peternorth
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- May 6, 2005
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- #26
your racist undertones are disgraceful
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All Time NBA Draft Teams - Your vote!
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your racist undertones are disgraceful
So much love for PN's team.
peternorth
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- May 6, 2005
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Hi everybody, as a long time observer of this board, really enjoyed reading through this draft. Only started following the NBA in the last two years (jumped on the John Wall bandwagon, and now I'm stuck following the Wizards haha), and reading the other thread has really expanded my knowledge of the NBA.
Was just wondering whether the more informed posters could comment on players who either went too high/went too low or who didn't get selected at all. I see people have mentioned Ginoble, but what about Ben Wallace; i don't think I saw anyone take him in the draft. As I say, I haven't really followed the NBA all that long, but I thought a 4x Defensive Player of the Year might have got a spot in some of the later rounds. Was there any reasons he was overlooked? Did he win DPOY when there weren't many other good defensive players in the league?
Was just wondering whether the more informed posters could comment on players who either went too high/went too low or who didn't get selected at all. I see people have mentioned Ginoble, but what about Ben Wallace; i don't think I saw anyone take him in the draft. As I say, I haven't really followed the NBA all that long, but I thought a 4x Defensive Player of the Year might have got a spot in some of the later rounds. Was there any reasons he was overlooked? Did he win DPOY when there weren't many other good defensive players in the league?
peternorth
Moderator
- May 6, 2005
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- #31
ben wallace is a one way player, that's his problem. he had some good years in detroit, but IMO flamed out in chicago. then disappeared.
Anyone wondering how these matchups would play out?
Well, I ran the teams through a complex Basketball Simulation System whose algorithm utilises such factors as Per Game Averages, Team +/-, PER and Win Shares.
After running over 1 million simulations here is the most common outcome of a Playoff series:
Quarterfinals:
1. Jodzilla Thrillers - jod23
C - Dwight Howard
PF - Dirk Nowitzki
SF - Dominique Wilkins
SG - Michael Jordan
PG - John Stockton
Bob Cousy
Alonzo Mourning
Grant Hill
Chris Mullin
Jerry Lucas
vs
8. Stone Cold Thrilla's - Raffrox
C - Patrick Ewing
PF - Bob Pettit
SF - Larry Bird
SG - Kobe Bryant
PG - Isiah Thomas
Pete Maravich
Artis Gilmore
Joe Dumars
Dave Cowens
David Thompson
Heading into the matchup, there's more than just a semi finals berth on the line with the owners agreeing that the series winner gets exclusive rights to the Thrillers/Thrilla's nickname.
As Game 1 tips off, Kobe exchanges a fist bump with his hero MJ, which Jordan barely acknowledges.
Awestruck, Kobe continues trying desperately to get Jordan's attention throughout the game with idle chatter, even conversing in both Italian and Spanish in order to impress his hero.
But Jordan is paying little attention to Bryant, instead leading the Thrillers to an early double-digit lead.
Kobe wonders "Why isn't MJ even acknowledging me?" and this frustration is compounded when Jordan shares friendly words with his own idol, David Thompson, during the game.
A disheartened Kobe begins to force it in the 2nd half and ends up shooting 8-24 as Jod's Thrillers take a blowout victory.
----------------
Jordan starts off slowly in Game 2, taking a back seat to allow his teammates to get more involved on offense. This mindset reaps dividends, with Nowitzki catching fire early. Bob Pettit, confused by the existence of the 3-point line (let alone the existence of a 7-foot, agile, three point shooting German) is torched by Dirk in the post, off the dribble and from beyond the arc as the Thrillers skip out to a 20 point half-time lead.
Raffrox's Thrilla's need a spark off the bench in the 2nd half and they get it - not from their flashy scorers - but from the hard working Cowens, who pairs up with Bird for a gritty, Celtics-led comeback in the 2nd half.
With the game getting close, Jordan decides enough is enough and hits some crucial shots down the stretch. Seeing this, Kobe naturally attempts to imitate MJ but is not as successful, airballing 2 late jumpshots sllowing the oppostition Thrillers to hold on to the win.
----------------
In Raffrox's locker room prior to Game 3, Bird, recognising the detrimental effect of Kobe's infatuation with Jordan, approaches Isiah for a private conversation.
"Hey Zeke. We can't have Kobe chucking up all these tough jumpshots. He's trying to be like Mike but he just isn't as good...maybe you could freeze him out like you did MJ at the '85 All-Star game."
Isiah agrees and they look elswhere during the game. Ewing drops fadeaways over the outstretched arms of Howard. Thomas has his way with Stockton and Cousy. Maravich and Thompson come off the bench to wreak havoc.
Despite all this, it remains a close contest as Jordan continues to make basket after basket unimpeded. To combat this the Thrilla's coach starts Dumars over Kobe in the 2nd half in a reformation of the Bad Boy backcourt. However, the strategy of Dumars as a Jordan stopper isn't working without the accompanying Bad Boy frontline, with Ewing in particular heistant to lay out his old buddy Jordan.
So the imposing Gilmore is subbed in mid-way through the 3rd with the express instruction to carry out the Jordan Rules. After one particularly hard Gilmore foul on a Jordan drive, Kobe extends his hand to help Jordan up but Bird and Isiah step in and tell Kobe to leave him on the ground "This ain't no time for making friends" Bird tells Kobe's.
And like that, a light bulb seems to go off in Kobe's head...he frees himself of burden, of trying to live up to Jordan's standards. With his mind freed, clarity is introduced to his game - post moves are crisper, he attacks the basket and gets to the line, he gets his legs into the jumpshot. Ultimately, he hits big shots in the clutch and raffrox's Thrilla's get their first series win.
