues

Carlton great Robert Walls will return to Ikon Park as a mentor to the Blues' coaching panel.

www.carltonfc.com.au

"Hey Vossy, give Crippa a spell in the ruck"

 

[Lethality]

Farts could be released to keep the defensive coach on task. So in the Essendon Sydney game Ben Rutten

Ben Rutten

Age

42

Ht

190cm

Wt

98kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.4

3star

K

6.3

2star

HB

7.0

4star

M

5.3

5star

T

1.3

3star

No current season stats available

D

10.6

3star

K

6.2

3star

HB

4.4

4star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.0

3star

would be hotboxing continuously.

 

[Chief]

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Farts could be released to keep the defensive coach on task. So in the Essendon Sydney game Ben Rutten would be hotboxing continuously.

Seriously though, one time at the start of 2021, Brad pondered "How do we stop the Richmond juggernaut continually winning flags?"
He got out his tape recorder, let out a particularly loud and nasty "BRRRRRAAAAAP" and sent it to Gil.
Gil opened up his fart to English translator App and the computer emitted a very loud "STAAAAAAAANNND"!
Gil passed the info onto Brad.
"Genius!", Brad said quietly to himself.

And that is the story of how the Richmond dynasty ended and the Melbourne reign began.

 

[FISTO]

sooz is going to destroy you weedy ferkers when she sees this

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

sooz is going to destroy you weedy ferkers when she sees this

She can't threaten me with a good time!

 

[RAPPA]

Cripps is contractually obliged under his 6 year contract to cop a battering. The boys is just fulfilling his duties.

 

[FISTO]

She can't threaten me with a good time!

This is why I need the queen reaction dammit