BROKEN HEART-Your Thoughts

[IKE TURNER]

just had a mate split up with his long term partner in not ideal circumstances,he is devastated and he is all over the place never seen him like this: what should I do to help him and have you ever had a broken heart?

 

[GROTTO]

 

[Billy ray]

Sorry to hear that. Ive just been thru that this past 8 months or so. There is a thread under the lifestyle board that a few of us posters have been active on.

Link. https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/perfect-long-term-relationships-that-go-sour.683410/

 

[GPW1]

My brother broke up with his long term partner this time last year. After a few depressing months he said **** it, and travelled the world for 4 months. Went to Everest base camp, motor biking through Bolivia and Peru, surfing in Mexico, shagged his way around Europe on a Contiki tour. He has been back for a few months now and has got on with things and is loving bachelor life.

The initial stage will be rough for your mate, best you do is just support him.

Oh and whatever you do, don't bad mouth his old missus. It could get awkward if they get back together.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Its really hard talking to someone with a broken heart.
One of my mates he thought he found the right girl they broken up it was her call.
He was shattered and blamed himself,we caught for coffees i was the there to give support,even tho it was hard to listen at times.
First few weeks are prob the hardest.

 

[Eagle got a win]

tell your mate: he broke up with a girl, big deal, man up and get over it.

then get him to read this article and compare he's life to how hard this 12 year old kid has it.
http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/29/boy-1...es-first-christmas-awake-for-4-years-6349925/

Just stop and look around for a second because things in life could be so so much worse.
I mean there are millions of people fighting cancer.
Millions of people out there that are homeless
People in poor countries with nowhere to go and nothing to eat.

 

[edgie]

What a silly and odd thing to say.

Sent from mTalk

 

[Perth gal]

Encourage him to talk as much as he wants. Be there for him, take him out. Encourage him to think positive and try new things.

 

[Eagle got a win]

What a silly and odd thing to say.

Sent from mTalk

What so silly and odd about it. Some people need to realise just how much worse life can be then thinking that it's the end of the world from a simple break up.

It isn't until you have have dealt with something on a much larger scale that you realise just how fragile life is and the little things you once stressed about and thought are big are in fact not at all.

Just saying it's not a big deal what he's mates going through. People break up all the time.
Things could be worse. Some people need to hear that.

 

[Gough]

Encourage him to talk as much as he wants. Be there for him, take him out. Encourage him to think positive and try new things.

All you can do.

 

[edgie]

What so silly and odd about it. Some people need to realise just how much worse life can be then thinking that it's the end of the world from a simple break up.

It isn't until you have have dealt with something on a much larger scale that you realise just how fragile life is and the little things you once stressed about and thought are big are in fact not at all.

Just saying it's not a big deal what he's mates going through. People break up all the time.
Things could be worse. Some people need to hear that.

You do know people have committed heinous and tragic acts that hurt themselves and others, as a result of a painful breakup?

Like, I agree in theory, but I won't go that far. Anyone going through this still needs a bit of help on offer. A 'toughen up princess' approach isn't helpful.

Sent from mTalk

 

[Catfish Alley]

Yeah, not much you can do. Just be there if he feels like venting I guess.

Only happened to me once. Wasn't that devastating I guess because I felt it was going to happen sooner or later. I was kind of lucky in a way because it was good timing. I was just about to finish Uni. Ended up graduating and then hopped a plane to London and did the pub thing. Didn't have enough money to see the rest of Europe so I went over to Canada about 5 months later. The rest is history.

Sometimes it's an opportunity. You can't do much in the early days though. He probably needs a bit of time.

 

[Perth gal]

You do know people have committed heinous and tragic acts that hurt themselves and others, as a result of a painful breakup?

Like, I agree in theory, but I won't go that far. Anyone going through this still needs a bit of help on offer. A 'toughen up princess' approach isn't helpful.

