Family & Relationships Advice for youngsters, suggestions invited.

[repeatoffender]

A friend has hinted that he would like me to be Godfather to his son. I'm assuming that I will be required to offer advice to the lad as he grows up.

I came up with a few tips which I've listed below.

1. If a girl looks like a man.. she probably is /was.

2.There's a reason why it's cheap.

3. Never eat in a place where the menu displays photographs of the food (Bill Bryson).

Anymore hints to help the young lad navigate his way through life?

 

[pezz]

4. GD is a perfectly suitable substitute for real parents and real education.

 

[DeadlyAkkuret]

[YOUTUBE]LSo7bWWuavg[/YOUTUBE]

 

[rhinowce]

5. If it smells dont lick it..

 

[DeadlyAkkuret]

6. There are ALWAYS spiders present.

 

[grizzlym]

7. Don't run with a sabre while drunk.

 

[Damon_3388]

8. Enter through the BACCSdoor when possible.

 

[rhinowce]

8. Enter through the BACCSdoor when possible.

9. just check that there's no plums hanging down below..

 

[Doctor Feel]

6. There are ALWAYS spiders present.

QFT.

6it'satrapdoors

 

[Dont be a lemon]

10. Don't become a Christian

 

[pezz]

11. it's not a lie if you believe it.

12. it does not matter how liberated the world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.

13. Learn to play pool or darts. Any sport that can get you free drinks and make you money while hanging out at the pub is truly the sport of kings.

14. Always hide womens phone numbers under mens names in your phone.

 

[repeatoffender]

Indeed wise words GD'ers.

During the day I've received more pointers from my learned work colleagues.

15. If it has **** or wheels it'll give you trouble in the end.

16. Never drink in an establishment with a flat roof.

17. Members of the opposite sex who wear white jeans are not to be trusted.

18. On a one night stand always be aware of the location of your trousers.

19. Knowledge speaks wisdom listens.

20. Never scratch your ball sack after cutting chillies (even after washing hands).

21. Never park next to a dented car.

 

[pezz]

22. Never trust a person who has a hyphenated name.

 

[pezz]

23. Tip bartenders at the beginning of the night

 

[Poseidon]

Never go against the family

 

[Plugger35]

The better looking a chick is in Thailand, the more chance she is a ladyboy.

 

[Bowski]

26: The Van Buren Boys never bother their own kind.
27: Never badmouth a bouncer in his venue.

 

[Hard Ball Get]

28. If the river runs red take the dirt track instead.
29. Up the bum no babies.

 

[Schulzenfest]

http://trollscience.com/troll/view/643

All the tips he needs to get through life are here.

 

[rofltown]

never move cities for a girl