As the buzzer sounds he shows the Kobe face. The Black Mamba has arrived.
------------------
It's Game 4 and player introductions are about to start. Dwight Howard is trying to lighten the mood after a disappointing Game 3 loss. He tells his teammates to form a circle around him so he can bust out a few dance moves, but they just stand there and shake their heads in disbelief. Howard walks away disappointed, muttering something about "Too many white guys."
After a quiet few games, Jod's Thrillers try to go to Dwight early, but his (lack of) post moves can't outmaneouver Ewing. After Ewing blocks a running hook shot that everyone could see coming, Jordan is disgusted and chews him out during a timeout. Howard responds with a goofy grin which further irritates Jordan. Coming back onto the court after the timeout, Jordan whispers to Ewing "I can't believe our owner drafted that flamin' ****** over you"
While Howard still can't get going, it is instead another player struggling early in the series who now steps up: Bob Pettit comes out of the gates determined, using his vast offensive talents to draw early fouls on Dirk.
Lucas subs in for Dirk but can't handle Pettit either so the coach responds by trying Grant Hill against the relentless Forward. But Hill bites on a pump fake and lands on Pettit's foot, severely spraining his ankle. Jordan looks on, angry that Hill decided to wear Filas instead of Nikes. Hill argues that he was at his peak in Filas. Jordan shoots back "Hey, Pistons buy Nikes too."
MJ himself is still being targeted by the Jordan rules. With Gilmore resting in the 2nd half, Thomas decides to attack Jordan before he can get in the paint. Isiah ends up clotheslining Jordan as he starts to drive. A scuffle ensues as other players jump in to try and break it up. Mourning gets involved and raffrox subsequently comes onto the court and hangs onto Mourning's leg, trying nsuccessfully to break things up.
After the dust settles, Jordan & Thomas are both ejected. It's still a tightly contested game as Wilkins takes up the scoring slack in Jordan's absence, scoring on pull-up jumpers, one-handed floaters and even the odd 3. Bird responds in kind, taking over the leadership role and dropping in buckets from all over the court, with both left and right hands.
The duel heats up to an exciting climax...Bird-Wilkins, Wilkins-Bird. Who will blink first?
...It's Wilkins, who misses a 20 foot jumpshot in the final minute while Bird goes to the other end and calmly nails another jumper for the win.
We're tied at 2-all.
----------------
The all-important Game 5 is not much of a contest. The ejected antagonists are back and Jordan, steam bellowing from his ears, erupts for 52 points. It's Grant Hill who is the surprise though, winding back the clock to produce a triple double. He switches onto Isiah defensively and makes it harder for Thomas to serve up easy baskets to Gilmore and Pettit.
After Hill's virtuoso performace, Jordan looks down and notices Grant is wearing a pair of Nikes. "Is it the shoes?" he asks.
-----------------
Game 6 and now facing elimation, it's Kobe, Bird and Thomas who are fighting valiantly to stay alive. They aren't getting much help elswhere though. Maravich and Thompson are firing blanks. Ewing looks afraid during this high-pressure situation.
It's a low-scoring affair with neither team able to get separation from the other. Inevitably it comes down to execution in the final minutes. Jordan. Bird. Dirk. Kobe. They all hit big shots down the stretch.
As the clock ticks into the last 30 seconds raffrox's Thrilla's have the ball with the score tied. Thomas dribbles at the top of the key, surveying his options. He sees Bird curl off a back pick waving for the ball but he is well-covered by Jordan.
Instead he goes to Kobe in the post. As Bryant begins to make his move Mourning comes over from the weakside. Kobe rises and shoots the fadeaway over the double team...it rattles in and out.
Lucas gobbles up the rebound, his 25th of the night. With scores still tied and only time enough for one shot, Jod's Thrillers don't call a timeout - they know where they want the ball to go. Consequently, Jordan receives it at the high post...8 seconds left. He pivots to a face up...5 seconds. As he begins his move he also attracts a double team, but unlike Kobe he dishes off to a teammate as the help arrives, finding a wide open Mullin who hits the buzzer-beating jumper for the game and the series.
Jod's Thrillers move on to the next round. Bird is pissed.
(more matchup reusults to come)
Well, I ran the teams through a complex Basketball Simulation System whose algorithm utilises such factors as Per Game Averages, Team +/-, PER and Win Shares.
After running over 1 million simulations here is the most common outcome of a Playoff series:
Quarterfinals:
1. Jodzilla Thrillers - jod23
C - Dwight Howard
PF - Dirk Nowitzki
SF - Dominique Wilkins
SG - Michael Jordan
PG - John Stockton
Bob Cousy
Alonzo Mourning
Grant Hill
Chris Mullin
Jerry Lucas
vs
8. Stone Cold Thrilla's - Raffrox
C - Patrick Ewing
PF - Bob Pettit
SF - Larry Bird
SG - Kobe Bryant
PG - Isiah Thomas
Pete Maravich
Artis Gilmore
Joe Dumars
Dave Cowens
David Thompson
Heading into the matchup, there's more than just a semi finals berth on the line with the owners agreeing that the series winner gets exclusive rights to the Thrillers/Thrilla's nickname.
As Game 1 tips off, Kobe exchanges a fist bump with his hero MJ, which Jordan barely acknowledges.
Awestruck, Kobe continues trying desperately to get Jordan's attention throughout the game with idle chatter, even conversing in both Italian and Spanish in order to impress his hero.
But Jordan is paying little attention to Bryant, instead leading the Thrillers to an early double-digit lead.
Kobe wonders "Why isn't MJ even acknowledging me?" and this frustration is compounded when Jordan shares friendly words with his own idol, David Thompson, during the game.
