Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[Andrewgtv05]

Player #19 - Matt Owies
View attachment 2493012
Pictured: a rare photo of Matt Owies making a West Coast fan happy

Matt Owies is a former 179cm basketballer who went to Carlton, was pushed out because they didn't want him, and found himself at a wooden spoon West Coast side for the 2025 season.

Matt started his US basketball college career at the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, which is weird to have a team named after a Greenpeace yacht that went down. After then transferring to the Seattle Titanics then the Orlando Armitages, he signed with Carlton as a Cat B rookie.

Quickly settling in as a small marking forward, Matt earned the ire of Carlton fans by being their third best goalkicker in 2024. Then Vossy decided to fool everybody by putting him up for trade and West Coast pounced.

This season Owies managed to play 16 games as a small forward. He kicked 7 goals in total, including 2 goals against Richmond in a rare win that he wouldn't have experienced in Round 1 had he stayed with Carlton. This 7 goal tally includes the 1 goal from his last 7 games at West Coast. He's a 28 year old contracted for 2 more years at a team playing its worst football in it's entire existence.

Fun fact: Owies was part of a trade that handed pick 3 to Carlton. Nobody knows why either club made that trade. Special comments professionals looks at both clubs these days and simply sigh "I'm tired, boss".

Matt, Owies, thank for your two word assessment of Carlton earlier in the year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

Can I say that Jagga Smith was better in 2025 than Matt Owies?

 

[springvale_mackers]

Player #19 - Matt Owies
View attachment 2493012
Pictured: a rare photo of Matt Owies making a West Coast fan happy

Matt Owies is a former 179cm basketballer who went to Carlton, was pushed out because they didn't want him, and found himself at a wooden spoon West Coast side for the 2025 season.

Matt started his US basketball college career at the Hawaii Rainbow Warriors, which is weird to have a team named after a Greenpeace yacht that went down. After then transferring to the Seattle Titanics then the Orlando Armitages, he signed with Carlton as a Cat B rookie.

Quickly settling in as a small marking forward, Matt earned the ire of Carlton fans by being their third best goalkicker in 2024. Then Vossy decided to fool everybody by putting him up for trade and West Coast pounced.

This season Owies managed to play 16 games as a small forward. He kicked 7 goals in total, including 2 goals against Richmond in a rare win that he wouldn't have experienced in Round 1 had he stayed with Carlton. This 7 goal tally includes the 1 goal from his last 7 games at West Coast. He's a 28 year old contracted for 2 more years at a team playing its worst football in it's entire existence.

Fun fact: Owies was part of a trade that handed pick 3 to Carlton. Nobody knows why either club made that trade. Special comments professionals looks at both clubs these days and simply sigh "I'm tired, boss".

Matt, Owies, thank for your two word assessment of Carlton earlier in the year. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

Quite good. But you forgot to mention he got traded to the only club that suffered from COVID and the worst injury crisis that ever happened in the AFL.

 

[Todman]

Joe Root might actually score a Test century in Australia before the Roos see any success.

Miracles happen.

 

[AlecDuncan]

Player #19 - Matt Owies

He kicked 7 goals in total, including 2 goals against Richmond in a rare win that he wouldn't have experienced in Round 1 had he stayed with Carlton.

Poor Matt. He's better than this. I think he got broken during shipment. It's a cruel biz.

 

[Pistol Night]

Poor Matt. He's better than this. I think he got broken during shipment. It's a cruel biz.

Well you shouldn't send garden gnomes via Australia Post

 

[Baldur]

If Carltank keeps shipping their spuds out, they might end up with a decent team.



Nuh, they are a magic pudding of spuds.

 

[philreich]

Well you shouldn't send garden gnomes via Australia Post

I heard that Australia Post was planning to release a new St. Kilda postage stamp, to commemorate the 60th anniversary of their last flag. However those plans were shelved when it became evident that Carlton fans wouldn't have known which side to spit on.

 

[Hamingja]

Owies a rare trade that made both teams worse.

 

[hawkman]

Owies a rare trade that made both teams worse.

