Media Falcon Files: $weet $alary $peculation$ (s40)

[Falconista]

Heritage round continues on and the Falcon Files has another piece of throwback media for you, it's time for the S40 edition of $weet $alary $peculation$.

​

On a recent Sunday afternoon, this writer was awaiting philreich to finish posting a thriller so the ladder and results thread could be updated. Bored, one decided to go for a wander around SFA House. Other than seeing serial_thrilla rummaging around suspiciously for what he called "team sheet errors", it was a rather uneventful walk.

Until I got back to my workstation that is.

On my desk was a sticky note telling me to check the vegetable crisper of the middle fridge of the lunch room. There I found a manilla folder with the salaries of every currently listed Sweet FA qootballer. Folks, it's time to disclose how clubs are renumerating their previous players.

In brief:

• There are 37 'million dollar' players across the Sweet FA (up from 22 in S37).​
• Each team has at least one 'million dollar' player, with one club having five (!).​
• The highest-paid players in the league are on the tasty wicket of $1,600,000!​
• Some players are getting paid partly in alternate forms of currency such as nuts (Chipmunk), Guinness (Robertio), Clarkemonies, Crypto etc. In these cases, salaries have been converted back to Australian Dollars for consistency.​

Here are the parameters:

• All rookies are valued at $100k​
• Senior players cannot be valued at less than $110k.​
• If applicable for club veterans, ONE player who has played 300 games for the club can have 50% of their salary excluded from the cap and an ADDITIONAL ONE player if they've played 400 games or more for the club has their whole salary excluded from the cap.​
• All salary caps have a ceiling of $13 million. There is no minimum cap.​
• Player's salary valuations determined by each club's financial departments (likely taking into account activity in match threads, media, recent qooty output and miscellaneous factors such as LG status and if the player has recently changed clubs as a much sought-after commodity). If you don't like your valuation, take it up with your manager, LG.... and because he's probably to blame in some way- NaturalDisaster.​
• Because they're admin, Gralin's salary is 500k (as he can siphon funds from the league take a per diem for work at SFA House).​
• Squad lists correct at November 1, 2025.​

Order of disclosure (as determined by randomiser):

First updates to be posted later tonight (WA time)

 

[Robertio]

I'd keep an eye on Tigerturbulance and his salary cap, he be paying with dog and cat food under the table, could be classed as 3rd party payments.

 

[sportsmaniac89]

I'd like to call for any club over the $13m salary cap to be held accountable*

*This could backfire on me big time if the Swamprats are over the $13m

 

[Pugsley]

We recruit rookies under the soft...leave it Pugsley.

 

[Jabba73]

There is a Cap?

Who knew?

 

[ClarkeM]

Love to see more of this stuff. It’s good content.

 

[Falconista]

In a team stacked with beez medallists, it shouldn't surprise that Coney Island have one of the highest salary caps in the league. Capitalism is well and truly at work here with TIF and Bob each commanding huge salaries, with six further players taking home a salary of 850 to 975k. Eight players who combine for 7.575m if you don't mind!

From there, there are two bargain priced players who are either the victim of the salary squeeze or keep getting TIF's coffee order wrong- spudmaster on just 675k and The Half Back on a paltry 450k. Salaries gradually reduce from the with the Wahs possessing a strong 'c tier' of players.

Since the last salary cap update, the Warriors have players eligible for veteran status and have taken advantage with half of zackah's wage paid by league headquarters and off the Warriors' books.

Highest paid players: Tonga Bob (1.6m), TheInjuryFactory (1.45m), FootyGuy13 (975k), Dinsdale (950k), pantskyle (875k) and The Filth Wizard (875k).​

