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Best comeback lines

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Was out with a group of friends, had a few drinks so the chat was a bit risque, one of the girls (friend of a friend) pipes up;

"I'm sorry, but penises are really ugly."

I said;

"Don't apologise to us, we don't put them in our mouths."


Possibly not as funny in hindsight, but slayed them at the time.
 
If I wanted my come back, I would've wiped it off of your mum's chin.
I use "i left my come back in your mothers mouth" but its a damn goodie, i havent heard a retort back which has stumped me after it
 
dunno if any of you guys know Team Mo' but he is the king of come backs just try and insult him :thumbsu:
 

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Yesterday:

Co-Worker: (lying down across a bench in the break area): Now I know how it feels to be your old man, lying on a park bench.. haha

Me: I'll come lie on top of you. Then you'll know how it feels to be your mum.

Wasn't the greatest comeback but it got a laugh.
 

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