Media Bob's Box Of Chocolates

[Tonga Bob]

We've got the Furies again who, the last time I did one of these for them, were described as a Bounty bar. Well this time I'll throw in the Coconut Rough.



Still got that flaky coconut interior and still covered with brown stuff, the sort of stuff only found in showbags but now smaller and a lot rougher looking. Heads that a mother would only just tolerate, and even then if they wore four eye patches (in case the first two didn't work). And the number of captains they're rocking. What do they say about too many chiefs spoiling the broth, or too many cooks and not enough Indians? Whatever, it's Flogapalooza this week so kick some shins.​

 

[Tonga Bob]

The first time we came up against the Swaprats I described them as a Milky Way chocolate bar, which is of a somewhat inconsequential size. Well since then they've edged ever closer to the proverbial abyss, losing their captain in the process and throwing a hail Mary to a former player and a journeyman to revive their fortunes. So I'm giving them a second chocolate bar to help describe their back end of the season, and that's the Time Out.



Like the increase in peril the club faces since last we met, the Time Out is bigger than a Milky Way, but at the same time not as popular. So much so that, as the name suggests, it may not be long for our shelves. It comes in two halves, still sweet, but has the propensity to get stale easier than its early season counterpart. So I hope you get to enjoy them while you can.​

 

[Tonga Bob]

Throughout the season many people (well three) have asked me which chocolate bar I would describe the Warriors as, and in my mind there was only one answer.



That's right, we're Cherry Ripe. So good it was named twice.

Dark yet sweet, fruity yet can get stuck in your teeth. Overlooked by some, adored by the rest. Truly it is the King of Chocolate Bars. And ripened, as we have done the hard yards sitting in the proverbial fruit bowl and as a team are ready for well-overdue success. Plus the Whore Tree has been known to tie our stems into knots.​

 

[Pugsley]

We had a week off from this place but just like the Godfather we've been pulled back in. This is our eighth KYO for the season, and we've moved onto the Baghdad Bombers. Baghdad is of course the capital of Iraq, which shares a border with Turkey or Türkiye or whatever they call themselves. So it will come as no surprise (unless you thought I was gonna go with the Cherry Ripe) that the chocolate bar I'm using to desribe the Bombers (oh ok cherry bomb I get it now) is the Turkish Delight. [FUN FACT: I was going to choose Coconut Rough in honour of my cousin CursingFijian but his mum didn't want me to do him dirty like that].

View attachment 2341621

Just like the Babylonians, the Turkish Delight (or lokum if you want to use the native vernacular) is another one of those chocolate bars that polarise the population, has a thin coating of brown stuff which is kind of hard but kind of not over the top of a soft gelatinous centre and tastes like rosewater & diabetes. They have staying power in that they're normally the last ones picked from a box of Favourites but they have some die hard fans out there. Apparently they have 60% less fat now, probably because Pugsley left.​

I thought I was more of a Fantale, Bobby. Wrapped with useless information and now extinct.

 

[DragoDelph]

We're up to the penultimate KYO segment for season 39. That means it's the second last one (pardon the Wazzasplaining). We've got the Dragons this week, which is appropriate given it's Easter this weekend and the sim has determined that we are their bunnies. And Easter bunnies give out chocolate, so that's what I'm gonna do in the guise of the chocolate bar that I have chosen to describe this week's opponents - the Peppermint Crisp.

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As you can probably tell by both the colour of the wrapper and the use of the word peppermint in the name, this chocolate bar is mostly green. Like the Dragons. It's also covered with brown stuff. Also like the Dragons. The inside is brittle. Again, like the Dragons. Not everyone likes mint flavoured stuff, although long time followers of my rambling will know that I'm a Masters spearmint milk fanboy but that's different. And at the risk of repeating myself, that's like the Dragons. Hell, even the Crisp part of the name is a throwback to when they used to roll out those irritatingly scaly gifs ad nauseam. You know the ones... stupid bloody Rebecca Black!

One thing that the Peppermint Crisp is good for however is for crumbling up into little pieces and sprinkling over a Pav. And given that the Dragons have more Freo fans per capita than any other team in the SFA (yes, even us!), they absolutely love a good Pav. But like the Great Man's commentary, even Pavs can turn against you.​

Was worth the wait.