Spoiler: Warriors player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WARRIORS	S40 Salary	Tier
1	Tonga Bob	$ 1,600,000	S
2	TheInjuryFactory	$ 1,450,000	S
3	FootyGuy13	$ 975,000	A
4	Dinsdale	$ 950,000	A
=5	pantskyle	$ 875,000	B
=5	The Filth Wizard	$ 875,000	A
7	Barrybran	$ 850,000	A
8	spudmaster	$ 675,000	A
9	The Half Back	$ 450,000	A
10	jannissary	$ 400,000	B
=11	Freofalcon	$ 300,000	C
=11	Piggy Smalls	$ 300,000	C
=11	zackah	$ 300,000	VET
14	Raveneyes	$ 250,000	C
15	JHF1870	$ 220,000	C
=16	Mesc	$ 150,000	C
=16	Reginald Perrin	$ 150,000	C
=16	Riviat	$ 150,000	C
=16	Snuffaluphagus	$ 150,000	C
=20	brian_muz	$ 130,000	C
=20	Frankston Rover	$ 130,000	B
=20	Mofra	$ 130,000	C
=20	Moo	$ 130,000	C
=20	Paracleet	$ 130,000	C
=20	Smoooothy	$ 130,000	C
=20	toxic	$ 130,000	C
=27	brahj	$ 110,000	C
=27	Lord_Flashheart	$ 110,000	C
=27	Stokey	$ 110,000	C
30​	ubiquitous226	$ 100,000	ROOK

 

[GreyCrow]

Our summer shacks

 

[ClarkeM]

View attachment 2471249

In a team stacked with beez medallists, it shouldn't surprise that Coney Island have one of the highest salary caps in the league. Capitalism is well and truly at work here with TIF and Bob each commanding huge salaries, with six further players taking home a salary of 850 to 975k. Eight players who combine for 7.575m if you don't mind!

From there, there are two bargain priced players who are either the victim of the salary squeeze or keep getting TIF's coffee order wrong- spudmaster on just 675k and The Half Back on a paltry 450k. Salaries gradually reduce from the with the Wahs possessing a strong 'c tier' of players.

Since the last salary cap update, the Warriors have players eligible for veteran status and have taken advantage with half of zackah's wage paid by league headquarters and off the Warriors' books.

Highest paid players: Tonga Bob (1.6m), TheInjuryFactory (1.45m), FootyGuy13 (975k), Dinsdale (950k), pantskyle (875k) and The Filth Wizard (875k).​

Spoiler: Warriors player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WARRIORS	S40 Salary	Tier
1	Tonga Bob	$ 1,600,000	S
2	TheInjuryFactory	$ 1,450,000	S
3	FootyGuy13	$ 975,000	A
4	Dinsdale	$ 950,000	A
=5	pantskyle	$ 875,000	B
=5	The Filth Wizard	$ 875,000	A
7	Barrybran	$ 850,000	A
8	spudmaster	$ 675,000	A
9	The Half Back	$ 450,000	A
10	jannissary	$ 400,000	B
=11	Freofalcon	$ 300,000	C
=11	Piggy Smalls	$ 300,000	C
=11	zackah	$ 300,000	VET
14	Raveneyes	$ 250,000	C
15	JHF1870	$ 220,000	C
=16	Mesc	$ 150,000	C
=16	Reginald Perrin	$ 150,000	C
=16	Riviat	$ 150,000	C
=16	Snuffaluphagus	$ 150,000	C
=20	brian_muz	$ 130,000	C
=20	Frankston Rover	$ 130,000	B
=20	Mofra	$ 130,000	C
=20	Moo	$ 130,000	C
=20	Paracleet	$ 130,000	C
=20	Smoooothy	$ 130,000	C
=20	toxic	$ 130,000	C
=27	brahj	$ 110,000	C
=27	Lord_Flashheart	$ 110,000	C
=27	Stokey	$ 110,000	C
30​	ubiquitous226	$ 100,000	ROOK

Season 37?

 

[Falconista]

Season 37?

Give a guy the time to make a stealthy edit.

 

[ClarkeM]

Give a guy the time to make a stealthy edit.

To be fair I gave you ten minutes and it was still there and I couldn’t ****ing not, carry on now

 

[Falconista]

Next on the list are the current ladder leaders. The double blues have one veteran (soon to be lifer) with 80k of StFly's salary off the books.

The three highest paid Gumbies are their vice captains. However in a boilover, it is cats_09 and not GWS Goose holding the most lucrative contract (this masthead is reliably told that a clause in Goose's contract guaranteeing him top billing become void when Barrybran left the club). Next come three players on 900k, including the rapidly blossoming Super who like cats has more than doubled their pay in the last three seasons.

