Copulator
Club Legend
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2008
- Posts
- 1,043
- Reaction score
- 122
- Location
- Spiceworld
- AFL Club
- GWS
- Other Teams
- Ssillythorpe United
Dear 'the man',
I have been using your train service now for approximately 9 weeks as I recently accepted a new position in the CBD. I commute from the outer suburbs daily, always during peak hour in the morning and mainly peak hour on the way home.
I write to you today to congratulate you. You have by far exceeded my expectations and stooped to new depths unthinkable from the previous public transport regime Connex.
Now if I may, I'd like to quickly explain my situation.
Living in suburban Melbourne approximately 20kms from my place of work, I wake up at 7:30 each morning to prepare for my day ahead by defecating, showering, brushing my teeth and whatever other business I need to attend to. I leave my residence at 8am to catch my "8:13" train. The reason I use quotation marks because I can count on one hand the amount of times my train has actually arrived at the station before 8:18.
I would like to espcially congratulate you for the customer service skills your staff represented two Thursday's ago. I am unsure if you are even aware of how professionally and efficiently you dealt with your paying customers so I am happy to give you a run down of events.
I arrived at the platform which is actually an unmanned yet high volume of passenger station, to be greeted by a voice over the speaker announcing that due to signal faults the train will be delayed for approximately 15-20 minutes.
Approximately 15-20 minutes later my ears picked up the a similar sound of bullshit "due to signal faults the train may be delayed for up to 15-20 minutes".
Although I had a very good feeling about the events to come, I thought I would wait around and watch events unfold.
Sure enough 10 minutes later we were informed that services would be suspended indefintely and to please wait patiently. The time was approximately 8:50am.
At roughly 9 o'clock on the dot the growing crowd is issued with a new and exciting load of excretement "please make your way to the nearest bus stop as buses will be sent to pick you up", my ears how ever did not pick up an apology... not that it would have really meant much by this point.
So as approximately the 200 strong crowd of commuters make their way to the tiny bus stop outside the station and stand around like a group of geniuses for 5 minutes, a new announcement comes over the speaker that trains will be resuming and buses will not be coming to pick us up... okay.
So we all return to our posts at the station only to be greeted by a new message 5 minutes later at approximately 9:10 "please be advised, train now departing Werribee, thank you for your patience today".
Would you like to have a guess what happened next?
This is where it gets good and I can really appreciate the excellent customer service training you guys provide your staff......... well 15 minutes later a train passes... packed with people and doesn't even stop at our station!! Same thing again not 20 minutes later happens?
I hate to think what time normal service resumed but I gave up at about 9:45 and was actually informed that the problem occured over 45 minutes before I even arrived just after 8. Not only was I standing out in the sun because the little cover provided at the station was too full to stand in so I was nice and burnt, but I had to take unpaid leave because of your inept, unsatisfactory, limp wristed, un-accountable, piece of ****ing shit system. On Friday I learnt it was a "signal failure".
Which brings me to my next point.
Why is it twice a week without fail in evening peak hour in the city loop are trains delayed 15 minutes due to "signal failures between Flinders St and Southern Cross stations"?
If someone has ****ed up just tell us. If someone has thrown them infront of a train then tell us? If you guys are seriously having so many signal **** ups then your system is worse then I thought because surely you guys would be on top of it by now?
It is far too expensive on my wage to pay an extra $80 for petrol and $50 for parking a week so driving isn't an option. Catching a bus would take even longer because I need to catch 3 connecting buses to arrive even close to my work place. So yes, I do rely on your service and for the amount of money I along with other commuters pump into your flawed piece of shit system I expect better. I expect trains to run at a similiar time to what is scheduled. I expect enough services to be provided so I don't need to be pressed up against some dude who smells like he bathes in curry powder and another dude who looks like he broke out of an asylum after receiving a lobotomy this morning.
Also I don't understand having 85 ****ing staff members at north melbourne and 0 staff members and no machines that accept notes at my station? I think the only positive thing you guys have done that I have even noticed is that the one young blonde girl that works at north melbourne is the only metro staff member who doesn't appear to have been conceived rectally. Please also rectify this. Either fire her or hire more staff members that are visually appealing because I believe you guys should at least try to make yourselves look slightly appealing to commuters in some form because your service certainly does not.