 

[Gralin]

You seem to have skipped one Bob

 

[Tonga Bob]

You seem to have skipped one Bob

Do you mean our round 18 encounter? I'd ran out of chocolates by then, but from memory I substituted chocolate with Bofa.

 

[Gralin]

Do you mean our round 18 encounter? I'd ran out of chocolates by then, but from memory I substituted chocolate with Bofa.

View attachment 2341687

at least it wasn't with Ligma

 

[DemurePrincess]

Oh yay! Another thread… someone’s feeling needy

 

[Tonga Bob]

Oh yay! Another thread… someone’s feeling needy

No finals and no beer make Bobby something something.

 

[DemurePrincess]

No finals and no beer make Bobby something something.

Needy?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Needy?

 

[serial_thrilla]

 

[Gralin]

smart not to pan down to Tonga Bob erection

 

[serial_thrilla]

smart not to pan down to Tonga Bob erection

Tonga Bob is afflicted with melissophilia.

 

[serial_thrilla]

Tonga Bob is afflicted with melissophilia.

Unique word alert Elton Johns Wig Headless. The first time on BigFooty.

 

[Gralin]

Tonga Bob is afflicted with melissophilia.

 

[CursingFijian]

We had a week off from this place but just like the Godfather we've been pulled back in. This is our eighth KYO for the season, and we've moved onto the Baghdad Bombers. Baghdad is of course the capital of Iraq, which shares a border with Turkey or Türkiye or whatever they call themselves. So it will come as no surprise (unless you thought I was gonna go with the Cherry Ripe) that the chocolate bar I'm using to desribe the Bombers (oh ok cherry bomb I get it now) is the Turkish Delight. [FUN FACT: I was going to choose Coconut Rough in honour of my cousin CursingFijian but his mum didn't want me to do him dirty like that].

View attachment 2341621

Just like the Babylonians, the Turkish Delight (or lokum if you want to use the native vernacular) is another one of those chocolate bars that polarise the population, has a thin coating of brown stuff which is kind of hard but kind of not over the top of a soft gelatinous centre and tastes like rosewater & diabetes. They have staying power in that they're normally the last ones picked from a box of Favourites but they have some die hard fans out there. Apparently they have 60% less fat now, probably because Pugsley left.​

Coconut Rough was the name of our first <cough> home movie. Good times. Great mammaries.

 

[Tigerturbulance]

It's round three and we've found ourselves in a week with the Old Farts so it's time to look into the box of choccies and get to Know Our Opponents. And the chocolate bar I have to describe this lot is the Snickers bar.

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Like the Snickers, the OOFs contain peanuts. Some people are allergic to them to the point of death, while other enjoy their crunchy interior. When I was I kid I thought I was allergic to them, but it just turned out I didn't like how they tasted so like my time with the OOFs I enjoy the sweet parts of them and throw the nutty remainder at my brother without him noticing which would stick to him and the dog would gnaw at him until he cried. My brother that is, not the dog.

Snickers was spruiked by Mr T, whose catchphrase of "Get some nuts!" is as true for the qooty team as it is for the chocolate bar. He had another catchphrase about pitying fools, which describes his recruitment strategy [FUN FACT: you can't spell Snickers without 'nick'].​

you got this pretty right Tonga Bob as there are some big nuts at OOBs to snicker at

 

[DemurePrincess]

you got this pretty right Tonga Bob as there are some big nuts at OOBs to snicker at

View attachment 2341722

That’s called elephantitis champ…

 

[Tigerturbulance]

 

[Tonga Bob]

Why would I create a compendium of items from match threads during the season and not once the season finishes?

Also, I would have gone with this gif:

 

[Tonga Bob]

Tonga Bob is afflicted with melissophilia.

Nothing f*cks like a wasp though. Dinsdale will tell you this.

 

[Pugsley]

you got this pretty right Tonga Bob as there are some big nuts at OOBs to snicker at

View attachment 2341722

I don't......as you were.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I thought I was more of a Fantale, Bobby. Wrapped with useless information and now extinct.

Also like a Fantale, you’re an absolute menace in a dark cinema.