Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Remove this Banner Ad

Status
Not open for further replies.
Was at a work christmas party, My first since starting. Anyway, we end up at the Deen after having dinner in Hilarys boat harbour. This girl, who happened to be the daughter of one of the managers, starts talking to me saying how hot she thinks I am. I really am not interested in her (she was about a 5 in my eyes). I tell her no but she continues to make reasons why we should hook up etc. I get frustrated and put my head in my hands, in which at this point, a security guard sees me and tells me I've had enough to drink and kicks me out (I wasn't even that drunk, I was just annoyed she wouldn't leave me alone). Anyway, everyone realises that I can't get in and we decide to leave. Some of us were going back to Morley which I live near but my two other mates throw me into another taxi going back to this girls house. The alcohol really started to hit me by now and they wouldn't let me out. We go back to this girls house and continue drinking in the spa. I end up passing out in the spa. My mates went inside to go to the toilet/drink only to come back out and find this girl with her top off, making out with me, riding me and giving me a handjob. They tell her to get off as they realised that I had actually passed out.

Had to work the next morning which was incredibly awkward/longest day of my life as I had to cross over with her mum who then asked what the problem was between us, which made things even worse!
 
youngsaint said:
So while i didn't get the huge success, i still got a bj and deprived this old 60yo teacher from getting his rocks off outside the door.
Click to expand...


I literally laughed my ass off at this part. This has to be thread of the year atm. Your stories have turned my previous conquests which have amounted to nada, into context with some astounding failures by the brethren on this thread.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

bok_party said:
Was at a work christmas party, My first since starting. Anyway, we end up at the Deen after having dinner in Hilarys boat harbour. This girl, who happened to be the daughter of one of the managers, starts talking to me saying how hot she thinks I am. I really am not interested in her (she was about a 5 in my eyes). I tell her no but she continues to make reasons why we should hook up etc. I get frustrated and put my head in my hands, in which at this point, a security guard sees me and tells me I've had enough to drink and kicks me out (I wasn't even that drunk, I was just annoyed she wouldn't leave me alone). Anyway, everyone realises that I can't get in and we decide to leave. Some of us were going back to Morley which I live near but my two other mates throw me into another taxi going back to this girls house. The alcohol really started to hit me by now and they wouldn't let me out. We go back to this girls house and continue drinking in the spa. I end up passing out in the spa. My mates went inside to go to the toilet/drink only to come back out and find this girl with her top off, making out with me, riding me and giving me a handjob. They tell her to get off as they realised that I had actually passed out.

Had to work the next morning which was incredibly awkward/longest day of my life as I had to cross over with her mum who then asked what the problem was between us, which made things even worse!
Click to expand...

Think this is known as rape brah
 
Dropped into a mates house on the way home from work tonight, and mentioned how this thread had be chuckling again through a slow day at work. He reminded me of a story of another one of our mates that has become folklore.

When he was about 20, this guy was seeing an 18 year old bird from the country (Mildura we think) who had moved down here with her twin sister. Both very hot, his girlfriend though was the hotter of the two, 91/100, but amazingly stupid, bitchy and annoying. Combine her looks with her personality, she become a 72/100. With both of them being young they were pretty new to sex, and while we knew she had more sexual experience than him, they were both pretty hopeless (even for a country chick). Missionary and white-bread stuff at best.

They were always blueing over that 6 month period, but she always come back to him trying to make things right.

They had a ripper row one Saturday morning, and he left to come and hang out with us. Now a couple of things to make things clear a bit later on. Text messaging was only just taking off on those Nokia brick phones, and her apartment she kept with her sister was always a pig sty.

Anyway, later in the afternoon we'd been watching the races at the pub and he was still a bit peeved, telling us that no matter how hot she was he had pretty much had enough, and after one more ripper bj off her he would give her the sack.

Early that evening she sent him a text message that said "I love making it up to you after we have a fight. If you come over to my house, you can **** me anywhere you want tonight". Our dopey mate thought she was referring to anywhere in the house, rather than anywhere in her.....so sent back this treasure, broken up into two text messages due to restrictions on characters used: "You think that's going to get me to come over, the state you keep that hole of yours in? It's a disgrace, and puts me off sex full stop". Followed by "clean that, your attitude and your temper up, and I'll think about seeing you again."

Four of us played golf the next day, and being mates didn't bring anything up. I asked him on about the 12th hole what had happened, and when he went through it all, I ****en lost it, and had to tell the other mates. Took him until the end of the round to believe us.

Two weeks of grovelling led to possibly a dinner and a movie, but never did he get to run one through the spunky moron again. If only he used different terminology to describe her apartment!
 
Harvey Leadpipe said:
Our dopey mate thought she was referring to anywhere in the house, rather than anywhere in her.....so sent back this treasure, broken up into two text messages due to restrictions on characters used: "You think that's going to get me to come over, the state you keep that hole of yours in? It's a disgrace, and puts me off sex full stop". Followed by "clean that, your attitude and your temper up, and I'll think about seeing you again."

Four of us played golf the next day, and being mates didn't bring anything up. I asked him on about the 12th hole what had happened
Click to expand...




Harvey Leadpipe, I believe you are considerably near the front with this ripper.
 
At a work function last year i was just chillin around, then this 7/10 from work started to lean on me, feel my shoulders, and asked so 'who should i hook up with tonight' totally out of the blue.

I screwed up and thought id get her to annoy my mate who was totally not interested.

