Friend Etiquette

[checkraiseulite]

So tonight a friend asked me if i would drive him and his girlfriend to Avalon airport this week and it kind of caught me off guard and got me thinking.

What is it cool to ask your friends to do for you? Is it ok to straight up say no when friends ask you for favours that mildly inconvenience you? Is it better to lie and say you're busy? Or do friends do this kind of stuff for each other no questions asked?

 

[standingroomonly]

People still fly out of Avalon....Wow.

I'm lucky that most of my friends don't really ask for favors too often. I've moved the odd couch or fridge but nothing too out of the ordinary. I'd definitely try and get out of that airport drive, Avalon especially is taking the piss if you live on the Eastern side of the city. I'm lucky that I work a flexible shif based job and can normally get out of anything by throwing work under the bus.

So are you going to drive them? And pick them up?! There would be some serious points accrued for that.

 

[checkraiseulite]

People still fly out of Avalon....Wow.

I'm lucky that most of my friends don't really ask for favors too often. I've moved the odd couch or fridge but nothing too out of the ordinary. I'd definitely try and get out of that airport drive, Avalon especially is taking the piss if you live on the Eastern side of the city. I'm lucky that I work a flexible shif based job and can normally get out of anything by throwing work under the bus.

So are you going to drive them? And pick them up?! There would be some serious points accrued for that.

He's only asked me to take them out there Friday morning, probably because he lives pretty close to me.
I told him I'd let him know tomorrow if I can do it, although I'm 99% sure I could do it if I wanted to. It will mean I have to get up earlier than usual and perhaps influence my Thursday night activities if I chose to commit to taking them.

He's not one of my close friends and has not done anything like this for me before. I have met his girlfriend probably 10-15 times. I would never have asked him for the same favour.

I may take them out there, but I certainly won't be picking them up. To me it seems a fairly dick move to ask.

 

[The Dice Man]

If you value the friendship, do it. If you want to poke his Missus do it. If he follows Carlton or essendon, **** his Missus and tell him to walk.

 

[Papa Juggs]

"He's not one of my close friends and has not done anything like this for me before."


This is the answer you're looking for.

Say your car is playing up and you need to take it in for a service, long drives are out.

It's true too because all cars break down on long drives you don't need to do.

 

[iDon]

Ever thought of being an all round good bloke and helping him out?

Any good human would offer you petrol money to take them out there anyways.

 

[Papa Juggs]

If only the cost of cars was just the cost of petrol....

Sounds like this guy is a giant douche to even ask if he isn't one of your best mates of many years.

 

[The Passenger]

pretty strange situations if you're not good mates.

is he a massive tightass by any chance??

there are buses from southern cross which are timetables to get people for each flight. just tell them you've got shit on but can drop them at southern cross. maybe he's trying to get out of paying the 2 x $20 for the bus.

without knowing the dynamics of your mateship, i'd say there's an 80% chance he'll drop the "is there any chance you can pick us up" line...

 

[Roobs321]

Remember in school those friends who would come over EVERY SINGLE DAY, often straight after school. Imo that is poor friend ettiquete, like a suffocating friendship, me and my younger brothers all had atleast 1 friend doing this. And these arent neighbours, kids that ride over from the other side of town.

It can be cool at first, but quickly comes annoying.

As for OP, its not really that bad surely. Probably depends on how busy you are on that particular day, and if he is just a friend of a friend, then fair enough. But it doesnt hurt to help out every now and then, obviously if it becomes a recurring thing then time to let him go though.

 

[JD-Roo]

Can't believe some of the responses here. Glad I'm not mates with some of you lot.

The answer is "yes". If he's a mate then you shouldn't even have to think about it.

 

[Papa Juggs]

I've bummed rides before so I know what it's like.

Some people really don't care, they have a good car and they don't mind helping out a friend in need.

Others don't want to ask for petrol money even though they're broke so just don't bother.

I once got a lift home from some random chick when drunk in town. Her friends (a couple) were in the back seat and I got shotgun, I had been chatting with her earlier on in the night and she sorta spotted me hanging around after I was ditched by all my mates so started chatting again and mentioned I was stuck and she offered a lift home.