Not really that rare when Carlton are involved. Likely to be the same with TDK

 

[ferrisb]

JSOS was a father son pick with SOS being at the Saints now and one of Ross Lyon's mates.

Nepsostism...

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Owies a rare trade that made both teams worse.

Actually numbnuts, getting rid of Owies made Voss finally start play Ashton Moir, who has more talent in his pinky finger than Owies has in his entire body.

You Cotton On Flogs really don't know Sweet Fanny Adams about teams and players outside your tinpot provincial shithole lol

 

[AlecDuncan]

I heard that Australia Post was planning to release a new St. Kilda postage stamp, to commemorate the 60th anniversary of their last flag. However those plans were shelved when it became evident that Carlton fans wouldn't have known which side to spit on.

If we'd traded Owies to St Kilda, they would have set him on fire.

 

[hawkman]

If we'd traded Owies to St Kilda, they would have set him on fire.

Probably still would have been more useful that way than what he was at West Coast

 

[WillHayward]

Quite good. But you forgot to mention he got traded to the only club that suffered from COVID and the worst injury crisis that ever happened in the AFL.

Was a worse injury list than the Battle of the Somme according to Eagles fans.

 

[hawkman]

Was worst than the Battle of the Somme according to Eagles fans.

Well West Coast have become more like Zanzibar against the British since then. Zanzibar may actually have put up more fight than West Coast do most weeks

 

[Mofra]

Player #18 - Jy Simpkin

12

Jy Simpkin

Age

27

Ht

183cm

Wt

77kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.0

4star

K

7.9

3star

HB

8.1

5star

M

2.4

3star

T

3.3

5star

CL

2.9

4star

D

20.6

5star

K

11.0

4star

HB

9.6

5star

M

2.0

2star

T

3.5

4star

CL

5.5

5star

D

10.0

3star

K

5.6

3star

HB

4.4

4star

M

2.8

3star

T

2.4

4star

CL

0.2

2star

Pictured: Jy, presumably trying to rip off his jumper mid-game

Jy Simpkin

12

Jy Simpkin

Age

27

Ht

183cm

Wt

77kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.0

4star

K

7.9

3star

HB

8.1

5star

M

2.4

3star

T

3.3

5star

CL

2.9

4star

D

20.6

5star

K

11.0

4star

HB

9.6

5star

M

2.0

2star

T

3.5

4star

CL

5.5

5star

D

10.0

3star

K

5.6

3star

HB

4.4

4star

M

2.8

3star

T

2.4

4star

CL

0.2

2star

has been North's captain for 3 years now, sharing duties with Luke McDonald during 2023 & 2024 and being their sole captain in 2025.
He's played 174 games for North Melbourne, for 45 wins. That's a win record of 26% which, if it was an ATAR, would make him "the most gifted Sidebottom".

Speaking of Collingwood, the Pies chased him hard during trade period because Simpkin wanted to chase success and despite being captain, he's not good enough to play midfield at North when their players are all fit.
Oscar Allen

12

Oscar Allen

Age

26

Ht

196cm

Wt

96kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.8

2star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.2

3star

M

3.8

4star

T

2.4

4star

G

1.1

4star

No current season stats available

D

8.6

3star

K

5.8

3star

HB

2.8

3star

M

3.8

4star

T

2.0

4star

G

1.2

4star

, as captain, handed West Coast pick 2 in compo.
The Hawks were willing to hand over 3 first round picks and a player for Zac Merrett.

Jy was worth.. a second rounder. Maybe.

This shattering blow to Jy's ego caused him to go crawling back to North "with open arms" which being North I can only assume is a reference to tackling practice.

It's certainly not winning practice, nor 'shutting up' practice either:

“Mouthing off”: Cornes’ scathing take on North skipper

The Roos captain was apparently “extremely vocal”.

www.sen.com.au

“I’m led to believe that he was extremely vocal and mouthing off to the likes that you wouldn’t see from a very, very poor football team.
“He was on the lip all day. This is a captain who can’t even play in his own midfield, playing half-forward.

“The way that he carried on on the weekend for a player that’s won 16 games in six years…

Yes, the irony of Cornes being annoyed at a bloke who won't shut up isn't lost but the point is made.