A disheartened Kobe begins to force it in the 2nd half and ends up shooting 8-24 as Jod's Thrillers take a blowout victory.
----------------
Jordan starts off slowly in Game 2, taking a back seat to allow his teammates to get more involved on offense. This mindset reaps dividends, with Nowitzki catching fire early. Bob Pettit, confused by the existence of the 3-point line (let alone the existence of a 7-foot, agile, three point shooting German) is torched by Dirk in the post, off the dribble and from beyond the arc as the Thrillers skip out to a 20 point half-time lead.
Raffrox's Thrilla's need a spark off the bench in the 2nd half and they get it - not from their flashy scorers - but from the hard working Cowens, who pairs up with Bird for a gritty, Celtics-led comeback in the 2nd half.
With the game getting close, Jordan decides enough is enough and hits some crucial shots down the stretch. Seeing this, Kobe naturally attempts to imitate MJ but is not as successful, airballing 2 late jumpshots sllowing the oppostition Thrillers to hold on to the win.
----------------
In Raffrox's locker room prior to Game 3, Bird, recognising the detrimental effect of Kobe's infatuation with Jordan, approaches Isiah for a private conversation.
"Hey Zeke. We can't have Kobe chucking up all these tough jumpshots. He's trying to be like Mike but he just isn't as good...maybe you could freeze him out like you did MJ at the '85 All-Star game."
Isiah agrees and they look elswhere during the game. Ewing drops fadeaways over the outstretched arms of Howard. Thomas has his way with Stockton and Cousy. Maravich and Thompson come off the bench to wreak havoc.
Despite all this, it remains a close contest as Jordan continues to make basket after basket unimpeded. To combat this the Thrilla's coach starts Dumars over Kobe in the 2nd half in a reformation of the Bad Boy backcourt. However, the strategy of Dumars as a Jordan stopper isn't working without the accompanying Bad Boy frontline, with Ewing in particular heistant to lay out his old buddy Jordan.
So the imposing Gilmore is subbed in mid-way through the 3rd with the express instruction to carry out the Jordan Rules. After one particularly hard Gilmore foul on a Jordan drive, Kobe extends his hand to help Jordan up but Bird and Isiah step in and tell Kobe to leave him on the ground "This ain't no time for making friends" Bird tells Kobe's.
And like that, a light bulb seems to go off in Kobe's head...he frees himself of burden, of trying to live up to Jordan's standards. With his mind freed, clarity is introduced to his game - post moves are crisper, he attacks the basket and gets to the line, he gets his legs into the jumpshot. Ultimately, he hits big shots in the clutch and raffrox's Thrilla's get their first series win.
As the buzzer sounds he shows the Kobe face. The Black Mamba has arrived.
------------------
It's Game 4 and player introductions are about to start. Dwight Howard is trying to lighten the mood after a disappointing Game 3 loss. He tells his teammates to form a circle around him so he can bust out a few dance moves, but they just stand there and shake their heads in disbelief. Howard walks away disappointed, muttering something about "Too many white guys."
After a quiet few games, Jod's Thrillers try to go to Dwight early, but his (lack of) post moves can't outmaneouver Ewing. After Ewing blocks a running hook shot that everyone could see coming, Jordan is disgusted and chews him out during a timeout. Howard responds with a goofy grin which further irritates Jordan. Coming back onto the court after the timeout, Jordan whispers to Ewing "I can't believe our owner drafted that flamin' ****** over you"
While Howard still can't get going, it is instead another player struggling early in the series who now steps up: Bob Pettit comes out of the gates determined, using his vast offensive talents to draw early fouls on Dirk.
Lucas subs in for Dirk but can't handle Pettit either so the coach responds by trying Grant Hill against the relentless Forward. But Hill bites on a pump fake and lands on Pettit's foot, severely spraining his ankle. Jordan looks on, angry that Hill decided to wear Filas instead of Nikes. Hill argues that he was at his peak in Filas. Jordan shoots back "Hey, Pistons buy Nikes too."
MJ himself is still being targeted by the Jordan rules. With Gilmore resting in the 2nd half, Thomas decides to attack Jordan before he can get in the paint. Isiah ends up clotheslining Jordan as he starts to drive. A scuffle ensues as other players jump in to try and break it up. Mourning gets involved and raffrox subsequently comes onto the court and hangs onto Mourning's leg, trying nsuccessfully to break things up.
After the dust settles, Jordan & Thomas are both ejected. It's still a tightly contested game as Wilkins takes up the scoring slack in Jordan's absence, scoring on pull-up jumpers, one-handed floaters and even the odd 3. Bird responds in kind, taking over the leadership role and dropping in buckets from all over the court, with both left and right hands.
The duel heats up to an exciting climax...Bird-Wilkins, Wilkins-Bird. Who will blink first?
...It's Wilkins, who misses a 20 foot jumpshot in the final minute while Bird goes to the other end and calmly nails another jumper for the win.
We're tied at 2-all.
----------------
The all-important Game 5 is not much of a contest. The ejected antagonists are back and Jordan, steam bellowing from his ears, erupts for 52 points. It's Grant Hill who is the surprise though, winding back the clock to produce a triple double. He switches onto Isiah defensively and makes it harder for Thomas to serve up easy baskets to Gilmore and Pettit.
After Hill's virtuoso performace, Jordan looks down and notices Grant is wearing a pair of Nikes. "Is it the shoes?" he asks.
-----------------
Game 6 and now facing elimation, it's Kobe, Bird and Thomas who are fighting valiantly to stay alive. They aren't getting much help elswhere though. Maravich and Thompson are firing blanks. Ewing looks afraid during this high-pressure situation.