The Gumbies have a proliferation of players in the 200-650k range. This includes late recruit DenieD who seems to be on a probationary rate, considering their CV. There is room to move for the Gumbanian folk to deepen their list at the trade table this off season. Will they hook a big fish or be catfished?

Highest paid players: cats_09 (1.35m), GWS Goose (1.1m), beez (950k), Falconista (900k), Hydatina Physis (900k) and Supercheapgiants (900k).​

Spoiler: Gumbies player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	GUMBIES	S40 Salary	Tier
1	cats_09	$ 1,350,000	S
2	GWS Goose	$ 1,100,000	S
3	beez	$ 950,000	S
=4	Falconista	$ 900,000	A
=4	Hydatina Physis	$ 900,000	S
=4	Supercheapgiants	$ 900,000	A
7	Brick Loosener	$ 650,000	B
8	Mop	$ 600,000	B
9	DenieD	$ 500,000	A
=10	CatToTheFuture	$ 350,000	C
=10	Dory_77	$ 350,000	C
=10	ossie_21	$ 350,000	C
=10	weltschmerz	$ 350,000	B
14	Cactus_	$ 300,000	B
15	nobbyiscool	$ 200,000	C
16	NSWCROW	$ 180,000	C
17	StFly	$ 160,000	VET
18	bone2468	$ 150,000	C
=19	Aucklander	$ 110,000	C
=19	Bartel	$ 110,000	C
=19	DinoSoar	$ 110,000	C
=19	EagleOz	$ 110,000	C
=19	HotPiesWithSauce	$ 110,000	C
=19	Jeremias	$ 110,000	C
=19	rye	$ 110,000	C
=19	saintkildaman	$ 110,000	C
=19	Thailander	$ 110,000	C
=19	The_Wookie	$ 110,000	C
=29	Matthew Jelley	$ 100,000	ROOK
=29	Spooky17	$ 100,000	ROOK

 

[ClarkeM]

Mop is being paid overs

 

[Mop]

Mop is being paid overs

Shh don’t tell him

 

[cats_09]

Now then, can anyone help explain how one goes about transferring their SFA salary into real money

 

[ClarkeM]

Now then, can anyone help explain how one goes about transferring their SFA salary into real money

Speak to Chief

 

[dogs105]

Speak to Chief

Doesn't Chief just do all payments in Beancoin?

 

[Braklet]

Doesn't Chief just do all payments in Beancoin?

Chief prefers NFTs

 

[Tonga Bob]

View attachment 2471256

In a team stacked with beez medallists, it shouldn't surprise that Coney Island have one of the highest salary caps in the league. Capitalism is well and truly at work here with TIF and Bob each commanding huge salaries, with six further players taking home a salary of 850 to 975k. Eight players who combine for 7.575m if you don't mind!

From there, there are two bargain priced players who are either the victim of the salary squeeze or keep getting TIF's coffee order wrong- spudmaster on just 675k and The Half Back on a paltry 450k. Salaries gradually reduce from the with the Wahs possessing a strong 'c tier' of players.

Since the last salary cap update, the Warriors have players eligible for veteran status and have taken advantage with half of zackah's wage paid by league headquarters and off the Warriors' books.

Highest paid players: Tonga Bob (1.6m), TheInjuryFactory (1.45m), FootyGuy13 (975k), Dinsdale (950k), pantskyle (875k) and The Filth Wizard (875k).​

Spoiler: Warriors player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	WARRIORS	S40 Salary	Tier
1	Tonga Bob	$ 1,600,000	S
2	TheInjuryFactory	$ 1,450,000	S
3	FootyGuy13	$ 975,000	A
4	Dinsdale	$ 950,000	A
=5	pantskyle	$ 875,000	B
=5	The Filth Wizard	$ 875,000	A
7	Barrybran	$ 850,000	A
8	spudmaster	$ 675,000	A
9	The Half Back	$ 450,000	A
10	jannissary	$ 400,000	B
=11	Freofalcon	$ 300,000	C
=11	Piggy Smalls	$ 300,000	C
=11	zackah	$ 300,000	VET
14	Raveneyes	$ 250,000	C
15	JHF1870	$ 220,000	C
=16	Mesc	$ 150,000	C
=16	Reginald Perrin	$ 150,000	C
=16	Riviat	$ 150,000	C
=16	Snuffaluphagus	$ 150,000	C
=20	brian_muz	$ 130,000	C
=20	Frankston Rover	$ 130,000	B
=20	Mofra	$ 130,000	C
=20	Moo	$ 130,000	C
=20	Paracleet	$ 130,000	C
=20	Smoooothy	$ 130,000	C
=20	toxic	$ 130,000	C
=27	brahj	$ 110,000	C
=27	Lord_Flashheart	$ 110,000	C
=27	Stokey	$ 110,000	C
30​	ubiquitous226	$ 100,000	ROOK

It's an honest living, isn't that right TheInjuryFactory?