You buttholes will actually end up costing me much more in the not too distant future because I can not continue having 12 hour work days for which I only get paid 8 and I feel as though I have no other choice but to relocate closer to the city from the outer suburbs, somewhere no more then 30 minutes walking distance from my workplace as I will flat out continue to use public transport in any form if this continues. I am sure you will be able to live with that on your conscience how ever, which is fair enough because I am nobody.
Now I don't normally condone violence or juvenile behaviour amongst grown adults like myself, but I feel that we should be compensated for your general lack of talent as "integral service to Melbourne's infrastructure". The reason I say this is because the only time I ever get violent urges is when you guys steal my time and my money. Hell I can even deal with the general public at work and the majority of them are absolute **** wits. You people how ever are paid government employees and should have some sort of idea how to provide a reliable service or at least keep customers informed by at least communicating and taking responsibility for your actions when you **** us up the ass without the priveledge of lubricant, scented or not.
I would also like to register my disgust by complaining about the lack of services you "people" (and I used that term loosely) provide. I don't even catch the Sydnenham line but I can tell you that they clearly don't have enough services as far as I can tell every time I see one of their train's pass. You could honestly not even fit a cat on their line most days. Although some days it is generally good viewing to see some young supple woman's breasts pressed against the window pane, it also brings me sadness to know this same girl and I will not be getting nakes and eating whipped cream off of each other's genitalia. This is partly your fault Metro.
My line is shit and over crowded to. Send more services or please abort yourselves.
Also could you explain why colleagues I work with that commute from Geelong arrive at work sooner then I do? I was almost certain 20k's is a little closer then 50.. I could be wrong though?
In summary you guys are shit. Worse in fact then Connex. I am unsure how long you guys have been going around for now but the service you provide is clearly unacceptable even by 3rd world standards at time. If I was a Connex employee I would love life because I know I could just stand around all day doing sweet **** all and offering false sympathies to those who my shit company has ****ed over.
**** you, **** you in your ass. **** your mothers and your mother's mother. Please get ****ed and **** off you sub human shit bags.
P.S can I have that blonde's number?
I have been using your train service now for approximately 9 weeks as I recently accepted a new position in the CBD. I commute from the outer suburbs daily, always during peak hour in the morning and mainly peak hour on the way home.
I write to you today to congratulate you. You have by far exceeded my expectations and stooped to new depths unthinkable from the previous public transport regime Connex.
Now if I may, I'd like to quickly explain my situation.
Living in suburban Melbourne approximately 20kms from my place of work, I wake up at 7:30 each morning to prepare for my day ahead by defecating, showering, brushing my teeth and whatever other business I need to attend to. I leave my residence at 8am to catch my "8:13" train. The reason I use quotation marks because I can count on one hand the amount of times my train has actually arrived at the station before 8:18.
I would like to espcially congratulate you for the customer service skills your staff represented two Thursday's ago. I am unsure if you are even aware of how professionally and efficiently you dealt with your paying customers so I am happy to give you a run down of events.
I arrived at the platform which is actually an unmanned yet high volume of passenger station, to be greeted by a voice over the speaker announcing that due to signal faults the train will be delayed for approximately 15-20 minutes.
Approximately 15-20 minutes later my ears picked up the a similar sound of bullshit "due to signal faults the train may be delayed for up to 15-20 minutes".
Although I had a very good feeling about the events to come, I thought I would wait around and watch events unfold.
Sure enough 10 minutes later we were informed that services would be suspended indefintely and to please wait patiently. The time was approximately 8:50am.
At roughly 9 o'clock on the dot the growing crowd is issued with a new and exciting load of excretement "please make your way to the nearest bus stop as buses will be sent to pick you up", my ears how ever did not pick up an apology... not that it would have really meant much by this point.
So as approximately the 200 strong crowd of commuters make their way to the tiny bus stop outside the station and stand around like a group of geniuses for 5 minutes, a new announcement comes over the speaker that trains will be resuming and buses will not be coming to pick us up... okay.