It's a low-scoring affair with neither team able to get separation from the other. Inevitably it comes down to execution in the final minutes. Jordan. Bird. Dirk. Kobe. They all hit big shots down the stretch.
As the clock ticks into the last 30 seconds raffrox's Thrilla's have the ball with the score tied. Thomas dribbles at the top of the key, surveying his options. He sees Bird curl off a back pick waving for the ball but he is well-covered by Jordan.
Instead he goes to Kobe in the post. As Bryant begins to make his move Mourning comes over from the weakside. Kobe rises and shoots the fadeaway over the double team...it rattles in and out.
Lucas gobbles up the rebound, his 25th of the night. With scores still tied and only time enough for one shot, Jod's Thrillers don't call a timeout - they know where they want the ball to go. Consequently, Jordan receives it at the high post...8 seconds left. He pivots to a face up...5 seconds. As he begins his move he also attracts a double team, but unlike Kobe he dishes off to a teammate as the help arrives, finding a wide open Mullin who hits the buzzer-beating jumper for the game and the series.
Jod's Thrillers move on to the next round. Bird is pissed.
(more matchup reusults to come)
- Apr 2, 2000
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- Liverpool, Chicago Bulls.
- Thread starter
- #35
Hans! That is one of the best things ive read on BF in a long time. Cant wait for all the rest! You pretty much nailed everyone. I was laughing out loud.
Im glad in game 6 Mourning was on the floor in the clutch. Ill use him as a closer in big games over Howard. Mullin makes the winner, exactly why I drafted him to spread the floor and hit open looks.
Im glad in game 6 Mourning was on the floor in the clutch. Ill use him as a closer in big games over Howard. Mullin makes the winner, exactly why I drafted him to spread the floor and hit open looks.
- Apr 2, 2000
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- 26,391
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- Thread starter
- #36
As PN said, Wallace was a one way player. Other DPOTY winners like Howard, Mourning, Garnett, even Mutombo give you far more on the offensive end than Wallace would.
OrdinaryJoel
Brownlow Medallist
Hans Moleman's post is so good! An All Time simulation for an All Time Draft battle...priceless! 
Was laughing so hard, and I was going for the underdog towards the end of that epic game 6!
Was laughing so hard, and I was going for the underdog towards the end of that epic game 6!
No it's not!Hans! That is one of the best things ive read on BF in a long time. Cant wait for all the rest! You pretty much nailed everyone. I was laughing out loud.
Im glad in game 6 Mourning was on the floor in the clutch. Ill use him as a closer in big games over Howard. Mullin makes the winner, exactly why I drafted him to spread the floor and hit open looks.
It's garbage! My team lost. You forgot to mention that Tim Donaghy was the ref!!
Where's Pistol Pete in the series. Too busy signing autographs and just being total frciken awesome!!
Top work hans. Its an awesome read.
I was ment to to vote for Messenger not PrimetimePricey.
- Apr 2, 2000
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- 26,391
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- Liverpool, Chicago Bulls.
- Thread starter
- #41
No it's not!
It's garbage! My team lost. You forgot to mention that Tim Donaghy was the ref!!
Where's Pistol Pete in the series. Too busy signing autographs and just being total frciken awesome!!
Top work hans. Its an awesome read.
You're the coach Raff?? Why do you have it in Kobe's hands at the death. Get the ball in Bird's hands. MJ was too much for you. To be fair though, he is Michael Jordan.
- Jun 18, 2008
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You're the coach Raff?? Why do you have it in Kobe's hands at the death. Get the ball in Bird's hands. MJ was too much for you. To be fair though, he is Michael Jordan.
I just needed MJ to be the GM for your team and I would have swept the series.
The Quarterfinals continue...
2. The Up Kates Uptons - Peternorth
C - David Robinson
PF - Moses Malone
SF - Clyde Drexler
SG - Reggie Miller
PG - Magic Johnson
Allen Iverson
Dikembe Mutombo
Kevin Durant
Wes Unseld
Maurice Cheeks
vs
7. The O-Gasms - JPSauce
C - Hakeem Olajuwon
PF - Charles Barkley
SF - John Havlicek
SG - George Gervin
PG - Oscar Robertson
Elvin Hayes
Sam Jones
Bill Walton
Nate "Tiny" Archibald
Alex English
It's the day before Game 1.
Dozens of reporters have gathered inside the Uptons practice facility with the team having just finished a preparatory walkthrough. A circle of journalists - 3 rows deep - forms around Magic, interested in what this smiling assassin has to say. Others gather around Reggie Miller, never short of a soundbite. Owner peternorth is there too and he's questioned about his thoughts on the matchup. "I've got plenty of experience dealing with O-Gasms" he says.
A few ambitious journos try to get a word out of Mutombo but they can't understand a thing he says, so they move on to Moses and ask him how the team will fare in the Playoffs. Moses replies tersely: "Fo', fo', fo' ".
The scene at the O-Gasms facility couldn't be any different. Only a handful of reporters have showed up, ignoring the majority of the team and predictably gravitating towards Barkley & Walton. They're asked for their thoughts on Malone's prediction. Barkley says it's "Turrible!" while Walton calls it "The worst prediction in the history of mankind."
---------------
Game 1 begins and everything is clicking for the Uptons.
Miller is running Gervin ragged around screens. Malone is getting easy shots around the basket. Mutombo & Durant are eventually subbed in for these 2 but there is no respite for the O-Gasms.
Barkley and Hayes have trouble shooting over Mutombo and his blocked shots lead to fast breaks with Magic at the helm, flanked by Drexler on one wing and KD on the other. It results in a flurry of dunks for the Uptons. After Drexler glides in from the wing for one such dunk, he runs back downcourt and gives a playful nudge to old college teammate Hakeem. "This is fun...reminds me of our Phi Slamma Jamma days." He gives a smirk but Hakeem is not amused.