**** i hate myself sometimes
 
Probst said:
At a work function last year i was just chillin around, then this 7/10 from work started to lean on me, feel my shoulders, and asked so 'who should i hook up with tonight' totally out of the blue.

I screwed up and thought id get her to annoy my mate who was totally not interested.

**** i hate myself sometimes
Click to expand...

Not enough Probst.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Harvey Leadpipe said:
Dropped into a mates house on the way home from work tonight, and mentioned how this thread had be chuckling again through a slow day at work. He reminded me of a story of another one of our mates that has become folklore.

When he was about 20, this guy was seeing an 18 year old bird from the country (Mildura we think) who had moved down here with her twin sister. Both very hot, his girlfriend though was the hotter of the two, 91/100, but amazingly stupid, bitchy and annoying. Combine her looks with her personality, she become a 72/100. With both of them being young they were pretty new to sex, and while we knew she had more sexual experience than him, they were both pretty hopeless (even for a country chick). Missionary and white-bread stuff at best.

They were always blueing over that 6 month period, but she always come back to him trying to make things right.

They had a ripper row one Saturday morning, and he left to come and hang out with us. Now a couple of things to make things clear a bit later on. Text messaging was only just taking off on those Nokia brick phones, and her apartment she kept with her sister was always a pig sty.

Anyway, later in the afternoon we'd been watching the races at the pub and he was still a bit peeved, telling us that no matter how hot she was he had pretty much had enough, and after one more ripper bj off her he would give her the sack.

Early that evening she sent him a text message that said "I love making it up to you after we have a fight. If you come over to my house, you can **** me anywhere you want tonight". Our dopey mate thought she was referring to anywhere in the house, rather than anywhere in her.....so sent back this treasure, broken up into two text messages due to restrictions on characters used: "You think that's going to get me to come over, the state you keep that hole of yours in? It's a disgrace, and puts me off sex full stop". Followed by "clean that, your attitude and your temper up, and I'll think about seeing you again."

Four of us played golf the next day, and being mates didn't bring anything up. I asked him on about the 12th hole what had happened, and when he went through it all, I ****en lost it, and had to tell the other mates. Took him until the end of the round to believe us.

Two weeks of grovelling led to possibly a dinner and a movie, but never did he get to run one through the spunky moron again. If only he used different terminology to describe her apartment!
Click to expand...

My god.

A thousand internets to you.
 
I've thought of another one from very early 20's.

A girl who i knew we were friends that flirted with a lot, she had great body and cute, we rampign up with heaps of texts etc., nothing to explciit, but defintiely lots of contact about how the day was going etc., would go to the beach together occasionally, she'd come round to my house, stuff like that. Our families were pretty conservative so never any chance of anythign happening when around at mine as family were always around and never really had the opportunity to hook up, and i was still clueless to whether she was keen (In hidnsight she was super keen from the start).

Anyway after all this she ended up having something of mine that, i had to go and pick up from her house, she was going to be home after work "by herself all afternoon" so should drop in anytime to pick it up. Now at this stage you would all be thinking sweet! he went round picked it up and got it on. Well given the nature of this thread you'd be wrong.

I was at a mate's house, so i asked my mate and his brother if they wanted to come for a ride and we'd go pick the item up....

The 3 of us rock up at the house, she opens the door wearing the shortest skirt i've seen, and a tight and tiny top, her smile drops when she see's my 2 mates in tow. End up having a drink and a bit of chat (15 minutes) wit us all there, the whole time i keep thinking wow, incredible legs and body.

On the way back to mate's all 3 of us realised i'd probably made a mistake taking them with me....

Never got the chance with her again.
 
Nothing too hilarious. Knew this girl from around the traps and somehow knew she was keen on me. Grinding on the dance floor and a lot of touching up.

What i should've done was hook up with her there and the rest would take care of itself...but i instead decide we get off the dance floor (at the time i thought what could go wrong). On our way off one of her friends turn up out of nowhere and wants to talk to her. I haven't gotten on great with this friend lately as i ****ed over one of her friends.

Anyway they come back and the girl I'm after starts to talk and get in what seems to be a huge argument with a flog she hooked up with a week or so ago. the friend says she swears they weren't talking about me (which the girl I'm after confirms) in texts later that night when we've gone home.

so there you go, stupid by me, should've bitten the bullet

although in the text she mentioned a 'rain check'.

:thumbsu: ?
 
Let me guess.

This friend of hers was an absolute whale?

Typical ugly friend swoops in to "protect" her friend, when in actual fact, she is just annoyed that she isn't getting any attention and needs to butt in to feel wanted.
 
Vincent Chase said:
Let me guess.

This friend of hers was an absolute whale?

Typical ugly friend swoops in to "protect" her friend, when in actual fact, she is just annoyed that she isn't getting any attention and needs to butt in to feel wanted.
Click to expand...

actually no quite good looking. but like i said she has it in for me completely as i really ****ed over her good friend, and so she's stopping me doing anything with anyone she knows now
 
Vincent Chase said:
She secretly wants the ****.

Should of attempted a threesome.

Unlucky brah.
Click to expand...
this may not be as silly as it sounds

it's like the 5 year old syndrome, she shafts you because she likes you
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Frederico_WA
Games & Recreation One ... word ... story ... #1
77 78 79 80 81
Replies
2K
Views
23K
Frederico_WA
Frederico_WA
Gameova_
Funny childhood/school stories
Replies
8
Views
513
Gameova_
Gameova_

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top