Sent from mTalk

Agree with this. Initially when the pain is agonising you don't give a crap that there are people that are worse off. It's only after some time passes you gain some perspective.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Being broken hearted is a normal human emotion. Sometimes this 'put things in perspective' stuff goes too far. Just because some people have it worse doesn't mean that he doesn't feel shit right now.

 

[Run n Spread]

Can't really do much except just be his regular mate, don't judge him too harshly and allow him to vent within reason. (not to the point where it gets you down).

Harsh but it is his life and he has to ultimately deal with it himself. Just be nice for want of a better word to him. Not really much you can do except keep it real. Do whatever you regularly do hang out or whatever and provide a level of continuity.

 

[Dan Moody]

What so silly and odd about it. Some people need to realise just how much worse life can be then thinking that it's the end of the world from a simple break up.

It isn't until you have have dealt with something on a much larger scale that you realise just how fragile life is and the little things you once stressed about and thought are big are in fact not at all.

Just saying it's not a big deal what he's mates going through. People break up all the time.
Things could be worse. Some people need to hear that.

Easy for you to say, obviously never had a girlfriend

 

[MaddAdam]

Get on the piss a lot. Allude to it but never actually talk about your desperately damaged emotions with your friends who will be genuinely awesome in these situations. Find yourself crying when some stupid indie pop song she loved but you affected to "hate" comes on.

That's the best way to deal with it.

 

[WCErevival]

Introduce him to someone else

 

[Barney_stinson]

You do know people have committed heinous and tragic acts that hurt themselves and others, as a result of a painful breakup?

Like, I agree in theory, but I won't go that far. Anyone going through this still needs a bit of help on offer. A 'toughen up princess' approach isn't helpful.

Sent from mTalk

But they must have had chemical make up that would have caused that anyway. The break up wasn't the reason for that "heinous and tragic act", it was just the trigger for them to basically give up and say "I don't give a shit anymore"

Its the same as the person who flips out at work or via road rage. The act didn't cause them to go bananas, it wa just the trigger to tip them over the edge.

 

[NSWCROW]

just had a mate split up with his long term partner in not ideal circumstances,he is devastated and he is all over the place never seen him like this: what should I do to help him and have you ever had a broken heart?

Lend him your pr0n.


Dat dopamine doe !!!!!!!!!

 

[oogac]

Take him down to the parlours.

 

[Barney_stinson]

Yeah, not much you can do. Just be there if he feels like venting I guess.

Well, there are things you can do.

Get him to start looking at his life as an individual. He has lived life very successfully without a partner in the past and he can do it again in the future.

What you need to do now is identify positive aspects he had achieved in the present and then decompartmentalize his and her life and them talk to him how awesome he can be alone. Then identify the positive areas in his own life without her in it. Show him the areas he had developed without her being a factor. Show and describe him how important he is as an individual and he can and will survive as an "I" instead of a "we"

Many people only think they can survive once they have been in a relationships as a "we" instead of being able to be an "I" and get used to relying on each other but they have survived alone.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Get him onto tinder or similar.

Seriously, the quickest way to recover from lost love is in the arms of another. Wait til the the morning after he gets laid, he'll be skipping around like a man reborn.

 

[Private Hudson]

tell your mate: he broke up with a girl, big deal, man up and get over it.

then get him to read this article and compare he's life to how hard this 12 year old kid has it.
http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/29/boy-1...es-first-christmas-awake-for-4-years-6349925/

Just stop and look around for a second because things in life could be so so much worse.
I mean there are millions of people fighting cancer.
Millions of people out there that are homeless
People in poor countries with nowhere to go and nothing to eat.

You can say that about anything though. Basically you can never be down or sad because someone somewhere has it worse.

 

[Shupe]

Oh and whatever you do, don't bad mouth his old missus. It could get awkward if they get back together.

I did this. My mate had a horrible girlfriend, very high maintenance, princess type of girl. Very judgemental of people who don't have nice things. He broke it off with her and I told him that she's a campaigner. Several times.

He's just started seeing her again.