The game is fast getting out of hand for the O-Gasms but they remain out of sync. Their frontline is being overpowered, the offensive spacing is all messed up on the perimeter. Their transition defense is pitiful.
They don't recover and the game is over by 3-quarter time.
---------------
The Uptons expect more of a contest in Game 2 but the O-Gasms come out sluggish yet again.
Magic offers no sympathy and instead orchestrates an offense that is once again firing on all cylinders, as the patterns from Game 1 re-emerge. He pairs up with Drexler again and again on the fast break. He drives the lane and dumps the ball to the Admiral for easy buckets. He delivers pinpoint passes to Reggie after he emerges from traversing the baseline. Reggie's on fire.
The O-Gasms find themselves in another double-digit hole, with Magic playing the puppet master.
He finally heads towards the bench for a much needed rest midway through the 2nd quarter. Iverson begins to tear off his warmups in anticipation of a call-up but the coach calls for Cheeks instead. Iverson slumps back down in his seat.
With Magic resting, the strategy switches to 'feeding the beast', and Moses is overpowering a terrified Barkley in the post, forcing Hakeem to double. It's an easy read and react situation for the Uptons as they kick the ball out of the post, swing it and get it to Durant in the far corner...Swish. Durant gets another couple of open looks and pretty soon he's on fire as well.
In fact, the Uptons are shooting an amazing 60% from the field entering the 4th quarter with Miller and Durant a combined 15-20 from 3-point land. As the final period begins, Robinson decides to get in on the fun and drops in a trey of his own as the lead balloons out to 30 points. Magic, who isn't afraid to wave his towel, gets up off the bench and cheers, a big grin on his face. In fact it seems the entire Upton bench having a great time...everyone that is, except Iverson.
The coach calls AI to enter the game in garbage time but Iverson pretends not to hear and stays glued to his seat, a glum look on his face. Cheeks attempts to coax him into entering the game but still no movement.
The Uptons coast to an easy 2-0 series lead as Iverson stews on the bench.
----------------
Iverson, unhappy that Durant is the favoured scoring option off the bench and unable to even secure the backup PG spot, decides to skip the next day's practice session.
Afterwards, the team holds a press conference to announce that Iverson has been suspended for the rest of the series for "Continued Detrimental Conduct". Decked out in a doo-rag and a throwback jersey of teammate Maurice Cheeks, AI is asked by reporters whether the suspension is warranted for missing practice, to which he replies: "Practice? We talkin' 'bout practice?!? Not a game, not a game...we talkin' bout practice! Not a game..."
Just before Game 3 begins, David Robinson is handed the NBA Sportsmanship award by the Commisioner. He holds the trophy proudly over his head at centre court.
Hakeem is privately seething, believing he should've been the recipient of the award after his tireless work in helping other players such as Kobe, Dwight and LeBron improve their post moves.
As a result Olajuwon demands the ball early on in Game 3 and comes out showing his bag of low post tricks. He's got 18 first quarter points and the O-Gasms are well in front.
David Robinson is shook. A glazed look comes over his eyes and he starts having flashbacks..."Is this real life?" he thinks to himself, while Olajuwon destroys him and leads the O-Gasms to their first victory.
-----------------
Game 4 and it's deja vu all over again for Robinson. He's caught leaning the wrong way, jumping on shot fakes and generally just getting tangled up in Olajuwon's offensive web. His performance inspires the rest of the O-Gasms.
Conversely, the Uptons are deflated and their work rate drops. Drexler is not running the floor as hard, Durant is bothered by the length of Gervin, taken aback at the existence of someone as lanky and athletic as himself. They head into the half down by 15
The Upton's, momentum against them, focus their defensive efforts on Hakeem. This results in English and Gervin getting a lot of touches. Not comfortable shooting the outside shot, the pair cut and drive towards the basket at every opportunity, where they continually meet a brick wall named Dikembe Mutombo. The finger wag is out in full effect during the 2nd half.
With the offense drying up, the O-Gasms crowd is getting restless. Miller senses this and hits a couple of 3's to cut the lead to single digits late in the 4th. The crowd is really nervous now and start booing Reggie on every catch but he's loving it out there and laps up the atmosphere as the lead continues to be whittled away.
Up by 2, The O-Gasms have a chance to put the game out of reach in the final minute. They get the ball to Hakeem who is doubled but finds Robertson cutting to the basket. Oscar lofts a runner towards the hoop, but like an old man trying to return soup at a deli, an angry Mutombo swats the shot and registers his 7th block of the game.
Now in possession down by 2, the Uptons run a series of backscreens for Reggie, but Sam Jones is sticking to him like glue. As instructed by the O-Gasms coach, Magic is doubled in order get the ball out of his hands and he ends up dishing it to Durant. Magic calls for the ball back - there's still 10 seconds left in the game.
But Durant dribbles at the top of the key for a few seconds and decides to launch long bomb from a couple of feet behind the 3-point line. Once again surprised by the length and reach of Gervin, his contested 3 ends up short, hitting the front rim.
The severity of the miss catches everyone by surprise and the long rebound falls to Reggie at the elbow area. He scoops up the ball, instinctively pirouettes backwards to position himself behind the arc and launches an audacious 3...
"Reggie for 3...Yes! With 8 tenths of a second remaining!" cries Marv Albert from the announcer's table.
The crowd is stunned, holding onto their heads in disbelief. Reggie wanders to centre court and bows towards each side of the arena.