So we all return to our posts at the station only to be greeted by a new message 5 minutes later at approximately 9:10 "please be advised, train now departing Werribee, thank you for your patience today".
Would you like to have a guess what happened next?
This is where it gets good and I can really appreciate the excellent customer service training you guys provide your staff......... well 15 minutes later a train passes... packed with people and doesn't even stop at our station!! Same thing again not 20 minutes later happens?
I hate to think what time normal service resumed but I gave up at about 9:45 and was actually informed that the problem occured over 45 minutes before I even arrived just after 8. Not only was I standing out in the sun because the little cover provided at the station was too full to stand in so I was nice and burnt, but I had to take unpaid leave because of your inept, unsatisfactory, limp wristed, un-accountable, piece of ****ing shit system. On Friday I learnt it was a "signal failure".
Which brings me to my next point.
Why is it twice a week without fail in evening peak hour in the city loop are trains delayed 15 minutes due to "signal failures between Flinders St and Southern Cross stations"?
If someone has ****ed up just tell us. If someone has thrown them infront of a train then tell us? If you guys are seriously having so many signal **** ups then your system is worse then I thought because surely you guys would be on top of it by now?
It is far too expensive on my wage to pay an extra $80 for petrol and $50 for parking a week so driving isn't an option. Catching a bus would take even longer because I need to catch 3 connecting buses to arrive even close to my work place. So yes, I do rely on your service and for the amount of money I along with other commuters pump into your flawed piece of shit system I expect better. I expect trains to run at a similiar time to what is scheduled. I expect enough services to be provided so I don't need to be pressed up against some dude who smells like he bathes in curry powder and another dude who looks like he broke out of an asylum after receiving a lobotomy this morning.
Also I don't understand having 85 ****ing staff members at north melbourne and 0 staff members and no machines that accept notes at my station? I think the only positive thing you guys have done that I have even noticed is that the one young blonde girl that works at north melbourne is the only metro staff member who doesn't appear to have been conceived rectally. Please also rectify this. Either fire her or hire more staff members that are visually appealing because I believe you guys should at least try to make yourselves look slightly appealing to commuters in some form because your service certainly does not.
You buttholes will actually end up costing me much more in the not too distant future because I can not continue having 12 hour work days for which I only get paid 8 and I feel as though I have no other choice but to relocate closer to the city from the outer suburbs, somewhere no more then 30 minutes walking distance from my workplace as I will flat out continue to use public transport in any form if this continues. I am sure you will be able to live with that on your conscience how ever, which is fair enough because I am nobody.
Now I don't normally condone violence or juvenile behaviour amongst grown adults like myself, but I feel that we should be compensated for your general lack of talent as "integral service to Melbourne's infrastructure". The reason I say this is because the only time I ever get violent urges is when you guys steal my time and my money. Hell I can even deal with the general public at work and the majority of them are absolute **** wits. You people how ever are paid government employees and should have some sort of idea how to provide a reliable service or at least keep customers informed by at least communicating and taking responsibility for your actions when you **** us up the ass without the priveledge of lubricant, scented or not.
I would also like to register my disgust by complaining about the lack of services you "people" (and I used that term loosely) provide. I don't even catch the Sydnenham line but I can tell you that they clearly don't have enough services as far as I can tell every time I see one of their train's pass. You could honestly not even fit a cat on their line most days. Although some days it is generally good viewing to see some young supple woman's breasts pressed against the window pane, it also brings me sadness to know this same girl and I will not be getting nakes and eating whipped cream off of each other's genitalia. This is partly your fault Metro.
My line is shit and over crowded to. Send more services or please abort yourselves.
Also could you explain why colleagues I work with that commute from Geelong arrive at work sooner then I do? I was almost certain 20k's is a little closer then 50.. I could be wrong though?
In summary you guys are shit. Worse in fact then Connex. I am unsure how long you guys have been going around for now but the service you provide is clearly unacceptable even by 3rd world standards at time. If I was a Connex employee I would love life because I know I could just stand around all day doing sweet **** all and offering false sympathies to those who my shit company has ****ed over.
**** you, **** you in your ass. **** your mothers and your mother's mother. Please get ****ed and **** off you sub human shit bags.
P.S can I have that blonde's number?
