Eagles Players drinking game

[Mead]

Ever in search of more ways to enjoy Eagles games (and get ****ed), I decided to throw together a WCE drinking game, for those who need assistance to get ****ed while watching the football. The basic idea, is each participant selects one player as 'their' player for the game. They are then required to take a certain number of drinks for things that player does, with the number of drinks reflecting the likelihood of what happened. I'm still a little hazy on the drink quantities- the lists I've done below seem about okay for shots, and depending on how your players go, you may or may not make three quarter time. Winner is the person capable of reading the full time score.

It can be played on any future game, or taped classics (warning, use of some player/game combinations could cause you to become comatose, eg Chris Judd v Brisbane)

So far, I've only found the time to do up lists for Judd, Embley and Fido, with a few others in the works for now- feel free to submit suggestions for other players. I'm particularly looking forward to lists for Jako, Samps and Wirra.


Chris Judd
1 Drink
Whenever each of the following occurs, take one drink
- Gathers 15 disposals
- Takes a bounce.
- Appears to outrun an opposition player
- Kicks a goal whilst on the run uncontested.
- Attempts to tackle opposition player but fails to complete.
- Shrugs a tackle
- Cracks a smile

2 Drinks
- Gathers 25 disposals
-Commentators use any of the following adjectives to describe him: 'mercurial, exciting, talented, blazing speed'
- Kicks a goal whilst on the run, after evading opposition player (1 bonus drink for each additional player evaded)
- Argues with umpire about a decision
-Successfully lays a tackle.
-Is given a new opponent, because he ripped the old one a new arseh*le. (once for each opponent)
-Celebrates goals with two upraised fingers.

3 Drinks
- Kicks a goal whilst on the run, after taking on and beating opposition player.
- Gathers 30 Disposals
- Reaches fourth goal
- Involved in Melee
-Appears visibly elated or angry.
-Commentators discuss his future, or make references to him being homesick

4 Drinks
-Reaches 35 Disposals
-Is Reported
-Reaches Sixth Goal.
-Appears to taunt or sledge opposition player

-Appears Seriously Injured (Drink Self Insensible)
-Announces he plans to return to Melbourne (Drink Self Insensible)
-Announces he has signed with West Coast (Drink Self Insensible)


Phil Matera
1 Drink
- Reaches 10 disposals
- Reaches 2 goals.
- Kicks behind.
- Claps hands slowly and rhythmically during post goal celebrations
- Ignores open teammate, and kicks on goal himself.
- Appears to taunt or sledge an opposition player.
-Argues with umpire about a decision

2 Drinks
- Reaches 15 disposals
- Gives away 50m penalty
- Reaches 4 Goals
- Is lifted off the ground by team mates in the course of post-goal celebrations
- Is involved in melee with player at least 10cm taller than self.
- Visibly remonstrates with team mate for not kicking to him.
-Is Reported

3 Drinks
- Finishes a game with more handballs than kicks.
- Comes into contact with an umpire
- Is given new opponent because he tore the old one a new arseh*le
- Is involved in melee with player at least 20cm taller than self.
-Reaches Six Goals

4 Drinks
-Finishes game with 1:1 Goal to Disposal ratio.
-Is involved in melee with player shorter than self.
-Hands off ball to teammate in the goal square.

-Wins Coleman (Drink Self Insensible)
-Brother announces comeback (Drink Self Insensible)


Andrew Embley
1 Drink
- Reaches 15 disposals
- Hip and shoulders opposition player.
- Takes a contested mark.
- Kicks a goal.
- Misses set shot.
- Does a one percenter- (tackle, smother)
- Is involved in melee
- Appears to taunt or sledge an opposition player.

2 Drinks
- Reaches 20 disposals
- Argues with umpire about a decision
- Kicks a 'crunch time' goal in the last quarter.
- Lifts team mate off the ground in course of post-goal celebrations
- Is reported.
-Commentator makes any remark about his dramatically improved form this year.