Out of the timeout and trailing by 1, Robertson is looking to inbound the ball. But the original play - a lob for Hakeem - has broken down so Robertson ends up passing to Barkley at the top of the key. Charles chucks up the straight-away 3...which banks off the glass and into the basket as the horn sounds.
The crowd goes nuts. Somehow the O-Gasms have escaped with the series tying win.
--------------
There's a lineup change for Game 5. A mentally scarred Robinson is benched for Wes Unseld, moving Moses to the C spot.
Barkley, previously wracked by nerves in directly facing his mentor Malone, now breaks out for a huge first half. Both he and Olajuwon are too quick for this reconfigured frontline and Sir Charles already has a double-double at the main break as the O-Gasms hold a slim lead.
The Uptons rev up their high octane offense to start the 3rd quarter. Magic is geeing up his teammates, trying to get everyone emotionally involved. He's doing pretty much everything in this series - averaging a near triple double - and now he's gotta inspire his teammates to lift their game as well.
His motivation works to an extent but the Uptons are trading baskets rather than pulling away from the opposition as the teams go back and forth in the 3rd quarter. English and Archibald are comfortable with the high tempo and the scores remain close.
As the 4th quarter begins, the O-Gasms rest most of their starters and go with a lineup of Tiny, Jones, English & Hayes, along with Barkley who has continued on from his strong 1st half. This group turns out to be surprisingly effective so the coach elects to keep them in. On the other hand the Uptons backcourt, relied upon for much of the series, is misfiring.
The unheralded O-Gasm players end up leading the team to victory and a shock 3-2 series lead.
After the game, those same reporters absent prior to the series, now surround the lockers of the O-Gasm bench players to discuss the win. Jones and Hayes exchange glances, bemused with the newfound attention. "We know most of the media attention has been on the big names but we know what we can do" says Archibald.
---------------
Returning to the O-Gasms home floor, the Showtime Uptons are controlling the tempo and carve out a narrow 1st half lead behind the determined Magic. On the other side, Alex English is almost single-handedly keeping the O-Gasms in the game. He's not bothered by the fast pace: "It's nothing compared to what Doug Moe put us through" he'd say after the game.
Sam Jones has stuck to Miller like glue throughout most of the series - the O-Gasms coach has co-ordinated his substitution patterns to matchup the indefatigable Jones with Miller. But now Miller finds his range and a shooting battle erupts in the 3rd quarter between the pair.
Reggie tries to trash talk Jones, but Jones doesn't say a word and continues to knock down bank shots while hardly taking a breath. Agitated by the unflappable Jones, Miller misses consecutive jumpshots. As Jones hits a buzzer-beater at the end of the 3rd quarter, Miller shakes his head in disbelief at being outduelled and mutters to himself "What does he have that I haven't got?". Jones finally breaks his silence, calmly turns to Miller and replies "10 rings."
As the 4th quarter begins and the game seemingly slipping away, Magic is looking for someone to step up and be the finisher at the end of his passes. He surveys the team bench, searching for that spark in someone's eye. He looks at Malone and Drexler - but their introverted nature have made then retreat mentally after struggling in the past 2 games. Magic catches the eye of Unseld and Mutombo but knows they can't provide the scoring needed. He sees Durant looking unusually disconsolate (later it would be revealed that Durant had spotted team namesake Kate Upton in the stands getting cozy with good friend James Harden). He looks for Robinson, but can't spot him on the bench - he's probably back in the locker room, curled up in a fetal position and having nightmares of Hakeem.
While Magic can't find the necessary support, the O-Gasms find a standout in John Havlicek who is not only frustrating the opposition wing players on defense, but also systematically breaking them down on offense.
Not even Magic can salvage the situation and the Uptons fizzle down the stretch, with Hondo's big last quarter driving the O-Gasms to a series clinching win.
As the teams exchange hugs after the final buzzer, Hakeem spots Drexler trudging off the court and gives him a little nudge "Yeah, Phi Jamma Slamma WAS fun" he says, "But we never did win that National Championship". He gives a smirk but Drexler is not amused.
2. The Up Kates Uptons - Peternorth
C - David Robinson
PF - Moses Malone
SF - Clyde Drexler
SG - Reggie Miller
PG - Magic Johnson
Allen Iverson
Dikembe Mutombo
Kevin Durant
Wes Unseld
Maurice Cheeks
vs
7. The O-Gasms - JPSauce
C - Hakeem Olajuwon
PF - Charles Barkley
SF - John Havlicek
SG - George Gervin
PG - Oscar Robertson
Elvin Hayes
Sam Jones
Bill Walton
Nate "Tiny" Archibald
Alex English
It's the day before Game 1.
Dozens of reporters have gathered inside the Uptons practice facility with the team having just finished a preparatory walkthrough. A circle of journalists - 3 rows deep - forms around Magic, interested in what this smiling assassin has to say. Others gather around Reggie Miller, never short of a soundbite. Owner peternorth is there too and he's questioned about his thoughts on the matchup. "I've got plenty of experience dealing with O-Gasms" he says.
A few ambitious journos try to get a word out of Mutombo but they can't understand a thing he says, so they move on to Moses and ask him how the team will fare in the Playoffs. Moses replies tersely: "Fo', fo', fo' ".
The scene at the O-Gasms facility couldn't be any different. Only a handful of reporters have showed up, ignoring the majority of the team and predictably gravitating towards Barkley & Walton. They're asked for their thoughts on Malone's prediction. Barkley says it's "Turrible!" while Walton calls it "The worst prediction in the history of mankind."
---------------
Game 1 begins and everything is clicking for the Uptons.
Miller is running Gervin ragged around screens. Malone is getting easy shots around the basket. Mutombo & Durant are eventually subbed in for these 2 but there is no respite for the O-Gasms.