 

[Falconista]

FIVE million dollar players, yep, the Ophidian salary cap is rather full.

There have been some significant changes since season 37 though. Power couple Mr and Mrs Turbo have taken a significant pay cut so their club can recruit some high-priced recruits. The Turbo's are only taking home 1.85m now, down from 2.65m. Braklet has joined the million dollar club (although only ~720k USD) while major recruits Pugsley and philreich are each on seven figures. Popular veteran Dingster takes home 900k, a surprising figure in some ways considering his heinous anti-ruck views in a club helmed by two premiership rucks.

With 16 players on 300k or more, the Old Boys have impressive depth but are going to have to dig deep into their bag of tricks to entice some players this off season. One suspects they'll have no trouble.

Highest paid players: Braklet (1.1m), Elton Johns Wig (1.1m), Tigerturbulance (1.1m), philreich (1m) and Pugsley (1m).
​

Spoiler: Old Boys player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	OLD BOYS	S40 Salary	Tier
=1	Braklet	$ 1,100,000	S
=1	Elton Johns Wig	$ 1,100,000	S
=1	Tigerturbulance	$ 1,100,000	S
=4	philreich	$ 1,000,000	S
=4	Pugsley	$ 1,000,000	S
6	Dingster	$ 900,000	A
7	thewizardmelon	$ 800,000	A
=8	gab213	$ 750,000	A
=8	Mrs Turbo	$ 750,000	A
=10	manicpie	$ 550,000	B
=10	Over The Post	$ 550,000	B
=10	sabso	$ 550,000	A
13	Fleabane	$ 500,000	B
=14	Harvey Manfrenjensenden	$ 450,000	C
=14	King Tenz	$ 450,000	B
16	Wacky Tiger	$ 300,000	C
17	BRAB	$ 160,000	C
18	JuddgementDay	$ 150,000	C
19	Wickzki	$ 140,000	C
=20	fumbler	$ 110,000	C
=20	Hoos	$ 110,000	C
=20	Iva Bigun	$ 110,000	C
=20	tigerland_1720	$ 110,000	C
=24	hammer180	$ 100,000	ROOK
=24	HitTheNailOnTheHead	$ 100,000	ROOK

 

[Dingster]

View attachment 2471638

FIVE million dollar players, yep, the Ophidian salary cap is rather full.

There have been some significant changes since season 37 though. Power couple Mr and Mrs Turbo have taken a significant pay cut so their club can recruit some high-priced recruits. The Turbo's are only taking home 1.85m now, down from 2.65m. Braklet has joined the million dollar club (although only ~720k USD) while major recruits Pugsley and philreich are each on seven figures. Popular veteran Dingster takes home 900k, a surprising figure in some ways considering his heinous anti-ruck views in a club helmed by two premiership rucks.

With 16 players on 300k or more, the Old Boys have impressive depth but are going to have to dig deep into their bag of tricks to entice some players this off season. One suspects they'll have no trouble.

Highest paid players: Braklet (1.1m), Elton Johns Wig (1.1m), Tigerturbulance (1.1m), philreich (1m) and Pugsley (1m).
​