3 Drinks
- Reaches 25 Disposals
- Reaches fourth goal
- Instigates Melee
-Appears visibly elated or angry.
-Misses a goal from less than 20m away.
-Hip and shoulders opposition player in a manner sufficient to force them to leave the field

4 Drinks
-Reaches 30 Disposals
-Reaches Sixth Goal.
-Appears intimidated, or backs away from a confrontation with opposition players

-Returns to 2002 form (Drink Self Insensible)

 

[jod23]

lol....class stuff Mead. I shall now attempt a couple of Eagles.

Daniel Kerr
1 Drink
- Gathers 15 disposals.
- Kicks a goal.
- Lays a tackle.
- Is last to get up from the bottom of a pack.
- Does a 1%er.
- Handballs roughly 10 metres.

2 Drinks
- Gathers 25 disposals.
- Reaches 3 goals.
- Records a loose ball gather.
- Shrugs a tackle.
- Gains a new opponent because he has ripped his previous one a new arseh*le.
- Handballs roughly 20 metres.
- Finishes game with more kicks than handballs.

3 Drinks
- Gathers 30 disposals.
- Reaches 4 goals.
- Recieves a handpass while hanging off a pack.
- An opposition player actually shrugs one of his tackles.
- Handballs roughly 30 metres.
- Appears to be hostile with his captain.

4 Drinks
- Gathers 35+ disposals.
- Handballs over 40 metres.
- Commentators get his name wrong.

- Actually witness Cousins on bottom of pack feed out handball to Kerr skirting the pack (Drink self insensible)
- Appears seriously injured (Drink self insensible)


Ben Cousins
1 Drink
- Gathers 20 Disposals.
- Kicks a goal.
- Gathers a loose ball.
- Recieves a handpass.
- Records a center clearance.
- Records an Inside50.
- Runs around the back of a teammate who has marked the ball in the hope of recieving the ball.

2 Drinks
- Gathers 30 Disposals.
- At a stoppage, opponent doesnt watch the ball, only Cousins.
- Reaches 3 goals.
- Lays a tackle.
- Gets a Hard Ball Get.
- Gains a new opponent because he has ripped his previous one a new arseh*le.
- Evades opponent by faking the handpass.

3 Drinks
- Gathers 35 Disposals.
- Reaches 4 goals.
- Is last to get up from a pack.
- Kicks a team lifting captains goal.
- Ends the game with more handpasses than kicks.
- Wins the toss of the coin at start of game.

4 Drinks
- Cracks 40 Disposals.
- Actually stops running.
- Is Reported.

- Appears seriously injured (Drink self insensible)
- Appears to lose his inhuman understanding with Gardy at stoppages (Drink self insensible)
- Punches more teammates in the face (Drink self insensible)

 

[carlyp]

I like it,

 

[Lidge]

How many drinks will you consume to drown your collective sorrows if Judd was to be traded???

Good idea the footy drinking games....nothing like encouraging the youngsters to get into the binge drinking. .:

Bit complicated - the old fashioned choose a player, skoll a drink per kick and an extra one per goal kicked by your player has always done the trick.

 

[noodle]

Adam Hunter

1 drink
- 15 possessions
- mark
- roughs up an opponent
- roughs up somebody else's opponent
- taken off for the blood rule
- hip and shoulder
- badly hides that his only intent in a 50/50 was to spoil the opposition but still gets away with it

2 drink
- goal
- contested mark
- involved in a melee
- busts a move
- roughs up a team mate
- gets caught holding the ball

3 drinks
- a goal followed by an over the top celebration and a$$ patting
- involved in a melee with direct opponent that he didn't start
- taunts crowd
-gives a 50 metre penalty

4 drinks
- opponent is taken off the ground
- cries
- roughs up john worsfold

 

[carlyp]

Glen Jakovich for this is gunna be funny as!