Barkley and Hayes have trouble shooting over Mutombo and his blocked shots lead to fast breaks with Magic at the helm, flanked by Drexler on one wing and KD on the other. It results in a flurry of dunks for the Uptons. After Drexler glides in from the wing for one such dunk, he runs back downcourt and gives a playful nudge to old college teammate Hakeem. "This is fun...reminds me of our Phi Slamma Jamma days." He gives a smirk but Hakeem is not amused.
The game is fast getting out of hand for the O-Gasms but they remain out of sync. Their frontline is being overpowered, the offensive spacing is all messed up on the perimeter. Their transition defense is pitiful.
They don't recover and the game is over by 3-quarter time.
---------------
The Uptons expect more of a contest in Game 2 but the O-Gasms come out sluggish yet again.
Magic offers no sympathy and instead orchestrates an offense that is once again firing on all cylinders, as the patterns from Game 1 re-emerge. He pairs up with Drexler again and again on the fast break. He drives the lane and dumps the ball to the Admiral for easy buckets. He delivers pinpoint passes to Reggie after he emerges from traversing the baseline. Reggie's on fire.
The O-Gasms find themselves in another double-digit hole, with Magic playing the puppet master.
He finally heads towards the bench for a much needed rest midway through the 2nd quarter. Iverson begins to tear off his warmups in anticipation of a call-up but the coach calls for Cheeks instead. Iverson slumps back down in his seat.
With Magic resting, the strategy switches to 'feeding the beast', and Moses is overpowering a terrified Barkley in the post, forcing Hakeem to double. It's an easy read and react situation for the Uptons as they kick the ball out of the post, swing it and get it to Durant in the far corner...Swish. Durant gets another couple of open looks and pretty soon he's on fire as well.
In fact, the Uptons are shooting an amazing 60% from the field entering the 4th quarter with Miller and Durant a combined 15-20 from 3-point land. As the final period begins, Robinson decides to get in on the fun and drops in a trey of his own as the lead balloons out to 30 points. Magic, who isn't afraid to wave his towel, gets up off the bench and cheers, a big grin on his face. In fact it seems the entire Upton bench having a great time...everyone that is, except Iverson.
The coach calls AI to enter the game in garbage time but Iverson pretends not to hear and stays glued to his seat, a glum look on his face. Cheeks attempts to coax him into entering the game but still no movement.
The Uptons coast to an easy 2-0 series lead as Iverson stews on the bench.
----------------
Iverson, unhappy that Durant is the favoured scoring option off the bench and unable to even secure the backup PG spot, decides to skip the next day's practice session.
Afterwards, the team holds a press conference to announce that Iverson has been suspended for the rest of the series for "Continued Detrimental Conduct". Decked out in a doo-rag and a throwback jersey of teammate Maurice Cheeks, AI is asked by reporters whether the suspension is warranted for missing practice, to which he replies: "Practice? We talkin' 'bout practice?!? Not a game, not a game...we talkin' bout practice! Not a game..."
Just before Game 3 begins, David Robinson is handed the NBA Sportsmanship award by the Commisioner. He holds the trophy proudly over his head at centre court.
Hakeem is privately seething, believing he should've been the recipient of the award after his tireless work in helping other players such as Kobe, Dwight and LeBron improve their post moves.
As a result Olajuwon demands the ball early on in Game 3 and comes out showing his bag of low post tricks. He's got 18 first quarter points and the O-Gasms are well in front.
David Robinson is shook. A glazed look comes over his eyes and he starts having flashbacks..."Is this real life?" he thinks to himself, while Olajuwon destroys him and leads the O-Gasms to their first victory.
-----------------
Game 4 and it's deja vu all over again for Robinson. He's caught leaning the wrong way, jumping on shot fakes and generally just getting tangled up in Olajuwon's offensive web. His performance inspires the rest of the O-Gasms.
Conversely, the Uptons are deflated and their work rate drops. Drexler is not running the floor as hard, Durant is bothered by the length of Gervin, taken aback at the existence of someone as lanky and athletic as himself. They head into the half down by 15
The Upton's, momentum against them, focus their defensive efforts on Hakeem. This results in English and Gervin getting a lot of touches. Not comfortable shooting the outside shot, the pair cut and drive towards the basket at every opportunity, where they continually meet a brick wall named Dikembe Mutombo. The finger wag is out in full effect during the 2nd half.
With the offense drying up, the O-Gasms crowd is getting restless. Miller senses this and hits a couple of 3's to cut the lead to single digits late in the 4th. The crowd is really nervous now and start booing Reggie on every catch but he's loving it out there and laps up the atmosphere as the lead continues to be whittled away.
Up by 2, The O-Gasms have a chance to put the game out of reach in the final minute. They get the ball to Hakeem who is doubled but finds Robertson cutting to the basket. Oscar lofts a runner towards the hoop, but like an old man trying to return soup at a deli, an angry Mutombo swats the shot and registers his 7th block of the game.
Now in possession down by 2, the Uptons run a series of backscreens for Reggie, but Sam Jones is sticking to him like glue. As instructed by the O-Gasms coach, Magic is doubled in order get the ball out of his hands and he ends up dishing it to Durant. Magic calls for the ball back - there's still 10 seconds left in the game.
But Durant dribbles at the top of the key for a few seconds and decides to launch long bomb from a couple of feet behind the 3-point line. Once again surprised by the length and reach of Gervin, his contested 3 ends up short, hitting the front rim.
The severity of the miss catches everyone by surprise and the long rebound falls to Reggie at the elbow area. He scoops up the ball, instinctively pirouettes backwards to position himself behind the arc and launches an audacious 3...