Spoiler: Old Boys player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	OLD BOYS	S40 Salary	Tier
=1	Braklet	$ 1,100,000	S
=1	Elton Johns Wig	$ 1,100,000	S
=1	Tigerturbulance	$ 1,100,000	S
=4	philreich	$ 1,000,000	S
=4	Pugsley	$ 1,000,000	S
6	Dingster	$ 900,000	A
7	thewizardmelon	$ 800,000	A
=8	gab213	$ 750,000	A
=8	Mrs Turbo	$ 750,000	A
=10	manicpie	$ 550,000	B
=10	Over The Post	$ 550,000	B
=10	sabso	$ 550,000	A
13	Fleabane	$ 500,000	B
=14	Harvey Manfrenjensenden	$ 450,000	C
=14	King Tenz	$ 450,000	B
16	Wacky Tiger	$ 300,000	C
17	BRAB	$ 160,000	C
18	JuddgementDay	$ 150,000	C
19	Wickzki	$ 140,000	C
=20	fumbler	$ 110,000	C
=20	Hoos	$ 110,000	C
=20	Iva Bigun	$ 110,000	C
=20	tigerland_1720	$ 110,000	C
=24	hammer180	$ 100,000	ROOK
=24	HitTheNailOnTheHead	$ 100,000	ROOK

I'll give up another 100k to raise Sweet awareness of what a bunch of meatheads the rucks are. Lets look at the first bounce of the Bombers and Wonders game as exhibit A. Players come out all pumped up. Centre clearance structures all planned. Then this...

1 : 0 {C} - Both ruckmen fooled by a rare decent bounce up.

 

[Falconista]

I'll give up another 100k to raise Sweet awareness of what a bunch of meatheads the rucks are. Lets look at the first bounce of the Bombers and Wonders game as exhibit A. Players come out all pumped up. Centre clearance structures all planned. Then this...

1 : 0 {C} - Both ruckmen fooled by a rare decent bounce up.

Better that than being fooled by shoelaces and milk cartons like you soft-flopping pretty boys.

 

[Dingster]

Better that than being fooled by shoelaces and milk cartons like you soft-flopping pretty boys.

The milk carton had a picture of a ruckman gone missing.

 

[Falconista]

The milk carton had a picture of a ruckman gone missing.

I, too, remember the dark days of s38 when TRUMAN#1 lost his swagger.

 

[Falconista]

Onto a club with one of the smaller salary caps. Two beloved experienced heads in lifer larrikin and veteran Biggie further help to lower the cap.

A significant amount of East Side's salary cap goes to their Demon recruits. Perennial rookie sausageroll is doing very nicely earning 600k more than they were in season 37 at the Dees. That is dwarfed by cats2rise whose value has more than doubled in the same time. Clearly Hawks HQ has shown no hesitation in opening the war chest to entice recruits.

Tarks and Guns remain well paid, as they were in the last instalment of this media, with TY24 joining them in the 900k club as testament to their growing stature. Meanwhile, the loyal Tadpole feels like a steal at 350k- might be time to renegotiate and ask for that loyalty to be converted to dollars. With more than half the list valued under 250k, the Hawks' wage composition worryingly resembles a pyramid.

Plenty of cap room here for the East Siders this offseason and a financial team happy to throw around big bucks. Which free agent will be next to join and will they be from Mount Buller?

Highest paid players: sausageroll (1.45m), cats2rise (1.2m), Callums_Guns (900k), Tarkyn_24 (900k) and TY24 (900k).​

Spoiler: Hawks player salaries ranked in descending order

RANK	HAWKS	S40 Salary	TIER
1	sausageroll	$ 1,450,000	S
2	cats2rise	$ 1,200,000	A
=3	Callums_Guns	$ 900,000	A
=3	Tarkyn_24	$ 900,000	A
=3	TY24	$ 900,000	A
6	eth-dog	$ 600,000	B
7	Zoops	$ 400,000	C
8	Tadpole	$ 350,000	B
9	The Majestic	$ 300,000	C
10	boncer34	$ 250,000	C
=11	Biggie	$ 200,000	LIFER
=11	Giant Strides	$ 200,000	C
=11	Itsmyshow	$ 200,000	VET
14	SM	$ 170,000	C
15	larrikin	$ 150,000	C
=16	RU_	$ 130,000	C
=16	Shermy	$ 130,000	C
=18	A Bit Dusty	$ 110,000	C
=18	Drunkgoliath	$ 110,000	C
=18	haydo	$ 110,000	C
=18	jackenny	$ 110,000	C
=18	Loonerty	$ 110,000	C
=18	Red mist	$ 110,000	C
=18	reggie	$ 110,000	C
=18	The Blue Weirdo	$ 110,000	C