 

[Captain Random]

Not players, but you get the idea:

John Worsfold

1 drink
- Eyeballs opposition playing staff
- Eyeballs opposition fan
- Eyeballs umpire

2 drinks
- Gets into physical altercation with opposition playing staff
- Gets into physical altercation with opposition fan
- Does that menacing grin he did when Sampi goaled against NM
- Cracks funny at after-match press conference
- Drags player for going the torp

4 drinks
- Drags Milli, Banners or Jako
- Drops Carroll
- Puts on that freaky smile like in Chen's other thread

Drink every bottle under kitchen sink
- Cries
- Whinges
- Delists Milli, Banners or Jako

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by carneagles
Not players, but you get the idea:

John Worsfold

1 drink
- Eyeballs opposition playing staff
- Eyeballs opposition fan
- Eyeballs umpire

2 drinks
- Gets into physical altercation with opposition playing staff
- Gets into physical altercation with opposition fan
- Does that menacing grin he did when Sampi goaled against NM
- Cracks funny at after-match press conference
- Drags player for going the torp

4 drinks
- Drags Milli, Banners or Jako
- Drops Carroll
- Puts on that freaky smile like in Chen's other thread

Drink every bottle under kitchen sink
- Cries
- Whinges
- Delists Milli, Banners or Jako

I like it!!!!

 

[noodle]

geez carn, you wouldn't get to drink at all during the game and then have to spend quarter and 3 quarter time skulling beers.

 

[noodle]

Originally posted by carlyp
I like it!!!!

you should just put this in your sig carly.

 

[Captain Random]

Originally posted by noodle
geez carn, you wouldn't get to drink at all during the game and then have to spend quarter and 3 quarter time skulling beers.

I'm going for an approximation of being at the game live.

Did I mention that you have to eat a cold pie and stand outside your dunny for 10 mins before using it. And you also have to get someone to dress up as the Eagles mascot and then tackle them within 10 secs.

 

[wattie]

I'm not sure I like the idea of the lists, that's too much thinking.

Why not just have a shot every time your player gets a touch.
Or if you're tougher than that, every time your player is in the camera shot.

 

[Portia]

If you're playing Phil Matera, I've calculated that you will have ~13 drinks this weekend.

 

[Mead]

Glen Jakovich

1 drink
-Gathers 10 disposals
-Takes a mark
-Shirtfronts opposition player
- Has a shot from 50m+
-Involved in a bit of push and shove with an opposition player.
-Celebrates goal by punching air and yelling incomprehensible things in a slavic language.
-Gives away a 50m penalty



2 drinks
-Gathers 15 disposals
-puts knee in after shirtfronting opposition player
- injures self
-injures opposition players
-commentators make mention of his lack of pace
-commentators refer to him as any of 'the old warhorse' 'the veteran', or 'big jako' (once per reference)
-Has a shot from 55m+
-Celebrates goal by punching teammates and yelling incomprehensible things in a slavic language.
-Involved in a full on melee (3 or more players) with opposition players


3 drinks
Gathers 20 disposals
-taunts opposition player who he has just shirtfronted.
-dishes out the patented 'don't argue' shirtfront whilst in possession of the ball.
- Is dragged for doing something stupid
-returns to field after sustaining injury
-Gains possession 50m from goal and does NOT have a shot.
-Celebrates goal by punching teammates, air, leaping at least a foot off the ground AND yelling incomprehensible things in a slavic language.
-runs down opposition player.
-Accepts a decision without arguing with the umpire in any shape or form.

4 drinks
-Gathers 25 Disposals
-Backs down from opposition player attempting to intimidate him.
-Kicks a goal, and celebrates by walking quietly back to his position.

Sustains heart attack (presumably whilst celebrating goal), (drink self insensible)
Reaches 300 games (drink self insensible)

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by noodle
you should just put this in your sig carly.

Done!!!

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Mead
-Celebrates goal by punching air and yelling incomprehensible things in a slavic language.

Hey!!!!!! We Croats understand what he's saying. What in the hell is wrong with the rest of yer!