"Reggie for 3...Yes! With 8 tenths of a second remaining!" cries Marv Albert from the announcer's table.
The crowd is stunned, holding onto their heads in disbelief. Reggie wanders to centre court and bows towards each side of the arena.
Out of the timeout and trailing by 1, Robertson is looking to inbound the ball. But the original play - a lob for Hakeem - has broken down so Robertson ends up passing to Barkley at the top of the key. Charles chucks up the straight-away 3...which banks off the glass and into the basket as the horn sounds.
The crowd goes nuts. Somehow the O-Gasms have escaped with the series tying win.
--------------
There's a lineup change for Game 5. A mentally scarred Robinson is benched for Wes Unseld, moving Moses to the C spot.
Barkley, previously wracked by nerves in directly facing his mentor Malone, now breaks out for a huge first half. Both he and Olajuwon are too quick for this reconfigured frontline and Sir Charles already has a double-double at the main break as the O-Gasms hold a slim lead.
The Uptons rev up their high octane offense to start the 3rd quarter. Magic is geeing up his teammates, trying to get everyone emotionally involved. He's doing pretty much everything in this series - averaging a near triple double - and now he's gotta inspire his teammates to lift their game as well.
His motivation works to an extent but the Uptons are trading baskets rather than pulling away from the opposition as the teams go back and forth in the 3rd quarter. English and Archibald are comfortable with the high tempo and the scores remain close.
As the 4th quarter begins, the O-Gasms rest most of their starters and go with a lineup of Tiny, Jones, English & Hayes, along with Barkley who has continued on from his strong 1st half. This group turns out to be surprisingly effective so the coach elects to keep them in. On the other hand the Uptons backcourt, relied upon for much of the series, is misfiring.
The unheralded O-Gasm players end up leading the team to victory and a shock 3-2 series lead.
After the game, those same reporters absent prior to the series, now surround the lockers of the O-Gasm bench players to discuss the win. Jones and Hayes exchange glances, bemused with the newfound attention. "We know most of the media attention has been on the big names but we know what we can do" says Archibald.
---------------
Returning to the O-Gasms home floor, the Showtime Uptons are controlling the tempo and carve out a narrow 1st half lead behind the determined Magic. On the other side, Alex English is almost single-handedly keeping the O-Gasms in the game. He's not bothered by the fast pace: "It's nothing compared to what Doug Moe put us through" he'd say after the game.
Sam Jones has stuck to Miller like glue throughout most of the series - the O-Gasms coach has co-ordinated his substitution patterns to matchup the indefatigable Jones with Miller. But now Miller finds his range and a shooting battle erupts in the 3rd quarter between the pair.
Reggie tries to trash talk Jones, but Jones doesn't say a word and continues to knock down bank shots while hardly taking a breath. Agitated by the unflappable Jones, Miller misses consecutive jumpshots. As Jones hits a buzzer-beater at the end of the 3rd quarter, Miller shakes his head in disbelief at being outduelled and mutters to himself "What does he have that I haven't got?". Jones finally breaks his silence, calmly turns to Miller and replies "10 rings."
As the 4th quarter begins and the game seemingly slipping away, Magic is looking for someone to step up and be the finisher at the end of his passes. He surveys the team bench, searching for that spark in someone's eye. He looks at Malone and Drexler - but their introverted nature have made then retreat mentally after struggling in the past 2 games. Magic catches the eye of Unseld and Mutombo but knows they can't provide the scoring needed. He sees Durant looking unusually disconsolate (later it would be revealed that Durant had spotted team namesake Kate Upton in the stands getting cozy with good friend James Harden). He looks for Robinson, but can't spot him on the bench - he's probably back in the locker room, curled up in a fetal position and having nightmares of Hakeem.
While Magic can't find the necessary support, the O-Gasms find a standout in John Havlicek who is not only frustrating the opposition wing players on defense, but also systematically breaking them down on offense.
Not even Magic can salvage the situation and the Uptons fizzle down the stretch, with Hondo's big last quarter driving the O-Gasms to a series clinching win.
As the teams exchange hugs after the final buzzer, Hakeem spots Drexler trudging off the court and gives him a little nudge "Yeah, Phi Jamma Slamma WAS fun" he says, "But we never did win that National Championship". He gives a smirk but Drexler is not amused.
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peternorth
Moderator
- May 6, 2005
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- #45
fk u hans
Messenger
No, I’m just disappointed
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I'd like to think I've got a nice mix of alpha dogs (Lebron*, Russell) with a group of guys that were great in their own right but were ensemble players in great teams and with all time greats (Worthy, Pippen, McHale). It's a half court beastie this team, but with enough athleticism to make transition play interesting. Webber adds a different look to forward play.
Suprised Mark Eaton has attracted such opprobrium. DPOY twice, blocking monster. And he's 7'4"**
* except final minute of critical game
** inb4sowasGhoergeMuresan
Suprised Mark Eaton has attracted such opprobrium. DPOY twice, blocking monster. And he's 7'4"**
* except final minute of critical game
** inb4sowasGhoergeMuresan
OrdinaryJoel
Brownlow Medallist
This thread is getting better by the series recaps by hans! I'm quite sold that the O-gasms are a force to be reckoned with!
- Apr 2, 2000
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- Liverpool, Chicago Bulls.
- Thread starter
- #49
Hahah love your work Hans. Surprised that the O'Gasms got up, particularly with little impact from Oscar. They could be trouble as Hakeem is a handful.
More now please
More now please
Very happy to get through the first round without Oscar doing a whole lot.
Magic will be the best PG he faces too, so I'm looking forward to the O-Gasms' next match up!
Magic will be the best PG he faces too, so I'm looking forward to the O-Gasms' next match up!