I was like 18 and she was like my age now. She wasn't interested, just friendly.

 

[Gasometer]

I once worked with someone who used to ask for money on the hop.

wasn't a friend, more of an acquaintance, but I soon figured out to say no.

 

[woopedazz]

If only the cost of cars was just the cost of petrol....

What else are you going to charge him for? A percentage of your insurance/registration costs?

Sounds like this guy is a giant douche to even ask if he isn't one of your best mates of many years.

Or maybe he just wants a ride to the airport and considers OP a good friend.

I've bummed rides before so I know what it's like.

I once got a lift home from some random chick when drunk in town. Her friends (a couple) were in the back seat and I got shotgun, I had been chatting with her earlier on in the night and she sorta spotted me hanging around after I was ditched by all my mates so started chatting again and mentioned I was stuck and she offered a lift home.

I was like 18 and she was like my age now. She wasn't interested, just friendly.

If only the cost of cars was just the cost of petrol....

Sounds like this guy is a giant douche to even ask if he wasn't one of her best mates of many years.

Have to add it's a telling word you use to describe her actions - "friendly."

 

[Papa Juggs]

Random kindness, never asked.

 

[checkraiseulite]

Just had a look at the parking costs at Avalon and found out it's only ~$65 to leave your car there for 4 days.

He can take his own car and leave it there.

 

[walshy93]

Just had a look at the parking costs at Avalon and found out it's only ~$65 to leave your car there for 4 days.

He can take his own car and leave it there.

Glad I'm not mates with you.

 

[iDon]

Random kindness, never asked.

You said you mentioned you were stuck there.

I can only imagine how that went down when smashed out the front of a pub.

checkraiseulite you say he is a friend but obviously he isn't. You're obviously more concerned about getting up early and having a quiet Thursday night then helping out a 'friend'. Some average responses and glad a few aren't in my circle of friends.

 

[Silent Alarm]

Ol' Gibbsy needs to ask himself some of these questions...

I dunno, most of my school mates never really asked for much. We'd help each other with getting beers when we were underage, stuff like that. A lot of my friends back home smoke a but of pot, more so out of gap year/unemployment boredom. I think there are some perennial scabs with that. I've always felt awkward asking for stuff that could be considered even a bit too much, but whatever.

One of them was a mega scab, but he was a good guy and literally never said anything bad about anyone. He also let 20 or so people get pissed at his house a fair bit, so that got us to break even.

 

[checkraiseulite]

Glad I'm not mates with you.

If it was a close mate I would have done it no questions asked.

But I'm glad I'm not friends with people like you who seem to value their money over their friends' time.

 

[walshy93]

If it was a close mate I would have done it no questions asked.

But I'm glad I'm not friends with people like you who seem to value their money over their friends' time.

Maybe he is trying to reconnect with you, and a drive down to Avalon is a good way to do it. If he were any sort of bloke, he would know the costs of parking and offer you petrol money for the trek.
If you're 99% sure you can do it, suck it up man! Have a catch up and drive them down to Avalon.

 

[Colin D'Cops]

What goes around often comes around.

Give him a lift and you never know, you may want a favour in the future.

 

[Papa Juggs]

He should do it just for the story now.

BTW I gave that lady $5 for petrol. I don't think she cared but I just shoved it in the console as I got out.

 

[THRILLHO]

Pretty simple really.

If you have to ask whether or not you should do it, he's not a mate and you don't have to do it. You should only ask mates for lifts to the airport and help with moving.

Having said that, since he asked, I'd probably do it. Can't see how driving someone to the airport is really that much of an imposition on someone's life. Plus, could be a good chance to move from being a friend to having a mate. Can't have too many of those.

 

[woopedazz]

He should do it just for the story now.

BTW I gave that lady $5 for petrol. I don't think she cared but I just shoved it in the console as I got out.

But you made it very clear before that petrol money has no bearing in these scenarios. So why does it count now?

 

[Papa Juggs]

Hey it was a long time ago and I was very drunk.

Opinions might have changed a little.

Like I said I never asked. It was 2 hours until the bus home and I was just wandering the streets bored.