Jy represented the indigenous all stars this year and grew up in Mooroopna, in Victoria which was also the birthplace of a drag queen named Ashley Madison which is one of the best drag names I've heard.
Other notable drag names include Bob the Drag Queen, Karen from Finance, and Footy Is The Win.

Jy, good luck seeing out your contract in 2029. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Player #18 - Jy Simpkin
View attachment 2494686
Pictured: Jy, presumably trying to rip off his jumper mid-game

Jy Simpkin has been North's captain for 3 years now, sharing duties with Luke McDonald during 2023 & 2024 and being their sole captain in 2025.
He's played 174 games for North Melbourne, for 45 wins. That's a win record of 26% which, if it was an ATAR, would make him "the most gifted Sidebottom".

Speaking of Collingwood, the Pies chased him hard during trade period because Simpkin wanted to chase success and despite being captain, he's not good enough to play midfield at North when their players are all fit.
Oscar Allen, as captain, handed West Coast pick 2 in compo.
The Hawks were willing to hand over 3 first round picks and a player for Zac Merrett.

Jy was worth.. a second rounder. Maybe.

This shattering blow to Jy's ego caused him to go crawling back to North "with open arms" which being North I can only assume is a reference to tackling practice.

It's certainly not winning practice, nor 'shutting up' practice either:

“Mouthing off”: Cornes’ scathing take on North skipper

The Roos captain was apparently “extremely vocal”.

www.sen.com.au

Yes, the irony of Cornes being annoyed at a bloke who won't shut up isn't lost but the point is made.

Jy represented the indigenous all stars this year and grew up in Mooroopna, in Victoria which was also the birthplace of a drag queen named Ashley Madison which is one of the best drag names I've heard.
Other notable drag names include Bob the Drag Queen, Karen from Finance, and Footy Is The Win.

Jy, good luck seeing out your contract in 2029. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

Wouldn't want to be Jye Simpkin or Footy Is Good right now

 

[76woodenspooners]

Jy was worth.. a second rounder. Maybe.

Fact check: That’s over-selling him, Collingwood actually offered a future second rounder.

Which, if you ask a Collingwood supporter, would be a pick in the mid 70’s.

If you ask anyone else, would be around pick 15.

 

[weltschmerz]

Jy represented the indigenous all stars this year and grew up in Mooroopna, in Victoria which was also the birthplace of a drag queen named Ashley Madison which is one of the best drag names I've heard.

Also the hometown of Laitham Vandermeer. (Mooroopna, not Ashley Madison.)

 

[Ocha905]

Player #18 - Jy Simpkin
View attachment 2494686
Pictured: Jy, presumably trying to rip off his jumper mid-game

Jy Simpkin has been North's captain for 3 years now, sharing duties with Luke McDonald during 2023 & 2024 and being their sole captain in 2025.
He's played 174 games for North Melbourne, for 45 wins. That's a win record of 26% which, if it was an ATAR, would make him "the most gifted Sidebottom".

Speaking of Collingwood, the Pies chased him hard during trade period because Simpkin wanted to chase success and despite being captain, he's not good enough to play midfield at North when their players are all fit.
Oscar Allen, as captain, handed West Coast pick 2 in compo.
The Hawks were willing to hand over 3 first round picks and a player for Zac Merrett.

Jy was worth.. a second rounder. Maybe.

This shattering blow to Jy's ego caused him to go crawling back to North "with open arms" which being North I can only assume is a reference to tackling practice.

It's certainly not winning practice, nor 'shutting up' practice either:

“Mouthing off”: Cornes’ scathing take on North skipper

The Roos captain was apparently “extremely vocal”.

www.sen.com.au

Yes, the irony of Cornes being annoyed at a bloke who won't shut up isn't lost but the point is made.

Jy represented the indigenous all stars this year and grew up in Mooroopna, in Victoria which was also the birthplace of a drag queen named Ashley Madison which is one of the best drag names I've heard.
Other notable drag names include Bob the Drag Queen, Karen from Finance, and Footy Is The Win.

Jy, good luck seeing out your contract in 2029. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.