Society & Culture Daily Quotes

[r dub 19]

This thread is dedicated to all the random coverstaions you have/ hear throughout the day.

Got into a group at uni today and had some small talk with a group member when she said :

"Your only young let me give you some advice, don't get a girlfriend just **** it up"

 

[JD-Roo]

Walking past the taxi rank at the top end of Collins St in Melbourne and two taxi drivers seemed to be in a very animated conversation.

Overheard this classic in a VERY thick accent as I walked past:

"I'm not racist, but them f*****g Lebanese - they'll all the f*****g same!!"

He looked at me when I burst out laughing. I couldn't figure out how to explain everything that was wrong with what he said.

 

[GPW1]

i rang my dear old nan the other to make she was alright after the storms in melbourne in saturday.

"i reckon these storms must have something to do with that tsunami the other day"

i dont think so nan.

 

[HSSB]

My mate was talking about this tool he knows:
'If I ran him over, he'd look better'

 

[Rowie09]

My mate, upon looking at a clock that clearly read 2pm goes:

"Christ, its 2 oclock. I cant beleive it was 1 oclock an hour ago"

 

[Wahooti Fandango]

i rang my dear old nan the other to make she was alright after the storms in melbourne in saturday.

"i reckon these storms must have something to do with that tsunami the other day"

i dont think so nan.

Sounds like something my nan would say.

 

[Wish Wellingtons]

My mate and I were have a chat about sexual exploits at our respective universities.

I made a comment that my french class was brilliant as I was one of two men in the Lecture/Seminar.

He asked if I had had any success.

"Nah, mate. I'm working on it, just sewing the seeds"

His response was priceless:

"You need to plough the paddock before you can sew the seeds"

 

[r dub 19]

Same girl in my group today says:

"I got touched by a married lesbian at a party on the weekend"

 

[Optimax]

Sitting in my lecture, one of the others comes out with this pearler

Student "but then it will be an incredibly huge number"
Lecturer "yes infinite"
student "yeah infinite is huge enough to describe it"

What is a bigger number then infinity?

 

[MF]

One of our female colleagues at work recently left to pursue other opportunities, and in the mean time 2 male co-workers were asked to step up and share her old workload. One of these co-workers is a complete social nuff nuff and often says the most irrelevant baffling things, usually resulting in long, awkward silences.

In a team meeting a week ago our manager thanked the female employee for her contribution and said that her absence would leave a rather large hole in the business. All of a sudden the social nuff nuff chimes in with "She should be flattered that it's going to take 2 of us to fill her hole".

Myself and several others, including our manager completely lost our shit, while he looked on completely oblivious to what he'd just said.

 

[King Elvis]

Same girl in my group today says:

"I got touched by a married lesbian at a party on the weekend"

Is she ugly?

 

[r dub 19]

she goes alright, hell intense person though.